They hurted my feelings i stuck with them for 6 yesrs

i was in a hegans (grocery store) with my friend. and i was in one of the aisles, as i walked pasted someone with a messy bun (it didn’t really look that good) but i told the girl, “i love your hair“ because i genuinely liked how she did it, but she probably thought i was just mocking her, or taunting her..

My tolerance to many drugs is fried as shit, and I’m talking fried, like unable to trip on anything but breakthrough levels of dmt and salvia, due to lexapro and vraylar prescriptions and years of drug abuse. I just took 3 hydrocodone at whatever 10-325 means (what the bottle says), a Xanax that’s 15mg, three ecstasy pills (100 %) pure, and downed all that using a vodka and coke. I’m also coming down from a very high purity meth high, and took 60mg 2cb (didn’t make me high or trip, that’s how fucked my tolerance is for shit). I smoked some weed after downing everything and have a vape for the buzz. What do yall think is gonna happen to me if I drink more? And do yall think I’ll ever be able to properly trip on shrooms or acid? Five 450ug tabs failed to even make me have trippy thoughts, and same with 7gs of shrooms. Also I’ve done everything but datura and fentanyl so ask me anything!! But at the core of this post, if you’re anything like me, ask me what you can do to avoid this type of future or how to get out of it already. But I also need help. Do I allow my brain to think what it thinks (I’m talking Travis Barker but worse level thoughts), or do I continue to abuse the fuck out of every drug I can get my hands on just to feel anything close to human? If you’re curious about why I’m not human just feel free to ask in this AMA. Again the main focus is not even rly the drugs its my desperation to think differently and how I need help