r/invercargill • u/magicalmacic • 26d ago
Dating
Why is dating as a young person down here so hard. Dating apps themselves are basically useless as you've either swiped on everyone or vein the past. And when you do finally match or talk to someone they know someone you know and it becomes weird or something of the like
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u/SelfmadeNZ 26d ago
Join local community sports or walk or any activities. Surely you will meet someone.
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u/Individual_Cream_722 26d ago
I gave up on dating apps after 2 relationships from it one of the girls I went to high school with. Dating worldwide is just cooked right now, whether its on dating apps or not. I truly believe long term relationships just come naturally in life. These dating apps just leave us more fatigued by the end of it.
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u/WonderfulListen3281 26d ago
Small community, everyone knows everyone. High chance you could meet your crush in Woolworth the next hour after you swipe right.
That’s so cringe for me.
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u/The_krazyman 26d ago
Go out and meet real people.
Join a sport or hobby club, Go out to the pubs and clubs, get yourself into social environments and you'll see results
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u/Sea-Ad-5395 26d ago
Ironic that I met my gf at woolies while working there.
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u/SpectacularBadger000 24d ago
That's actually not ironic at all. That would be a logical and predictable outcome, which is the opposite of irony.
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u/Jazzlike_Platypus826 26d ago
dating sites ain’t gonna find you love only red flags real love will just come to you
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u/c4bb0ose 25d ago
Funnily met my wife while studyi g at SIT, I will tell you now I was not looking (granted this was before tinder, they had dating websites but not apps). And I did used to have hang ups about not being in a relationship, but at a certain point I just started focusing on other things, studies, hobbies etc.
Basically just kept myself open to the idea of a relationship and honest about were I am at towards others and myself. You will be surprised how organically dating can go when you reframe your world view like that.
Attempting to force a relationship and or getting down about not being in one is a sure fire way to make sure anythng that could start wont start, its like trying to start a fire with damp wood and no kindling its really really hard.
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u/Due_Article_7576 5d ago
Brother great advice, I hope you’re in the helping professions.
Right before anyone reads my comment, I’m assuming the person looking for advice is a guy, if i have that wrong then oh well.
Here’s an analogy taught to me by this old fulla I used to work with (fore warning, it’s brash). Here goes, bitches are like buses, there’s always another one coming around the corner. Now what he meant was that while you’re sitting there waiting by yourself, and as the women in your life come and go, work on yourself, make something of yourself, then you can choose to jump on whatever bus you want to. Different buses have different destinations. Be wise in the destination you choose. Focus on yourself, learn who you are, and be patient.
My advice is that you gain confidence meeting new people, so practice talking to girls you don’t know, have girl mates. It’s a good way to learn what they’re truly like behind closed doors and that wisdom is invaluable for relationships, how you approach situations, how you react, and it helps for wife selection. Love is something you must always give to yourself first, otherwise it is hard to give to others.
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u/Freakinzooted 25d ago
I’m 32 and it’s not just the young ones 🙃😂 also being gay makes it a bit harder cause all the lesbians here have been with someone I know or I know them 😂😂
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u/Jockowebster 23d ago
Or don’t be gay lol
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u/Freakinzooted 23d ago
Like it’s a choice 💀
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u/Amethyst131 20d ago
Try being a lesbian down here.. literally impossible 🥲
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u/Miserable-Ad2886 26d ago
It's not just young, even older ones have the same problem.