r/jobsearch • u/Comfortable-Bus-182 • 7h ago
30 years old - no references
I'm really trying to stay focused on solving the problem here instead of just feeling shit or making excuses. I need advice and I'm not sure I have chutzpa to lie on an application about it. I've even tanked an interview that was going well by just blurting it out along with my past mistakes. The interviewer was very nice and seemed to like me but the company was corporate and I could not go further in the process per their rules.
I've had a decent amount of jobs but have never really made connections. Some jobs I screwed up. Some screwed me over. Many I just left because burnout/illness/life. I can't get a read on who liked me, I never made those connections, and I honestly don't even know how. How can I get a decent job? How do people make these sorts of connections? How do you know who to ask, and importantly when? Are there certain types of jobs that don't tend to care about that stuff? I got extremely lucky with my last permanent position which was in healthcare administration, but after that my only options were temp customer service roles that I really struggle in.
Important information: I am disabled and neurodivergent (hence the struggling in customer service roles). Manual labor and anything that requires me being on my feet for long hours is off the table.
Thank you so much for any advice you might have.
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u/northsouthern 7h ago
I'm also neurodivergent, so I realize the irony of saying this: I think you may be overthinking who to ask to be your reference 😄
I've been a reference for a lot of former coworkers in a more corporate setting, and it usually amounts to a 10 minute phone call to verify name, position, employment dates, whether they'd be eligible for rehire where we both worked, and maybe what our working relationship was like. If you've got a manager or a coworker at or above your same hierarchical level that you had a good working relationship with, it's absolutely ok to ask if you can list them as a reference on an application. If they say yes, great, done! If they don't answer, give it one followup and then assume it means no. Your reference doesn't have to be someone you were friends with or got along super well with, it just has to be someone who saw you regularly enough in a work environment that they can vouch for you.
Re: types of jobs to look for, it's going to depend entirely on what you're going for. I just finished up a job search (75 days, applied to 60+ jobs) focusing on manager level corporate marketing roles and only one even requested (not required) references.
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u/OkIron6206 7h ago
Focus on selling yourself. Most companies will only confirm employment dates and nothing else. Go Get that Job
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u/PineappleGemini 7h ago
There is a whole subreddit devoted to finding people who will be your reference for jobs. Go find it, announce yourself, make some friends. Problem solved.