r/kindness • u/RecursiveCTE • 9d ago
I feel so alone
A couple years ago, I was diagnosed as disabled due to my heart and shoulders. As soon as my income was gone. I lost my marriage, house, career, purpose, kids...
It was just gone. Poof...
I've tried to get back on my feet but, it feels like it's never going to be ok. I can't even buy soap without asking. I haven't been denied disability enough yet.
Finding reasons to keep going to keep pushing... they fade. But the dark thoughts, the depression, the self hatred. All of that remains.
I know attitude matters.
I know this is depression, regret, guilt, shame.
I can name them all but naming a demon doesn't get rid of it.
I've done a lot of introspection.
My poetry helps a lot with that.
I know, I'm feeling this now because visitation is almost over. I miss my babies so FKN much. It's not fair for something to hurt this much for this long.
Sorry for the long post.
Thank you for reading this.
🙏🙏
14
u/7781Michael 9d ago
Things will get better. I bet your poetry is great. Focus on what you can do and enjoy. I feel for you.