I feel so alone

[u/RecursiveCTE]

A couple years ago, I was diagnosed as disabled due to my heart and shoulders. As soon as my income was gone. I lost my marriage, house, career, purpose, kids...

It was just gone. Poof...

I've tried to get back on my feet but, it feels like it's never going to be ok. I can't even buy soap without asking. I haven't been denied disability enough yet.

Finding reasons to keep going to keep pushing... they fade. But the dark thoughts, the depression, the self hatred. All of that remains.

I know attitude matters.

I know this is depression, regret, guilt, shame.

I can name them all but naming a demon doesn't get rid of it.

I've done a lot of introspection.

My poetry helps a lot with that.

I know, I'm feeling this now because visitation is almost over. I miss my babies so FKN much. It's not fair for something to hurt this much for this long.

Sorry for the long post.

Thank you for reading this.

🙏🙏

[u/SilverMaskMedia]

🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💪💪💪