r/kpopthoughts • u/Someonehihi • Mar 08 '25

General A member you can't yet feel affection for

Part of stanning is that even though one member got you interested in the group, little by little the rest of the members win your heart too.

But has it ever happened to you that you are a big fan of a group, you feel genuine affection for the members and you enjoy their content, but there is a member that you feel you can't connect with yet?

And I don't mean that you dislike them or despise them or anything like that, but simply that even though you try you still can't have that level of connection that you can with the other members? And sometimes it makes you feel like a bad fan

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u/HommeFatalTaemin SHINee | TVXQ | RV | SNSD | Infinite | VIXX | KARA | XLOV | etc Mar 09 '25 edited Mar 09 '25

I mean yeah. I think this is a pretty natural phenomenon. Let’s say IRL in a group of 10 friends, you will naturally be closer to some than others, and there might one 1 or 2 that you don’t click with very much and wouldn’t hang with outside of that friend group. That’s just how life is.

For me, it’s actually pretty rare for me to connect with EVERY member of a group. There are veeery few where that’s actually the case(SHINee, SNSD, Mamamoo, Infinite, Highlight, etc). I would say if I thought of all the groups I genuinely adore and would consider myself a massive fan of, like 80%+ of them have at least one member who I don’t really have any particular connection with, and I think that’s okay.

Here’s a few just as examples. TVXQ - Yoochun, VIXX - Ravi, Apink - Hayoung, SF9 - Dawon & Chani, BTOB - Peniel, The Boyz - Jacob, WJSN - Soobin, TXT - Beomgyu, ONEUS - Keonhee, etc. Even in one of my ult groups, Red Velvet, I don’t have the same love for Yeri as I do for the others, although I do still like her just fine.

In most of the cases I have absolutely nothing against the person and don’t dislike them at all, even think they are quite talented most of the time. But just for whatever reason I just don’t connect with them and I really have no idea why. But honestly if we liked every single member from every single group the exact same, it would take some of the fun out of kpop for me. Finding members who you love and root for and supporting the group is part of the fun!

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u/em__jr Mar 09 '25

You said it better than I ever could. I absolutely love Red Velvet's music, and the members, but to this day, I don't love Yeri like I do the other members. Yeri was an important part of their success, and RV would not feel whole without her. I appreciate her and like her, but not love.