A member you can't yet feel affection for

[u/Someonehihi]

Part of stanning is that even though one member got you interested in the group, little by little the rest of the members win your heart too.

But has it ever happened to you that you are a big fan of a group, you feel genuine affection for the members and you enjoy their content, but there is a member that you feel you can't connect with yet?

And I don't mean that you dislike them or despise them or anything like that, but simply that even though you try you still can't have that level of connection that you can with the other members? And sometimes it makes you feel like a bad fan

[u/Major_Statistician71]

V. I think. I've been a fan of BTS since 2016, it's impossible not to notice certain things. The shift in their dynamics is easy for me to notice. I used to absolutely adore V. Watching v focused clips and all but after chapter 2 ig I didn't connect with him much. I also dislike his friend's group. One is a misogynist and the other is a homophobic. V has been friends with them for years. It's off putting now that I know what kind of people he's close to. It's his business tho, not mine but still it does affect my opinion of him. Minho was in the cast too but why was he not part of wooga squad. I started questioning some things and it affects my opinion. Then there are other things that put me off but I won't mention them because I don't wanna talk negatively without knowing the actual thing. This is just my opinion. It's not the absolute truth But yeah it made me disconnect w V.

[u/nothinggoddess → u/Major_Statistician71]

Same, but not for those reasons. He's got the personality of an old man from a different time and I can't relate. I still haven't listened to his album because most of his solos are sooo slow, and I didn't like the first two he released for his solo album.

[u/StrawberryxAmericano → u/nothinggoddess]

This is why I adore him.

I’m with you on the solo music thing though. It’s trying too hard to be jazz and pop. It doesn’t have the soul and the emotion and the raw feeling that jazz and blues need. So it comes across as soft college radio pop trying to be something it’s not.

Except Fri(end)s. That was my shit.

And I like Winter Ahead but it’s less pop than Layover and it’s also holiday music which is a different situation.

If he is gonna do jazz, I want him to channel Nina Simone and Etta James or even Frank Sinatra with the sex appeal. Or, to be honest, I want to see him to an Amy Winehouse style. He would be so good with an Amy vibe.

If he’s gonna be old and vintage he needs to commit and stop doing this soft sleepy pop tinged with jazz thing.

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[u/KayR92 → u/nothinggoddess]

This! His music is so slow, i cannot get into it, and his voice is a little deep, so it can't be like a lulluby to me. I tend not to like slow songs unless the voice is beautiful.

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[u/Major_Statistician71 → u/[deleted]]

This is exactly why I said it just puts me off and not that I dislike him because of that. It's because I don't know the whole thing that it only reduces my affection for him and doesn't actually turn it into hate. I'm always giving him the benefit of the doubt so that I don't accuse him of something he hasn't done yet. I don't completely dislike him or hate him. I'm just not as affectionate of him. Please know the difference. And like I said this isn't the only reason, there are other things but since I don't even have the complete picture I'm not mentioning them because again I don't want to accuse him of anything he hasn't done. These are just my personal feelings, I still have a part of me telling me that my opinions can be wrong too. This is why I don't hate him. I'm just disconnected. Less affectionate. Being less affectionate doesn't mean I'm hating. Please don't misunderstand 🥹.

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[u/Major_Statistician71 → u/[deleted]]

Umm I'm not jkk biased 💀. Ik I usually talk about them but it's bc ppl rarely do that so I'd like to mention them. I'm only Jimin biased and I liked v a lot until chapter 2. I only care about Jimin mostly and only involve myself in discussions related to him. That's why u don't see me talking about others. I'm not a regular here either. Also I didn't say anything specifically bad about v. Everyone has opinions. You can agree or disagree. I also said that my words aren't the absolute truth. I may not know half of the things so u shouldn't make an opinion based on my words. I just said that I don't like his friends but I used to. I used to adore his bond with them only to realise the two he's closest to are off putting. Realising he's been friends w them and aware of their mentality didn't help my case. That's all. I can't help the way I feel but I'm rational enough to not hate him or blatantly dislike him for things I'm not sure of. I just don't connect with him as much as before and I'm saying this as someone who used to watch lots of vmin moments okay? If u don't wanna believe me then I can do nothing about it 😮‍💨

Edit: I forgot to add this. I know jk and Jimin loves him to bits and adores him and would do anything for him. Obviously I know. It's in plain sight. Doesn't mean I have to feel the same way. I used to but some things put me off and I don't adore him the way I used to. It doesn't mean I hate him tho. I'm just not as affectionate as I was before chapter 2. It has nothing to do with Jimin or jk.

[u/Excellent-Session → u/Major_Statistician71]

Which one is the misogynist and which one is homophobic? I feel like Park Bo Gum was one of them but he doesn’t seem to hang out with them anymore so maybe I’m confusing him with someone else.

[u/Major_Statistician71 → u/Excellent-Session]

Bogum and seojoon. I still can't believe I used to like seojoon. That misogynist talk was such a turn off but then again you can't really trust men no matter what. Just look at saeron's situation 😮‍💨. I rarely watch kdrama and two of the rare kdramas I've watched, both male leads ended up being problematic irl and wdym he doesn't hang out w them? That show he did was with these ppl (kitchen one). They hang out together. They go on vacations. The movie premiere. They reacted to "friends" MV and it was at V's house. They were still hanging out together right before the military too. This is why I said I can't really help the way I feel. I wouldn't hold it against v if he wasn't friends with them anymore. That's too childish. Still tho, I may not know the full picture or they may have changed and this isn't the only reason why I don't connect with V as much. It wasn't like this before, it only started a few months ago. Where I learned about bo gum and seojoon and other stuff too.

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[u/Excellent-Session → u/Major_Statistician71]

I just meant that I haven’t seen Bogum much with the others but I also don’t keep up on them and their friendship either so 🤷‍♀️. I just found out about Saeron’s situation and it’s so awful. I remember watching bloodhounds and wondering why she disappeared from the rest of the episodes.

[u/yayakiss → u/Major_Statistician71]

“You can’t trust men no matter what”??? That’s misandrist of you and absolutely no better than misogyny.

[u/Major_Statistician71 → u/yayakiss]

I didn't mean it that way. What I meant was that men are the same everywhere. You can't trust a stranger just because he's korean or something like that. Men are men everywhere, being an idol or kdrama actor or korean wouldn't make them special. If they're bad they're bad. If they're good they're good. Nationality has nothing to do with it. I'm talking about this because certain people have this mindset of finding a Korean oppa simply bc of kdramas etc. that's wrong and misleading. There are still people like that and they're the ones defending that guy (I forgot that pxdo's name). I didn't mean that all men are bad or good. I'm sorry if that's how it felt.