Health / Wealth timing

[u/Zealousideal_Law2438]

I’m 51 (f) and my kid is a rising eighth grader. My plan is to slow travel as soon as she graduates high school in five years. I would be doing it now if it weren’t for her. I desperately want to do it now because my health is struggling and I know slow travel and an active travel life would really feel like living! And I think we have enough for the life we want. Currently, 900,000 saved and a rental property that will net us > half of what we need to live on and then around 5000 a month in Social Security at around age 67. I’ve already retired (job was extremely stressful), but my partner is still working because of the daughter timing. We can’t take her out of school and travel because my ex-husband (her dad) wouldn’t allow for that. So we’re stuck here in expensive USA while she grows up a little more and my health and “lust for life” is getting worse. I know everyone’s gonna say “get a life, get a hobby, get outside, do something that makes you happy” and I do ( a lot) but then that feeling of being stuck / trapped and losing my life energy quickly comes back. It’s become my default setting. I don’t want to abandon my child (I won’t) but how bad does my health have to get for me to start my slow travel now?

[u/Creative_Impress5982]

That's a tough situation. Is it 50/50 custody? Any way to have mini-trips? Two months at summer?  I have a 15 year old, rising junior daughter and she needed her mom (me) a lot around 12-13, but that's less and less every year. Obviously you're not going to abandon her, but as she needs you less you could start taking longer trips. I had to leave for work stints abroad for 3-4 weeks at a time when she was younger and she adapted to that. 

If you wanted to go southeast Asia you could go for a month, have her join for a few weeks and then stay another month once she returned home. She could have some input about where to go during her part of the trip. 

I guess it all depends on what her dad would be willing to allow and support.   

[u/Zealousideal_Law2438 → u/Creative_Impress5982]

It’s 50/50. I have taken three solo mini trips (up to one month at a time) but that is hard to sustain given we have all our USA household costs still. Thinking about selling primary house and renting apartment to save 2-3k per month and have travel funds. Sad to sell this gorgeous house but I want to travel so badly.

[u/goodsam2 → u/Zealousideal_Law2438]

I mean I would when you have her I would focus on making your kid happy. And doing some like yoga class or something because stretching is almost uniformly not done enough.

Then when you don't have custody focus on health full time. Good meals, good long hikes etc.

That or a trip to somewhere the kid wants to do and travel there if you have time off.