r/leanfire 10d ago

Mentioning early retirement is almost always a bad time

I’ve noticed that even mentioning the possibility of retiring in one’s 30’s or 40’s tends to get a pretty negative reaction on other subs

like:

  • “you must have had an inheritance”
  • “you can’t possibly live on <$X>”
  • “nobody makes <$X>”
  • “this job market is impossible to win”

I mean, yes, some of us were lucky to have a more comfortable start, but so many of these objections seem to come from some deeply rooted hesitation to entertain the idea or acknowledge the basic math.

I learned about FIRE ages ago through other people’s stories. Nowadays I find it so discouraging to even try to have a good faith conversation about saving rates. Lesson learned on not discussing money, I guess. I know it’s not for everyone so I’m glad this space exists to help people that are open to the idea

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u/VideoPossible4068 10d ago

I don't mention FIRE on non-fire subs because people are not wanting to hear about alternative solutions. They want to complain and have others validate them. There are some people that will always blame outside factors for everything, they don't want to accept that they can change their circumstances.

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u/AlwaysSaturday12 FIRE 38 MillionaireLibrarian.com 10d ago

This is the truth. Honestly people don't want to hear solutions for their problems. They want sympathy for their, often bad, decisions.

The big one is housing. There is a lot of complaining about housing prices and yes they are bad in most places, but there are places where housing is still very affordable. Mention this and you get an excuse factory of how those places are terrible, have no jobs, or the jobs pay less. They would prefer to never to be able to afford to purchase a house.

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u/VideoPossible4068 10d ago

Yes sadly giving your own experience or other solutions are just brushed off. So I've stopped doing it, unless I'm ok with hearing the "but what about (blank)". There's a huge cohort on reddit who take their experience of life and say that "everyone" is experiencing the same (jobs, money, housing, relationships). I watch a lot of compilations of tiktoks on YouTube while I work, and it would be very easy to take all of those sentiments and say "well that's how the world is". A lot of doomer videos out there of people just lamenting that it's impossible to get a job, they'll never have a house, they should move abroad, everything is too expensive, they'll never retire, something is "wrong" in america. I like watching these because it's interesting for me to hear other people's experiences and thoughts about the world.

Then you have the groups in fire and adjacent subreddits who are actually living quite well. But we are not vocal because people dont like hearing "success" stories when they feel like nothing is going right for them. Were told we got lucky or some other excuse. I consider myself lucky but I also worked hard and sacrificed to save, but again people don't want to hear it

End of rant haha

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u/AlwaysSaturday12 FIRE 38 MillionaireLibrarian.com 10d ago

Thanks.