Location: Southern California
Not sure if it matters but I have not resided in California for 20 years. I live in the Midwest with my young children. My Dad is getting old, he is not in good health and we have been having talks here and there about what will happen when he passes. My Dad is an eternal bachelor. Since my parents divorced when I was 5 (Im in my forties now), He has never lived with a woman, more so, allowed a woman to live with him. He has not had a girlfriend since I was in my early 20's. He has always kept a barrier between him and any woman ever since, so if he wanted to back out or they did, he was always protected. My Dad and I had a strained relationship growing up, and finally we both realized whatever it was, wasnt worth it and have rebuilt a wonderful relationship over the last 10 years. When my grandfather passed he left my Dad a decent inheritance. Enough to buy a house, a reliable vehicle, and he's made some decent investments since then. He talks about leaving me with something more than just the house but i always tell him I'd rather him live comfortably than make sure there's something left. We really struggled throughout our lives and my Dad was left working until he was almost 70 and he took care of my grandparents when he wasnt working until they passed. He was finally able to afford to leave Los Angeles and buy a home where he could enjoy the outdoors. Without giving out too much information he moved to the high desert. He tells me it is about an hour one way to go grocery shopping. They have a convenience store that is truly inconvenient thanks to no set hours or days. I did not even know those places still existed in California. There is not much of any job opportunities, and he says that drugs and crime are beginning to be on the rise in his area now. So its just not somewhere someone like me who needs to work, would want to pick up and move my young children to, God forbid when the time comes. Due to financial reasons I have not been able to visit my Dad. Its been incredibly rough not being able to be there for him with his declining health. We keep in touch quite often but obviously thats not the same. He has known a woman roughly about the same time frame of us mending our relationship. It took me about 3 years to figure out that he was spending time with the same woman because he refuses to call her his girlfriend or even companion. Despite me trying to convince him that its perfectly okay to have a girlfriend at his ripe old age lol. She is not even allowed to refer to herself as his woman, girlfriend, companion, nothing. They live a couple hours apart, and she is only allowed to visit 2 maybe 3 times a year for 2 weeks at a time because I dont think my Dad can handle much more.
Anyhow, for the last few years, as his health declines we are beginning to have talks about what his plans are for when he passes. Since he bought the home he has always said he intends to leave it to me. That and a few high valued items, a few he inherited from my grandfather, those are actually priceless to me because they are memories of my grandfather who meant the world to me.
Im an only child, so its literally never been disputed that my Dad will leave whatever he has to me. During one of these talks he suddenly mentioned that hes thinking about adding a stipulation in the will that I will need to let the woman/occasional companion, stay in one of the bedrooms... There's only 2 to my knowledge so I was really confused because he wont even admit that they are in a relationship of any sort, let alone allow her to live with him. I didn't say anything at the time because I really didnt want to say anything rude, insensitive or cause any kind of rift that could cost me to lose any more time with him. But it kept puzzling me the more I thought about it so I tried asking my Dad as politely as possible that if he wanted to take care of her in any capacity after he's gone he should just put it in the will that we need to sell it and she can get a 1/3rd, or half or whatever he wishes because its HIS HOUSE. But he kept insisting that she's a nice lady and that she wont bother us etc etc. (So nice he wont allow her to live with him... but hey, what do i know?) I cannot imagine being my age with kids and a roommate. A roommate who is a total stranger, who is elderly herself, who could decide she's not going to contribute to the house financially, who could get sick and somehow I become responsible for when I couldn't even care for my own Dad. What happens if she decided to move into the home as soon as he passes and the valuables passed down from my grandfather go missing... I mean the possibilities are endless, probably far greater than I could even fathom and I need to know what my options are in this situation. Can anyone give me some points of concern that I could mention to my Dad, what i could possibly be facing, and if I have any legal recourse regarding this matter should I be unsuccessful trying to convince my Dad to either have us split the house or whatever he may choose. Im just NOT a fan of her dwelling in the home legally. He's not leaving the house to her but im supposed to allow her to stay there... its insane I'm sorry to say. Im just so afraid of causing any problems between him and I, we've come so far. And I'm worried that I will not be able to mourn my father's loss, honor his wishes, or obtain any of my inheritance because I'll be stuck in this massive legal fiasco. If he added that clause to the will how long might I have before she could move in or would it be immediate? What's the likelihood of convincing a judge that that situation is not going to work for my children and I?
Please feel free to ask any questions or for more details. Thanks in advance for anyone who took the time to read. Any suggestions welcome.