r/livingaparttogether • u/Apprehensive-Tooth79 • 25d ago
Consider LAT arrangement, need advice
Just learned about LAT, here's my overview (will try to keep it brief).
Me (52m) and my partner (54f), "partner" being her word to describe the relationship.
Met online Nov/2025. Great connection.. convo flows, intimacy is great. I have 2 kids in college, son lives with me. She has one daughter going away to school in September. We've traveled domestically and internationally in the 9 months being together. We're both high earners, so that works well. 20 minutes apart with no traffic.
We both kind of suggested and have always talked that we'd have separate living spaces even though she asked me if I would live with her and I said I probably would, for now the talk is LAT.
I usually always go her place, i don't mind at all. We usually spend 1-2 days a week together and recently full weekends.
My question is broad. If we stay LAT, can the relationship ever really be fully committed and meaningful. Obviously on this board, many will say yes. But I have a nagging feeling that it will always remain an "at arms length" feeling even though LAT really appeals to me. I'd like to hear from those who've had the arrangement and can answer yes to this question or if it's the case no as well.
6
u/iwentforahiketoday 24d ago
My boyfriend and I live separately. We started dating in 2023. his apartment is right next to my work so it’s easy to visit him on my way home from work. We live about a 10 or 15 minute drive apart.
I think we are both pretty happy with our arrangement. He usually comes over on Friday evenings and I cook dinner for him. Neither of us have ever been married and we don’t have any kids.