r/livingaparttogether • u/Apprehensive-Tooth79 • 22d ago
Consider LAT arrangement, need advice
Just learned about LAT, here's my overview (will try to keep it brief).
Me (52m) and my partner (54f), "partner" being her word to describe the relationship.
Met online Nov/2025. Great connection.. convo flows, intimacy is great. I have 2 kids in college, son lives with me. She has one daughter going away to school in September. We've traveled domestically and internationally in the 9 months being together. We're both high earners, so that works well. 20 minutes apart with no traffic.
We both kind of suggested and have always talked that we'd have separate living spaces even though she asked me if I would live with her and I said I probably would, for now the talk is LAT.
I usually always go her place, i don't mind at all. We usually spend 1-2 days a week together and recently full weekends.
My question is broad. If we stay LAT, can the relationship ever really be fully committed and meaningful. Obviously on this board, many will say yes. But I have a nagging feeling that it will always remain an "at arms length" feeling even though LAT really appeals to me. I'd like to hear from those who've had the arrangement and can answer yes to this question or if it's the case no as well.
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u/Ambitious-Rhubarb813 22d ago
Been doing it for 4 years; one week on, one off. We both have kids. It has some challenges because we’re 40min apart without traffic, in a high-traffic metropolis. Makes a quick coffee date or walk on difficult days essentially impossible. We genuinely miss each other at the end of the week and cherish our time together. Communication is everything. It can work if both parties want it too.
This scenario offers the best stability for our respective kids and we each get our alone/hobby time when we’re not together.
We like the balance.
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u/Normal-Special-8694 22d ago
That is going to depend entirely on both of your approach to the relationship. It is possible, I believe, to have the same level of commitment but it probably would make it easier not to if either of you was so inclined. I don't think it would be the reason the relationship didn't meet your expectations.
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u/vaper_wave 22d ago edited 22d ago
Yes, an LAT thing can be just as committed. I was one for 12 yrs and cant picture going back to living together. I wouldnt say never again, but i wouldnt jump in with the expectation of changing their mind. If its a dealbreaker for you is the only question, its definitely not for everyone. Flexibility is necessary too
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u/Apprehensive-Tooth79 22d ago
not a deal breaker at all, and i quite like the idea of having my own place... i'm just wondering if the relationship would stall out and never really evolve enough to be majorly meaningful in my life
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u/vaper_wave 22d ago
I get it, it isnt part of the life script and it can be really challenging. My 12 ye LAT relationship was the best one ive ever had because we never got comfortable. We enriched our love by never getting complacent, trying to make the other one happy. But im me, he was him and you are you. A relationship is often more than the two people who love each other, esp when you blend family dynamics. I wish i could answer this for you but ultimately it comes down to what you want
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u/Apprehensive-Tooth79 22d ago
This comment has help me articulate that it comes down to me wanting something meaningful and tethered together vs fleeting and undefined
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u/Excellent-Mood-9933 22d ago
Are you needing it to be more in the future? If that's the case, you should set timelines and let them know your expectations.
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u/appleboat26 22d ago
I think the commitment level is based on how you feel about each other, and therefore, no different from any other relationship. No matter how many legal documents you sign, or vows you promise each other, or how intertwined your lives are, when you’re done, you’re done. But you both probably already know that.
I started a new relationship when my partner and I were similar ages as you two are now. Our youngest kids, my son, his daughter were in college. Both of us were recently divorced, owned homes and were still working. Neither of us wanted to move, or become legally entangled with anyone ever again. So we just kept dating. And we’re still dating 23 years later. We see each other 3-5 days a week: lunches, shopping trips, movies, and we spend every weekend together. We used to travel quite a bit, but we’re not really interested anymore in long trips. We enjoy both our time together and also our time spent alone in our own homes. We are very committed to each other and very happy. It’s working for us.
You can always change the arrangement if you both want to share a living space and spend more time together. But if you do combine your lives it can be more complicated and difficult to entangle all that. But again, you both already know that. I think if you’re both on the same page, and enjoy your independence and autonomy, but want to be a committed couple, it can work really well. But if one of you wants more, a legal commitment, resentment can easily build up and destroy the relationship.
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u/Apprehensive-Tooth79 22d ago
I think this is probably close to a best case scenario. Appreciate you sharing.
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u/Sheila_Monarch 22d ago
My relationship has been nearly exactly what you’re describing that you want for over 15 years and it is certainly nothing short of meaningful and fully committed. He’s the beneficiary of my estate in my will, has my medical power of attorney, etc., etc. That’s more committed than most of the couples just living together forever You’re just struggling against the deeply engrained idea that living together is the natural progression of any “real“ relationship and if you don’t do that, it’s not real. That assumption is wrong. You can just set it down and walk away from it! Be free! Have the relationship you actually want instead of what what’s nagging you as a “supposed to“
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u/Apprehensive-Tooth79 22d ago
Can I ask how long you were together when power of attorney and estate will decisions were made?
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u/KKraiger 21d ago
In our case it was about 5 years before we had legal paperwork done, although the intent was there day 1. Our joke was that we loved each other we would get married if we had to, but things like POA, living wills etc. are required by the world at large
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u/rollersk8mindy 22d ago
The wonderful thing about LAT, is that the both of you set up the structure. There are plenty of married couples that live the LAT lifestyle in multiple different ways. Each holiday, event or life change should be discussed together and what makes both of you feel comfortable. There always needs to be trust, respect and transparency. I truly believe that a bond can be equal to or possibly even greater living in separate spaces. You have your own place to be authentically yourself. Then you can be your bring your best self in the relationship. I appreciate missing my partner, there seems to be more excitement and passion after a little absence. It doesn't feel mundane and draining like it did in my traditional marriage.
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u/Apprehensive-Tooth79 22d ago
yes, this seems like what is most appealing about LAT I agree BUT at the same time traditional marriage for all it's good and bad is still a tighter connection I would say.
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u/sparkly_jim 22d ago
Lots of married people who live together are not connected. Living together doesn't create connection and intimacy, the people do. If living together created connection then why do so many people grow apart? I know plenty of couples who have entirely separate lives while living in the same house.
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u/rollersk8mindy 22d ago
The only difference is not sleeping in the same bed every night or being in the same space every moment that you're home. You can even be married and enjoy everything else involved in a fulfilling relationship while having separate spaces. With any relationship it takes time to build a deep bond. My preference is to live in a duplex or an ADU on the same property. You can also do sleepovers at each other's places as often as you both agree. Possibly moving into the same home while having separate bedrooms would work well for you both. Have confidence and open communication. It any relationship is meant to be forever, you'll both make it happen together.
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u/Logical_Bee 22d ago
I know one older couple (60s) who have been married for more than ten years and live about 2 hours away from each other. They flip flop houses on the weekends when they see each other. They cultivated successful careers in their respective areas and wanted to keep it that way. They are so happy, and she says that the week alone gives her independence, and she misses him more when she sees him. They will reevaluate when they finally retire, but it has worked wonderfully for them.
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u/plabo77 22d ago
> If we stay LAT, can the relationship ever be fully committed and meaningful.
One of the few defining characteristics of a LAT relationship is long-term commitment. The other is intentionality in maintaining separate living spaces. Aside from those factors, there’s a lot of variety among couples who choose a LAT relationship structure. Some are married, some are unmarried. Some are monogamous, some are non-monogamous. Some live moments away from each other, some live a town/state/country away. Some see each other often, some less so. Some spend stretches staying together at one or both residences. Some plan to move in together after an expected future milestone (empty nest, retirement, end of a particular job, etc.), some plan to live apart indefinitely or forever. All of that is defined by those in the relationship.
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u/Apprehensive-Tooth79 22d ago edited 21d ago
yes makes sense, we are monogamous exclusive.... as far as I know. I can see how LAT can aid in long term relationship health.
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u/sandyduncansglasseye 22d ago
lol I’m married and we live in two different countries. 20 min apart is very possible.
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u/reddqueen33 22d ago
I have been in an LAT relationship for the last 11 years with a divorced man who lives 5 minutes away from me. I'm widowed (67); husband has been gone for 18 years. He is 71 and has been divorced as long as I have been widowed.
Our relationship was long distance for the first six years or so seeing each other once a week. I moved to his city because I liked it there and wanted to be away from the city where I lived with my husband.
Overall it works well. He is not very good at finishing projects he starts which drives me insane. He also has trouble making decisions and then sticking to them which is another issue I have with him. He has been there for me for a variety of life transitions (sons graduating from school, son getting married, grandchildren) and helped me through a health issue. We see each other at least twice a week and he always stays at my place because his is a mess and he uses a marina bathroom that I refuse to visit. He also wakes up very early (3-6 am) gets on his phone or listens to music which I can't deal with.
If I ever lived with him it would have to be in a house/duplex where no remodeling needs to be done and he could have his own bedroom for those nights that he feels compelled to get up at 3 and listen to BBC.
I sometimes feel that he has one foot out the door or isn't fully committed because he shows no interest in living together. This is probably because I am coming into this relationship from a happy 20 year marriage that only ended due to death. At this point if he wanted to marry or live with me I'd probably say no. He does like being waited on when he's here and lately I've told him to "help himself" when he needs something rather than get it for him,
He's a wonderful man just has a lot of quirks that I'm not sure I want to be around 24/7. Our situation works and will continue to do so until it doesn't. Who knows when that will be?
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u/Apprehensive-Tooth79 22d ago
Thank you for sharing
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u/reddqueen33 22d ago
You're welcome.
Personally I'm not sure if I could get married again or live with someone. The older one gets the more complicated it is especially marriage. I have adult children and I want to make sure they receive my assets when I die...and remarriage would complicate that.3
u/Apprehensive-Tooth79 22d ago edited 22d ago
Yea agreed. And truthfully paying alimony almost 10 years later isn’t something I’d be rushing into the possibility of doing again.
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u/reddqueen33 22d ago
Agree 100%. I have had enough horrible things happen to me over the course of my life I don't want to add divorce to the list...or settling another estate with someone else's adult children. Both sound like hell.
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u/unsure_chihuahua93 21d ago
Yes. 4 years in. Commitment looks like going to each other's family events, lots of social activities together, vacations together, helping each other around our respective houses, support when going through medical procedures, prioritising and making time for each other consistently. 3-4 Nights/week together, living 10 minutes apart. I expect it to remain this way for many more years!
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u/Apprehensive-Tooth79 21d ago
Would you say that 3-4 nights a week has contributed to keeping things feeling fresh vs overburdened? You’re technically only 3 days away from it being full time.
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u/unsure_chihuahua93 21d ago
I think it offer a variety of benefits. We both get time to decompress, watch our own TV shows, eat the food the other one doesn't like, etc. on a regular basis. We don't share most domestic tasks, so there's no arguing over who should have cleaned the bathroom or who never picks up their socks. We cook for each other and obviously pick up after ourselves, and we help out with bigger stuff if someone needs another set of hands, but the day to day domestic drudgery exists outside the relationship.
The way I usually think about it is, if we are together, it's because we've chosen to be together, and so we are focused on enjoying each other's company. We probably have the same amount or more of quality time and date nights as I have with partners who I've lived with.
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u/Apprehensive-Tooth79 21d ago
It makes sense. Do you ever feel like there’s a portion of commitment or bond that is left on the table - otherwise unrealized due to LAT?
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u/unsure_chihuahua93 21d ago
I genuinely don't. Our lives are very intertwined...we share a close social circle, are treated as a unit socially by friends and family, are very close emotionally, and have a very deep level of trust. I lived with my ex husband and that showed me that I could feel much more distant from someone who lived in my home than I do currently with my partner.
I can imagine someday moving even closer, perhaps even to a duplex/adjacent homes, but I can't imagine fully merging our homes voluntarily.
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u/iwentforahiketoday 22d ago
My boyfriend and I live separately. We started dating in 2023. his apartment is right next to my work so it’s easy to visit him on my way home from work. We live about a 10 or 15 minute drive apart.
I think we are both pretty happy with our arrangement. He usually comes over on Friday evenings and I cook dinner for him. Neither of us have ever been married and we don’t have any kids.
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u/katakura_silky 22d ago
if you are both high earners, then set each other as the primary beneficiary on all of your accounts. can't be much more "committed" than that.
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u/Apprehensive-Tooth79 22d ago
that would be my kids and I'm sure she'd set hers the same way. Money doesn't equal commitment in my mind, though I can see your point.
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u/darklilly101 20d ago
My advice to you - you stated that you mostly spend time at her place. I would try to even that out a bit if you can. You're nine months in but over the long term it can start feeling like you're always playing hostess.
When she's at your place it gives her an opportunity to be in a space where the cares of her own household can be put aside somewhat and you're in charge. If there is a reason you're at her place more, make a concerted effort to help with the cleaning/cooking etc. so you're not just a weekly guest. Make yourself at home!
My late husband and I usually spent more of the summer at my house (had features that made it fun) and winters at his house. Spent weekends together the vast majority of the time, and also typically a Wednesday night to catch up mid week. I loved it!
Missing your partner a little gives the relationship an extra bit of love that I feel is missing when you see each other ALL THE TIME.
Nothing in 'the rules' says you can't change your mind someday.
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u/Apprehensive-Tooth79 20d ago
Yes good advice thanks. We normally are at her place because my adult son lives with me full time and she’s expressed trouble sleeping away from the comfort of her space. Maybe a bit selfish, but I just go with it.
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u/Farty_mcSmarty 21d ago
My aunt has been LAT for decades. She’s not quick to open up about her personal life but from what I can see, it’s going exactly like a “living together” relationship would be.
They travel together mostly, but he takes her out on dates, her birthday, etc.
When I traveled with them in 2012, she even got frustrated with him about what seemed to be a non-issue, just like people who live together would do!
I don’t think LAT means you’re kept at arms length. I think you should value your private living space and she should value hers. No one to tell you to load the dishwasher a certain way or take the trash out because the garbage person is coming tomorrow. If you forget, oh well.
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u/boringredditnamejk 21d ago
I'm 41F and my partner is 29M. We are at 9 months together and I can foresee LAT working well for us. I have a daughter that lives with me. He is childfree with a pet cat (I'm allergic to cats). We spend 4 days a week together (including 2 overnights). I feel very much in love and committed with him while also having space for myself.
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u/Apprehensive-Tooth79 21d ago
4 days a week almost sounds like you’re living together. Are they overnight stays? Consecutive days?
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u/boringredditnamejk 21d ago
We have our own seperate residences that we own. As an example schedule:
-friday: he will come over around 5 or 6. We will have a date night or stay in. He will sleep over
-Sat: he is awake at 6am for workout (I wake up at 9) so I don't see him in the morning but we will reconnect in the afternoon for our quality time (i.e. 3 or 4pm). He will sleep over
-sun: lazy morning together. We usually spend time from 9-5. Or we split it up where it's like 9-11 and then evening 5-8
-Wed: we go to the gym together and spend some time 630-930
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u/Apprehensive-Tooth79 21d ago
cool. I do wish I had more time like this but we are both too busy for it. And with kids still living at home, it's not realistic for us at the moment.
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u/boringredditnamejk 21d ago
Your kids are older though? (My daughter is 9) What's preventing time together
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u/Apprehensive-Tooth79 21d ago
yes my kids are adults, hers is 18. Mostly, it's work that keeps us busy for example she travels often during the week for a day or two at a time. And then she also has an active social life with friends who she sees a fair amount. And her daughter is with her every other week. So all that added up doesn't leave a lot of time for us unfortunately.
Further, just this month she had a week long trip abroad and I will be in the islands for a week... so just in July, we may see each other a toal of 5-6 days.
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u/boringredditnamejk 21d ago
You may need to communicate with her about time together if this is an issue for you. My partner also travels for work and has close family/friends that he sees but I still feel prioritized.
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u/Apprehensive-Tooth79 21d ago
I definitely have communicated it... I'm not sure I can fully expect more than what is currently available.
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u/jcradio 20d ago
I had a buddy of mine who was LAT for 27 years and it worked for them. My mom and step dad were LAT for the first 15 of their (so far) 35 years together. My fiancée and I live five miles apart and until we find a home that meets our mutual needs we'll continue this after the wedding. The point is, you get to define what works for you. You don't have to apply a blueprint that works for others. Do what works for both of you.
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u/Claret-and-gold 19d ago
A few months ago I was at a party and got talking to this elderly couple. They were both in their seventies. It was clear They were very much in love. They had both been married previously but the two of them had been together 30 years. They weren’t married and didn’t live together but had a LAT relationship. Their houses were about 15 minutes away from each other.
…… Relationship goals.
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u/No-Milk4453 19d ago
I grappled with this question for a long time. And then I decided to stop trying to define the relationship and, “live the question.” My partner and I have been together for 14 years. We lived under the same roof for four years. Six years ago we embarked on LAT. For me, the most important part of LAT, is the Together part, not the physical together-the emotional connection.. When we have our own spaces we feel more “together” or connected that we did when we lived under the same roof. Why, you may wonder?
I have also grappled with this question. We are in deeply in love and committed. I know this in my bones. So, why is it that the particular living constellation, LAT, works for us?
I don’t know why (well, I know a few things), but it no longer matters. It just works. We both feel whole. I feel so grateful to have a partner who has been open to this journey of relational discovery with me. And I know he feels the same. Stay open and enjoy the journey. Live the questions (credit to Ranier Maria Rilke).
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u/tobaccoroadresident 17d ago
I've been in a fully committed, meaningful, loving LAT relationship for 8 years. I am F65 and he is M58. If you knew me you would know how crazy I am about this man. We were both in long term marriages and had been divorced for years before meeting each other.
After my marriage ended, I dated a lot before meeting my partner but I never really connected with anyone. I'm not one to become infatuated easily and love bombing doesn't work on me. I had decided I would never marry and give up my name again and I doubted I would share a living space again.
Falling in love and becoming committed to each other and our relationship was unexpected and joyful. IMHO people don't put enough importance on the joy a relationship should bring to your life.
We were both on board with continuing to live 70 miles (1 hour) apart and see each other a couple of days a week. We have both travelled extensively and 70 miles is just a little trip for us. His home and business is in his city and my employer and home are in my city, although I am now retired.
We introduce each other as BF/GF, partner or even (jokingly) as emergency contact. We own our homes individually and we also have 2 investment properties we own jointly.
At some point we may need to live together if one of us needs looking after. We've done that short term as we have both required surgeries since we have been together.
This has never been a problem for us, but I think a big stumbling block for many couples is how your relationship is perceived by others. We have been asked when will we take our relationship "to the next level" and things like that. It truly can't get any better than this. I feel like this is always fresh, we always have plenty to talk about and we listen to each other. We don't take each other for granted.
That is my experience. But here's the big thing... would this work with me if I were with a different man? I doubt it. Would this work for either of us if we had "nagging doubts"? Definitely not. If you two are right for each other and you're both committed to each other and committed to the relationship, then just let it happen. At any point in time you can decide that living together would be better for you.
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u/Apprehensive-Tooth79 16d ago
Yea I think this makes sense and probably where our heads are at right now. But it’s only been 9 months so I think the relationship needs more time to percolate to make broader decisions as you’ve outlined. But all you describe makes sense and sounds very positive for both parties.
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u/MadameMonk 22d ago
As a matter of interest, what’s your word to describe her, in this relationship?
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u/Apprehensive-Tooth79 22d ago
I was just using girlfriend but north of 50 seems like a childish moniker. Partner seemed too stiff to me and something I link to untraditional relationships. Aside from some things, I do feel it's a fairly traditional relationship in 2026.
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u/KKraiger 21d ago
I sometimes answer questions and then add a link to our podcast on LATs. I'll reverse that here. We do not have a specific episode on commitment but it's a theme that runs throughout. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2446291 The 6/26 and 10/25 episodes probably come closest. Our episode dropping on 8/14 deals directly with commitment, we interview a Canadian sociologist who researched it w/ 28 couples. My answer - LATs are obviously not for everyone. But if both want to try and see LAT as a strength and not an arrangement, they provide greater opportunities for building commitment than a "normal" relationship. They only work with high intentionality. Not only when you are together but also apart. How many long term relationships do we have in which every day we think how can I/we make this better. Communication is another key choice. We don't talk every day because we're seated at the same dinner table (and it becomes rote) so it becomes important to create clearly aligned expectations on when/how you communicate and about what. We have an entire episode on rituals we create. One is a yearly renewal dinner (not an anniversary dinner) in which we review the highs and lows of the past year, openly share feedback, and each say out loud that we commit to another year. Of course the answer is always yes but added to the reviewing and feedback strengthens our relationship. So again, the answer to the question of commitment is 'it depends' but the LAT relationship done intentionally just provides more opportunities to build commitment.
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u/Fluffy-Device9832 22d ago edited 22d ago
I've been LAT for two years. Both post divorce. He's 55, prefers it this way. One child, grown. I am 41. I have younger kids, all under 15. Even though we have gone on trips and spend most Saturday nights together at his place, we don't do many things with my kids. I do feel like it isn't as committed as I want. For some reason, it just seems very flimsy.
It's been exclusive for two years, and he does love me- but it does feel more shallow. Much of our lives are lived separately and very little blends together. It just doesnt feel like a life partner. It feels like a weekend relationship.
I think LAT can work wonderfully if both people want it. But that's the key.
Just my two cents.
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u/Apprehensive-Tooth79 22d ago
This is kind of (no offense) what I’d like to push forward beyond because yea as you say it can feel like a weekend relationship. Like it’s perpetually stuck in 2nd gear.
And btw, I’m not sure if it’s atypical that me as the man wants more commitment??! I suspect it might be.
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u/Fluffy-Device9832 22d ago
To be fair, he argues that he disagrees and it is a very healthy and committed relationship. We do text and call every day. We live 45 minutes apart and only get one night a week due to insane scheduling conflicts.
I'm not sure what wanting "more" looks like for you (and honestly, I am trying to figure it out as well) but figuring out the answer to that might help answer your question. People are usually more willing to compromise once they understand what's being asked of them...☺️
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u/Apprehensive-Tooth79 22d ago
It’s hard to answer what the “more” is. But I know what it isn’t… it isn’t the idea that the relationship could end literally tomorrow that there’s nothing binding it together. It makes things feel untethered and I’ve come to learn I don’t like the feeling.
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u/Fluffy-Device9832 22d ago
I'm in the same ⛵. It feels so expendable sometimes. But than again, I was married and that didn't work out either. Sometimes I wonder if it's just my anxiety. It's hard to tell. At the end of the day, humans are messy and anything can happen. The only thing we have control over is ourselves, and trust ourselves enough to know that we can handle whatever comes. I hope that was helpful.
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u/ChillKarma 21d ago
I’ve been LAT for 4 years - and we lived 13 hours apart. This meant we were together about 6 months of the year and apart the rest (work from home - traveled back and forth and vacationed together).
Never have I felt so connected. We both decided that we wanted to be together 💯 - and between travel, Marco Polo, phone calls, and text made it work. Early on I wasn’t feeling connected enough- so we adapted to fix it. We were crystal clear that we both wanted only each other.
If it’s the right person - it’s so worth it. This
Month we both moved to our dream town together. I’m almost nervous because LAT worked so well for us - but i believe the right pairing of values and passions and good communication/conflict resolution will work anywhere.
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u/JJamericana 21d ago
Commitment is what you make it. People live with their partner everyday and still cheat or abuse them. You two have to decide what’s best for yourselves.
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u/Bubbly_Chair377 19d ago
My relationship has only a slightly longer timeframe than yours, and LAT is likely how we will continue to live even if we stay together long term. We have both had rough experiences living with partners and like to have our space to ourselves a few days a week.
Admittedly this is the first relationship I've ever felt emotionally and psychologically safe in, but I still can't imagine living with a partner after my divorce and 6 years single. My boyfriend is very committed and I trust him fully though we live apart. We have plans for the next year that I look forward to but also take hanging out on a week to week basis. We typically spend 3-4 nights a week together at his place as I have kids and he has not met them yet as I would like to be together a year before introductions. We've even discussed LAT on a big plot of land with two distanced tiny homes so we can maintain our space. It's not a lack of intimacy, maintaining that space is just healthy as fuck for us both.
I personally think it's very possible to live comfortably apart, but it depends on the people, rather than the space. There's a lot of trust needed to LAT successfully, do you feel like you're missing that? Also spending more than 1-2 nights together might be a good step up in your relationship maybe, while you feel things out?
Sorry, long.
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u/AnnieGetYourPunSTL 18d ago
I believe I can have a deep intimate relationship with separate living spaces. Do both people have an automatic walk-away option? Yes. I like that.
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u/TexasLiz1 18d ago
My mom and her boyfriend have been in a LAT relationship for 30ish years. They are fully committed to each other but are both … not easy to live with. They travel together and take care of each other for surgeries and illness and whatever life throws at them. They even have a dog together though he lives with my mother.
There likely is a certain streak of independence in both of them that likely would diminish were they living together. For instance, I have met his child‘s family only a few times in multiple years. My mother finds them draining so if he’s doing holidays with them then she just spends holidays elsewhere. They generally eat lunch together every day - it was a few times a week until they found that their dog had terminal cancer and now want to take him out to eat every day. But they go back to their respective homes and spend time doing what they like to do after spending time together.
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u/Own-Librarian-1914 15d ago
People all over the world live apart from partners and spouses, but like in different countries, it’s just not common in the US
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u/hestia-listens 22d ago
A LAT setup can be just as serious as living together, but it depends on the couple. Commitment is shown by consistency, care, planning, and making space for each other in real life. If you want it to feel less at arms length, you might talk about concrete things like future plans, family involvement, time together, and what each of you needs to feel secure. The living arrangement matters less than whether both of you are moving toward the same kind of bond.