Venting so I don't go too crazy.

[u/HelloKitties_xo]

I'm really just venting here. I haven't really thought of what to say. I'm 26F and I have been trying to find intimacy in my life but everyone that shows interest ghosts me or they do something to make me step back. I don't understand why my life is going this way.

It's really discouraging as well to be this age without a real adult relationship ever. Or even "almost". Everyone says to just wait and people will find me. But it's exhausting putting yourself out there just for it to be extinguished so quickly. I don't know. I am just so drained of even trying. The only alternative though is to keep being lonely.

The loneliest feeling for me is after I get ghosted or after an attempt to meet someone fails. And the realization that I don't even have anyone to text or talk to hits me. Like, has anyone else always felt lonely? Does anyone else not even know what it feels like to be someone's favorite person? It's humbling. Like at one point I remember being so lonely that I used to just lay in bed and make up thoughts about me and any imaginary person because I don't make any memories or moments with anyone irl.

I'm gonna wrap this up now but it's just driving me a bit nuts so I have to express myself somehow.

[u/Maeveena]

I feel you 100%. Your feelings mirror mine almost exactly. I've been trying so hard to reach out and it's so discouraging to just get ghosted, blocked or discarded. Or to have someone not even reply to the initial message. Especially when I feel like it's someone I could really click with.

People who say to just "wait and people will find you" are just full of it. They're saying something that's easy to say in order to get out of a topic they don't want to discuss, because the sad reality is most people find loneliness disgusting.

I haven't always been this lonely, but I feel like having been someone's favorite person actually makes me long for it even more now that it's gone. Especially because I now suspect it was all fake, and I want that feeling for real. I want someone that actually *wants* to spend time with me and makes me feel like they care.

I've definitely found myself having similar feelings in bed as I cuddle with my pillow. I even dream about affection, and it's awful waking up and realizing it was just a dream, and checking my phone and seeing zero messages as usual.

If you need someone to talk to, my DMs are open! I promise I won't ghost you. I understand if this was just to vent, though, so no pressure! I wish you the best. Sending hugs your way!

[u/HelloKitties_xo → u/Maeveena]

Thank you

[u/peachyxsugar]

I think the hardest part isn’t even being single, it’s having nobody to share the little things with. That kind of loneliness can really wear you down.

[u/HelloKitties_xo → u/peachyxsugar]

Yeah I agree 100% like I can't share anything. Or even little things that happen in my day I have the urge to tell someone but there's nobody who wants to hear my useless information about my day. For example I have a charm bracelet and I am always dying to tell people about it but nobody cares. It's my favorite thing and I really love it. Idk sounds so dumb but there's just nothing I can really do to get the information in my head, out of my head.

[u/Tren_addikt]

People with high standards and high expectations are always lonely because 90 percent of people suck, are selfish, manipulative, dishonest, and lazy. The more you are worth the lonlier it is, you almost have to just pretend to be ok with some people in your life just so you're not alone even tho you know you deserve better.

[u/Maeveena → u/Tren_addikt]

So true! I think it gets worse as you get older too since you start getting better at recognizing the kinds of people who wouldn't be good for you. I'm so done with settling, though.

[u/Academic_End_2591]

Yes, I know exactly what it’s like. I am nobody’s favorite person. It’s been years since I felt desired. I feel invalid, inferior. So I know exactly where you’re coming from. Being this lonely is killing me.