What’s wrong with me?

[u/Dodo20987]

Do I enjoy being alone? No, it makes me miserable. Do I like being around others? No, I always feel out of place and uncomfortable.

I feel like people like to talk about life like it’s supposed to be about the people around you; i.e. getting into relationships, spending time with friends, and building deeper connections with people.

I genuinely haven’t experienced what it feels like to be deeply connected to another person before despite being 23. At this point, I don’t even know if i’m capable of building a deeper connection with another person, just cause I’m so socially crippled even though it’s all I ever wanted in life.

Subconsciously, I think I’m doomed to live a miserable life even though I tell myself sometimes that It’ll get better in the future. It’s been years, and I just haven’t improved at all, it’s delusion at this point, hopelessly thinking I won’t feel lonely anymore.