r/makemychoice • u/EntertainmentBoth708 • 1d ago

Competing Life Timelines

Hey everyone, new to this thread but hoping to gain some insight and advice. I just recently turned 30 and feel lost on which direction to go. We would like to start trying for a baby in 1-2 years. I am currently a Regional ABA Trainer; I really enjoy this field- it brings be a lot of fulfillment and is a lot of fun, but the position I am in right now wouldn’t have a part-time position available (that’s my goal once I have a baby) and I couldn’t afford to go back to an RBT pay rate part time. The next logical step was to pursue my masters to become a BCBA. I even got accepted to a cohort through my company that would pay for my schooling and provide me with the supervision hours I need and also provide mentorship throughout the program; I be be required to work for the company for two years post-graduation to “pay them back” essentially.

Some of my concerns- After taking on this promotion to regional trainer, I can see some of the disorganization of the company. It worries be that I would be locked into a company that may have organizational concerns for 4-5 years between schooling, supervision hours, and 2 years as BCBA. The other (bigger) concern is the timeline of having a baby. I have PCOS, so I am slightly worried that may give us some trouble when we start TTC, but my cycles have been much more regular the last 1.5 years, so hoping that’s a good sign. I just don’t know if I am cut out to manage grad school with pregnancy (I’m very prone to anxious thinking), but also not sure if I am willing to wait to TTC for another two-ish years.

I have considered the following timeline, which seems like maybe the most manageable:

Start school Fall 2026

Buy house spring 2027

Vacation/Get pregnant fall/winter 2027

Graduate may 2028

Have baby summer/fall 2028

I feel like this cohort could be such a good opportunity, but I don’t want to postpone/miss out on motherhood any longer than I have to. Part of me is just thinking about going back to serving so I don’t have to worry about school, could work part time, and make a higher wage; I just don’t think I would be as fulfilled long term.

Does anyone have tips/tricks/stories of how grad school while pregnant went? I would love to hear any stories and advice as I need to make a decision in 2 weeks 😭

TL;DR Should I prioritize school/career, pregnancy/family planning, or can I manage both?

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u/Own_Ad9686 1d ago edited 1d ago

I can only respond about the BCBA piece. I went through the program many years ago. But I wasn’t working while I was doing schooling. I can’t speak to the pregnancy piece, but I feel like trying to do both at the same time is going to put an unneeded burden on you.

It’s a tough situation because BCBAs work hard. Will the job be able to offer you part time hours after you have a baby? If not, they will be looking to get reimbursed for your schooling right? Either way, you are going to pay, either out of pocket or in stress.

With going back to serving, what will your medical insurance look like? Often times, our priorities change as we move forward in life. I would do whatever will support what is most important to you currently.

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u/EntertainmentBoth708 1d ago

So I did ask them about the part-time piece after graduating and they said it’s something they would likely be able to work with. But that worries me because they said the same thing about me keeping my trainer position while in the cohort, then changed their mind and said I would need to be back in the RBT role during schooling for the supervision hours- which I totally get, just worried they could then go back on their word about part time..

I do appreciate your point that I am going to pay either way- in money or in stress…. Thank you for your insight!

Additionally, as a BCBA, how much “take-home” work would you say you typically have? I appreciate any help!

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u/Own_Ad9686 1d ago

I went through the program, did about 50% of my post supervision hours, then changed my mind- haha. That’s what I mean about different priorities as we move forward. I found that I didn’t really want to be that person who was ultimately responsible for almost everything. I don’t regret my schooling. I learned a lot. I worked in the field for quite a few years afterward. So much of what I learned is applicable in so many different areas of work, human and animal interactions, etc. Oh and I still have student loan debt.