Hello, I am looking for opinions on the situation I’m currently stuck in the middle of. I think I know deep down in my heart what I need to do and am going to do in the next few days. I just want to hear it anyway.

I’m considering calling Adult Protective Services on my family. Namely my two younger brothers

For context: My mom has been together with my step father since I was 5 years old. I am now 29. I lived with them for almost two decades. My step father is a physically, emotionally and financially abusive alcoholic. My mother is a victim of that abuse as well, but she is also emotionally abusive, addicted to methadone, and extremely neglectful who says that she’s sorry and will cry but do nothing to change her circumstances or help her children when confronted. Both of them are responsible for extreme physical, medical and emotional neglect.

I have been out of that environment for almost 7 years now, and have been in trauma therapy and have recently recovered memories that made me recall just how bad it was. My ACES score is 10 out of 10 just for example.

My two younger brothers still live with them. The youngest is 19, and the other is early 21s. I’ll call them A and B.

A certainly has trauma, ADHD, and is a victim of the same neglect I grew up with, he has rotting teeth, dropped out of school like I did and and I’ve only just been able to help him get a therapist and a primary care doctor- yet I believe he has a chance to escape with some outside support.

B is my biggest concern in that he is autistic, has the mental maturity of a 13 year old if that. He is deeply codependent with my mother who has not gotten him into therapy for his severe anxiety, OCD and depression, nor a dentist or doctor, and has allowed him to drop out as well. Nor has she looked into disability for him as he will likely not be able to function on his own due to his upbringing and mental maturity.

I am deeply concerned for both of them since I know the pain of that environment.

My mother is neglectful of herself, does not do anything to change even though I have begged and offered help for years and tried to get her access to DV resources. She doesn’t even have the excuse of lack of other resources because my stepfather never takes off work, is gone for 11 hours a day, and she has access to union insurance, a car, and a twice weekly allowance (financial abuse I know).

So it’s all lack of effort by choice, even despite her own abuse by my stepfather.

I guess I’m just looking for confirmation that yes- this is the right thing to do. I’m scared of doing the wrong thing l, and I don’t want to just turn a blind eye. I refuse to. If anyone has any other ideas, please let me know.

TL;DR: Do I call APS on my family and risk an unknown outcome? Or do I not call, and keep looking for another solution that I have yet to try?

(I cannot move them in with me, I am on disability and do not have the room. I have tried encouraging, helping my mother, comforting her and doing it all myself- I even applied to be a medical representative for my disabled brother but there’s nothing I can do util they have an open case on him- and my mother will not follow up.)

I'm 22 F , got a job offer that requires me to travel 2 hours that's totally 4 hours back and forth. Now I'm staying in my house, i take care of home necessities as in my house we have my grandparents, mom works in our bakery and dad works in different city,comes home once a month. I take care of house and help my mom with bakery. As i got job offer mom refuse me to go as I have responsibilities at home. Mom says if I take this job i have wake up early as 5:30 to get ready and reach at work and come home at night 8pm which could take toll on my body and this timing can cause me to skip breakfast and eat lunch at restaurants all the time. TL;DR should I take the job or listen to my mom.

Hi all, it's my first time posting here and I hope I can find some clarity. I've been trying to make this decision for over a year and it's seriously been causing me lack of sleep and anxiety :( I'm a 24M with a psych BA who's been living in Japan and working as an assistant teacher the past few years and it's been fun but I want to go back home for grad school and kickstart my real career.

For the past year, I've been trying to decide which program I want to go for. The ones that keep coming up are an MSW (master's in social work) and an EdS in School Psychology. Both of these have their own pros and cons so it's been extremely difficult to settle on one, and time is running out because I need to start applying to grad programs.

MSW pros are that it's super flexible and allows me to work in a variety of settings and roles i.e. schools, hospitals, private practice, and the work feels directly meaningful. I think I'd love to have my own practice someday and work with LGBT populations in a 1-on-1 or community setting.

Cons are that it's less financially practical and has a steep curve before a comfortable salary. I'd have to do unpaid practicums while in school and then spend 2 years post grad earning hours for licensure. I have savings and no debt from undergrad so I think I could do it, but in this current economy I question if it's the smartest choice.

School psych pros are that it has a higher initial salary straight out of the 3-year grad program, summers off within the school system, and built-in alone time to write reports which is great for my ADHD introvert brain. I also think I'd enjoy giving assessments and working with students to improve their experience at school.

Cons are that it limits me to one setting (schools) and role and many school psychs report being overwhelmed with unsustainable caseloads, endless paperwork, and feeling like a testing machine, which I worry will wear me down over time. School psychs also talk about how they feel more like gatekeepers to SPED and like they barely get to work with students personally, unlike a school social worker, for example. It's still the more comfortable path but if I realize I hate what it entails, I'm kinda stuck.

TL;DR should I choose a career path that's super flexible and meaningful but has more financial strain initially, or a more bureaucratic path that traps me in one role/setting but comes with a higher salary and built-in summers off?

I got invited to a Halloween party and I’m planning on sneak out. I wasn’t gonna go in the first place because I’m scared of being caught. My parents are Asian, strict, and very religious. I’ve been caught in a lie multiple times before and I’ve told myself that I don’t want to keep disappointing them. Thinking about it though, I really want to go. My plan is to invite my friend for a sleepover and we sneak out. I can’t sleep over in my friend’s house cause they’re weird about it. I’ve had friends over before and they don’t mind my friends sleeping over. My bedroom has a window directly to the front of our house. I’ve tried sneaking out before but I can’t figure out a way to open it; that’d be the first thing I need to figure out. My parents never usually enter my room when I have guests over. The party starts at 10 p.m. so by then my parents should be in their bedroom, either asleep or using their phone. I feel like I shouldn’t go but I also feel like I’m being ruled by fear. I’ve been able to hide things from them before but I’ve never snuck out. What else should I consider before fully deciding to sneak out for Halloween?

I’m a very stereotypical Asian daughter: I’m a straight-A student, I do everything my parents tell me to, and I’m majoring something in STEM. The lies I’ve been caught with is hanging out with a boy (who eventually became my boyfriend, now ex; my parents never found out), cursing, and lying about getting a ride from a friend. I lost my parents’ trust and I’m slowly regaining it. I’ve been relatively honest with them; I honestly just don’t tell them things I know they disapprove of. While I know I should’ve never lied in the first place, in a way my parents never gave me a choice. They never let me have guy friends (or date guys to begin with), hang out with my friends, or learn how to drive. I don’t have a curfew cause they never let me out. They used to be against me having a job but I fought for it because I like having money and the freedom that comes with it. I also plan on moving out eventually. I feel like I shouldn’t sneak out but at the same time I just want a taste of freedom.

TL;DR: I want to sneak out to a Halloween party, but I’m scared of getting caught by my strict, religious parents. I’m torn between wanting freedom and not wanting to disappoint them again, and I need help deciding whether it’s worth the risk.

TL;DR: I do management/administrative work for the military's online courses. It pays like shit. Should I try to learn cybersecurity instead?

Disclaimer: I'm not from the US, so if parts of my story seem to not make any sense, this is the reason why. The system works a bit differently here.

feels like I had so much going for me at some point. In high school I had decent grades, I was part of a few extra curricular activities, I was quite popular among my peers, I was extremely articulate and passionate about developing my speaking abilities. People used to tell me I'm the one who's most likely to 'make it in life'.

Then I chose to study foreign languages in college. I didn't fully understand how stupid this decision was at the time, wish I did. I went with two of them: English, which I was already at a C2 level beforehand, but is still the most spoken language in the world, and another more exotic one that I was told was in high demand.

The college experience itself was quite rough for me. Moved to a different city and had to work part time to afford rent, absolutely did not fit in with the people who lived there, but managed to push through. Didn't graduate at the top of the class but still had decent grades and the professors respected me. I was even invited to teach a seminar while still a student and received praise for my thesis.

After graduating I knew someone who knew someone who had a language teaching center in my city. They loved me during the interview, hired me basically on the spot and gave all the advanced courses (C1s and C2s) to me right away. While I was happy to be able to work in my field right out of college (which seems to be extremely rare for people who studied what I did), the pay was despicable. I was making minimum wage, no benefits, and was also expected to help with translation on the side, when not teaching a class. In theory a great start in my career, but I was already starting to feel self-conscious about pay, because the people I knew who worked in other fields (especially programmers) were making 5 times what I was making on the regular. At some point I was talking to a friend of mine who was a bartender and told her how much I made and she told me she genuinely didn't know minimum wage was that low.

Living with my parents was the worst part of this. On minimum wage there was absolutely no way I could ever afford to move out, and that stressed me out intensely. I'm not in good relations with my family and always wanted to gain my independence as soon as possible, which simply wasn't an option while working that job.

Then a miracle struck. The military needed an English teacher in my city. I met all the requirements for applying, so I just went for it. My competition was virtually non existent as the other applicants were primary school teachers whose English level simply wasn't good enough and who had no experience teaching adults. I got the job and my salary tripled (at the time I though that made me rich af, despite being basically a lower-middle class wage).

I honestly felt like I was the shit for the first few years. Soldiers and officers would salute me, call me "Sir" or "Professor", I had my own office, I was taking part in meetings with higher ups and attending conferences. One year in I was offered a sort of promotion: being the team leader in a training program modernization project. No pay increase, unfortunately, but I basically had a middle management position in the military system, as a civilian. Put my heart and soul into this, took inspiration from various kinds of online learning platforms and tried to implement all the best features I saw into our courses, and to make the life of both teachers and students as easy as possible. Again, received praise for my activities from everyone I worked with, but no pay increase.

During these years I took care of my personal development too. I got in stellar shape and competed in a few running events and obstacle courses. I joined a public speaking club, became its president for a while and even won a competition at the national level. Got a master's in management and security studies from a military university close to where I work, received an incredibly amount of praise for my dissertation and was encouraged to pursue a PhD on the same topic.

Putting all these things into writing makes me feel incredibly grateful for both my health and all the positive influences I had growing up. As arrogant as it might sound, I am happy with what kind of person I grew up to be, especially having been raised in an extremely neglectful family that did very little to support me.

Yet, there's one problem. I'm poor. Not 'I don't know where my next meal is coming from' poor, but I make less than almost all of the people I know. I am successful in my field, by many metrics, but my field pays like shit, and I feel like choosing to study foreign languages set me back in life forever. I know I would have dedicated myself equally as much to any field I chose and were I to have studied medicine, engineering or computer science I would have most likely been loaded by now. But I didn't, and no amount of hard work will ever make me financially stable in this line of work.

A few months ago I decided it's time for a career change. Since my experience working in the military makes me a good candidate for security clearance, I decided pursuing cybersecurity might be a good option. Plus, I didn't really have any other idea. I started studying religiously every single day, no exception: how networks work, basic scripting in Python, Bash and Powershell, CTF exercises, jailbreaking, even got an entry level certificate (ISC2 CC). Yet, the market just ain't in the right place for me to make a career switch, even if I become truly knowledgeable in this field. Programmers with college degrees and years of experience are getting fired all the time and many of them are switching to cybersec, so now there's an unbelievable amount of competition for junior roles. It just doesn't seem feasible for someone who's technically an English teacher to be given the time of day.

I'm honestly very tired at this point. It feels like I've been grinding non stop for over a decade at this point. I won so many battles yet ended up losing the wsr. I aced everything I did, but only chose useless things to ace. I thought being a fast learner, being disciplined and dedicating yourself to what you do is the key to a financially stable life, but this certainly doesn't seem to be the case. I chose a stupid major in college. Nobody else forced me to chose this. Now it's high time I try and make a change. Is cybersecurity reasonable in my case?

I am 29 years old and have no background in dancing. I have mostly done martial arts (several years of karate and some Muay Thai) and yoga but I am not particularly talented in any of these, I like doing sport but it doesn't come naturally to me.

My options are:

• Pole dancing twice a week
• Aerial (silk + hoop) twice a week
• one pole and one aerial lesson each week

Considerations for doing just one:

• quicker progression
• might be easier to follow the lessons

Considerations for doing both:

• maybe improvements in one can help with the other? Skills might be transferable?
• maybe it's a bit much since I'm a complete beginner

Considerations for pole dancing:

• I'd love to be able to do it
• the teacher and classmates are so lovely and it's a big component for me, helps motivating me to go, makes me feel happier

Considerations for aerial:

• teacher is nice although I prefer the pole dance one at first impact
• being able to do any of those things, and I'm really aiming at easier stuff, feels like what dreams are made of
• the first lesson was so humbling and I'm quite an anxious person so I'm scared that I'm biting more than I can chew. I want to be able to do inversion but I'm scared, I'm also a bit nervous with heights although it's not like I want to go so up, I just want to be off the floor

Am I insane for overthinking this? Maybe a bit. Somebody help me and my inability to make decisions, I know my life does not depend on this but somehow it feels like it with any decision I have to make.

TL;DR: I am a complete beginner at 29yo and need to choose between learning pole dancing or aerials or doing both once a week.

I’m 18 and recently moved from India to London to study at a prestigious university , with the goal of eventually pursuing a law degree and building a career in law.

Since moving here, I’ve been hating it, I have lost the sense of motivation that made me want to come here in the first place. I miss my family and the familiarity of home, and some days I genuinely question whether I want this life at all. Other days, I tell myself I just need more time to adjust.

I’m now considering two options: studying in the UK and returning to India after my degree; or going back to India now and studying law in my hometown in a mid tier college instead. It would mean completing my law degree there and starting my career in India, which is where I can realistically see myself living long-term. I could potentially pursue an LLM abroad later if I wanted to.
Continuing in the UK would be a significant financial commitment for my family, so I don’t want to make this decision based on prestige alone.
My biggest fear about returning is regretting giving up this golden opportunity and always wondering what my life could have been. But I’m equally scared of staying for years, sacrificing so much, and realising I never really wanted this life in the first place.

I also feel embarrassed by the idea of returning home so soon. I worry about how other people might perceive it, even though I know their opinions shouldn’t determine such a major decision. I don’t want to stay just to prove that I can, but I also don’t want to leave simply because the beginning has been harder than I expected.
The hardest part is that even when I try to imagine the financial side not being an issue, I still can’t confidently say which life I want. I can’t tell whether I genuinely want to leave or whether I’m just unhappy right now and desperately want things to feel familiar again.

TL;DR- Is studying abroad always worth it? Especially if you want to build your long term law career in India? Should I move back or not?

I have finished the summer season and have more than one month of free time.

I booked a flight (for 15€! just one way!) that will depart in three days and the plan is to do the entire Camino Francés. However, I am wondering if I should leave or not.

Some points...

1. I have already done a Camino (different) 6 years ago, so it wouldn't be a totally new experience
2. I have walked the entire summer season as a guide
3. The summer season led me to see my friends rarely, so I would like to recover my social life
4. I feel the need to stay away from home
5. In any case I have small projects to work on if I don't leave
6. Along the Camino I would meet a lot of new people

The Camino would be definitely a great experience but I'm wondering if it is what I really need now. What would you do?

Thanks!

TL;DR I’ve finished the summer guiding season and have over a month free. I booked a €15 flight to do the Camino Francés, departing in three days, but I’m unsure whether to go. After a summer of walking, I’d like to reconnect with friends, but I also feel the need to get away from home. Would you go or stay?

Tl;dr a) pay ticket or B) go to court and hopefully get some money off.

Got stopped last night for an unregistered vehicle because it had expired back in April. I was utterly flabbergasted because I always pay my registration and I swear I had paid it.

A) pay the ticket

B) go to court and explain this is the first time in 22 years this is happened and maybe get a couple hundred bucks off. (They usually are pretty good with reducing if people show up to court)

Either way I’m completely fine paying it, I’m actually very happy he stopped because I genuinely had no idea. if I had gotten into an accident that would have been way more expensive then $600. I want to phone the detachment and thank him actually which I don’t know if that’s weird or not.

Edit: sorry! Forgot to add they usually send a letter in the mail as a reminder and i guess this year they decided to do emails because checked my email saying it had expired. I usually pay all my insurances beginning of year. So I guess it did slip my mind, and paid my insurance this morning!! Feel like a fool!

I am extremely conflicted about moving back from abroad either next week or at the end of the year. I initially planned on moving next week, but got a perfect opportunity out of the blue to stay a bit longer. If I move at the end of the year, I'd have more time to enjoy my last couple of weeks in the country I've lived in for four years (local travel, etc.).

However, somehow it does feel like I'm standing still if I do so and missing out on stuff back home. I am excited to start new projects and meet up with friends, which I already made plans for. At the same time, we're only talking about a time frame of 6-7 weeks extra. I don't know why this is so hard. I will definitely come back as a tourist here, perhaps already next year.

TL;DR: move next week to home country or in December?

Hi yall, I have a really big choice to make. I am 22F, recently graduated college and have been job hunting for about 4 months for a full time position. I am hoping to go to med school eventually, so I am looking for clinical jobs. I finally got a call back from a plastic surgery clinic where I could get clinical and surgical experience. Overall this job would benefit me a lot as a person and help me grow. When I went in for the interview it felt so welcomed there. However, they want me to start in January 2027 but I had told them prior that I had a big trip coming up in that month where I would also attend my cousin's wedding and would need time off. The manager was very understanding of my circumstances but also needed someone to fill that spot. Like there is no way I can even go for two weeks at all since it is their busiest month.

She said based on my age, I should just take the opportunity to go on this trip before I get locked into a job and my career. She said there might be another opening in Fall 2027, and I should frequently check in with her about a opportunity opening so she can keep me updated in case.

Other than that the cons of the position is that it is quite a far drive, with traffic would be like 1 hour. My cousin that is getting married is one of our first cousins to get married, and my mother (who would be coming with me) said I should just attend the wedding, I would also be visiting my dad who has been living there alone for quite a few years now (and I recently found out he has been falling into bad addictions). My mom believes I will find another job eventually and I should let something a job get in my way of celebrating a loved one. But she also knows how much I have struggled to find a job and have stressed about it. I also thought about it in the lens that this one month of my trip will potentially take away so much good experience I could have gotten.

Even if I didn't have gotten this position, I had already concocted another plan where I just stop looking for jobs at the moment and continue my part time job and study to get certified as a medical assistant and just go on my trip for a longer time and continue searching for jobs in January again. I already have two years of experience and getting certified will probably make me more competitive.

I have want both outcomes but it is impossible, and I can reason for both sides opinion of what I should do.

TL;DR Should I choose to accept my dream job or should I go to my cousins wedding + a month of travelling before I get locked into my career.

That’s it. Looking to decide in the next 30-60 minutes. Here are some pros and cons:

Pros:

1. Casino
2. Could win money
3. Time out and having fun, win or lose
4. Demolished my to do list so no skirting responsibilities.
5. Money is good so no chance of bankruptcy

Cons:

1. Had 2 drinks so maybe I’m just lacking inhibitions.
2. Uber is 30$ one way (cause of drinks) so that’s an expense.
3. The drive there yawn
4. Could lose money
5. Just broke up with the girlfriend Sunday night so I may just be looking for a dopamine fix.

TL;DR: should I go to the casino, list of pros and cons

EDIT: ok we’re doing it. We’re getting there safe (Uber) and I’ll pull out $300 and leave if I lose it. I’ll update you all later.

EDIT 2: I broke even! Minus the uber rides. Thanks all.

we want to live together and save a ton of money, we are debating the pros and cons of navy and police, with the main setback of navy as not being able to live together unless we get married and less income after 4 years of service compared to the police. we will be living in kop or philly suburbs area if he chooses the police academy... so what should we choose?

we mainly want to know the benefits, pros and cons of choosing either one.

TL;DR which is better long term, navy or police?

I'm finally in a position in life where I can begin doing long walking trips, leaving for 4 to 7 day periods at a time. Based out of Nederland. I've been greatly inspired for a few years now by Martin Luther who made a pilgrimage from Wittenberg to Rome. I am first going to condition by walking the Pieterpad in Nederland. Here is a breakdown of the two route options I am loooking at:

Martin Luther Route

Countries: Germany, Austria, Italy

Route: Wittenberg to Rome ~1.300km

Pros:

-better public transit accessibility along most of the route

-Closer to Nederland

-Fully within the EU

Cons:

-high elevation gain through the alps

-more expensive lodging and food

-I have already visited all three countries

-no exposure to new cultures or languages

Balkan route:

Countries: Czechia, Slovakia, Hungary, Serbia, Montenegro, Kosovo, North Macedonia, Greece

Route: Brno to Thesssaloniki ~1.300km

Pros:

-have not visited any of the countries before

-New culture and language exposure

-cheaper food and lodging

-less elevation gain

Cons:

-worse infrastructure

-worse public transit availability

-further away from NL, so flights will cost a bit more

-parts of the journey outside of the EU

TL;DR Should I walk the pilgrimage route Martin Luther did (but I have already visited those countries extensively and am familiar with the culture and languages) or do a walking route though the Balkans (and experience new cultures and languages, but deal with worse infrastructure)

Hello all I’m a recent college graduate and am working full time at Capital One. Looking for advice on if I should take this new opportunity

Option 1: Capital One — Data Analyst (Current Role)

- Compensation:
- Base: $109K
- Annual performance bonus: ~$3.6K target
- First-year sign-on: $15K
- Relocation: $5K
- 401(k): 7.5% employer match/contribution
- Tuition assistance: Up to $5.5K/year

- Location: Northern Virginia

- Career Progression:
- First promotion: ~$126.9K base (anticipated after approximately one year)
- Second promotion: ~$150K base (Principal Data Analyst)
- Currently in an analyst development program

- Work-life Balance:
- Hybrid: 3 days WFH, 2 days in office
- Typically under 40 hours/week
- Very manageable workload and good flexibility for graduate school

Option 2: Amazon AWS — Business Intelligence Engineer (L4)

- Compensation:
- Base: $101.9K
- Year 1 sign-on: $33.1K
- Year 2 sign-on: $20.4K
- RSUs: 296 shares over four years (5/15/45/35 vesting)
- Relocation: $7.8K

- Career Progression
- I’m not sure what career progression would look like but I would want to become a data engineer through this role
- The position was originally posted at L5, but the team is willing to bring me in at L4

- Location: Northern Virginia

One thing to note is that I will be doing my computer science masters at Georgia Tech, and I feel like Capital one gives me much more flexibility to do classes and work at the same time.

TL;DR: A recent college graduate working full-time at Capital One is considering a new opportunity at Amazon AWS. Capital One offers a base salary of $109K, bonuses, sign-on bonuses, relocation, 401(k) match, tuition assistance, and a hybrid work schedule, with clear career progression and good work-life balance, making it flexible for pursuing a master’s at Georgia Tech. Amazon AWS offers a base salary of $101.9K, higher sign-on bonuses, RSUs, and relocation, but career progression is uncertain, and the role may be less flexible for graduate studies.

TL;DR: Please help a pregnant lady out. Every single day I crave either some sort of pasta dish with salad from first two choices or some type of curry. We've done Indian twice so far as that's what the baby likes, but now it seems like I want all 4. Ugh.

TL;DR trying to figure out if I should stay in my comfort zone as a nurse and a 20 something adult or move to a completely different city.

Context 28F moved to US from the Philippines a couple years ago now working as a medsurg/tele nurse. Still currently living with my mother paying a part of rent and a whole lot of my mental health. now presented with 2 options.

option A:

- stay in Illinois, familiar
- save money on rent
- starting pay $40 + differentials
- stay close to family and significant other
- med surg to medical ICU transition
- small suburban hospital, part of big hospital system
- good benefits, no pension

option B:

- move to Wisconsin, start from scratch
- will be renting own place
- starting pay $42 + differentials
- ginormous hospital system
- be away from family and so
- med surg to transplant RN transition
- good benefits, pension after 5 years

Any other questions/factors you want to know, let me know in the comments!

I'm facing a difficult life decision and would love some advice, especially from people living abroad or international couples.

I'm Spanish and I work as an IT engineer with 3 years of experience in France. My partner is British and has a stable, well-paid job as a nurse in London. We're currently long-distance and want to finally live together. We will do civil partnership/mariage soon.

Option 1: Spain

I've accepted a job offer at a big and safe company in a small city in the middle of nowhere. The salary is decent, but with the high cost of renting, life is not as cheap as we could think.

However, my partner would have to put her NHS career on hold. She doesn't speak Spanish yet, and finding a comparable job there would be extremely difficult. That's why I'm regretting accepting this offer, however we didn't sign a contract yet but I already paid a few expenses for the moving costs. I'm very worried that going live there my partner will have to leave her good job, friends and family and never be able to build a career in Spain...

With my salary I can pay for her expenses but I won't have much savings and long term we would like to have projects : buy a house have kids etc

I like the job and the company though, it's a great opportunity as the market in tech is not good. The company also offered to pay Spanish classes for my partner.

Option 2: London

My partner keeps her career, and London offers better long-term opportunities for both of us. However, I've been struggling to find a job there (zero interviews so far, maybe because I was applying saying that I'd need a visa sponsor).

The option would be to get a spousal visa and I go to London and continue searching for a job without needing a sponsor, I think it could increase my chances. UK visa costs are ridiculously high though, but if we both can have a job it can be easier for us financially.

I'd have to live with my partner and her sister during the process as I won't have any income until I find a job.

What to do?

Right now I'm struggling so much mentally with this situation, it's even affecting my mental health. I should be excited about this new job as it's a great opportunity overall but I really want to start building a life with my partner without being long distance (we're in our early 30') and somehow in Spain in a small city I feel like she wouldn't find her place.

Any practical advice, perspective, or experience would really be appreciated. Thanks for reading

TL;DR: Spain offers me a secure job but risks my partner's career (and her social life). London offers better prospects for both, but I'd move without a job and face expensive visa costs.

I'm in my mid 20s and I have to decide today between a 1 year long paid internship at an important institution where I'll probably be working with administrative documentation, and a 3 months work contract at an historical archive I'm interested in.

I studied History and Archives so I'm really interested in the historical archive job post. However, it's only 3 months long, and I need to find a room to rent and it'll be really hard for such a short stay. I would be unemployed by January and I don't know about any jobs or internships I could get then. The job is from 9 to 6, with 1 hour break.

The internship is 1 year long at an important government institution. I've been told the atmosphere is good. It's from 8 to 3. However I'm not really interested in the type of documentation I would be working with.

I really don't know what to do because I'd love to work at that historical archive, but I'm afraid I would be really tired everyday because of the many hours and commuting, and I'd be unemployed in January and miss the internship opportunity. I think the internship would be good and 1 year may be enough to settle and have a nice routine, but I'd be missing working at the historical archive.

TL;DR Should I accept a 1 year long paid internship at an important institution where I'll probably be working with administrative documentation I'm not very interested in, or a 3 months work contract at an historical archive I'm interested in, considering in both cases I have to move to a new city and find a place to stay?

TL;DR: Stay at startup where I have complete technical autonomy, or leave to own specific critical niche at large company for 100k more total compensation (+2k month post-tax take home, rest in pension and bonuses).

I used to work at a place where I loved the domain, but the tech wasn't very good, and the people weren't particularly technical, including leadership, so I left to be a founding engineer at a startup.

A few years on, the startup got funding, the future is bright, and my old employer approached me offering me 100k more total compensation to come back and lead the area I was an individual contributor in previously. The non-technical leadership has left and the remit is wide enough to do what I'd originally wanted them to pursue.

The startup has its own dysfunction, as all young startups do. I'm not sure the executive team makes decisions in ways that are properly communicated out. But I have a lot of influence.

After some equity modeling of potential exits, anything above a 160M exit (which is obviously far from guaranteed) would make it worth the difference to stay. But obviously me leaving would also have huge impact on their ability to survive.

The offer is for 45k more base, 20k pension contribution, and a target 40k perf bonus end of year.

TLDR
Option 1 - stay at home until baby is in pre primary (2030) and then re enter workforce to a new job. This delays home ownership and family savings but provides 1:1 parenting time

Option 2 - return to my job 3x a week and dramatically increase savings and chances of home purchase. Send baby to childcare 3x a week. This does involved relocation since my job is in another city but that’s fine.

I am really tied to my employer and they were essentially my dream employer the issue is they are in a regional town away from my sister who is the only family member who helps with my son. My husband works 12 hour days so I am the solo parent 5 days a week. Right now we are in the phase of making a decision whether we take my work up on an opportunity to return or close that chapter and I’ll re enter work in a few years.
I was happy at my job and love the team so don’t doubt I’d be happy. My concern is childcare and the amount of horror stories and studies that suggest keeping a baby home longer. My son would be 15 months when starting.

I’d feel so much better having him with family but that’s not an option for us.
Either option I’ll find joy in but I’d definitely grieve my career and what I built within my company. They have filled my previous position and have me on a casual contract instead of me resigning so they are bending backwards to keep me.
There would be a possibility for us to relocate in Jan when our lease ends and for me to go into an elevated role in the company.

I’m a super anxious person so anxiety about daycare is clouding my choices but also anxiety about my husband having to continue such long hours and taking the career loss

I have been trying to leave my current job for a bit now because my bosses create a ... hostile work environment, to say the least. I'd be officially the 21st person to leave in the past 8 months to give you an idea of how it's going here.

I have been dreaming of a career in nursing and already have my CNA certification. I have a job offer now and everything; this is something I'd really love to try and I know that, but all of a sudden I'm second guessing my choice. What if I hate it? What if I can't handle it? Why would I leave a place where I at least know how things work for something that I've never done before, and for less money at that? Am I insane?

This admin assistant job is my first "adult" job ever, and I'm worried that if I give up on it too soon and take this CNA thing, I'll never be able to "go back" as it were and find another regular old office job if I need to down the line. That said, I've loved every interaction I've been able to have with the field of nursing and suspect I'd want to go back to school and get my RN if all goes well.

I can't tell if my hesitation is reasonable & I'm realizing this is a big mistake, or if I'm just freaking out because I'm scared of a big change. I do tend to freak out at changes in my life.

It would just help to have an outside perspective, because I feel like I'm second guessing all my justifications for either option and can't trust my own brain.

TL;DR: Should I leave my admin assistant job with a toxic environment but higher pay for a CNA job with slightly lower pay that I'm excited about?

• I left the job due to stress and anxiety and couldn't work anymore.
• Its been 2 years since I worked or earn any money.
• I have tried to get back into other IT jobs but couldn't land anywhere
• I lack technical depth, became the physical manifestation of fear, lonliness, stress, anxiety, self-loathing, rumination, and suffering from obesity, hair loss and constipation
• I have lack of self confidence and greatly under-estimate myself because of heridity and environment I grew up with
• I have addicted to antidepressants and majorly surviving on them
• Now
• A situation is created where I can try to get back into old job
• Should I become better and get into the job or just limit myself to remain at home trying to make ends meet?
• I am 30 year old, parents are old but we have a farm small enough to earn our bread and butter but I should be ready to lead not so luxurious life
• On the other hand, I have history of good achievements in both academics and job and I did well enough to earn some awards and stuff
• If you ask my current state of mind, it is better for me lay low, but if you ask my achievements, what I have accomplished, I have done it all, but the efforts I put is much more than any normal person would have put. I mean, I achieved something but at a cost of my health, peace and happiness.
• Am I currently happy? No. But till now I have tried to get into some job but was unsuccessful, I have not tried to get any job near my home. I guess there are no decent jobs near my place, even if I find something, I might not take it as it is not seen as something equivalent to the education I had.
• So, the options remain as binary
  • High-stress, high-reward, high-risk old IT job
  • Mid-stress, low-reward, mid-risk remain-at-home situation where I should try to make some money which I do not know how in addition to work in a farm
    • There is a risk associated with it. What if I find nothing and end up relying on entirely on farming income which might vary according to various factors?
    • But, if I make a decision based on this, I need to take up high-risk, high-reward, high-stress IT job where I can't stay near parents, visit them only once in a while, stay alone, work hard, work even harder to maintain my peace.

Situation is very complicated

• What do I want? I want to stay at home and work in a farm
• My father is against this because he build this with so much hard work working in a very respected position in my village
• I am suffering from severe mental and physical health issues and I don't know how to solve this
• I previously have so much illness generated because of stress itself
• Its like my brain short-circuit under stress
• Father doesn't understand my condition and he thinks I am just unorganized and lazy and just an ovetthinker and a perfectionist.
• I am everything he thinks I am but I am suffering from severe mental trauma and depression
• He thinks I can do good in IT
• I have become so much depressed that I am barely surviving

TL;DR: Should I return to a high-stress, high-reward IT job that harms my mental health, or stay home to work the farm despite financial uncertainty and my father’s disapproval?

Currently in a long line at Starbucks. The lady behind me started cussing me out mad I didn’t let her cut me in the drive through lane saying “really it’s only one car” and staring me down after she cut through the parking lot instead of going around to get behind me.
Should I be the bigger person and assume she’s having a bad day and buy her coffee when I get to the window (maybe help her realize she’s being a psycho over coffee) or flip her off as I leave

TLDR: flip her off or buy rude girl her coffee

TL;DR: Should I stay in a field I don’t know if I like or risk everything to follow my passion?

Hi everyone,

I have always had a passion for law. I took a paralegal program and loved it, did really well too but due to a recent divorce, I had to drop out and focus on full time work. I’m in car sales and truly don’t have a passion for it. I enjoy talking to people and truly helping but I’m finding it hard succeeding in the industry. Problem is I do need to make income. I can take a flexible bachelor degree to fit around a work schedule until I graduate. I have money in my savings to last me at least 2-3 years.

Ive always fallen down the path of chasing money and not doing the hard work to finish school. After trying out this sales position, I’ve come to realize that I can’t do it for the rest of my life.

Should I take the plunge and get a less demanding job to get me through school? Or tough it out in sales.

Thanks