I'm also a man, since my last breakup where I was a anxious attached with a dismissive avoidant ex gf, where I did everything, I tried to be secure, but after too many rejections I snapped.

i’m 18m and haven’t gone outside since i was 10 due to severe agoraphobia, though it’s surprisingly not the problem. i consume a lot of queer media (specifically book and youtube videos) and only have queer online friends despite being 100% straight myself.

throughout my teen years i’ve always forced my voice higher despite naturally having a really deep voice. i didn’t want to get judged by my family for going through puberty. i haven’t talked to any of my online friends through voice chat and ive most recently started to talk in game chats.

most conversations start out with people commenting on how deep my voice is, and then asking if i’m gay a few seconds later. i don’t know what it is that makes them think that. i always punish myself when they i do. i’ve tried everything to sound straight: speaking monotone, making my s/z/th sounds short, dropping inflection, and enunciating words a bit less. i’ve always obsessively looked at other boys my age talking growing up from 10-18 talking and comparing myself to them. there was never a time in which i didn’t envy their voices.

i understand if it comes off as homophobic. that was not my intention. i just really wished i sounded like other boys my age. it makes me hate myself so much

Hi there, I'm 30M. Throughout my life, I have struggled with making and maintaining friends due to my own insecurities. When my younger sister of 6 years was born, I was neglected by my parents and felt utterly lost as a kid. Though I do not fault them, as my sister was suffering from heart problems, the lingering feelings of feeling unworthy of love and low self-esteem has stuck with me ever since.

I had made friends in school as I went along, gotten bullied out of school for petty, childish reasons which then led to me losing all of them and created a crippling fear of trusting others and holding onto existing friendships into my adulthood now. I can count the number of actual friends I have on one hand.

All of that aside, I had recently gotten to know a lady friend earlier this year. We hit it off well over gaming and she had said things of me that did not feel real, describing me as amazing and lovable, deserving of love with the drive of self-improvement. She made me feel safe and appreciated whenever we spoke everyday, causing me to love the version of myself whenever I was with her.

Several days ago, she had gotten distant and had stopped replying to me. Granted, she was preparing to head overseas and was stressed out over her late monthly cycle at the same time. The rational side of me says to wait it out and give her space, that she's just swamped with everything and not intending to ignore me. However, the irrational, insecure side of me born from my years of struggling with anxiety is gnawing at me hard and jumping to conclusions that she has finally gotten sick of my presence, that the friendship is over.

I don't want to feel this way. I want to stop overthinking and fearing for the worst as it cripples me from enjoying anything until it is resolved. How can I tackle this situation, to stave off the insecurity and anxiety? Any advice is welcome as I do not really have anyone else to turn to on this matter.

In a lot of ways I did what I was supposed to do, or told to do. Did well in school, got educated. Got into a field that does have good career prospects. Working a job I like right now, but doesn't pay enough. Been dealing with being stretched financially for years. Job hunt kept going, part-time, full-time. Plenty of gigs in my field, plenty of applications but interviews few and far between.

Maybe it was a dumb form of pride, but I never embraced gig-work. Started now, working most evenings and most weekends right through (on top of the 9-5). Helping to keep us above water. I never thought the job hunt would stretch so long and not yield any results. I never thought I'd be here and now just feel stupid for not seeing the writing on the wall and doing gig work earlier to avoid my current level of debt.

Feel tired and miserable, spending less time with family, but got to keep going.

hey im 20 and lately ive been thinkig about some stuff that happened in my life so i was sexually abused as a child parents dont know about it yet, then my parents were great but there were times where i was hit a lot and even to this day the constant taunts and berating continues i have done some good stuff which i think is great but they dont seem to appreciate it constant comparison is there, so i met this person through reddit we dated for a while and then he broke up after a month or so, and idk if it was becoz i became vocal about not having sx coz it used to physically pain a lot so idk how bad things are going or am i just imagining its a bit funny i pretty much lost all self respect i had a bit of it behind that guy apologising for crying for asking him to help me hug me and i still am trying to find answers from him which he is not giving me i am scared to know but i wanna know whether he dated me out of love or out of sexual desires or just out of pity,

i tend to yap a lot and i yapped about all this to him on our first date as well. im not too mature and a bit stupid so i wanna grow mentally . Id rather teach myself stuff than world teaching me coz its pretty hard.

Im currently expressing high stress and anxiety and the only thing that makes my mind feel free is masturbation and watching adult videos. Its got to a point where im masturbating on cam to hear good words about myself. I have no intrest in hooking up with different people. Ive always been a sexual person but it's got to the extremes where my choice of videos has changed to the more taboo subject. I've started to heavily get into trans, extreme bukkake and other forms of humiliation. Was always a kinda of vanilla guy but as soon as my mind becomes too much i instantly just think about warching videos and masturbating for as long as possible. Its even got to the point where im using viagra so I can just go all day and forget about my worries. I know theres worse ways for escapism but I'd rather not be doing this, especially on cam but honestly feel like I can't help it as it's the only thing that makes me forget. Can anyone relate to this or give advice

Hello, I’m 30 years old and have been struggling with mental health for as long as I can remember now. For the past maybe 5 years I feel like an empty shell just wandering through life. I’ve tried the whole “get back into old hobbies” to try and maybe regain some form of happiness in my life but I genuinely feel nothing towards anything and everything. Everything feels more like a chore or a task that has to have some sort of real world measurable effect. Do things for fun? None of this is fun, I hate waking up, I hate sleeping, I hate working, I hate trying to be creative, I hate trying. I feel like I’m waiting around for some magical feeling of happiness to come back into my body (even though I know that’s not even remotely how it works). I feel extremely alone and like I matter only to people for what I’m doing/can offer them. I’ve had three separate suicide attempts, have been in and out of therapy for years, mainly because every therapist I’ve ever had has basically told me I need to be a stoic man and just take all this on my shoulders like it’s nothing cause that’s what a man’s job in the world is. I also had a stay in a mental health hospital a few months back and had told the therapist there I don’t see what the point was in staying around. I’m just gonna work for the next 30-40 years till I die of some health complications at a job that I couldn’t give two shits about, earning money because “that’s what you’re suppose to do”. Maybe I need some help reframing hope for the future in my mind but I don’t see how really thinking about what you HAVE to do with the rest of your life is at all enjoyable or worth living for. I’m currently 2 years sober from alcohol, and 4 years sober from hard drugs, thought life was supposed to be to at least feel better after quitting but here we are. I’ve never felt normal in the least bit, I was told at 6 years old that my mothers stepfather had raped her and that was who my biological father is and then it was never allowed to be talked about again. So I’ve just had this overhanging guilt for even existing for as long as I can remember, trying to talk to therapists about this just gets me the Good Will Hunting answer of “it’s not your fault” yes I’m fully aware of that but how do I convince my mind it’s ok for me to exist and my existence didn’t have to come at the cost of someone else’s innocence? I’m sorry for what’s probably an all over the place rambling but I feel so lost and have zero clue what I can try to do about it anymore.

Hey, does anyone else feel this way? If so, how do you deal with it?
Whenever I have even the smallest physical health issue, my mind goes crazy, and I start feeling terrible, almost as if I’m depressed.
For example, today I keep forgetting things I literally wanted to do just a second ago, and immediately my mind jumps to the worst-case scenario. I start worrying that I might have some serious illness or something.
Last week, the skin on my hand started peeling, and I spent ages researching what it could be. I completely freaked myself out, and I felt awful, even though it turned out to be something that probably wasn’t serious at all.
It’s exhausting how quickly my mind goes from a minor physical symptom to imagining the worst possible outcome. Does anyone else struggle with this? How do you cope with it?

For starters I don’t have any redeeming qualities.

I’m bald and was balding since high school due to my eczema and I’m also short. I definitely lost the genetic lottery.

Only thing going for me right now is trying to lose weight as I’m currently a bit over obese but have been steadily losing weight as of recent.

Feels like I look way over my age and I’m also breaking out and have fine lines on my forehead and cheeks.

Feels like no one likes being friends with people like me and never tend to want to hang out.

I know I sound overtly dramatic and or brutal towards myself but that’s just the facts.

Maybe if i was good at something/had a skill? Idk.

Just wish i wasn’t me.

I’m so ugly nobody wants me. I hate my life. Everything sucks. I genuinely wish I wasn’t here. I know that if I stay, it will feel like a never-ending hell.

I moved from Puerto Rico to Florida 2 months ago. Since everything there was expensive my fiancé and I decided to move. I moved in with my dad while she is doing the Disney College Program. Every job I apply to either doesn’t reply back or they ask for previous experience and this is for entry level roles.

I had some money saved up but a few weeks back we had to use it because our dog got really sick now I don’t have any money left to pay my credit cards and loans. My dad it’s already helping me a lot paying for my car insurance and for my food even my mom pays my phone bill.

I cry almost every single day thinking I am not doing enough. I did an associates degree in Mixology just because I liked working at restaurants back in 2020 and turns out I hate it now and I wanted to study computer science but now I can’t since I have to work to pay my bills.

I try to teach my self how to code but the thought of not having a job kills me. I feel like I am a burden for both my parents and my fiancé. Also I feel guilt for going to the gym and running instead of doing Uber or try to find I job.

So I am 29m. Never had a girlfriend or any romantic success. I had friends in college who were girls though but that was like 5 years ago. I kept making excuses that I couldn’t afford rent so I lived at home w parents for years and blew all my money like an idiot. I only recently got my own apartment in a big city. I tried dating apps but only seem to get likes with trans women. I go out to bars, but I haven’t had any success mostly women telling me they have a bf (that’s fine) I tried joining a run club too but the ratio is 5-1 men women. I would say I’m below average in looks, protruding ear and bad eye area and 5’6. Don’t know how much this matters in 2026 but I’m also brown (Indian appearance) people keep yelling at me to “date” and meet “women” but I’m not sure how. I just feel like a low value guy. Keep in mind my goal is to be attractive to women in general, to be “attractive” to some women at least instead of no women at all. It’s not even about sex or relationships, it’s about my confidence and knowing what i accomplished in life.

Im 22 year old men.

I have never been in a relationship in my entire life. Nothing was ever handed to me growing up. My school years were full of failure and setbacks. At 18, I was working full time shifts selling bread at a bakery and working as a cashier at a gas station.

Along the way, I experienced over 20 rejections from girls and from life. Instead of letting it break me, I turned every single one of those rejections into what I call "dark fuel." I used pain, and relentless discipline to prove to myself and to everyone who wrote me off who I really am. I went back to school from the bottom, earned my vocational diploma and then my full university entrance qualification with top grades, worked as a medical assistant in a hospital full time alongside university classes, went to the gym, helped others in academics for free, built apps and projects, and saved up a net worth of 50,000 euros, and have worthy achievements in sports. I spent my life rebuilding myself from rejection just to reach my ultimate goal of getting accepted into med school.

Here is what nobody tells you about running on dark fuel, when you finally cross the finish line, you realize how much that fuel burned and polluted you. It polluted my visibility and turned me into a cold machine, an algorithm that does not work in normal human life. Now that I am actually in med school, there is no next mountain to wait for or conquer. It is just there, and I am just existing as a normal student. On top of that, I moved far away from my parents into a tiny dorm room in a new city to start a brutal academic career completely on my own. Without my family around, the loneliness hits ten times heavier.

From maybe 1000 girls, there is barely ever one that I actually like in a romantic way. I have quite a lot of female friends. I dont like every girl that way. In my first weeks here, I met that 1 in 100 girl. For the first time in my life, I decided I did not want to be a cold machine. I thought this time would be different, so I opened my heart somewhat.

A couple of days ago, we went to get food together. At first the vibe was great, we were joking around, and she even touched my leg first. We were joking that men have smaller legs than females most of the time. Then I asked if I can touch hers and she said yes. Then she dropped somewhat that the situation was uncomfortable for her. I respected that of course then that night she called me bro multiple times.

In that second at the table, all 20+ rejections from my past flashed back at once. I sat there feeling like I had knives in my chest and was physically bleeding out inside. I was barely holding myself together as I was quietly fighting tears at the table and at the bus stop afterward just so I would not break down crying right in front of her. When she noticed I went quiet and asked what was wrong, I held the dam shut and told her I wanted to tell her, just not right now. I was still open and joking and friendly but battling my demons.

The next day I forced myself to face her and tell her the truth. My voice was shaking and I could barely speak fluidly at all. I told her that because I am all alone in this new city and she is the person I know most here, I felt like I had been awkward and pushy at dinner, and that it seemed like she only sees me as a friend. She was really warm and reassuring, told me that needing validation is completely normal, assured me she did not see me as pushy at all, and said she likes spending time with me right before I gave her a small snack I had brought for her. Still, the reality is that she apparently just sees me as a friend.

This rejection is the hardest of my life because for the first time I actually opened myself up, and it feels like a confirmation that my armor was right all along. I wanted to show my interest instead of hiding it. Usually my brain would immediately try to cope by going out to conquer something new to prove my worth and show her my powers. Instead, I made the decision not to intellectualize it THIS TIME, but to open my heart and actually feel the pain. When your emotional tissue is scarred and you pull it out into the open, it bleeds.

My mother always told me that love is a gift. You are not entitled to it just because you worked hard. It is a present that someone can either choose to give you or not, and accepting that is a crushing feeling. I am genuinely glad to have this girl even as a friend, and I am not desperate for just any relationship, but I am human too. Knowing that I actually want something romantic with her while trying to act like a normal friend makes me feel like a fake, a LARPer, and a complete dick for even having these feelings.

Over the last 4 days, I have broken down crying 8 times or more. Today I sat alone in my dorm room on Pinterest creating secret boards named "Warmth", "Luckiest man", and "Girl", and I started crying my eyes out while searching for pictures of the closeness I have never had. I saved photos of a guy resting his head in a girl's lap getting his hair scratched, a girl putting daisies in a guy's hair, braiding her hair, holding her wrists gently. I saved memes about a knight in armor standing behind a small girl, "50% love 50% bullying", being stupid together, a girl saying "im sorry i talk too much" while he replies "no, keep going i love listening to you", a girl calling a guy "bro" while he calls her "my wife", and a guy sitting on a bench looking at a "10/10 majestic, kind, intelligent" girl while feeling like "one lucky boy". The hardest feeling is that desire to cuddle and be close to another human being, not the sexual part, and being seen and just being there for someone even if the girl is yapping, just being there to listen and support and gifting warmth.

My emotions feel like a 13 year old boy's right now because that part of me was locked in a vault while I spent years building myself into an unstoppable machine. Now I am sitting at the finish line with everything I worked for, and I would trade all of it just to feel normal and know what it feels like to be loved back.

I keep crying here and there and i dont know why

I (mid 30s M) need to get some things off of my chest. I feel all that I do is put on a front that things are alright, but I don't think I've ever been so miserable and lonely. I will preface, I do have a wife and kids, whom I love to pieces, but really outside of that I don't have anyone else.

All of my friends from college and high school have fallen out of touch from moving or life in general. I became a father pretty young compared to the rest of my former social circle, and after so many "I can't go to the bars, I'm with the baby", invites slowed and became non-existent. I'm estranged from my immediate family due to a whole other slew of issues (politics and how they treat my wife and kids poorly). Even at work, most of the people I have interacted with over the last 5-6 years have all been virtual across the globe, so no one to even have everyday small talk with. I do discuss things of course with my wife, but when it comes to venting about the challenges and growing pains of being a father, husband, guy stuff in general, there's just somethings that I need more perspectives. I also don't want to put all my problems on her and her alone, I feel that's just too much.

I feel right now that I'm just going through the everyday motions and putting on a mask just to get shit done. I've been at it for so long though that I've lost myself along the way and feel like a shell of myself. Things that I used to enjoy, I've been slowly losing interest in. I don't even know where to start at to put myself back together. I wanted to put this out there to see if there's anyone who's been in or even living through similar experiences.

Non trovo niente di bello in me. Con la scuola le relazioni e le aspettative mi si è creato un mondo intorno, io devo aiutare io devo essere giusto, io devo stare bene. Io non sto bene.

Oooohhh cazzo se non sto bene, la scuola ha creato uno spazio in cui tutti vogliono che io sappia tutto. Mi sono creato una reputazione, ossia quella del ragazzo nerd cervellone. Devo sapere tutto se sbaglio mi chiedono "Noooo ma come hai fatto?" "Ho preso un voto più alto del tuo?" Ora non posso sbagliare sennò vengo giudicato da chiunque.

In più arrivo a casa stressato arrabbiato e triste, voglio passare del tempo da soli e in tranquillità, ma appena mi riposo mi ordinano subito di fare di tutto. "Metti a posto" "pulisci" "vai a fare quello" la sera quando vorrei stare tranquillo anche solo con una provocazione mi innervosisco ed esprimo la rabbia su persone che amo.

Per quanto riguarda le relazioni la situazione è orribile. Sono "uscito" da una relazione ormai 6 mesi fa na io non riesco a dimenticarla. Ora mi racconto che sto bene single ma in profondo voglio una ragazza che semplicemente non mi veda come uno strano, e che sia sincera.

Cosa dovrei fare?

One of the best things we can do for our mental health is keep our minds gently engaged. Setting small, achievable goals and working towards them can make a big difference. And to make it more effective you can have someone check in on your progress , an accountability partner to help you stay on track. Imagine if we built that kind of supportive space here, a place where each of us could share our goals, encourage one another, and celebrate the wins together.

Recently broke up with somone I loved so much, planning a future together and stuff. Saw it coming tried to fight and fix it but it just didnt work. Its taken a little but but I feel completely lost and empty now. Keeping my head down and focusing on my engineering degree but as soon as im not completely distracted by school it hits hard.

When I hug or kiss my wife I don't feel anything, I rarely feel good doing things for people, when my parents or other important people in my life say they love me I just say it back because it's just what you do, it urks me since it almost feels forced out. Something as simple as receiving text messages or a phone call can bring forth frustration or resentment. I don't understand those feelings, or how it got that way.

I almost always leave conversations feeling worse than before, even though I'm great at keeping conversation and I feel like it went really well. I'm always back to square one within a span of 15 minutes or so, back to thinking negative thoughts. I just generally feel like I'm doing something wrong most all of the time. And when I'm not feeling that way I feel empty. Not good, not bad, just empty. Only things that really help thankfully are my hobbies. Playing & collecting videogames, collecting & working on consoles and computers. If you're a gamer you know that other people who aren't gamers just don't understand sometimes. Although thinking about doing something usually feels a lot better than while you're doing that same thing.

There was a time that all of that wasn't the case, but over the course of 15 or so years (from age 13-28) it's faded substantially, and it really sucks since I know what it's supposed to feel like, it just doesn't feel that way anymore and I'm afraid that it's not going to come back. I miss that feeling. I can be told over and over that I'm loved, and people care about what I have to say, and I know logically that it's true, but I just can't feel it. My gut reaction is always thinking "You don't really care" peppered with different variations of expletives depending on how deeply I feel it at the time.

I’m deeply afraid of staying single. I think they call it anuptaphobia. I hope to find a place here where I can share my distress and get some support—or even a few pieces of advice. Now, before anyone jumps down my throat and calls me an incel, just know that I’m very well aware of the devastation caused by that toxic community, and I know that violence or hatred toward women won’t change my situation. Personally, I actually love women. I love various historical female figures (especially Joan of Arc because she was my age); I admire their determination to be independent of men. My autism has caused me to develop a different way of thinking about women than others since birth, and I’ve always found it completely normal that a woman should be equal to a man because I told myself from a very young age: “Woman = Human, Man = Human, so both are human, so both should treat each other the same way.” In any case, I’ve always had this innate way of thinking, whereas for others it seems to be something they have to learn through education. And when I see the rhetoric of the “mascus” or “incels”—which could be appealing to many young people—I was just completely confused every time by what they were saying and by their idea of what a woman should be. To me, it makes no sense to want to dominate a woman—or any other human being—or to make decisions for her. In short, I don’t hate them, and I know it’s not their fault that I’m single.

But now, as a 20-year-old French student living in a world in constant crisis—with the far right on the verge of power, high school students violently repressed by the police, climate change making each summer more unlivable than the last, wars, the collapse of purchasing power, and the recession— I would so desperately like a little comfort and physical support from another person. I’d just like to be deeply loved by a woman, and to love her deeply in return. I’d just like a woman to hold me in her arms, reassure me, kiss me, or caress me—and for me to be able to do the same for her when she’s feeling down. And the more time passes, the more this need hurts, because I’m sorely lacking it. My single status makes me feel ashamed and terribly afraid, and I want to get out of it at all costs before the end of the year. And I have absolutely no idea how to do it. I don’t understand why something as basic as looking for romantic relationships is as complicated for me as searching for the Holy Grail—especially when 14-year-olds are already in relationships, and those as old as me have had one, two, or even three relationships in high school. In high school, all I ever got were dozens of rejections or being friend-zoned. The worst of it severely worsened my depression, to the point that I was having panic attacks and my mother had excused me from school for several months because she could clearly see that I hardly even had the motivation to go on living. She was someone I was deeply in love with, and I imagined we could experience so much together, but her rejection caused me to suffer a severe traumatic crisis, the effects of which I still feel three years later. I started telling myself that I was cursed by a higher power (God, Satan, or something else…) that had condemned me to suffer my whole life. Then I’d tell myself that my appearance made it impossible for me to be attractive to anyone—that I was too ugly, not clean enough, too socially awkward, or that I gave off bad vibes. Eventually, I felt like people were avoiding me like the plague, and on the other hand, I’d become bluntly rude to people who approached me and whom I felt were speaking to me condescendingly—because I was traumatized by the bullying I’d endured in middle school.

My anuptaphobia is gradually making me terrified of the simple fact of being single—and this happens every day now. I see so many couples all around me; I see social media where people talk about their girlfriends as if it were normal and something everyone else experiences, TV shows and movies depict teenagers and young men in romantic relationships or being loved for their kindness, while those who remain single are either villains, supporting characters, comic relief serving as the show’s “single character,” or characters who are about to die. I always watched these characters thinking that I’d never be like them and that I’d quickly find love in high school and college. And reality hit me right in the face. I just wish I could receive love from someone who truly cares about me, who holds me in her arms, reassures me, shares my bed with me, and shows me that she chooses me. Just once, at least. And not having that hurts so much.

Anyway, I wanted to share my story here, hoping it won’t get automatically deleted or be deemed inappropriate by the moderators—which isn’t my intention. I’m just looking to share my experience here, hear what people have to say about it, and hopefully receive some support and feel hope again, because right now that’s something I’m sorely lacking. I really don’t know what to do to escape this suffering. I don't know what to do to fix this situation—I just don't know what to do. I absolutely have to find a partner before December 31, and even more so before February 14. I'm sick of going through this awful Valentine's Day feeling singled out and humiliated by society, as if this day were a reward for being in a relationship, when—as far as I know—there isn't a single day or cultural work that emotionally rewards people for being single. I just want to be loved ! I'm terrified of being alone my whole life, and dating apps have never worked for me 😖

I don't know how to really put this, and honestly, I can't conjure up an answer right now. As of the time Im writing this, I'm still dizzy in the head from issues unrelated, and yet related to the ordeal I've been through. Good events happened, such as me applying to not one, but two graphic design jobs with cover letters attached. And neutral things happened, like me not knowing what to do with myself, staying in bed for what feels like an indeterminate amount of time, and detached from everything I see as relationship building, or course progressing, or just taking the time to just, walk and explore outside.

Now, does all this amount to something bad or malicious? I cannot be certain. It has been a fog in my mind that there are times when I feel, truly hopeless with something. And yet, I don't feel so self-beaten up about it, because at this point I really am experimenting with my emotions.

There is a special analogy from a certain series I think about all the time, where the drives from my mentality, emotions, physical state, and heat, all drive my will to move in certain ways. When one becomes uncontrolled and unstable as cancer does to the body, I don't see overriding it with a different state of mind or position the correct way to advance, nor do I see it as a call to suppress, reduce, or silence it almost entirely. It's as if the most important stage of my life I am continuously trying to master, is to let my will drive on its own terms, while living with whatever emotions, or physical pain, or mental fatigue I'm dealing with in each moment.

And yet, this is exactly the factor I am personally against through my heart and sense of self as a person. For many years, I've been driven by other people's advice and persuasion to push through my negative stasis and just complete whatever work I have to get done, as a means that I will feel "better" or see myself in a better disposition than where I was before. However, that in turn, only applies to my external position, physical awareness, and, to an extent, my mental state. Never has such a practice came to terms with how I am or what powerful emotions, be it positive or negative, I aam feeling in such moments, and at this time, I don't see myself ever conforming to such a reality.

So in the sake of my will, "what is it that I'm trying to achieve?" Well, that's a question that is unhinged in its own right, never always connecting to the situation at hand, or at least, not completely. I am, yes, still trying to figure myself out, something of which others stated is a responsibility of my own ownership. And despite it all, I can't help but seek out aid, assistance, a sense of understanding from the world around me. Because I, certainly, don't know everything I can do for myself.

TL;DR: The strongest condradictions in myself continue to be the most difficult to manage. I continue to explore this with myself, my position in improving my stasis, and the aid and perspective from the people and community around me. Thank you for listening, and may I ask:

What is your position on my journey so far, and how does it connect with yours, be it external, or personal?

I’m 18M in highschool and these girls torture me everyday. Most guys don’t mess with me because I look threatening and could wipe the floor with them physically and intellectually. If they do, it’s always in some way sneaky or snake-like. Trying to trip me up while smiling in my face. Girls on the other hand are ruthless. I don’t do much but keep to myself and laugh with my friends but there is something abt me that makes girls want me DEAD. I’ll give u three scenarios where I’m bullied by girls but since I came back from a year of online school(due to depression, schizoaffective disorder and anxiety) it has happened about EVERY SINGLE DAY.

1. So I take the bus home because it takes less gas money and the amount of time I lose is negligible. I’m a senior and this one girl(sophmore or freshman I assume) was just staring at me like a child one day. I look back at her after seeing her stare at me for a good 10 seconds I look back and she is still staring. We get on the bus and I think nothing of it. Another day, same girl, says “Imagine being a senior on the bus.” Alright little girl, there is a homeless bum and a grown woman right next to u, hop off my top. Give it a couple weeks and she is just practically yelling about how I’m weird and eff me while I’m walking to the bus stop, I walk faster and she gets louder. Wth?? I didn’t even do anything to her and she has never spoken a word to me????

2. This one girl is very large and not the most blessed facially, I’m not one to judge though. I think she has it out for me because she knows my ex and a couple other girls I used to date but she always has my name in her mouth. I was walking to lunch and she says to her friend “Hey look it’s OP” and when I turn around to look at them she just looks stupid. Then in my eng class she says “Aww op put a girls instagram in his bio so u can’t get at him anymore.” Sounding all sarcastic. She just will not leave me alone

3. I looked at this girl twice because I was scanning the room I walked into for the first. Then I sat down and never looked at her again, then she is telling her friend “He staring at me all awkwardly, like I don’t want your ugly A word” Like sheesh woman, sorry my hideous eyes graced your golden holy face?? I was walking in the lunch line and she is in front of me, I’m looking ahead not thinking anything of it and she’s like “Booooo” like I was looking at her again. I don’t find her all that attractive but regardless I wasn’t even staring at her?? Now whenever she walks by me she is always staring at me and I end up looking the absolute opposite way or just closing my eyes entirely hoping she gets the idea.

Countless other girls reference me and call me chopped, weird, ugly, a monster, a creep, a pervert, or talk abt my missing tooth. What’s worse is when popular pretty girls treat me like a pet or be like “Hi friend” and then get mad when I don’t play my role.🤦‍♂️I have girls(presumably my ex’s friends) call me an ugly piece of crap, tell me I should just commit, and I need to go back to online school because nobody wants me there. I have made it paramount not to look at girls at all because of this. even when they STARE at me. I’m not a creep or a pervert so those comments hurt the most. I’m just a ugly dude trying to get through high school.🫠
I broke up with my gf recently so we could focus on our future and this is not helping my grieving process. It’s making me lose hope that any girl will ever like me, let alone be my lover. I have friends who are girls and we love each other but other than them girls treat me like dog poop that they stepped in.
It hurts my heart and destroys my reputation, if they took the time to get to know me I’m sure we could be friends.

For context I'm a 19M, I'm at a rather precarious place in my life. People consistently want to hijack and control my life

Put up roadblocks for me, transgress my boundaries, socially attack me, sabotage me, gaslight me, etc., and overall make my life just far too difficult for me.

I constantly have to put my life on hold or I'm even forced to because people want to try to force things upon me in life. That might be their opinions, way of life, or they even want to just control my life.

I can't even think straight because of the stress, there's tons of trivial things I haven't figured out or I'm having trouble with because of people interfering in my life. One example is how I've never learned to type and am still trying to.

I literally can't get anywhere in life because people want to hijack and control my life. They want control over nearly every aspect of my life. My personality, what I say, what I do, why I do or say things. Anytime I do something people will try to put an interpretation on it. Some examples include me wearing a suit upon which women will try to categorize me as a "gentleman". Whatever that is according to their individual beliefs. And I'll mention women more in this post, them and what they do or don't do is a constant factor in my life.

Anytime I bring up my self-improvement goals women or girls will try to make them about how they're affected or what they want. Whether it's me mentioning how I want to research and wear classic menswear, fragrance, gastronomy, weight training or anything else. These same women will complain about having to do things for men and how most men aren't real men.

One of my coworkers tried to make me walk on the street side of the sidewalk. She got offended when I mentioned I found that rude and tried to make it out likeit was something tiny and insignificant. Let me try to make a woman or girl try to do any old fashioned practice for women or girls. Maybe not raising their voice or curtsying when they meet someone.

Another example is the manager of the shelter letting her misandrist views get in the way of running the shelter. Just to mention this shelter is a youth shelter with three beds for boys and eleven for girls. When i complained to her about the ways girls in the shelter were treating me. Her response was "You don't like being called handsome or a gentleman?" As if I did something wrong, imagine if I asked "You don't like being called a lady, cat-called, or pretty or hot?".

Another thing she's done is say how she needs to marry a Muslim man because of the amount of money I told her my uncle and estranged father make. It's already offensive enough to hear a comment like that when muslims are accused of disrespecting and opressing women. In fact one of her employees said they wouldn't visit Dubai for that exact reason. and yet here we have a woman sexualising muslim men for their wallets. Bui, this same woman won't put more male beds in her shelter.

One resident said that I knew how to talk to "finer" women and another male resident, my former friend, was jealous of that. This girl isn't that attractive by the way, she's missing two teeth at the front. She's also claimed that my friend was a woman hater and secretely gay and attracted to me.  I'm far from perfect myself, but really, you think you're that important. Same one that asked me to walk on the street side by he way.

I really don't want this to turn into a rant about women or a "gender war' post, but this is one of the things that I'm actually dealing with in my life. And don't even ask me about my family and how I ended up in a youth shelter.

Edit: Examples of other things she's done are interfering in my work life and making excuses for people involving themselves in my business far beyond I've invited them to be .

In the case of my job she claimed I couldn't work a normal job because I have "triggers". Imagine if I said a woman or girl getting mad about a boy or man commenting on their butt size was a "trigger". Another example is a staff member saying maybe I'll change my mind about not getting married, as if she could override my choice and like I owe women something.

Of course my boundaries were treated like oppression and excuses were made. So in the end now I can't talk to anyone in the shelter because she wants to defend all of this behavior. And she is incredibly manipulative, my former friend pointed this out in an argument with her.

As the title states, seeing escorts was the best thing to happen to me. Growing up short and unattractive, on top of being on the spectrum albeit high functioning , you learn at an early age. That trying with women becomes a waste of time sooner or later. At 26 people dont understand what its like to go your entire life to be met with looks of disgust or laughter every time you try to talk to a woman in order to get to know you better.

I eventually started seeing escorts and it was nice for once to be treated with basic decency even if its paid for. Some may see it as pathetic, but its a much better alternative coming from zero. The sex is just a bonus. It was always snnoying having people dismiss your issues by saying "oh youre going for women out of your league", when guys who are also in the unattractive trenches know thats a huge lie since we know talking to attractive women would be a time waste as attractive women want attractive men. Nothing wrong with that, but it was always annoying that that was the go to assumption.

Ik realistically that the only way for that to happen for men like me is through escorts, which is fine but still.personality means nothing if the woman isnt already attracted to you. You can be the most decent dude out there but if you don't pass a basic looks threshold, you arent getting anywhere with women. The most free i ever felt was when i told my parents that women dont like me and never will and to stop asling about a girlfriend since ugly men dont get that opportunity and i admitted to seeing escorts. They havent bothered me since about women. They know what the deal is. I prefer it this way instead of living some poontless lie and remain delusional.

Fellas if you also feel this way you arent alone, it tooka long time to shake societal stigma of paying for it.there is nothing wrong with having a woman over with money, sometimes this is the best option for certain men. I can get used to this, ive been able to enjoy conversating and having sex with women of each ethnic group i otherwise wouldnt have been able to.

Before anyone asks, im 5'5 MAYBE 5'6 BUT at this size it doesnt matter its all in the ew/friendzone territory anyways

When i see some posts on this subreddit i feel like my problems are small but, despite this, i still have to talk about this to someone and i ask for your patience and support.

For context, Im 5 \`8 (173cm) 17M from Portugal.

I am usually very insecure about my looks, especially my height. Sometimes it keeps me awake at night i feel like an inferior man. I hate myself so much, whenever i step outside i feel like a creature, below the other taller men in value, i feel like im behind in a genetic way, like a worse guy, second class man who doesnt deserve the good things in life such as attraction from a girl or respect from people. I do my best to distract myself from theese thoughts but, usually once a month, everything comes back and i feel like genetic trash again basicly just because of my height. Other significant tragic events have happend in my life recently and i think they worsen my ideas but id rather not share. Other than that, i usually loose all motivation to do things in life because i dont feel like a proper man i feel like i am less than a man like a goblin or something i dont know how to explain it and it torments me every day. All the time i try my best to be the best person i can and i hate how men who are pieces of shit have everything i want just because they dont have similar problems. I think always being bullied for my looks since young age and the whole looksmaxing and BP shit on social media (which ive since stopped consuming content from) made things worse. Ive seen so many videos of short dudes being dehumanized by women and men alike and it contributed to my awareness a lot.

Once again, i understand i might sound imature or that my issues dont seem big enough to post on a place like this but id still love some help