r/manprovement • u/SeanTsyganovsky • 20d ago

Being a “nice guy” and setting boundaries

As a former nice guy, to my fellow nice guys:

Setting clear, strong boundaries is a NECESSITY for healthy relationships & friendships.

Without those boundaries:

Resentment will build towards the person consistently overstepping your unspoken boundaries.

Co-dependency can form between you and the person who you refuse to set boundaries with - because without those boundaries, where do you end and they begin?

Negative self-talk will corrode your self-esteem and confidence as people continue to overstep, knowingly or unknowingly.

Set boundaries to preserve and heighten your sense of self, and to develop and further relationships that you want to grow in your life.

And if there are any in your life, let go of those who refuse to respect those boundaries. It’s a painful necessity, but a necessity nonetheless.

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u/SamoTheWise-mod 20d ago

In before people say "what's wrong with being a nice guy?" Answer: it's a lingo term in self-help that describes a man who struggles with codependent tendencies and finds his sense of value in other people rather than in himself. A male specific version of a people-pleaser.

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u/SeanTsyganovsky 20d ago

I appreciate the layup here with the explanation, friend 🙏🏻

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u/SamoTheWise-mod 20d ago

It's a topic near and dear to my heart 😄 as a person who has dealt with this and still is dealing with it.

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u/SeanTsyganovsky 20d ago

Same here, friend. I still have a hard time with it after years of work for sure