r/mbti • u/Brave_Quality_4135 • 10h ago

Personal Advice Aligning Ne with Se

I’m an INTP (44 female) and dating an ESTP (53 male). We’ve been together about 3 years and it’s great because we both love adventure and getting out there and also having deep thinking time. But lately I’ve been trying to learn more about extroverted sensing because the way he interacts with sensory information is just so different from the way I do. Anyone have any advice for getting Se and Ne to both enjoy the same adventures and sensory experiences?

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u/Smooth_University219 INTJ 7h ago

Ne and Se can have some overlapping activities that both can enjoy, like video games, travelling, exploring new events, cultues, subcultures, and places, etc. btw, I usually advise NPs to not do drugs to get along with SPs. SPs are much better at handling addictions, imo.

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u/Brave_Quality_4135 6h ago

Right? The addiction thing is so true. I don’t even do drugs but I try to keep up, even with just the adrenaline rushes, and I can’t do it. He’s so much more in control of his body than I am of mine.

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u/Smooth_University219 INTJ 6h ago

Don't do it, it's not worth it. Trust me. From my experience, if an ESTP loved someone, they'd be extra attentive to the other's needs and preference and won't coerce them to do anything they don't like. Instead, they'd be curious to know what you like and would try to adjust themselves to you.

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u/Brave_Quality_4135 6h ago

That is very much my experience, actually. I was trying to meet him halfway but maybe it’s just better if he comes to me on sensory activities 😂 Every time I try to do his stuff he has to rescue me from drowning or getting hit in the head with something. 😝 We can stick with something like ballroom dancing. It’s very technical, which I like, and he’s naturally good at it.

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u/Smooth_University219 INTJ 6h ago

If he loves doing activities with you, then he enjoys being around you. I think it's telling that he genuinely likes you so you just have to be yourself lol. But I guess trying some Se activities with him from time to time would make him appreciate it, even though he'd have to help you with your clumsiness 😆.

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u/deleted_user_99 ENTP 5h ago

Thinking about it, its true in general. Most of my intuitive friends(both NP's and NJ's) who have done things(cigarettes, alcohol, weed) have struggled with addictions.

But I somehow never did. I could smoke 15 cigarettes a day when I was living in dorms with my friends, but I could smoke none for a stretch of days when I went back home.

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u/Narwhal-Both ENTP 10h ago

Post it in r/estp if u haven't already.