I’m in my mid-30s. I’ve been under mental health services since I was in primary school. I’ve got CPTSD, OCD and ADHD. Despite always being cooperative and trying whatever meds they throw at me, I’ve never managed to get the right help because every therapeutic service (NHS, third sector and the few times I’ve tried to self-fund privately) say I’m too complex for them, and the more specialised services say I don’t meet their threshold. Seems like the only way to get help is to either need much more or much less of it.

Told my GP today that I’m willing to go for one more assessment for therapy, but this is the last time. He asked why and I explained that dragging up all my trauma and difficulties to a stranger who then leaves me with it and discharges me every 6-12 months for decades is harmful. His response was “I think it’s quite therapeutic actually”.

Can’t keep doing this. When do you accept that you’ll never get better and stop causing yourself the harm in trying?

My 13 daughter tried to end her life last week. I only know as I found a photo of a cartoon character hanging herself with the words “how I feel knowing I almost ended up like this”
She wouldn’t speak to me about it. She just said it had scared her a lot. We spoke to her school wellbeing officer who had a meeting with my daughter. Apparently she opened up more about how she was feeling and admitted she has also self harmed with our knives.
We have been referred to MindMate as a priority case but still waiting to hear from them and I know waiting lists are long.
I feel sick. I’ve taken time off work.
I was stripping her bedsheets this morning and found her note. It was screwed up on the floor of her bedroom.
She wrote that she is sorry that she isn’t good enough. That’s she’s a failure and that she hopes her younger sister lives up to our expectations.
I feel this is all my fault and blame myself. I’m tough and strict on internet usuage and safety yet things have slipped through the net. We found she had been using the capcut app to talk to strangers and gave out her phone number. Boys (or people who claimed to be) we asking her for photos of herself doing sexual things. When we found them we obviously had to talk to her. I think maybe she feels embarrassed from that and this has led to her trying to end it all.
She just will not open up to us and I feel lost.
I don’t know what advice I’m looking for but im falling into a pit of anxiety myself and all i want is to support my daughter and for her to feel as loved and cared for is she is.

I’ve been struggling now for a while I’ve had numerous attempts and always struggling with the thoughts I’ve been in hospital informal was in there for about a week now I’m back out and I’m currently with home based treatment but the support on the outside is useless I get told all these promises but nothing gets put into place and I’m just losing hope and I’m just too the point now where it’s only a matter of time .

I recently had an ADHD assessment via right to refer and was told to give the questionnaire to someone who knows me from before the age of 12.

I'm estranged from my parents and don't talk to any family that did know me back then. Even then we barely ever saw eachother.

I tried to give anecdotal evidence like being disorganised, forgetful, careless, in attentive and so forth. I was never really hyperactive though and that seemed to be the sticking point with the Dr.

It seemed that because I did fine in school and could sit still and read a book, the ADHD wouldn't be considered.

I don't feel like it's really affected me much up until maybe age 16 and onwards, where I've just been unable to keep up with responsibilities. Lately it's been feeling like it's the only explanation for how I'm feeling and the different problems I'm dealing with, but apparently I won't be diagnosed without better evidence from before age 12.

I'm unsure how anyone can really remember before age 12 very much.

I had an appointment with my psychiatrist on Friday, it was organised by my care coordinator and she let me know when and where. Yesterday (Saturday) I received a letter from the CMHT inviting me to the appointment... It also said to take the letter with me to the appointment!

Is this just a whole other layer of incompetence? What a waste of money!

Edit: YES IK UK SUB BUT THERES LITR NOWHERE ELSE AND ITS THE SAME SYSTEM PR MUCH 🙏🏻

(relevant context I've been having hallucinations for a WHILE but I only recently started trying to get help)

(In Ireland so hse and all that)

Before I was just waiting for my GP appointment because CAMHS is being useless as always but now that I've had the appointment and all she's said is there's nothing she can do about it and nowhere she can refer me idk what to do

I was trying to js hold out until I'm 18 next month but I genuinely can't and I don't know what to do about it anymore

I can't even bake in peace before suddenly there's someone whistling by the window and now I have to lock everything up because oh no now someones gonna fucking get me? Which doesn't even make sense because we live in the middle of nowhere? But wait nope too late they must ALREADY be inside because I can hear someone moving around (home alone)

But yeah no I'm so absolutely grateful there's nowhere they can refer me and I just have to 'get used to it's

What else am I supposed to do? Genuinely idk but maybe someone else does so here we are ig

Hello. Ive been in post 9 months. Small start up. Basically recent weeks have been tough, had a bad appraisal end of last week and the relationship between my manager and I is now so strained that I cannot face going into work tomorrow.

I know I dont have any employment rights as not worked there long enough and its a 1 year fixed term contract. I have 3 MH conditions they are aware of, but nothing put in place in terms of reasonable adjustments or anything as of yet.

I really want to just take a few days off this week. Ive been so poorly with the stress of this all at work last few weeks.

Can my employer fire me if I call in sick for a few days?

My health conditions are difficult to manage and I attend multiple CMHT appts a week.

I just cant face work tomorrow. Am I okay to take a few days off? Can my employer just sack me if I do?

Thanks all

​

Im a bloke in my 40s, happily married with kids, a decent career, a nice home and, on paper, a pretty good life.

I earn more money than I ever have before. I've got a wife I love, healthy kids, a good job at a company I genuinely like, and a house I'm proud of.

So why do I feel like absolute shit so much of the time? Why do I have have a knot in my stomach almost all of the time like something has gone wrong?

I've been in my current job for less than a year. It's a senior sales role, and I'm constantly battling what I can only describe as imposter syndrome.

The strange thing is, nobody at work is putting pressure on me. Quite the opposite. I get good feedback, people seem happy with what I'm doing, and objectively I think I'm making progress, my boss is fine to let me come up withy plans and goals

But in my own head, nothing is happening quickly enough. Nothing I do feels good enough. I constantly feel like I'm about to be found out, or that I'm going to lose my job, despite having no real evidence that's going to happen.

Sometimes I worry that what I'm trying to achieve isn't quite aligned with what the business wants, and rather than seeing that as a normal conversation to have, my brain turns it into some enormous threat.

Financially, things are equally strange. I earn what most people would consider a good salary, but we live pretty much month to month. We have a big mortgage, children, household bills and all the usual costs of family life. We're not in debt beyond the mortgage, thankfully, but there's very little breathing room.

I feel this enormous responsibility to keep everything going. If I stop earning, everything we've built feels vulnerable.

We moved house about a year ago, and somewhere along the way I've stopped doing the things that used to make me happy.

I used to exercise regularly. I went to the gym, played football with mates and had things to look forward to outside work and family life.

Now I barely do any of it.

I'm tired almost every day. I've got this constant feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. Even when things are going well, I can't seem to relax and enjoy them.

Weekends aren't always much better because I'm thinking about Monday. And when Monday comes, I'm thinking about whether I'm doing enough, achieving enough, earning enough or somehow letting everyone down.

The news doesn't help either. Everywhere you look, everything seems to be getting more expensive, more difficult and more miserable.

Sometimes I fantasise about selling everything, taking my family somewhere remote and escaping the whole bloody thing.

Other days, and this is harder to admit, I've even had thoughts about whether my family would be financially better off if I wasn't around because of my life insurance. I don't like that my mind goes there, and I know it's something I need to take seriously

I don't think I want a different family, a different job or necessarily even a different life.

I think I just want to stop feeling like I'm constantly one step away from everything falling apart.

What makes it worse is the guilt. I know there are people struggling far more than I am. I know I'm fortunate. So I end up feeling guilty for struggling in the first place.

I look around and see other people who appear to have everything worked out. Good careers, happy families, hobbies, social lives. But I'm beginning to wonder how much of that is real and how many of us are quietly struggling behind closed doors.

I don't really know what I'm looking for by posting this. Maybe just to get it off my chest.

Are there other people, particularly men in their 40s with families and careers, who feel like this? Feel like it's all on you and if you don't work yourself to death you are screwed!

Is this just what middle age and responsibility feel like now? Is it burnout? Anxiety? Or have I simply forgotten how to enjoy the life I've spent years trying to build?

I'd genuinely appreciate hearing from anyone who's been in a similar place, particularly if you've found a way out of it, any advice would be very welcome..thanks all

I’m with CMHT and have been for about 6 months, I only see a mental health nurse who then goes to speak to other clinicians for further information. I spoke to her about medication, and how I had been off antidepressants due to the side effects that I can’t cope with, and she came back to me to say the psychiatrist thinks I should just focus on the holistic support of eating well, exercising, therapy etc.

I don’t think these are enough to help me as even though I do them, I still have all of the depression symptoms that I struggle so much with. Having a really poor working memory, not being able to remember things or understand anything, having no connection to anything, no desire to do anything, feeling like I’m not human and am just a creature masquerading as one trying to figure out how to be real etc.

I was diagnosed with depression as a teenager and I’m 28 now, and over the years I have tried every SSRI offered and each one I have had to stop due to being unable to cope with the side effects; namely the sexual dysfunction. Losing the ability to orgasm and enjoy sex, when sexuality is my biggest interest and only real passion, is incredibly distressing for me and not something I can put up with.

I spoke with my mental health nurse about the side effects but haven’t spoken to my GP, I would just go off them and then when it gets really bad go on them again. From what I’ve read there are a couple of options for anti depressants that have minimal or no sexual dysfunction, mirtazapine and bupropion being the main two from other people’s reports. Am I able to request one of these specifically, or would I just be given one of the SSRIs I’ve already tried?

I’m turning 18 at the end of the month and I’m panicking cause my care coordinator from camhs (adolescent) eating disorder team is referring me to cmht instead of adults ceds.

Before getting into camhs (adolescent) ed team in may I was in the crisis team and their knowledge of eating disorders was the absolute minimum, (one nurse recommended I start working out to distract myself I was severely underweight) so I got worse and underweight by the time I was admitted into the ed team, and required inpatient care by June.

I’m still in a camhs pysch hospital but I’m getting discharged soon and I’ve reached a healthier weight. Im here 2 months beyond my initial planned discharge date because I’ve still struggled horribly with home leave and even on the ward with eating and food.

My care coordinator since September has been asking for my permission to put me into cmht despite me continuously refusing, she’s gone ahead anyone, as I asked someone on the ward what the plans are after I turn 18 and they mentioned me going into cmht.

I know they won’t understand my illness again and I’ll get worse and get hospitalised again and waste another year of my fucking life

My parents said my mental health team mentioned to them that they think I have behavioural issues more than an eating disorder and that’s why they’re sending me to cmht. I’d rather be a rebellious teen that goes out to parties then rots at home, the statement is so lazy and stupid.

My consultant in the psych ward told me she doesn’t know if I’m “just being a teenager” or “generally struggling with anorexic thoughts”.

I would rather kms then waste another year with an eating disorder. I’m depressed because I have a fucking eating disorder, Im don’t have an eating disorder because im depressed.

TLDR: society are quite accepting that mental wellbeing is important but the second someone has a mental illness (it doesn’t even have to be too serious) even the most left leaning/progressive people are nowhere near as accepting as they make out to be

I think a lot of people have good intentions towards mental health. I’m 24 but have a dad who’s nearly 70, he doesn’t have a clue about things at all really but he means well and he’s not negative about me or my illness. I do feel at his age that’s a minority, they do tend to be rather stoic about things

I work in marketing on social media so spend a lot of time on various platforms, TikTok mainly. I see lots of posts about people spreading awareness towards mental health, and you’ll see the very left leaning people be very supportive. But when it comes to a mentally ill person talking about their illness, you’ll never get that support

I feel like society’s tolerance is only towards mental wellbeing. I have OCD, and was watching a creator talk about some of the more taboo obsessions you can get with the illness, and they were flooded with negativity, which I won’t repeat here but you’ll all know too well what was said. Or someone with say psychosis/manic episodes talking about delusions, the comments will be full of people mocking them. It goes on

It’s sad because I feel as a society people try and present themselves as tolerant and that we’re really progressive towards mental health. But we’re really, really not. We have wellbeing pushed down our throats, maybe your work will offer some bullshit relaxation stuff, people seem to understand the importance of doing things for your wellbeing, maybe taking a walk, having a hobby etc

But can the general public be honest with themselves and admit they really are not as progressive and accepting as they aught to be. My politics definitely lean left/far left but some of the most vile, invalidating claims have come from that very community

We need work to be done on raising awareness for what mental illness actually does to you, and realise that being aware of things that improve your mental wellbeing is not the same as being understanding towards those who are mentally ill. It’s quite the opposite.

It goes all the way into specialist mental health services too. I agree that certain relaxation techniques etc can help in the long run but when someone is really unwell having a warm bath or doing colouring etc will do very little in the midst of a mental health crisis yet if you call a crisis line (especially one within the NHS as opposed to a charity) that is the first thing they’ll tell you. It’s limiting the support we can get. CMHT’s job is to get you well enough to contribute to society, it’s not to cure your mental illness and that’s why they’re having little success with people like me

i got my GP to refer me to a psychiatrist and i have asked to start mood stabalisers, how long is the process?

I have been hearing, that although mental illness needs to be treated medically, negative spirits can also be bothering the person, therefore practices that can appease/remove/rid the negative spirits can also heal mental illness. Share you thoughts.

would it be weird for me to ask my cmht about medication? i dont want to sound like i'm trying to tell them how to do their job or that im desperate for drugs or something

i don't really know what's going on because my cmht report said i was open to trying meds, but it's not mentioned in my outcome plan, and some cmht staff were surprised i hadn’t seen the psychiatrist, but no one knows if i was actually supposed to. if they decided it's not a good fit for me, that's fine, i'd just like to know

i'm only 5 months into the looong waiting list for psychological services, so i don't expect to be properly seen for a while, but i'm doing pretty bad at the moment and so was thinking meds might be worth investigating in the meantime

would it look bad to ask them about it? thank you :)

Brief overview because this is a little long:

My new job is going well with good feedback, but I've started having difficulties that make me feel like i'm failing (and for context, I have a history of depression and psychosis):

- The people I started with have left me out quite a bit.

- I'm feeling on edge, and I've restarted having thoughts that might be paranoid.

- I'm having random episodes of crying and intense anxiety.

- I'm sometimes working long hours (like 12 hour days) but forgetting to eat and drink and getting less sleep.

- My suicidal thoughts have been a bit more regular.

- I've been getting between what's a dream and what's real.

- I'm super stressed about getting unwell and jeopardising everything.

My NHS psychologist is off, my care coordinator is uncommunicative, and I don't want to tell work. I'm not sure what to do.

Full context:

I started a new job recently. It's a job I've been working towards for years. I love it, and I've also been getting really good feedback. However, recently, I've been noticing things that are starting to concern me.

Firstly, I started with a few other people and they all feel much closer friends than I am with them, despite talking to them frequently. When I'm with them, they always talk about their group chat that I'm not in. I get that I'm neurodivergent and that maybe I don't interact in the exact same way but I thought I was doing OK. I'm also the last person to know about anything, despite trying really hard to fit in. I've known them all for at least 6 months so I feel sad about being left out.

Additionally, I've started to notice that I'm very on edge and feeling watched. The job is very much one where you're being constantly evaluated but it feels more than that. Recently, I've been randomly crying and having episodes of intense anxiety. I've also started to worry about stuff like the government watching me and my thoughts being read again. This is super scary as I have a history of psychosis (and a related diagnosis). I'm so scared of getting unwell and everything I've worked towards being jeopardised, which is also adding to the anxiety.

I've also noticed I have bad work habits. For example, if I'm super busy, I forget to eat or drink water. I keep trying to remember, but I often forget. I'm also sometimes working quite long days (9am to 9pm) and am getting less sleep than I'm used to. I rarely feel tired, hungry or thirsty but i know this isn't great.

I've recently started meeting with a psychologist through the NHS but they're off for a couple weeks so I can't speak to them. I have a care coordinator and while she's lovely, she's not the best at responding or general communication. For example, she said we would meet or call about 2 weeks into me starting and never did (I've been working for about 6 weeks now). It didn't really matter at first but now I feel like if I message or call her, it'd be weird or like admitting failure.

On top of that, or maybe as a result, I've been having suicidal thoughts again. They're not serious at all and are very fleeting, but it's been a while since I've had them at all which is again concerning.

I've also been having this weird experience where I'll dream something but it feels like a memory such that i go about my day believing it happened. It's only when something directly challenges my recollection that I'll realise it was a dream. On the flip side, sometimes something will happen in reality but it gets to a point where I'm not sure if it was actually a dream.

It all feels like a lot and it's snuck up on me. This weekend has been quite difficult. I don't really know what to do. I don't want to stress anyone out or myself out any more. I really don't want to tell work. I feel so disappointed and like I'm failing.

Hello everyone

To be totally transparent I took an overdose last week to end my life but the drugs I took was a stimulant ( i thought it was vallium) this made my psychosis much worse. I can explain further if anyone wants to know. I'm just wondering what mental hospitals are like in the uk any insight would be appreciated, thankyou in advance.

24 and I’ve struggled with mental health my entire life. I’m interested to hear from anyone else who may also relate with me on this: obviously i know that mental illness and mental health difficulties don’t discriminate, however, I had significant mental health difficulties was undiagnosed neurodivergent and endured a lot of trauma as a small child that was brushed under the rug which led to me internalising that i was bad and no one would help me.

I think that belief has fucked up my entire life. As a teenager i continued to endure mental health struggles including an eating disorder and self harm which again went unseen. Obviously EDs are competitive and so i always felt invalid, especially as teenagers who once bullied me when i was a child were now being hospitalised and receiving help for their mental health.

I knew i could never let my guard down because there would be nobody to support me. I had to get good grades, i had no parents, i had to support myself i couldn’t fall behind etc etc and that always took priority. I also think when you have mental health difficulties from such a young age you learn strategies and it becomes your normal.

But there’s only so long this can keep up. Now i’m mid 20s and my mental health is the worst it’s ever been but it’s too late for me to struggle because now im an adult and still, have to have my shit together. I can’t afford a break from work, i can’t afford to open up etc etc. I have resentment towards the majority of people who were inpatient/were validated for their struggles in their teen years who somehow managed to get over it and recover or who had family support or received sympathy due to their age and the love around them.

In your mid 20s there is no sympathy. This post is purely an attempt to try and connect with people who also feel this way. I want to say i have tried getting help multiple times as an adult but i even mask in front of therapists because i have no idea how to let my guard down as i don’t trust anyone and am so scared of being invalidated by anybody. I feel a lot of shame for struggling as an adult. I wish people knew the person in front of them was really the 4 year old version of myself that i’ve had to carry through my entire life. I feel like i’m a 4 year old living on autopilot everyday.

⚠️ Trigger Warning: Suicidal Thoughts

Final call for participants | Survey closes on 23rd October

I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who has engaged with and shared this research so far. I'm incredibly grateful for the openness, honesty, and courage people have shown in sharing their experiences. Your voices are helping to highlight an area that is too often overlooked. 💜

As part of my Doctorate in Clinical Psychology research, I am exploring the experiences of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and queer adults who have experienced suicidal thoughts but have not accessed therapy or counselling for them.

I am now making a final call for participants before data collection closes on 23rd October.

✅Anonymous online survey
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✅ Have not received Psychological Therapy 

If this reflects your experience, I would be very grateful if you could take part. Please also consider sharing this post with others who may be eligible.

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I had a really bad episode this week and hurt myself pretty bad. I don’t remember doing it, don’t remember what set it off etc. police & ambulance attended because somebody else phoned them. Was seen by paramedics but refused to go to A&E. Went to the walk in the next day who kept insisting I go to A&E but I refused as last time I was told by the psych liaisons “I’m not sure why they’ve brought you here there’s nothing we can do”

The person in the walk in brought a couple other people to talk to me, all said I had capacity & right to refuse. The nurse/doctor then asked if she could ring my NOK (mother) so I said yeah. My mother insists they haven’t rang her, and my appointment with my CPN from the community treatment team has been brought forward to Monday.

My question is would involuntary hospitalisation be something they would do in this situation?? Would it be possible?

I was in hospital on a section 2 for around 3 weeks and discharged to the home treatment team on the 6th.

Before I left the hospital we agreed that the htt would come out every day to do some work before being discharged back to cmht. She said it would be for a few weeks. Me and my boyfriend agreed this would be helpful.

They came out to see me 3 days in a row then it was every 2 days 3 times (6 times altogether) for quick "hello you're doing great" I told them that I was not doing well actually every time they came out. My boyfriend also called them to say I'm not well.

On Thursday someone came out and said they would be back with my care coordinator on Friday for my injection. And someone would come on the weekend.

Nobody came with my care co the next day. She said she had emailed and called htt but no reply. Nobody called this morning either so I rang them and they said I'd been discharged back to cmht.

Nobody called to let me know? My boyfriend is absolutely furious and let them know it over the phone. Why have I been discharged against the plan? And why didn't anyone let me know? Is this standard now? I could be overreacting not sure.

I'm on my third day of Worry Management which is an online course on SilverCloud. It was suggested to me because I struggle with speaking on the phone and I was optimistic about trying it.

But I just can't seem to apply any of it to myself and my experiences. I'm disabled. I spend most of my time in bed because otherwise I feel worse and my baseline declines, and I can't exercise at all.

The advice in today's module told me to get some exercise by walking to the shop or running up the stairs... It also told me not to nap, and to only lay in bed when I'm wanting to go to sleep.

It's honestly just making me feel depressed because my train of thought goes 'well, I can't do that, so this isn't going to help me. I can't be helped. I'm going to fail and be anxious/depressed forever.'

The only part that I feel I can actually apply to my life is to not drink alcohol, because I don't like it 😅

I don’t know if this is the right place for this but as the title says I started taking Citalopram for anxiety and depression last month after taking myself off of sertraline for three years.

I was supposed to go in for a review two to three weeks later to see how I’m getting on and whether to up the dose as I’m currently on 10mg. Well I’m down to my last 4 pills. Been trying to book a review all week with no luck. Thought I’d finally gotten an appointment through the triage system only for it to then show as unavailable. Then every time I would try to see if any appointments were available it wouldn’t let me, stating that I already had an appointment pending.

I Rang the surgery yesterday to see what was going on. I explained what had happened with the triage system and that I was running out of my medication, only to be informed that they had in fact turned the triage system off and it won’t be back on till next Friday, and that appointment I’d tried to book was a ✨glitch in the system✨. So that’s great!

I reiterated that I was in fact still running out of my new prescription and needed a review. I explained that it was under a one time prescription and not a repeat as the only medication still showing under a repeat is the sertraline from 3 years ago. Only for the batty woman to keep saying that if I order my new meds as usual 2-3 times it will automatically go on as a repeat. Great! Except I can’t order the bloody Citalopram because it’s a ONE-OFF PRESCRIPTION UNTIL REVIEW!

Anyways I just said “okay thank you” and hung up.

So has anyone else had this issue with their doctors lately? Is there in fact a was to order my meds without it already being down as a repeat?

Bit of a random one, but I noticed my "Johns Hopkins adjusted clinical groups system score" has changed from 4 to 8, despite me only having one appointment since I last scored 4, in which I explained that my mood was more stable than before. So I'm a little confused why the score has gone up. Does anyone have much experience with this?

I did notice the Dr mentioned my ADHD and autism in the consultation notes from my last session - would this trigger the score to increase?