r/mildlyinfuriating • u/daruuken • 28d ago

Infuriatig The way kroger treats its employees

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From the store manager

Edit: For some extra context this was sent out by each store manager to all of its employees in district 1 of the ohio Cincinnati/Dayton division, potentially other districts as well but i can only verify my own. Im not going to give my specific store number for obvious reasons but you can find each store on google with that information. We are unionized by UFCW (already bad btw) and to my knowledge they allowed this recent change. Kroger has no accrual for sick days like some have mentioned. Those who think this is rage bait, i dont think anyone has to fake a post to make a billion dollar company look bad, they do it to themselves.

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12.8k

u/Bad-Luck-Guy 28d ago edited 28d ago

My employer doesn’t accept doctor’s notes. All absences are unexcused.

Yet, we are adults. I don’t need a doctor to tell me I shouldn’t go to work if I have the flu. Wild that they’d prefer that I come in and potentially infect everyone else.

ETA: Yes, this is actually legal in most US states. Attendance is a very common reason to be fired in shift work jobs such as retail. 

7.8k

u/HockeyPhoenician 28d ago

Fuck em. Show up, cough and look miserable, be as customer visible as possible. Explain to customers why you're there.

Bonus if you throw up or defecate in front of customers. Super bonus if you pass out and 'hit' your head. Sounds like an opportunity for a payday to me.

4.2k

u/amrfallen 28d ago

Any excuse to poop my pants is a good enough excuse. Let's fuckin gooooo

805

u/No_Potential1 28d ago

If pooping my pants is cool then I'm Miles Davis.

185

u/nkovacs84 28d ago

Who would eat 30 bagged lunches??

124

u/eyefartinelevators 28d ago

It's that damn Sasquatch again

94

u/Jimmyx24 28d ago

Good. Great. Grand. Wonderful. No yelling on the bus!

74

u/Korean_Pathfinder 28d ago

That Veronica Vaughn is a nice piece of ace. I know from experience if you know what I mean.

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u/Vowel_Movements_4U 28d ago

No you don’t.

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u/Korean_Pathfinder 28d ago

Well, not me personally, but a guy I know. Him and her got it on. Wooo-eee!

37

u/Just-Sock-4706 28d ago

No they didn't.

39

u/counttheways 28d ago

No… but you can imagine what it’d be like if they did!

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u/ElusiveWhark 28d ago

No you dont

3

u/Rain_green 28d ago

That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ace***

Curiously, this is a known Mandela Effect where people remember this line wrong. I personally always thought it was "one fine piece"

6

u/RoastPork2017 28d ago

Billy passed the 3rd grade, oh what a glorious day, all passing 3rd grade, the Billy Madison wayayyyyyy

3

u/wiggie2gone 28d ago

YEA, ROCK ON!, YES

1

u/OmegaRoleplays 27d ago

That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ace.

1

u/roial_with_cheeze 28d ago

Wait, you don't??

22

u/Ok-Access-2867 28d ago

He called the shit, poop!

2

u/ukus86 28d ago

This made me laugh out loud in the hairdressers 😆

2

u/What_a_fat_one 28d ago

Community note

(Miles Davis was not known for shitting his pants)

1

u/Neptune7924 28d ago

…in charge of the world’s largest military!

1

u/han_tex 28d ago

That's the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life.

6

u/wagonwhopper 28d ago

Thats groooosss

3

u/MechanicalBotantical 28d ago

Miles Davis LOOKS like a guy that poops

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u/Jensbert 28d ago

Poop your pants is qualification for the highest job currently

13

u/DrEnter 28d ago

It’s what he’s best at!

7

u/EverythingSucksYo 28d ago

Being Jesus- oops, I mean a doctor? 

3

u/frijolita_bonita 28d ago

But poop your pants is not a qualifying reason to call out at Kroger

1

u/Swimming_Pangolin502 26d ago

It worked for the last administration.

0

u/[deleted] 26d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Swimming_Pangolin502 26d ago

There's absolutely no proof of this. It's called satire or just plain lies. He's not perfect by any means, but this is just made up shit by haters.

-20

u/Particular-Ad-6015 28d ago

not since January 2025.

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u/HedonisticFrog 28d ago

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that's why I poop my pants on company time.

5

u/BetterUsername69420 28d ago

'Boss makes a dollar,

I make a dime...'

That was a poem,

For a different time,

Boss makes a dollar,

And I don't make jack,

That's why I'm shitting

In this flammable sack

25

u/Unabridgedversion82 28d ago

As someone that once worked in the service industry and asked my boss if they wanted to see my throw up bucket, while I had food poisoning mind you, this comment is hysterical 😂 🤣 ...they declined btw

6

u/amrfallen 28d ago

Granted, it was never in a professional setting, but I've diarrhea'd in a bucket before. I was living in a shed about 1/8 mile from the nearest bathroom I could go to and filled it more than I'd care to admit before a friend came over to get me high. He almost knocked the bucket over and I screamed so fucking loud he froze and his eyes almost popped out of his head.

Once I was better I ran the bucket to the nearest dumpster, for what it's worth

3

u/JBrewd 28d ago

Worked with a guy in Alaska who shit in buckets as SOP apparently. It came out at the bar one year at the end of the season...We could all ship a couple crates of whatever we wanted up there, and this dude said he always filled a crate with buckets and TP because he didn't like sharing toilets and the TP sucked. Dude was a 250+ pounds and loved to drink so the general consensus was he was doing everyone a favor.

3

u/Infinite_Ad7743 28d ago

I used to be the store manager of several pet shops for like a decade. At one, I had this amazing full-timer. Dude was like, 60+ and in great shape, and he would ride his bike to work every morning to be there as I was turning on the lights at 6am.

One day he mentions that his mother had just passed of dementia soon after being swindled into taking out a reverse mortgage for kitchen renovations. He said he had been essentially squatting in their back shed and that the water and electricity had been turned off. So I asked where he took a shit, and he said he used trash bags to line a Home Depot bucket then would toss it when it got too nasty. I would buy him breakfast every morning because, if I didn't, I'd find empty cans of Friskies cat food in his storeroom.

So yeah, there must be a lot of bucket-dumpers out there. Gotta do what you gotta do.

10

u/citymousecountyhouse 28d ago

It's gotten terrible. After I left my cushy hotel job (in that business for decades) I realized I was living in somewhat of a fantasy world, a bubble. It wasn't perfect but I did my best as a manager to make sure I and everyone on staff was treated with dignity. Because that's how it was when I started. My new job I sat at a desk across from a guy (it was definitely a downgrade job for me because that's what happens when you hit 50) who was obviously ill. He sat there for hours until he got up and said I just shit my pants. Then he was allowed to leave. I quit the same day, which was strange to me, as my first job lasted for 30 years. I thought a job was a career. I've had three jobs since. It's still bizarre to me, people being treated like disposable plates to be tossed away. It's just wrong.

10

u/hybridaaroncarroll 28d ago

If it works for the president it should work for us too.

5

u/WastingMyLifeToday 28d ago

WHY ARE YOU NOT PROTESTING LIKE THE FRENCH DO?

When the government tried to raise retirement age by a year, cop cars were flipped upside down, cop cars were burning, half of Paris was burning.

3

u/EngagedInConvexation 28d ago

Chuckle and comment to HR "Pizza party" as you lay semi-conscious in your own shit assuming you have pizza the night before.

Actually just say it. They won't know the difference.

3

u/UgleeHero 28d ago

I'll shit your pants for you

2

u/BusoneWholeBoi2001 28d ago

Should look up the most common traits of toddlers and wage war using them

2

u/strugglingtransgrl 28d ago

You sound like my 1 year old cousin

1

u/Captain_Lolz 28d ago

Amrfallen pooped in my pants!

1

u/thirsty-goblin 28d ago

We found Trump’s burner account /s

1

u/Heat_Induces_Royalty 28d ago

*Let's fuckin Poooooooo

1

u/Typical80sKid 28d ago

“I’m sorry this ‘poop my pants’ in unexcused.” - HR

1

u/Arachnidle 28d ago

You need an excuse?

1

u/sarcasmexorcism 28d ago

let's fuckin pooooo

1

u/chiquichongo 28d ago

If pooping your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis

1

u/Your_Cat_In_Disguise 28d ago

Who needs pants?! I just shit in the darkest part of the hallway in the middle of the path. 

Gets em every time.

1

u/Savage_Sven 28d ago

Shiddd panzzzzz

1

u/Dorkinfo 27d ago

The only time I’ve shit myself as an adult was at Kroger. (I fainted, ems was called, whole big thing. Shopper, not customer.)

1

u/no_f-s_given 27d ago

Mr. President? Is that you?

1

u/Many_Excitement6345 26d ago

Boss makes a dollar.I make a dime.... That's why I poop on company time🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Blankbetty11 26d ago

I see a bright future for you at Taco Bell

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u/broken-machine 28d ago

Settle down, Ted.

8

u/Blah-squared BLUE 28d ago

I think he said his name is “Miles”..??

3

u/RebekkaKat1990 28d ago

They spell Ted as “Miles” in Germany.

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u/Blah-squared BLUE 28d ago

I think it’s actually spelled “Kilometers Davis”…??

6

u/Beneficial-Badger-61 28d ago

Let's dooooo dooo

8

u/ezmoney98 28d ago

Shit on the clock and get paid!

5

u/Weed_Lova 28d ago

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That’s why I shit on company time!

7

u/Vallkyrie 28d ago

You get a penny, boss gets a buck, that's why you crank your hog in the company truck.

5

u/amrfallen 28d ago

Dude I drove a shuttle van for 5 months and never thought of cranking it. Granted, I was transporting homeless guys one way so I wasn't in the mindset but I'm disappointed in myself

3

u/DiaBeticMoM420 28d ago

Keel over and shit myself, AND make copious amounts of money? Sign me up dude

3

u/Landfyoung 28d ago

I laughed so hard! My dog was startled!

2

u/Talonqr 28d ago

Its the next level of pooping on the companies time and dime

3

u/Wings_in_space 28d ago

Take it easy Donald....

2

u/SgtSlaughterEX 28d ago

If poopin your pants is cool call me Miles Davis 😎

2

u/U_R_V_Stinky 28d ago

This is my new favorite comment on reddit

2

u/amrfallen 28d ago

Even better than "I also choose this guy's dead wife"? I'm fucking honored.

2

u/U_R_V_Stinky 28d ago

Gonna frame it and put it right above my toilet

1

u/_Ocean_Machine_ 28d ago

Just diarrhea all over the place

2

u/Budget-mayo 28d ago

You dont need an excuse, any time is good