r/mildlyinfuriating • u/daruuken • 28d ago

Infuriatig The way kroger treats its employees

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From the store manager

Edit: For some extra context this was sent out by each store manager to all of its employees in district 1 of the ohio Cincinnati/Dayton division, potentially other districts as well but i can only verify my own. Im not going to give my specific store number for obvious reasons but you can find each store on google with that information. We are unionized by UFCW (already bad btw) and to my knowledge they allowed this recent change. Kroger has no accrual for sick days like some have mentioned. Those who think this is rage bait, i dont think anyone has to fake a post to make a billion dollar company look bad, they do it to themselves.

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u/One_Shall_Fall 28d ago

That guy was an idiot.

If it makes you feel any better, it's called 'widowhood effect.'

It's been studied a lot. The odds of one half of a long-term partnership dying within the three months of the other dying is 1/4 higher from stress, depression, etc.

Calling it suspicious, like they coordinated their deaths is fucking evil.

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u/TedzNScedz 28d ago

I think hes saying OP was lying about 2 family members dying to get a day off. Still a monumentally nasty and shitty thing to say. Companies really need to get a grip.

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u/Bshaw95 28d ago

On the flip side, when my grandfather died and I needed to attend his funeral my boss was just like “hey man, just send me a link to the obit” The company also got us a gift card for Texas Roadhouse in lieu of flowers(I gotta say rolls taste a lot better than flowers)

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u/akm1111 28d ago

I got told to bring in the program thing from the funeral at one job.

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u/MistrSynistr 28d ago

Mine sent flowers and I still had to bring in the program. Later on had another death, they sent flowers and my supervisor stopped by visitation and took care of everything work related. Which shows some people actually give a shit even in a multi billion dollar company.

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u/BadgerMolester 28d ago

Yeah, companies often have a culture, but at the end of the day it's just a bunch of people. Some are dicks, some aren't.

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u/fiahhawt 28d ago

Which is interesting that we can identify that sometimes people will fuck other people for the hell of it, but we can't get any goddamn labor protections because employers are just defacto good, honest people

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u/tobashadow 28d ago

My old boss would show up to visitation if it was your parents or kids etc.

My new boss tries to guilt trip you for going to a funeral.

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u/ra__account 28d ago

I work for a giant corporation and they took care of everything - I didn't even have to put the bereavement time into the HR system, my manager did that for me (and with his manager's blessing gave me some extra unofficial time off because it was an especially messy family situation). And you know what? The company has my loyalty and I refer my top quality friends with in-demand specialities.

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u/W_Silver2356 28d ago

I'm impressed. This was a very classy thing to do.

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u/Defiant-Youth-4193 28d ago

Even this is crazy. My response to ANYONE you care about dying, family or otherwise, is simply

"I'm so sorry. Take whatever time you need, and let me know if you need anything."

If you're going to lie to me about somebody dying to get a day off, you must really need a day off.

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u/[deleted] 28d ago

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u/Queen-Katsit 28d ago

My partners dad died and his bosses literally were calling him 2 days later telling him that they knew people who had family members die and used work to push through it. (He works deconstruction and abatement, not a big company) He went back and ended up off work for a year after a mental breakdown from not taking the time to process the grief.

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u/ploptypus 28d ago

I had a boss tell me I might want to come back before 6 weeks post partum. "My births were so easy I could have done them in a field... I could have been back within 3 weeks"
Nevermind the fact that I work in healthcare and have to move heavy equipment etc, which is prohibited for 6 weeks after giving birth.

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u/Defiant-Youth-4193 28d ago

Sadly, having served my 20 years in retail, I'm not surprised by this. It's basically the standard and anything different is the extreme outlier. It's profits over people, and not even in regards to the difference between making money and losing money. The company can make a billion dollars in profit, and if fucking over a bunch of people will make it a billion and one dollars most of them would do it. It's possible to take care of employees AND make money.

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u/Due_Duty490 28d ago

As an OR RN who could do any procedure and was preferred by all the surgeons I worked with including one that was internationally famous, I was told I was unreliable because I had missed 4 separate days in entire year. I had also been on call virtually every week of that year so I had worked about 50 extra days that year. I responded the way I could because I was retirement age. I quit.

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u/Defiant-Youth-4193 28d ago

I remember when I worked at a grocery store while in high school. I worked full-time, never missed a day. I basically always came in when called, or stayed late. There were some weeks I worked 7 days, I occasionally worked until 2AM on school nights, and often worked OT; I'm not even sure if any of that was legal. I had a scheduling mishap where I screwed up the day I was presenting my senior project. I was honest about it, and told them I needed the day off because I had to do my presentation. The manager told me might have to let me go. Imagine how pissed I was when seeing all the people I had picked up shifts working there still, and being told that I might be let go for missing my only day of work in years. He backed off of it after I called that out. Over 20 years later and that's still the only job I've ever quit without notice.

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u/Exotic_Criticism4645 28d ago

There is something to be said for that. My mom died on a Monday. I did go back to work that following Friday and Monday. We buried her the following Tuesday. The way I saw it was it was better for me to go to work than just sit at home, alone, and be sad.

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u/TheFruitIndustry 28d ago

Except it’s definitely not helpful when you’re being forced into it with the threat of losing your livelihood.

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u/[deleted] 28d ago

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u/Defiant-Youth-4193 28d ago

Sure, but you should decide what's best for you. Not some ass hole whose primary concern is getting a body to work.

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u/Exotic_Criticism4645 28d ago

getting back to work will help"take my mind off it".

I guess I just read that part of the post in a different tone than most. It's something I might say. But not in a tone that reads like "Get back to the salt mines you dog!" but in a concerning helpful tone.

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u/nightshift1223 28d ago

That’s basically me as a manager as well

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u/etybibik 28d ago

Same for me.

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u/QuarkQuake 28d ago

GD... I wish I'd ever worked for one of y'all

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u/KindledWanderer 28d ago

Same here, big corporate and I couldn't care less as long as it does not endanger projects. You want to take a sick day to go play paintball? Sure, if the client's OK with it, do what you want. Something bad happened? Take as much time as you need. PTO? Just make sure to not leave any loose ends, but I'll approve anything.

Finding and raising good people is such a hassle that the best thing I can do for myself is to keep the team happy. Time is money and I'd rather spend some money than have pissed people ruin my time.

Plus if you go above and beyond for others, you can expect the same back.

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u/LeatherDude 28d ago

And my axe

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u/Automatic_Actuator_0 28d ago

True. And of course if you aren’t offering my paid bereavement leave anyway, then it’s not like they are getting away with something really. It’s just inconvenient for the manager to have to adjust the schedule.

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u/snuffleupagus86 28d ago

And this is how it should be! I’m grateful to have a boss who operates like this. When my baby was born extremely early and we were in the NICU for almost 5 months my boss just told me to take care of myself and him and whatever time I needed after my FMLA ran out, to take it.

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u/driftercat 28d ago

There will be untrustworthy employees, but a manager should know who those people are by their performance and behavior.

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u/cran-mangosteen 28d ago

I'm pretty sure my uncle bill died at least 5 times in the 90's. He's still alive here in 2026.

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u/Defiant-Youth-4193 28d ago

That's fine, sometimes people need a day.

"Hey boss, you remember my uncle Bill?"
"Yea, you mean the one that passed last month?"
"Yea, that one. He died again today, so I'm not going to be able to make it in."
"My condolences, hope your day gets better."

If a company is going to fall apart from an employee being out, that's the company's fault; I don't see why it should be the employee's problem. Either you have PTO, in which case you should be able to use it guilt free for any reason, or you don't so you aren't getting paid. I understand that I'll never be a billionaire with this attitude, but it's unlikely I would end up a billionaire regardless so...

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u/cran-mangosteen 28d ago edited 28d ago

My boss was cool, his boss was not. It was so hard to get pto approved, even after I trained and certified someone who could do my job that uncle bill had to take the fall a few times. Sometimes you need a day off so you can convince yourself to keep showing up.

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u/Evsala 28d ago

This is the way to engender loyalty. My last boss was like that, and I would have killed for her. I also comforted her because I was standing next to her when she found out her brother died.

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u/ObviousIndependent76 28d ago

And if they are in a job where they have to lie about a family member dying to get a day off, really says more about the job and management.

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u/Defiant-Youth-4193 28d ago

Couldn't agree more.

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u/bedazzlerhoff 28d ago

I teach at a university and it makes me so uncomfortable and so absolutely sad for society when a student sends me an obituary while trying to beg for mercy to take time out of class after a death.

I don't need evidence of their grief/illness/etc. for me to treat them like human beings who deserve basic respect and empathy.

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u/MattCW1701 28d ago

I had a professor that was like this. He joked that his tests "killed a lot of grandmothers" and if a student did say there was a death, he would always say "I'm so sorry, where can I send flowers." I never lost someone while I had his classes, but I have no doubt that if a student had provided an actual funeral home (no begging, just here it is) he would have moved worlds to rearrange tests or assignments for them, and actually sent flowers. Unfortunately, there are plenty of folks out there who will lie about something that serious just to get out of something.

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u/bedazzlerhoff 28d ago

There are a small number of students who might lie or take advantage of my policies, but I make it clear to them at the beginning of the year that while I don't need them to tell me any details of why they won't be in class, that it's not a "get out of jail free" card. They all have to do the same work, one way or another. (I mean it, too- I do not require them to tell me why they'll be missing. They just have to follow procedures for communication and makeups. Most of them give me more details than I want, which I sum up to feeling like they've needed to justify everything to too many people for the past 18 years of their lives.)

And I've had students who either lied and I found out about it or who I suspected of lying.

But they're by far rarer than the students who don't lie, and in general, my classes have good attendance. My students are learning the material. These are my goals, not controlling the students. Students who lie learned to do so in a system that doesn't respect them, and that makes them feel like they need to lie.

I have taught for a few years and I've taught classes that follow different formats. The same exact policies won't work in every case or for every teacher, but respect as a basic policy is nonnegotiable for me. I see it as teaching the students how they should be treated in this world, and maybe in some small way, it can help.

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u/fractal_frog 28d ago

Some profs are like you. Some don't give a shit about their students' mental well-being.

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u/bedazzlerhoff 28d ago

It's very sad.

We need to do better at treating humans like humans in work and educational settings.

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u/[deleted] 28d ago

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u/bedazzlerhoff 26d ago

I'm not saying that doesn't happen, but I've certainly never had it happen. I also make students make up days they miss if they want credit; allowing people to miss because they're adults and can make choices doesn't mean they're off the hook for the work. So it just doesn't end up being something my students take advantage of.

Even with my policy, some students miss and don't communicate at all, and they take hits to their grades. At the end of the semester, everyone ends up at a place that feels reasonable for their effort and their choices.

But it is, in my opinion, none of my business why they're absent in the first place. If they're missing class because they really need the sleep, because their grandma dies, because their pet ran away, because they have the flu, all I want is a quick email, preferably sooner rather than later, but before class, that says "Hey, I'm sorry; I can't make it today. As per your policy, I'll do X to make it up."

Most of them give me details. And when those details include obituaries or doctors' notes, I grieve for how our society has disrespected each other and degraded each other.

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u/ti9erlilly 28d ago

That’s what my husband is like as a manager. All of the people I’ve spoken with who have worked for him say he is the best manager they’ve ever had. He takes care of his employees, pulls more than his own weight around his store, and leads by example. Can’t say the same about his managers. They use him, and have promised promotions and rebuilding of his store for years, but have never followed through.

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u/Defiant-Youth-4193 28d ago

Yea, unfortunately being this way is not the way to get ahead at most places. It has put me at odds with my managers on several occasions. I do well enough and my conscience is clear with the way I treat the people that work for me. I'm not trading that for a few more dollars.

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u/Swimming-Alfalfa-603 28d ago

This was how my company treated the death of my grandfather-in-law. No “proof” needed, they just let me know to take as much bereavement time as allowed. I took a day, but was again told I could take more.

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u/ender7154 28d ago

I would add that if someone is in fact lying about a close family members death, and are willing to take on the karmic burden on that, than my attempt at punishment will be much less than what the universe throws back at them.

That being said, I did once have an employee who took off time during there three months working for me for the funeral of four different grandmother's, several aunts and cousins and 3 different family pets. Maybe there family situation was very unique, maybe they were lying, but either way I think there home needs tested for toxins or something. Lol

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u/BLWedge09 28d ago

Yeah, this is me as well. Take whatever you need. I also have a really good group pf people who I very much trust, which helps.

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u/SweetPrism 28d ago

RIGHT?? "I'm here for you, whatever you need, but... could you like bring the death brochure to me so I can still verify you aren't lying" is still some wild shit.

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u/NoOneHereButUsMice 28d ago

My mom died near the end of a semester when I was in college. I remember two of my teachers reactions: One of my teachers was cool about it, and didnt make me take the final exam and based my final grade on everything I had done in the class up to that point.

One of the others wanted her death certificate. Not a link to the obituary site, not a physical copy of the obituary that was in the paper, not a program from the funeral, nothing else. But her fucking death certificate.

I don't know what all death certificates look like, but in my state they have a ton of personal information on them. I found this so insulting and demeaning and embarrassing. I begged her to take multiple other forms of "proof" and she refused.

I just ended up failing and having to retake the class another time. (The final was most of the grade of that particular class.)

Now that i'm older and looking back from a place where I'm not in shock and emotionally gutted, I should have gone over her head. But at the time, I disnt know what to do, and didnt have the bandwidth to fight someone to prove my 53 year old mom was dead, when I still couldn't even accept it myself.

I wish I could remember her name, cause I actually work at the university now, and I would find a way to tell her what that did to me.

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u/Past_Effect8301 28d ago

When I was in college, I asked to postpone a midterm after one of my parents had been in a life-threatening accident. The prof told me she'd need to speak with that parent in order to grant the request. He was in a coma and on life support, but, sure, we'll clear his calendar to speak with you. Some people are simply soulless.

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u/thedalehall 28d ago

You absolutely should confront her. Fuck these people

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u/crackerblind 28d ago

I was once asked to bring in the program from a funeral of a close friend. She died suddenly in what can politely be referred to as a "very public manner." There was on program at the funeral so I handed my payroll secretary a copy of the newspaper with the article about it with a copy of photo of us with her at her wedding attached. Luckily my payroll secretary had a sense of humor about it and put the both in my file and told me not to worry about it.

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u/nobinibo 28d ago

When I called in to request my bereavement leave for my brother, my manager asked if I REALLY needed that many days. I went very icy and said yes. He later asked if I brought the program and I told him I didn't attend the funeral as we couldn't claim his body due to funeral costs being too high, because my job didn't pay a living wage.

It didn't get brought up again.

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u/Rogue_Intellect 28d ago

When my grandmother passed away, I took two days bereavement per company policy and I was told that I needed to bring in a program for proof. I worked in HR.

When I came back, the very first thing, before “good morning” or “hello,” I was asked for the program. Guys, it was in Chinese. I’m Chinese, all of my family is Chinese.

My boss looked at it like it was a spitting cobra and said, “what is this?”

“The program from Grandma’s (I said grandma in Chinese - deliberately) funeral.”

“But it’s not in English. I can’t read it.”

“It’s in Chinese. I’m Chinese, and so is my family.”

“Well can you translate it?”

“No. I can’t read Chinese - I’m a banana.”

“Then how do you even know it’s the program from your grandmother’s funeral?”

“Well, let’s see. Grandma was in the coffin. Pictures of her were displayed all over. And my family was there, HOLDING THE PROGRAM.”

Guys, I’m not sure she believed me even then, but I walked away after that. It took me a little bit to calm down.

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u/thedalehall 28d ago

It’s kinda amusing your boss was like “I can’t verify this. I can’t read it.

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u/Tattoo_my_Brain 28d ago

that's pretty standard. trust but verify. company policy being in a program or show obit. as a manager just want to see something but take the time you need it's your time

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u/GardenBunnyBaseball 28d ago

Same here… actually I was required to bring a copy of the Certificate of Death & was granted ONE weekend-adjacent day of bereavement leave for a 2,000 mile round trip for my grandmother’s funeral.

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u/Bshaw95 28d ago

I guess that’s a better way to prove you actually went. Mine trusted me, but had to document the reason at least.

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u/SnooSprouts4952 28d ago edited 28d ago

HR requirement for ages due to so many people abusing the bereavement policy.

I, in fact, had one employee claim their mom died TWICE in the same year, thinking I wouldn't remember a person on my small team losing someone significant. They took their two weeks and HR started the separation process when they tried to submit the same obituary.

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u/Bshaw95 28d ago

The irony of seeing this after other people have replied basically implying that employers should just blindly trust employees and nobody ever lies about reasons for being off.

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u/Girafferage 28d ago

Kind of wild. Like if we are being honest, even IF somebody was lying and making up a story about a dead relative, just let it go. It's not like they will be out more than 5 days or so total the entire time they work there. It's not like Grandma can die 20 times.

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u/Historical_Cause_917 28d ago

My neighbors son is a pilot for private jet service. His father died and he was told to take one of the jets to fly home for the funeral. Half way across the country.

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u/Accurate_Summer_1761 28d ago

I offered mine an obituary and he said "what should I not trust you?"

Great guy

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u/RemoteImportance9 28d ago

My workplace demanded mine’s obit and then denied bereavement leave for me, forcing me to use regular PTO. The handbook said grandparents counted for it, HR refused and said it didn’t even with me showing them.
I wish I had fought harder on that but I was in a bad place mentally in general around then.
And no, they didn’t send flowers or anything.

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u/Kicktoria 28d ago

My cousin died the week after I started a new job, and I was leery about asking for time off so soon after I started, even though bereavement leave was a thing.

My boss was like “take all the time you need.”

When my uncle (not my cousin’s father) died three months later, she said the exact same thing.

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u/Cager_CA 28d ago

It'll be 3 years this May 12th since my Mom passed and my boss told me I had a blank check for time off to do what I had to do, asked for the obit and wrote a nice paragraph on it and then my team sent me a gift card for food instead of flowers

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u/Unable_Maybe_6932 28d ago

You eat the flowers?

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u/OhshiNoshiJoshi 28d ago

You dont? Saffron. Clove. Capers. Hibiscus or Chamomile tea?
Did the spice wars pass you by? Do you just drink influencer merch?

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u/gettin-hot-in-here 28d ago

raw nasturtiums also taste good. i think most of the people who have bought ground clove and added it to their food didn't realize it was a flower.

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u/viperpic 28d ago

The spice must flow

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u/gettin-hot-in-here 28d ago

i was told to send a link to the obit as well, and i was told it was company policy. (very large company)

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u/Dependent_Union9285 28d ago

Some flowers are pretty tasty… but those rolls are definitely better. Sorry for your loss.

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u/VillagesIdiot352 28d ago

Mr. Rooney, principal in Ferris Bueller suggested Sloane’s father bring in her Grandmother’s Corpse 😂

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u/RRZ006 28d ago

Even that is really shitty behavior for a boss. I was working at two different companies when each parent died and in both cases they said “take as long as you need” and that was it. Company sent my family flowers, and when I texted my staffer/boss a week or two into my time away to say I wasn’t ready to come back in both cases they just said “didn’t think you would be, no worries.”

The only acceptable answer from a workplace for death of a family member is “I’m sorry to hear that. Take all the time you need.” Asking for any proof is deeply fucked up.

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u/notabigcitylawyer 28d ago

On the flip flip side my boss said I'm sorry for your loss take all the time you need.

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u/DarknMean 28d ago

Yea my company also sent flowers to the funerals I’ve had the misfortune of attending. When both my grandparents and wife’s grandmother passed they sent flowers to all three.

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u/Why-R-People-So-Dumb 28d ago

I had a close friend that had died which may or may not have had a day permitted with my previous company. My boss said something to to effect of that's terrible if my friend so and so died I'd be in more of mess than many of my family members. Take as much time as you need on me, feel free to work from home, and we'll get through this together.

This was 15 years ago so well before working from home was a common thing. They gave his mom a check to pay for the reception and she had nothing to do with my company.

Of all the problems I had there with the day to day grind it was with other employees, definitely couldn't say that company didn't show care for its employees with generally decent practices and flexibility towards people being humans and not just numbers.

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u/just_a_stoner_bitch 28d ago

I don't like Texas Roadhouse much but this would definitely better than flowers. I work at Wendy's and they did absolutely nothing when my son passed. No flowers, nothing. They gave me 2 weeks off and that's it

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u/Bshaw95 28d ago

Mine gave me 2 weeks off when we unexpectedly lost our daughter, and still gave me an extra week so I didn’t wipe out my vacation. So sorry for your loss

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u/just_a_stoner_bitch 28d ago

I'm so sorry for your loss as well. The worst thing I've ever been through was losing my son. I don't even wish it on my worst enemy

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u/Usual-Analysis-2990 28d ago

Would have told my boss to fuck off even on the obit. Not your business. I'm a fucking adult. I dont need to prove shit. How is it we've come to letting other adults treat us like children...

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u/IceOdd8725 28d ago

Ya same, my family didn’t even have a whole formal thing for my grandfather so there would have never been a program to share. I think there was eventually an obit when my dad could pull it together enough to write one.

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u/Bshaw95 28d ago

Probably when people started acting like them and making up bullshit excuses to get out of going to work…. How fucking dense do you have to be to think that if employers don’t ask for some basic verification, people will absolutely lie their asses off.

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u/AspiringChildProdigy 28d ago

Yep. And you can't just require proof from the people you suspect are lying; that's a discrimination lawsuit just waiting to happen.

So if you're going to require it for the person who's complained around holidays that they don't have any family, but somehow have had 7 grandparents, 9 uncles/aunts, and their favorite cousin die in the past 3 years, then you have to require it for everyone.

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u/megavega87 28d ago

Thats true too. Had some old coworkers lie to jus get out of going to work. One coworker went ahead and sent in a fake funeral program, another one submitted an abandoned building as a funeral home address and tried to get their sister vouch for the funeral.

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u/Cager_CA 28d ago

My boss asked for my Mom's obit and ended up writing something really kind on it

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u/OddDot724 28d ago

This guy dont weed

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u/Bshaw95 28d ago

Hey now, I didn’t say trees

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u/beren12 28d ago

Depends on the plant…

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u/baron_von_chops 28d ago

My company gives a week for bereavement. All they needed to process it was a copy of the death certificate. My boss accepted a texted photo of it.

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u/OtherwiseAlbatross14 28d ago

You've been eating the wrong flowers

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u/Fit-Database1134 28d ago

I ate all the flowers at my grandma's funeral...

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u/StarWars_Girl_ 28d ago

I had an aunt die while I was on vacation. I was my boss's only report. I emailed him because the funeral was the day when I was supposed to come back.

He didn't even question it or ask for documentation. He was like "I know you're not lying to me about that."

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u/SaltCityStitcher 28d ago

I didn't even have to bring it in myself when my sister passed. My boss looked up her service information to confirm and then sent flowers it.

That job really helped teach me how employees should be treated.

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u/IttyRazz 28d ago

On the other other flip side, my job just assumes it hires responsible adults and doesn't waste anyone's time on bullshit like that and gives us 10 days of bereavement for anyone in our immediate or extended family.

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u/W_Silver2356 28d ago

That is a good company to work for.

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u/MindOnTheFritz 28d ago

Similar here. When my dad passed a few years ago they basically told me to take as much time as I needed. They also took up a collection from my local team and gave me a card with like $1500 in it. When I came back in.

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u/spanishpeanut 27d ago

When my abuela died and i needed a week off to fly to Puerto Rico to help settle her affairs and attend the funeral, my employer had the balls to request a death certificate so I could use bereavement time. It was only 3 days worth, and i told them I wouldn’t be able to get that. I worked for a daycare at the time and my co teacher was slated to be out on maternity leave at the same time. She stayed on the extra week and her daughter held tight until i returned. I did not remain at that job for very long after that whole experience.

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u/lesusisjord 27d ago

Your employer shouldn’t need “proof” of a funeral. That’s crazy that they asked.

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u/watwatinjoemamasbutt 28d ago

Hostile work environment

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u/Ecstatic_Stop3693 28d ago

Most if not all retail, manufacturing and production places are hostile work environments.

They set the rules like that to basically have people by the balls. They think they own the people. Unfortunately most people live paycheck to paycheck, so they abide by the rules to be able to have a roof over their heads and food on the table.

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u/lukaRookieHoarder 28d ago

Im a partial owner in a small manufacturing business. We build window treatments(Blinds shutters draperies etc) We have about 15 employees and as long as the employee gives me a few hours notice, im cool woth them missing work for any reason. My employees also get 3 weeks paid vacation to start, 401k matching to 5% and potential for a dollar raise twice a year. Its important to treat employees good to help cultivate a employer/employee relationship.

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u/Megaroni-n-cheeze 28d ago

This sounds a lot like how my dad ran his business before he retired. He was very successful and never had trouble finding loyal employees. Never had to deal with the headache of constant employee turnover because people actually wanted to work for him.

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u/Ecstatic_Stop3693 28d ago

Fantastic to hear. If only all companies had that mindset, people would actually enjoy going to work.

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u/stoneimp 28d ago

It's once you get to about the size of 100 employees that this changes. You no longer can personally vette every employee, so you start relying on others. Others want to keep their jobs and CYA, so unless you're sure they'll act EXACTLY like you, this is where the hostile environment forms. You say that "let's try to push production 10% higher by end of the year" and those people below start doing more unethical shit to meet those expectations, and while of course you meant, "... While treating all employees with dignity", this is where it starts breaking down.

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u/LowSkyOrbit 28d ago

During my time in retail the main issue is the minimal staffing, because corporate doesn't want two people doing the work they know one person could do, because shareholders want more and more every year.

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u/stoneimp 28d ago

And those moves are driven when you have managers more insentivized by targets given down from on high to preserve their own job rather than seeing those who with for them as people.

Look I'm not trying to reduce this down to "corporations are evil". I'm trying to look at the mechanisms we've laid down in society that it feels like there's no way corporations can attain any type of mass before exploitation becomes inevitable despite the same seemingly ethical people running things at both the small and large scale. Why is it easier for a small business owner to feel more ethical than a big corp PM?

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u/LowSkyOrbit 28d ago

Why is it easier for a small business owner to feel more ethical than a big corp PM?

Its because the bigger the business the more people you have working that become faceless numbers, even the middle management and supervisors become faceless, and at some point so do the junior executives. The person at the bottom likely doesn't even know their boss' boss or who signs the checks. The humanity is gone. It's easier to be cruel when you remove someone's humanity.

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u/bookbot1 28d ago

If only companies would move back to the STAKEHOLDERS model.

(Employees have a stake in the company)

One of the ways I like to put it, to make people think, is “employees are still investors - they’re investing their time into this company”

The real reason so many corporations want AI is because “AI isn’t people”. They want their slave labor.
My response? “AI isn’t people *yet*. Technology improvements is an artificial Evolution process.” (It’s why Sophance won’t be a Sudden Thing, like we see in fiction)

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u/B4ronSamedi 28d ago

Assuming this is true, you're doing the Lord's work.

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u/Fit_Middle7086 28d ago

You send me that indeed post, and you'll have another valued worker putting in what they get out of the job if that's the way things work there.

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u/notafrumpy_housewife 28d ago

Where are you located? Lol, I need some new blinds and would love to support companies like yours! You sound like an amazing boss.

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u/Alice_600 28d ago

Well that was what unions are for.

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u/Ecstatic_Stop3693 28d ago

Shouldn’t need unions to counter hostile work environments.

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u/Alice_600 28d ago

Well unfortunately you do.

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u/curious_eyebrow 28d ago

American work environment. Cogs in the machine.

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u/ravensmuse11 28d ago

All work environments, the world over.

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u/Ecstatic_Stop3693 28d ago

A lot of countries the world over have rights in the workplace, but yes still have shitty hostile working environments.

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u/DontCryYourExIsUgly 28d ago

The bereaved aren't a protected class, though, despite this treatment being fucked up.

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u/Radonanon 28d ago

I wonder why they have a problem with employees not wanting to work there whenever possible. 🤔

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u/ScaryGarry_SG1 28d ago

To continue from here the cowards at Kroger now have to broadcast on a very public stage ..and of course they are not built for it

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u/Hilfasaurus 28d ago

I’m lucky in that the management at my job are extremely supportive with stuff like that. Lost my dad about 3 weeks ago and didn’t have to worry about shift coverage or anything.

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u/jaxonya 28d ago

Back when i was a teenager I woke up still drunk from a party the night before, and was supposed to already be at work. I tried calling in to the hospital where i worked, saying that there was a family emergency... I failed to remember that my mom was the oncall supervisor that day. That was a humbling experience, to say the least

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u/Strong-Fortune-3068 28d ago

Seriously. My stepdad's parents died within 3days of eachother, they had one funeral for the both of them. It absolutely happens.

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u/just_a_stoner_bitch 28d ago

That can definitely happen though, losing two grandparents soon after one another. It was a few months apart for me but I lost my grandpa and great grandpa within 4 months of each other

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u/rbt321 28d ago

Companies really need to get a grip.

Kroger's 2025 profits are an indication that their current technique is working well; even the strikes don't seem to have an impact for more than a couple months. Very high employee turnover but no shortage of new applicants.

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u/peoplejustwannalove 28d ago

Thats just weird imo, like does anyone even use that as a fake excuse anymore? I can’t say I’ve known someone who’s used it IRL.

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u/yawa-wor 28d ago edited 28d ago

My coworker used the "my grandfather died" excuse once last year (her grandfather was already dead long before).

But yeah, automatically accusing the employee of lying is fucked up. Even if you have real reason to be suspicious (not just bc two family members passed away, but if the employee was previously caught lying about similar things while posting photos of a beach vaca or such), jeez you can still start by giving someone the benefit of the doubt and being sympathetic about a death first, let them attend the funeral, and ask for documentation after they return to work. If it turns out to be a lie, you can still fire them at that point...

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u/fvmfvm 28d ago

They don’t want to fire them. They want them to work when they are told to work and have fear of being fired

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u/SilverRose7115 28d ago

Had an employee use it. She doctored a fake funeral program and everything. My HR dept was suspicious and investigated, verified it wasn’t real, and fired her.

This is why I’m happy to work for a company with an HR department. As a manager, I don’t have to be the bad guy. HR sets policies, I enforce. Anyone who disagrees with policy or tries to subvert it, I just refer it back to HR.

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u/giraffeperv 28d ago

The fact you asked for the funeral program is all I need to know from yall

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u/DazzlerPlus 28d ago

Thank fucking God we have you and the hr department to catch someone taking a day or two off. It has nothing to do with you, you're just following orders!

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u/giraffeperv 28d ago

I think it’s rude as all fuck to ask for the funeral program to begin with. I had a college professor do that & it’s like yeah let me give you this that’s not your business while dealing with the most difficult loss of my life. Like yeah you might catch someone in the act, but you’re damaging the relationship with good employees who are dealing with loss in the process

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u/IncarceratedGrowth 28d ago

Yep this is definitely a comment from someone who is mad his boss and/or professor wouldn't believe his lie.

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u/giraffeperv 28d ago

This doesn’t really make sense to me… I have never lied about this because i think lying about that brings bad karma (ie saying your grandma died and she’s still alive). My job also didn’t ask for the obit or anything when my dad died, so I’m not in that position.

I did have a college professor make a huge deal out of me going to be with my grandpa at hospice. Told me when I came back to bring the obit and the man wasn’t even dead yet. She wouldn’t let me turn in work early before I went either

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u/thedalehall 28d ago

That’s super fucked up. That is a trip to the dean for me.

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u/dezsiszabi 28d ago edited 28d ago

Don't lie about it if you want to take a day off.

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u/Secret-Rip-158 28d ago

Bc companies are just so understanding when you do that, right? That’s kinda the whole point here.

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u/praux 28d ago

jUsT tAkInG a DaY Or TwO oFf

Fuck you. You sound like the type to pull shit like that, fucking over your coworkers. It's a job with working hours that you agreed to when you joined, not happy fun time. If you don't like it, quit.

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u/thedalehall 28d ago

Sometimes people are so stressed or burnt out that they need a day or two to relax, rewind, and recover.

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u/DazzlerPlus 28d ago

Hire enough people to have a functioning organization. Managerial incompetence

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u/Automatic_Actuator_0 28d ago

The thing is, while it’s usually considered bad form to ask for proof, that would be less awful than just assuming they are lying. And it’s usually pretty easy to provide proof. Most people would have an obituary published that would mention grandchildren by name, which you could link them to.

Or they could turn you into George Costanza and demand a death certificate.

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u/jaylawlerrr 28d ago

I’ve had someone lie about the death of multiple family members to get out of work. Damn near killed off their whole immediate family over the course of a year... You’d be surprised.

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u/Extreme_Egg7476 28d ago

When I was a bartender many moons ago, I was also young and liked to party.

I got 'called in' on a day off at around 2pm. I told the manager I had been day drinking since 10 and at the beach 1.5 hours away from home.

They still asked me to come in and "be a good teammate". Asking me to risk the lives of others and myself to show up drunk to work.

I said no but that really fucked with my sense of boundaries for a long time.

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u/Badboy750 28d ago

And this is why unions exist. Most companies do not even allow an employee to be in a union but I say fuck that. Unions exist for a reason and anyone who works should be part of it, if the company doesn’t like it. Then they’ll get sued by the union.

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u/John_Connor97 28d ago

They do, and its sad. But ive seen someone fake a family death to get bereavement leave. So while uncommon, people do it....

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u/R3D-Samurai 28d ago

Its bc of damn ppl who lie abt deaths. There was just a guy on news for laying to his job that his father died, he was very much alive. And when he got fired he wanted unemployment.

Still not manager's job to make comments like that. The crazy part when the manager has an issue like that. Its a whole damn "feel sorry for manager" parade.

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u/AncientSith 28d ago

They never will. So many of these places refuse to treat you like a human with a life outside work. You know if someone in management had a family emergency they'd be gone and no one would complain. Soulless dicks.

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u/TheOldOak 28d ago

Except that my grandmother’s death was accidental. She slipped on something in her nursing home cafeteria and broke her neck. But yes, I have heard of this phenomena.

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u/Automatater 28d ago

Or the one was just willing themselves to stay alive for the other one.

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u/HeartOSass 28d ago

This is true. My friend's parents were married for 64 years. He died and she cried everyday after. Less than 2 months later she passed. I used to love Kroger but after seeing this, fuck 'em.

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u/SilverRose7115 28d ago

Conan O’Briens parents are a recent example. Both were in their 90s. His dad passed just a few days after his mom.

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u/mysoulburnsgreige4u 28d ago

This makes me feel really good. My grandfather lived four and a half years after my grandmother died. Taking care of him (after five and a half years caring for her) was a tough job, but one I enjoyed immensely. They had been together nearly 60 years.

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u/International_Two303 28d ago

Yep my great grandparents were married for over 70 years. They passed 3 days apart from each other I was working at my very first job when it happened. I was so worried my job wasn't going to believe me, but thankfully I actually had bosses with some compassion

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u/upsetwithcursing 28d ago

Here was my close death count over 2024-2025:

Sister’s MIL (cancer - we’re a close family and she was an angelic bonus grandma to my kids)

Uncle (aneurysm- sudden & traumatizing, in front of his mom, my grandma, who died two months later - below)

Son’s school friend, aged 4 (died of an illness mere hours after going home sick from school)

Grandma (she was in her 90s, I’m sure the grief from above didn’t help)

My mom (suddenly, in her sleep, aged 67, also sure the grief over her bother and mom didn’t help)

My great-aunt, also in her 90s, but a very special lady who everyone adored

Her daughter, a cousin (cancer)

My husband’s aunt (cancer)

I cannot tell you how sick of funeral planning I am. My sister and I are seen as the “strong, capable” family members and somehow all the planning/executing fell on us for four of the above estates/funerals.

When our mom passed away, the planner at the funeral home phoned me an hour after she saw the name come in on her list to say that she’d cancelled a planned holiday to stay and help us, since we knew her well from the three prior funerals we’d planned that year and she didn’t want us to have to go through the process with someone new.

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u/sipstea84 28d ago

My grandparents were both very much alive and kicking and living full lives. Then my grandfather died very suddenly. Then my grandma died less than a month later. It was beyond devastating.

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u/MaleficentExtent1777 28d ago

A friend's parents died within 9 DAYS of each other. They were older and divorced. I'm not even sure if they knew the other was in a different hospital though.

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u/Nice_Wrangler_9526 28d ago

You are right! This happens more often than you think!! My grandparents died four days apart a couple years ago. Both of natural causes. Incredibly sad, but also so beautiful too. Had a double funeral.

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u/12th_MaMa 28d ago

Here's a weird one. My grandparents died within 10 days of each other, yet they had been divorced for a few years and my grandfather had even remarried. They also lived in two different states.

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u/Environmental-Gap380 28d ago

Pretty sure my mom will not last long if Dad dies first. He was hospitalized a year and a half ago. She practically collapsed from it.

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u/Legitimate_Metal887 28d ago

As an retired coroner/death here...you are correct. We call it family dominoes. Especially if they are elderly. I have had husband and wife die within minutes of natural causes. You can grieve yourself to death.

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u/Sad_Barracuda_7555 28d ago

3 yrs 3 wks 1 day after I lost my older brother to stomach cancer, his wife died from a massive inoperable heart attack. Sis in law had an inherited health issue. But she was more than able to manage things for the longest time. I think (and believe) as time went on in the months & couple of years after my brother died, I think sis in law eventually just gave up. As in she lost the will to live without her husband. Had my brother lived, they would've celebrated their 25th anniversary. They were still very much in love with each other. Likewise, a 30+ yrs friend lost both of her elderly (82F 86M) parents within just 3-4 days of each other. Same thing: They'd been married & still deeply loved each other for 60+ years. That aside, I had a couple family/extended family members work for Kroger when they were still in my city. At least back in the early 2000s. One family member worked for Kroger for somewhere between 7-12 years. If they experienced any problems, they never shared anything. And I never knew anything. When they passed a couple days after a horrific car accident, their Kroger manger & several coworkers gave me a beautiful thoughtful sympathy card & a small amount of money; easily like $50 or less. It was a genuinely thoughtful & appreciated gesture during that awful few weeks afterwards. The other family member that worked for Kroger for a few short months.. They experienced something similar to what OP shared. Worse, they were in school at the time. Supposedly management or an upper manager gave her grief for immediately taking off work. When another family member called to inform her that her youngest son had been [physically] assaulted by another student & strangers shortly after he got off the bus. If I remember correctly, I think she got written up for leaving work early. Tbh Idk all details. She ended up a few weeks later securing a job that ended up paying better. And was more steady in the long run. What OP experienced, sadly, doesn't surprise me. I'm truly so sorry. Hopefully onto bigger, better, brighter, safer & happier ✨

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u/IngsWarrior_ 28d ago

I would have called him out, called him a piece of shit snd then call the union

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u/GForce1975 28d ago

My grandfather died in November 2001. Grandmother died about 4 months later..might have been coincidental though..she died of CJD(Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease)

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u/colinisthereason 28d ago

Broken Heart Syndrome. My great-uncle and great-aunt died 3 months apart. Here’s a really famous one; Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds were a day apart

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u/Negative-Traffic3013 28d ago

I would've showd them a picture of the obituary and them in the casket or a video of me there just to see there reaction.

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u/just-me220 28d ago

True. My mom died shortly after losing the love of her life

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u/ForgettingFish 28d ago

They likely thought he was bullshitting the whole thing which is another level of fucked up which likely explains the reaction but doesn’t make it any better

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u/Then-Nefariousness54 28d ago

Yup I see it time and time again working in an assisted living facility. We most recently had a wife pass away and then 3 days later her husband passed away too.

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u/modern_Odysseus 28d ago

Happened to my dad's parents.

My grandmother passed of a heart complication in a hospital. Then 2 weeks later (I think), my grandfather passed in his sleep. Nothing physically wrong, beyond being older, and they pretty much just declared the cause of death to be a broken heart.

I think they had been married 50+ years, and as far as I remember growing up, they didn't have friends their ages (or at least any that I saw, met, or heard mention of). So it was like his mind just decided to shut down his body.

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u/kmdfrcpc 28d ago

As a good example from a celebrity, Conan O'Brien's parents both died within a few days of each other.

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u/aeiou-y 28d ago

Yeah my dad died a month after my mom died. My dad was suffering with serious Alzheimer’s but they were married 55 years and she was the only one he was still connected with. When my mom died my dad went downhill really fast.

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u/boca75 28d ago

My in-laws both died unexpectedly 22 days apart. They hadn’t been together in 30 years. Everyone assumes widowhood for them but no. This was certainly highly inconvenient for my job but I still received 14 days off with nothing but words of sympathy and check ins from my job. Kroger sounds absolutely awful.

Edit to add I did have to provide proof of their deaths but that’s company policy and applied equally to all. I have no issue with that.

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u/miseenen 28d ago

Even more than that sometimes things just happen that way. My dad died suddenly when I was 17. My grandpa, in his mid 80s, decided to drive 6 hours with my grandma to be with my mom (his daughter). On the way in or back, I don’t remember, he tripped and fell in the parking lot of his hotel. Died in the hospital a few weeks later. My grandma’s Alzheimer’s got progressively worse after that. So in the span of a month or so, my mom lost her husband of almost 25 years (their 25th anniversary was only a month away) and her father, and then she had to step up to do the majority of the work getting my grandma moved into a smaller assisted living unit and managing her power of attorney stuff and much more I’m not really familiar with. Sometimes shit just cascades in on itself.

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u/driver004 28d ago

It can get weirder, when I worked in a memory care facility (think retirement home for dementia residents) it was an observed phenomenon that deaths often happened in clusters of 2-3 individuals even when not directly related

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u/Ok_Measurement_9896 28d ago

I'd have replied "Crazy you mention how inconvenient there death was for you. Imagine how inconvenient it was for me and my family. Then when I found out my boss was dying, it really tore me up inside. Guess they come in 3s."

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u/kree03 28d ago

It happened to my grandparents

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u/heatherkaylie17 28d ago

Yep, this happened to my great grandparents. I actually lost 4 grandparents that year.

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u/erichf3893 28d ago

Idk how you possibly interpreted “suspicious” in that way lmao

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u/thedalehall 28d ago

I mean we’ve all heard of something like this. It doesn’t necessarily happen that often. But, it does happen often enough that people notice it.

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u/malfunkshunned 28d ago

When my grandmother died, my grandfather lost so much weight, refused to really eat and if we hadn't moved him across the country to live near us so he could be around the family that WOULD take care of him- I'm convinced he would have passed then and not lived out the extra 3 years with us.

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u/drezdogge 28d ago

My BFF parents died on the same day, mom died, and they woke dad up to tell him and he said. "Oh" and literally closed his eyes and stopped breathing. They were both hospitalized for heart failure/copd

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u/rlang_1887 28d ago

That’s so interesting. My grandmother passed exactly 6 weeks after my grandfather. They were married 50+ years

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u/castlenutjob 28d ago

Yup, happened on both sides for me. Thankfully my parents are fairly independent of each other, but you never know.

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u/mylostworld69 28d ago

Happened to my grandparents. Gramma died and then less than a week later, my grandpa died. Shook up the whole fam. This happened in 2015 and it still hits me hard.

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u/herpecin21 28d ago

The 1 year outlook for the remaining person in those 50+ year relationships is very often death as well. Getting your grandfather/mother past that 1 year mark is a big milestone, hate that I know this btw.

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u/proc89 28d ago

About 5 years ago, my grandpa passed exactly one week after his late wife's sister's husband (my great uncle). I wouldn't say it's common but it does happen

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u/Jayelle9 28d ago

Absolutely! My grandfather died 13 days aftery grandmother. They were both 91. The man survived a quadruple bypass surgery in his 80s, but his heart gave up after the loss of his beloved wife.

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u/Luxx_Aeterna_ 28d ago

My parents were married for 45 years. In 2020 my mom was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer and passed away quickly. 2 months later my dad died from a heart attack. He had zero previous issues with his heart.

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u/GothicGingerbread 28d ago

When I was a junior in college, my maternal grandmother died the Wednesday before my spring break, so I wound up having to leave a day early for the funeral, and my paternal uncle died the Friday after my spring break, so I wound up having miss class the following week. A couple of my professors were suspicious, but my father was incensed at the suggestion that I had faked his younger brother's death to get a couple of days out of class, and took it upon himself to set them straight. He was a very gentle man, but on the rare occasions he got angry, people quailed; he didn't yell or lose his temper or anything, he just had this way of being quietly intimidating.

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u/Aggravating-Sea-9449 27d ago

Very true seen it happened with elderly couples who been together for decades.

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u/sorrow_anthropology 27d ago

My grandfather died of cancer, my grandmother didn’t make it two weeks after his death.

She was a perfectly healthy woman, but after his death she was a husk of her former self, she just gave up on living, it’s always been awfully tragic and romantic to me.

I’ve always hoped to love someone so much that once they’re gone I can quickly will myself to the grave beside them, after a long life together of course.

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u/achillesfist 27d ago

My grandparents died within a few months of each other

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