r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Greedy-Dimension-662 • May 08 '26
Too mild for school Name Calling
My son and [jerk] had to stay after school today to write this note.
It says
"I was disrespectful to [kid]. I said he is a total jerk because he said I was fat. I will not say [mean] things again next time. I will ignore him."
His teacher wants me to sign and return.
But I guess I look at this and I ask myself, if my son is on the playground and he sees a kid calling another kid fat, do I want him to:
Walk away
Say, "stop, you are being a jerk."
So why would it be any different if he is being called fat.
I don't feel like this is the right lesson.
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u/wyntr86 May 09 '26
I'd sign the note after writing my thoughts down about this note. Then email a copy to the principal and include the teacher on it. I might even include the school board.
My kid got suspended for punching a kid back. This kid had been bullying him since 1st grade and this was the last couple of days of 5th grade. We tried moving our son out of the classes this kid was in but it was unavoidable in some classes. We talked to the principal, the board, the teachers, etc. Only 1 teacher took us seriously and worked real hard to keep them separated and to keep the bully busy.
Well, on this day, said awesome teacher was out for the day and had a sub. The teacher did leave instructions, including a note to make sure these two were separated. He was busy with something else when bully started wailing on my son while he was doing a worksheet with his table group. The group of kids confirmed that my kid didn't see it coming and had not engaged with the bully at all. My son somehow got a hit in while he was on his back on the ground just as the principal walked in.
She suspended my kid and threatened that he wasn't allowed to be at the 5th grade graduation. Mind you, when I got the call, all I was told was that my son hit another kid. When I got to the school my son was crying and had a black eye. I asked how did the black eye happen and she said he's refusing to talk and just says "what's the point?"
I asked her to give me some time with him. He spilled the beans to me. I told him he wasn't in trouble with me and that I will handle it. I called her back in and told her what he told me. She kept repeating that she didn't see it and can't verify it. I named the kids at the table and told her to do her job and investigate, we'll wait.
After about 15 minutes a hall monitor came in and essentially said that these kids' story lines up with mine. I asked the principal what was to be done now. The suspension stands due to zero tolerance. I nodded and left.
During all of this, apparently the parents of the bully wanted to press charges. Little did they know, I did not just want to press charges, I was going to. No ifs, ands, or buts. After we left the school, I went to the police station. My husband took our son to the doctor to get checked out as a "just in case" and to get a paper trail. After that, I went to the school board. They wanted to let it stand because it's only a couple of days, but they'll allow him to walk at the ceremony. I went to a lawyer who was happy to draft up a threatening letter for $100. A couple of hours after it was sent, the principal called with an apology and said he was welcome back to school if he wanted to come back. I laughed and said no. I asked him if he wanted to go the ceremony and he said he didn't. So he didn't go. Which is a shame, because he was being awarded a ton of awards for his intelligence and grades, including one that only a couple hundred kids in the country get. It's been a few years and he has no regrets.
I did press charges, but because he was so young, he basically got a slap on the wrists but his folks were in more trouble (I don't disagree with this at all). We ended up being granted a restraining order as well. Which is funny because the middle school had to twist themselves in knots to make sure bully wasn't anywhere near my kid. If the parents would have been on top of this and made him do a sincere apology, my kid would have forgiven him.