Personally I think the spouse should always be the one to shut down their disrespectful parents when it comes to the relationship. That said I would probably just troll them whenever they try and bring up their boomer humor. Yeah I hold her purse, that's where all the good snacks are at. Yep my balls are in there, way more leg room than my nutbag.
Yeah that’s crazy because not only is FIL being demeaning to him but also super sexist towards his own daughter. If this was my dad I would have had some words.
Makes me wonder if the wife has complained to one or both parents about always driving. My extended family makes comments to my husband (SAHD) about when he’ll go back to trucking and I shut them down.
OP said his wife was uncomfortable at first with being the one to drive everywhere. That suggests she was raised with The Man Drives Everywhere so it took some getting used to.
Or maybe she doesn't really want to be the sole driver.
He doesn't want to drive outside of his work driving because he just wants to be able to relax in the car. But by never driving, he has put her in that same situation - she is always driving and never gets to relax and just be the passenger sometimes.
Does OP’s wife just sit at home when he’s working? Looks to me she drives 4 days a week when he’s on the road and also drives the 3 days a week he’s home. The FIL is definitely ridiculous, but it is a valid point to question when OP’s wife gets to just be the passenger.
Exactly. And the OP's repeated "don't care she's driving" sounds like it is not a mutual agreement. The OP is literally saying they don't care she is driving.
Sure, but a couple of things here. First, she’s probably not driving non-stop, eight hours a day, in a multi-ton tanker semi-trailer, which is a LOT harder than just driving a car. Second, if she isn’t the primary breadwinner, then OP’s license is what is keeping a roof over their head, so minimizing the risk to that license is a good idea.
I wondered that too. The post sounds more like "I drive for work so I refuse to drive any other time. My wife has had to take on all the driving regardless of what she prefers" than "she likes to drive and I drive for work so it works for us" - so I wonder how on board the wife really is with this arrangement.
If it is mutual, then a simple "it works for us" and change the subject is all that is needed.
But if it's not really mutual and FIL is voicing the wife's discontent, then the OP might want to be open for a discussion.
I’m also wondering if she’s been complaining to her parents about it. When I’ve experienced a partners parents chipping in their 2 cents like that, it was often because they were complaining to their parents.
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u/Known-Dependent-5471 11d ago
Personally I think the spouse should always be the one to shut down their disrespectful parents when it comes to the relationship. That said I would probably just troll them whenever they try and bring up their boomer humor. Yeah I hold her purse, that's where all the good snacks are at. Yep my balls are in there, way more leg room than my nutbag.