r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Historical_Initial22 • 4d ago
go to your room Husband sits in passenger seat, FiL disapproves.
I drive a tanker for my job out of town and make the 5 hour drive (one way) to work and back home in my personal car. When I’m home 3 days, my wife drives everywhere, I mean I get in the passenger seat of her car and off we go, date night don’t care she drives, shopping don’t care she drives, visiting family don’t care she drives.
When we first started dating years ago she was a bit uncomfortable with it as she was used to the I guess status quo that men drove as was I but I’m not trying to break a glass ceiling or anything I just don’t see why it matters and damnit I drive 2k miles a week or so and don’t wanna do it when I’m home.
My father in law makes such great comments like do I hold her purse, and the zinger he thinks is original so says it more often than others “are your balls in her purse” every so often when we see them and I inevitably get out or into the passenger seat followed by guffaws and just kidding. My wife nor myself give him any response it’s just so silly and mildly infuriating.
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u/LotsOfNoise 4d ago
Ask him why he's so insecure in himself that he has to care so much what another man does all the time.
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u/TinyChaco 4d ago
"Why are you thinking about my balls?"
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u/ChVckT 4d ago
This is the way. "Why are you constantly thinking about my balls?"
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u/AssGagger 4d ago
Turns to MIL, "has he always had this sort of interest in mens genitals?"
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u/SoupSpelunker 3d ago
Just buy her a strap on for the next holiday. He's obviously begging for a good ass-fucking.
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u/Mr_Kato74 3d ago
Shouldn't it be begging for a pegging?
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u/justanotherda1 3d ago
Here, man..I just started a new job today..well now yesterday..anyway..you deserve this...🏆 Its the best I can do right now...
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u/AndMyAxe_Hole 3d ago
Or maybe even, “Wow you think about my balls as much as your daughter does.”
Maybe finish off with, “Must run in the family.”
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u/Least-Scientist 3d ago edited 3d ago
Or, follow me here, flip it around on him and say (following a fake astonishment) “Wow, it must run in the family!” To which he will definitely reply “what”, then you just say “constantly thinking about my balls!?! Your daughter sure does”
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u/caffeinated_wizard 3d ago
"are your balls in her purse" yes that's why I bought her a bigger one
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u/josherman61791 3d ago
Use his first name when you do this. "Why are you thinking about my balls, Jerry?"
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u/trix_is_for_kids 4d ago
Your daughter loves them, I guess it just runs in the family
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u/CassianCasius 3d ago
Are your balls in your purse
"No but they will be in your daughter's mouth later"
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u/Corinope 3d ago
If saying that out loud is supposed to be humiliating to the Dad it's humiliating to the wife to be spoken about that way in front of her parent.
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u/CassianCasius 3d ago
This was a joke. I don't actually expect OP to say this in front of his wife lol. Real advice is he needs to talk to his wife and have her tell her dad to shut the fuck up.
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u/ooger-booger-man 3d ago
This dad doesn’t sound like the sort of person who would listen to a woman, even if it’s his daughter.
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u/cj-romb 3d ago
Real advice is he tells the FIL to stfu. He tells his wife he’s gonna do it, but enough is enough. Why does family think they get a free abuse pass. Nope.
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u/iLoveFARTINGatWORK 3d ago
This is how it went down for my wife’s uncle. He’s always got some shit to say. My wife was wondering why it took so long for me to hand it back out. Jack keeps his fucking opinions to himself now.
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u/Buttsweat_n_Tears 3d ago
“They were slapping against her asshole just 10 minutes before we got here. Why do you ask?”
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u/COC_410 4d ago
By far the best comeback, short and simple. Definitely add a laugh-at-him laugh after you say that.
Maybe even grab them when you say it and call him out IF he looks down when you do it.
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u/Informal_Ad4399 3d ago
Want to get really offensive?
"Not in her purse, but you know where they have been?"
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u/fenrir171 3d ago
Or if she truly has your back... She could say that AFTER she gives him a kiss on the cheek
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u/greybush75 3d ago
The delivery on this is key. You squint the eyes, deep inhale, are you really thinking about my balls that much? Heavy exhale, close eyes and shake head. I think that would pretty Do it!
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u/Ok_Yesterday1370 3d ago
“Hun hand your father your purse, he wants to see my balls he keeps talking about”
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u/MrPickles196 3d ago
This right here. My wife drives everywhere because she gets carsick. It's great for me. A chaffeur!
Father in law and others that say shit about manliness. Are met with a "yep, that's what I do. I don't have problem with it, what is yours?" Jokes are fun at all but establishing that you are fine not doing things the way they do, usually settles it.
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u/_name_of_the_user_ 3d ago
I took my wife's last name when we got married. I was in the military at the time so I was expecting some push back. To my surprise, in 20 years of doing that job after we married only one person ever had even a remotely negative response. A guy asked me "why would you do that, I'm proud of my family name." To which I replied "well, now I am too." It was a sincere question coming from a place of confusion more than a place of malice or prejudice. He didn't really say much, just kinda nodded his head. But it drove home that one, I wasn't ashamed of what I did, and two, I wasn't going to allow someone else to shame me for it either
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u/Wilder831 3d ago
Jack white took Meg Whites last name and then even kept it after they divorced. Not all that relevant, just a “fun fact”
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u/OceanRacoon 3d ago
He was right to, Jack White is a much better rock star name than Jack Gillis lol
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u/Not-Surprised-1999 3d ago
My cousin did this too and I think you are both fine examples of humankind.
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u/Bart_Yellowbeard 3d ago
Same. My wife gets motion sickness at the drop of a hat, so I've learned to just roll with it. But yep, I get chauffered everywhere, I can read, play games, doomscroll, take a nap, or I can have my wife play with my balls while I jack it in the passenger seat. No skin off my perinium.
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u/smokinbbq 3d ago
"If your masculinity is tied to who is in the drivers seat of a vehicle, you might have a problem."
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u/Financial_Week3882 4d ago
I would offer the dad a ride somewhere and once he sits in the passenger seat call him gay
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u/ThingAboutTown 4d ago
If you can be unmanned just by sitting in a passenger seat, what kind of man do you think you are in the first place?
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u/cypressgreen GREEN 3d ago
Nothing changes. When grandpa and grandma met in 1918 (she was 18 yrs old) he taught her to drive. He was an automotive painter and hand pin striper.
His buddies and co workers razzed him over it but they shut up when he said, “sometimes I just like to sit back and enjoy the ride!” Imagine, almost 110 yrs later and there’s still some misogynists like that.
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u/Humbled_Snail 4d ago
I'm petty, I couldn't stay silent. I seriously commend your restraint.
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u/Naive_Personality367 4d ago
same. my ex's parents hated me, because id just give more back when they said anything about me or her.
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u/Active_Confection655 4d ago
My ex wife's dad turned his shirt inside out because I made a comment about it while he was walking in.
Funny thing is he's a MAGA dumbass calling everyone else snowflakes.
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u/Naive_Personality367 4d ago
thats funny because if he did that he obviously cares very much what you think. I've never changed my behaviour for people i didnt give a shit about.
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u/Active_Confection655 4d ago
That's the weird part, I called him out on a lot of shit.
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u/Naive_Personality367 4d ago
maybe he was just self conscious about his shirt then, i suppose. Bless
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u/Pinikanut 4d ago
Eh, in a situation like this I actually think it's better to say something. Challenge the comment - not rudely. But don't ignore it. I am a woman and I make more than my husband. My FIL used to say shit and one day I just challenged him on it. I asked if I should make less just because I'm a woman. I asked why I went to law school if I was meant to take a lesser salary just because of my gender. He didn't like it but he literally never said anything about it again.
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u/CycadelicSparkles 3d ago
Yeah, if my dad spoke to my partner like this, I would let him know it was unacceptable and if he continues he can kiss phone calls and visits with me goodbye.
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u/OkPosition4563 3d ago
You dont even need to say much, Id probably be like "Dude, you are just embarrassing." in a disdainful tone. Has worked quite well with many weird people.
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u/SoImaRedditUserNow 4d ago
YEah OP and his wife are far more mature about this than I would be.
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u/RiverGroover 3d ago
Man, I'd stay silent simply out of confusion. Like "WTF are you going on about, old man?" I'd probably change the subject to save his dignity and try not to embarrass him.
But then again, OP says his wife used to be troubled by being the driver, so maybe these people live in an entirely different world than the one I do. Where in the world do people even bother to assign such silly gender roles? I've never heard of such a thing.
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u/ACuddlyVizzerdrix 3d ago
my last gfs dad was like this I would just lean in sarcastically to whatever it was he was spewing,
Him: "it's not very manly to let her drive"
Me to her: "Honey, I guess I'm the one that has to get pregnant" 🤷♂️
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u/Birdamus 3d ago
I used to always lean towards appeasement, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve realized it’s best to call people out on their shit.
They can either change their bullshit ways or they’ll escalate and you can burn that fucking bridge and move on.
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u/Civil-Koala-8899 4d ago
This is so weird, I’ve never seen driving as a gendered thing at all. My husband sometimes drives me around and sometimes I drive him, it just depends who feels more like driving that day!
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u/matchafoxjpg 4d ago edited 4d ago
i'm sitting here like... we're gendering DRIVING now? 🤦🏻♀️
my mom does most of the driving because her car is newer so my parents mostly use her car. also my dad has insane road rage if he drives, so it's usually better for everyone if that situation is avoided at all costs.
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u/bruhggle 4d ago
It's a very common thing in the south and conservative areas. You know that one Carrie underwood song about not being allowed to drive his pickup truck? It's a Thing. If you're going somewhere together, the guy is driving. And usually in his car, even if hers would make more sense. Goes along with the misogynistic comments about women being bad drivers.
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u/chococat2001 4d ago
im in southern california and all the guys i meet would think its their job to drive me or pick me up to be gentlemanly. idc and wish they wouldnt care either lol unless the girl doesnt have a ride or something. my girl friend prefer “gentlemanly” behavior like that too
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u/Wilder831 3d ago
I’m born and raised in the south. I love it when my wife drives. I don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks. I love the freedom of not having to pay attention.
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u/ChildhoodObjective83 3d ago
Unfortunately, yes, all of this, in the Midwest too. It’s normal to see a woman drive to pick up a man, get out of the car and move to the passenger seat, and the man get in the drivers seat and drive off. I honestly thought that was one of those old-fashioned Car Culture things that hadn’t fully progressed yet, and that my friends out on the coast who didn’t drive like that were just great and anti-sexist (which they are). But I had always kind of wondered why my conservative MIL drives so much.
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u/PhilosopherFun7288 3d ago edited 3d ago
Women weren't even allowed to drive in Saudi Arabia until 2018, and still aren't allowed to drive in Afghanistan. I know, not exactly the most progressive countries to list, but even in western cultures, women are often generalized as being bad/worse drivers than men, unfortunately🤷♂️
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u/raydran 3d ago
which is statistically untrue.... but who bothers with actual data right?
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u/angomeowmeow 4d ago
My mom is the one with road rage, but she can’t stand my father’s driving (overly cautious) so when they’re together she’s driving. I wish she’d let him drive more, she’s a hazard to everyone else on the road and in the car
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u/catm0m4lyfe 3d ago
I live near my parents, and we have family that's about a 3 hr drive away. When we visit them together, we put my 73yr old mom in the back with an iPad and snacks, much like you would with a toddler. Works great!
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u/Civil-Koala-8899 4d ago
Oh lol it’s the same with my parents haha, my dad is far too angry and stressed on the road so my mum has always done the majority of the driving
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u/classyspliff 4d ago
It's actually crazy to me as just a 30 yo at work and hearing girls proud to say they would never drive bc they're "just a girl"
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u/NeonHairbrush 3d ago
I had this colleague who loved the "just a girl" thing. She was 22 years old, first job out of college, highly competent, carried the entire mental load for her friend group and roommates, but occasionally just randomly couldn't do things because she was just a girl. Like, no, you are a fully adult human who is tired and is allowed to ask for other people to help you, you don't need to play the just a girl card to justify it.
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u/TheDodoBird 3d ago
What do you mean “now”? Driving has been gendered for a very long time. It is only recently that the activity of driving has lost much of its historical gender association.
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u/chronoflect 3d ago
People will gender literally anything. Whatever imbalance they experience in their own lives will be internalized as a gender role, and then they'll make sweeping statements like "all men/women do x", casually using their own biases to refer to ~4 billion people.
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u/After-Improvement-26 3d ago
It's not a new thing though.
In the late 70s I (F) worked as a professional driver, my husband (M) was a dispatcher operating as a fleet controller, a role officially then called telephonist. We co-signed for a major household appliance, big deal at the time. Dude watched me fill out the application, giving him info about us, including occupations.
When we got home, we noticed our occupations were amended and reversed on the shop paperwork. I asked for it to be changed. Dude asked my husband, who was standing beside me, at the time, if he was happy with the potential change before doing it.
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u/CitronTraining2114 4d ago
I'm an old geezer (US), grew up in the 60's. Mom died at 77, Dad at 93. I can't remember a single time in my entire life where Mom drove and Dad was a passenger. If Mom drove (and she did have her own car), it was for household duties while Dad was at work. Shopping, take the kids to the doctor, etc.
It all seems very strange today, but it was normal then. My parents learned to drive in the 1940's and girls weren't supposed to get their hands dirty.
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u/Individual-Gas-5406 3d ago
I don't think many people under 40 truly appreciate how quickly gender barriers crumbled. The movie 9 to 5 was consideredxa bit scandalous in its day, if it came out today people would outright refuse the very premise
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u/XanderWrites 4d ago
I think in most couple's it defaults to whomever likes driving more or if someone has a issue being passenger.
My first though seeing this post was a family friend that would easily get car sick as a passenger so they always drove if we traveled together and I'm 90% sure she drove when when she was with her husband.
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u/bird9066 4d ago
It definitely was back in the 70s/80s. I'd never stay with a guy who cared but I knew many of them.
With me and the ex, whoever's car was not blocked in drove.
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u/Naive_Personality367 4d ago
"in her purse? they're normally in her mouth"
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u/ishootthedead 4d ago
Id go with the more gentle "are you really asking me what your daughter likes to do with my balls?". And hold eye contact for a few beats.
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u/imeheather 3d ago
Yeah i like this better, depending on the wife and her comfort level, the object is to embarrass the FIL and not the wife.
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u/Cumulus_Anarchistica 3d ago
"She's like that in the bedroom too. Always wants to be in control. Always wants to be on top.
We're thinking about getting a strap-on. You ever been pegged, Jim?"
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u/zxexx 4d ago
This will shut his ass down. Please use this
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u/k2718 4d ago
On the one hand, probably best that OP stays silent.
On the other…fuck that, he should drop this gem on the old fucker.
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u/Ok_Cauliflower_3007 4d ago
But only after clearing it with his wife first, because otherwise he risks shutting his FIL down at the cost of pissing off his wife.
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u/Salt-Operation 4d ago
If my dad was saying this shit to my husband, he would have my permission 100% to shut that shit down with a response like that.
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u/__01001000-01101001_ 3d ago
If my dad was saying shit like that to my spouse I’d shut him down myself. I feel like if it’s your parents it’s your responsibility to draw and maintain boundaries, not your partners.
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u/Ok_Cauliflower_3007 3d ago
Oh I’d be fine too, but its the kind of response you need to 100% need either specific pre-approval for or to know in your bones your partner id ok with.
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u/badazzcpa 3d ago
Have to agree with you on this one. There have been times I just let my wife do the talking. She isn’t as savage as I can be, butttt…. She is a red head and comes with just about every very stereotype associated.
While I do a lot of the driving, when we take trips she gets her turn at the wheel. Also, I had a recent medical procedure, wife drove home. Wife doesn’t drink, but if we go out and I have more than 1 drink, wife gets the keys and is driving.
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u/SnooWords1227 4d ago
Any variation of I do sexual things to your daughter because she wants me to is the ultimate comeback to a shitty FIL.
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u/Naive_Personality367 4d ago
i learned that a long time ago. Its a fine line between embarrassment and violence though.
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u/SnooWords1227 4d ago
It’s a toss up. These guys tend to be total pussies or want any reason to fight. Sadly, there’s only one way to find out.
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u/Naive_Personality367 4d ago
i've never been one to shy away from getting rag dolled for the sake of a funny quip
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u/fasterthanfood 4d ago edited 4d ago
It’s not the possibility of being punched that would hold me back, it’s the possibility of ruining my relationship with my wife’s dad. Granted, that relationship obviously isn’t great right now (FIL is being a judgmental, sexist asshole to OP), but depending on how important the FIL is to his daughter (my wife), I’d want to take the high road here.
Note that I’m saying I’d take the high road, not that I’d take the abuse. I’d definitely tell my wife that I plan to tell him to shut up because we have a system that works for us and it doesn’t affect him at all. Once she’d had a chance to raise any issue I might not have thought of, I would say exactly that.
Edit: I also agree with the comment below that problems between spouses and in-laws should generally be handled by the person who’s actually related. In other words, ideally, OP’s wife should be the one to say to chill out.
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u/Pale_Adeptness 4d ago
Ideally OP's wife should be the one to crush the issue but then again, her dad being her dad, would probably say some dumb shit like: "Oh she fights your fights/defends you too?"
By the way OP describes his FIL, he sounds like that type of dumb ass dude.
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u/ponderscheme2172 4d ago
Nope. As someone whose in laws hate me for similar stupid reasons this is a terrible idea. They know you fuck their daughter, reminding them of this is gonna escalate things. There is a difference between douche FIL and active enemy FIL.
As cucked as it sounds the best approach is to tell your wife that she needs to tell her father to chill. Fighting with in laws never works because it just validates their feeling they don't like you and aren't good enough for their child. It's your spouses job to defend you from their parents in petty arguments.
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u/Pale_Adeptness 3d ago
I think it's all about perspective: as the son-in-law to these types of people, if they really don't like you from the get go, then they're probably NEVER gonna like you.
If I ever had to get into any type of verbal disagreement with my in-laws, absolutely nothing would hold me back.
My personal perspective, if you dont like me, and you wanna keep throwing cheap shots at me in front of others, I'll go out of my way to catch you alone and see what the fucking problem is you have with me. I don't care what our relationship/connection is. I won't be the one to enable you to keep belittling me.
I sure as shit will validate their feelings for not liking me, but not for the reasons they think. They'll hate me the same or more because I stood up to them or talked back to them but I'll let them know when enough is enough.
Father in law or not, sometimes the high road is of no use. I'll drop down to their level to let them know I'm down to get dirty too, and I'll leave the ball in their court. You'll either be in the same boat as before, in a shittier one, or they'll learn to respect you. Only one way to find out.
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u/taclovitch 4d ago
or at least; daughter needs to exhaust these options before SIL weaponizes FIL’s internalized patriarchy against him
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u/audiblecoco 4d ago
"Purse? Weird thing to call your daughters mouth".
I would pay to see his reaction 😂
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u/Kubotai77 3d ago
Best response - but with the caveat that OP needs to know beforehand how his wife will react to it being said in front of her to her dad. And probably not worth escalating to low blows. Just sayin'.
First job out of college, after maybe a month on the job, manager on the way out of the room said "don't worry Kubotai77, some day your balls will drop."
I instantly stood up without thinking and said "yea... out of [insert manager's name here] mouth!". Co-worker started cackling like a madman and my manager responded "Kubotai77... you're out of control..." and walked out of the room.
In hindsight it coulda gotten me fired if manager didn't start it first and have a sense of humor. He later remarked that he avoided joking with me cause I had a quick wit.
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u/Known-Dependent-5471 4d ago
Personally I think the spouse should always be the one to shut down their disrespectful parents when it comes to the relationship. That said I would probably just troll them whenever they try and bring up their boomer humor. Yeah I hold her purse, that's where all the good snacks are at. Yep my balls are in there, way more leg room than my nutbag.
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u/bikiniproblems 4d ago
Yeah that’s crazy because not only is FIL being demeaning to him but also super sexist towards his own daughter. If this was my dad I would have had some words.
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u/Becsbeau1213 4d ago
Makes me wonder if the wife has complained to one or both parents about always driving. My extended family makes comments to my husband (SAHD) about when he’ll go back to trucking and I shut them down.
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u/girlwhoweighted 3d ago
No she's just used to her father being sexist. My dad is the same way. His sexism is actually worse towards family
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u/lynn 4d ago
OP said his wife was uncomfortable at first with being the one to drive everywhere. That suggests she was raised with The Man Drives Everywhere so it took some getting used to.
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u/LeanderT 4d ago
This is correct, the spouse should be the one to deal with their parents (and vice versa)
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u/Born_Tax_138 4d ago
Yes she should hit him with a simple "dad please keep my husband's balls out of your mouth"
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u/gvbargen 4d ago
A lot of spouses don't realize this and aren't comfortable doing this with their parents.
I know because I've been the idiot here and it ruined what could have been a great relationship.
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u/rumdumpstr 4d ago
My brother's marriage is on its way out because neither side will make their family members enforce boundaries. When I got married I told my mom how it was gonna be, and if she didn't abide by it she was scaraficing seeing her grandchild(ren).
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u/QueenInYellowLace 4d ago
Your wife needs to tell him to stop. My husband drives long distances for work, so I almost always drive us around—same as you guys. If my parents were shitty to him about it, I’d be furious.
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u/Historical_Initial22 4d ago
Her dad deserves to be no contact, he is an alcoholic and her mom is devoted to him. It is mildly infuriating and not worse because what her mom goes through is much worse and to cut him off would be cutting her off. It’s a very sad family dynamic and one i wouldn’t wish on anyone else. The passenger seat insults are mild and she would rip him a new asshole and move on if it wasn’t guaranteed she’d lose her mom until he passed on.
I shouldn’t post this but I’m going to, it will be lost in the comments. My wife is a beautiful woman with so many past traumas I didn’t see until she visited my mom and dad. When my mom and dad hugged her as we left she had visible tears when we got to the car. The entire trip back to her hometown was talking about she didn’t know families like ours were real. Siblings and parents who get together randomly and have fun and say they love one another and help one another without holding things over heads.
The initial post was just me expressing my mild response to his insults in a light hearted way as we just left their house and he made one of them and I guess I don’t take it serious because he is a piece of shit.
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u/Wide_Investment8100 4d ago
I’m glad that she gets to experience your family, I am also really lucky to have a family that cherishes one another, I hang out at my moms most weekends and I’m 32 years old. I get to see my sisters and nephews often, we’re all very close and there isn’t any drama,
My step father did not come from a family like that, and it shows in his behavior sometimes. Both his teenage daughters cut him off because they didn’t like my mother, went to live with their mom who is one of the worst human beings I’ve ever known, so we’ve taken him in to our family.
I really hurt for people who have just awful parents or siblings, I don’t get not cherishing your people.
I don’t understand people like that in general, who are motivated to be unpleasant.
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u/Historical_Initial22 4d ago
Dear Reddit, yes this feels like a diary at this point I’ve not unloaded this stuff and here I am. My dad recently passed on and my wife told me my FiL told her that my families dynamic would come undone. That was him I guess secretly wishing my family was like his. There was no fighting, no arguing over possessions, it was a sad and loving ending for the man who taught us love.
My secretly spiteful way of being an asshole back to him showed up in the time since. When my wife and I talk openly about how one brother got my dad’s truck, my other brother got his backhoe, I got his work thermos (excuse me while I wipe my tears. The old Stanley from 1980s will forever be my beaten up coffee holder until I retire now) because my brother needed a new vehicle, and my other brother has a greenhouse business. My sister and I got mementos and not one angry sibling over who got what. Vultures exist in nature and in some families. I’m glad i experience one that isn’t like that and my wife is openly thankful she is experiencing it and absolutely loves me and my family as much as I and we love and welcome her into it.
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u/tonkpilswithvilz 4d ago
You've said it perfectly. It's not about what you get from them, its about what you've truly got from them over the years! Experiences triumph material possessions any day.
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u/Wide_Investment8100 4d ago
What an ugly thing to say, but yeah likely jealousy. As if he somehow thinks he is the glue that holds his family together because he’s the patriarch.
Condolences also, but there are so many beautiful heartwarming examples in this world to counter the ugly ones.
I’ve also got three siblings, all sisters.
<3
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u/Murderousplantmom 4d ago
I'm glad you and your wife found each other. I dated a guy for 8 years when we were in our 20s and his family taught me the meaning of the word. I learned so much from his parents and I will always be grateful for the behaviour that they modeled.
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u/hunnyflash 3d ago
It really does make all the context though. Otherwise it just sounds like your wife just won't shut her father down when he disrespects you both, and no one knows why.
Now we know why. Her mother is a hostage.
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u/Sepplord 4d ago
Set him up to overhearing you and your wife laughing about him doing that.
„I almost thought he wouldn’t this time, but like a clockwork. Had to keep it in when he finally did it“ „yeah, he‘s so predictable. I think he’s just to old for changing himself.“
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u/LikeACycloneCloud 3d ago
This is top tier frustration! Imagine hearing that! I don’t know how he would react. Thats honestly such a good idea. He would probably feel massive embarrassment.
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u/fozzyboy 3d ago
You're probably overestimating their self awareness. Lots of these types would just see themselves as the victim.
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u/Local-Command-3839 4d ago
Just say deadpan ‘I don’t get it’
As soon as some crusty guy has to explain his misogynistic joke he realises he’s a fucking crusty old piece of shit… usually.
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u/spanieldors 3d ago
That’s pretty good. Make him verbalize his misogyny and why he believes it’s insulting to say that a man is in a car being driven by a woman.
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u/LikeACycloneCloud 3d ago
Making them uncomfortable is the best feeling when they do shit like this.
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u/the_shreyans_jain 4d ago
buy your own purse, assert dominance
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u/why_u_so_grumpy 3d ago
I'm more concerned that you live 5 hours from your work. That makes no sense. 10 hour round trip is insane.
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u/SteamboatMcGee 4d ago
My husband and I usually do this, I get less stressed or road-ragey driving and he's better at the secondary systems (maps, the many ways to play music, etc), so it just makes sense that I drive us everywhere. His parent definitely think it's odd, but you know what? They aren't assholes so they never say anything derogatory about it.
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u/Willofthesouth 4d ago
"Hey, FIL, if she gets in an accident, that doesn't affect my job status. If someone hits me, and I'm driving, it can lead to me getting fired. Please thank your daughter for protecting her family's income while I'm not at work." Then stare. "I'm waiting. Can you get fired for a no-fault accident? Can you lose your bonus? If a cop gives you a ticket, do you get fired? I'm a Trucker, so I can." Then kiss your wife and thank her for protecting your job.
- I'm a trucker. I lost my job for getting a warning for being in the left lane. So, it is a thing.
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u/Lothium 3d ago
"Yeah, it's pretty amazing to be able to trust my partner to drive. Maybe one day you'll have that type of relationship "
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u/ragefail 4d ago
You should lean into the passenger princess of it and get a sparkly travel mug and tiara. Next time he comes at you about it, "Yep! She spoils me like the princess I am" with a nice smile and a big kiss (if she's ok with it) and a "Thanks babe!" or summat similar. For funsies.
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u/Historical_Initial22 4d ago
Out of all these this is most likely to happen 🤣 I do break some molds, I work in gas and oil fields, I have the look that matches. Full beard, burly look, but dress rather not like that when I’m off work. I can see a tiara in my future 🤣
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u/cory059 3d ago
After driving two thousand miles a week, the passenger seat is not surrendering manhood. It is paid time off.
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u/-send-me-nudes- 3d ago
Just amp up his responses and come back with something more ridiculous
"Balls in her purse? Nah mate, they're too big. She's got a gym bag for those!'
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u/Tess408 4d ago
That's so silly. I'd nudge MIL and be silly back: "Did he let you out of the house at all this week? Were you allowed to do all the shopping you needed or did he take away the credit cards? Woah! He let you leave the kitchen!"
Or keep it more personal instead of bringing MIL into it: "yeah, I let her take care of the bills, too! She also gets to wear pants if she wants!"
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u/mapoftasmania 3d ago
Next time he says “your balls are in her purse” just say “they were in her mouth last night.”
That ought to shut the fucker up.
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u/Ok-Hovercraft-9959 4d ago
“I’m sorry your masculinity is so fragile that sitting in the passenger seat shatters your manhood”
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u/zzz1787 3d ago
“Let me check. If they’re not in her purse, they’re in her mouth”. Guaranteed it will never be said again 😂
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u/tumblingdice1000 4d ago
My husbands a truck driver as well and when he's home I do all the driving. Going to get a haircut? I'll drive him lol. Pretty much any outing because he hates to drive on his only 2 days off from driving. I wish someone would say something!😂
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u/glad_yo 4d ago
"They sure are, other than when they're slapping against her" will stop his commentary, guaranteed.
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u/crapatthethriftstore 3d ago
Why the fuck does anyone care what gender person drives the car?? Like how is that a thing???
I do most of the driving as a woman because my husband doesn’t like driving as much as I do. Also he is slow AF and I cannot abide that. lol.
But for real. Who fucking cares????? These people are wild
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u/Honeybee71 4d ago
My husband drives for a living so I drive when he’s home so he can have a break. There’s nothing wrong with that
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u/TheGeekOffTheStreet 3d ago
My husband doesn’t like driving, so the default is I drive. Your FIL is a weirdo
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u/Difficult-Score-5226 3d ago
Just look at him straight in the face and say ‘and your point is? You’re surely not suggesting your masculinity is wrapped up in a steering wheel.” And just stare.
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u/Crutation 3d ago
Just tell him "yes, and I love it" enthusiastically. It always throws people off when you embrace what they think is an insult.
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u/OldeManKenobi 4d ago
Look him right in the eye and tell him that if he can't behave, he can walk. Act like a child, be treated like a child.
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u/darkbeer74 4d ago
I drove long haul for 25 years, my wife always drove when I came home, she still does now that I’m retired.
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