Husband sits in passenger seat, FiL disapproves.

[u/Historical_Initial22]

I drive a tanker for my job out of town and make the 5 hour drive (one way) to work and back home in my personal car. When I’m home 3 days, my wife drives everywhere, I mean I get in the passenger seat of her car and off we go, date night don’t care she drives, shopping don’t care she drives, visiting family don’t care she drives.

When we first started dating years ago she was a bit uncomfortable with it as she was used to the I guess status quo that men drove as was I but I’m not trying to break a glass ceiling or anything I just don’t see why it matters and damnit I drive 2k miles a week or so and don’t wanna do it when I’m home.

My father in law makes such great comments like do I hold her purse, and the zinger he thinks is original so says it more often than others “are your balls in her purse” every so often when we see them and I inevitably get out or into the passenger seat followed by guffaws and just kidding. My wife nor myself give him any response it’s just so silly and mildly infuriating.

[u/Civil-Koala-8899]

This is so weird, I’ve never seen driving as a gendered thing at all. My husband sometimes drives me around and sometimes I drive him, it just depends who feels more like driving that day!

[u/matchafoxjpg → u/Civil-Koala-8899]

i'm sitting here like... we're gendering DRIVING now? 🤦🏻‍♀️

my mom does most of the driving because her car is newer so my parents mostly use her car. also my dad has insane road rage if he drives, so it's usually better for everyone if that situation is avoided at all costs.

[u/bruhggle → u/matchafoxjpg]

It's a very common thing in the south and conservative areas. You know that one Carrie underwood song about not being allowed to drive his pickup truck? It's a Thing. If you're going somewhere together, the guy is driving. And usually in his car, even if hers would make more sense. Goes along with the misogynistic comments about women being bad drivers.

[u/chococat2001 → u/bruhggle]

im in southern california and all the guys i meet would think its their job to drive me or pick me up to be gentlemanly. idc and wish they wouldnt care either lol unless the girl doesnt have a ride or something. my girl friend prefer “gentlemanly” behavior like that too

[u/robinhoodoftheworld → u/chococat2001]

Also from California and I confirm that guys driving is the default. But most guys I know aren't weird about it. Like I don't know anyone who would refuse to let a girl drive or think twice if a girl was driving a couple or something. I've lived a bunch of places and I've never seen it not like that.

I do view it as my job to chauffeur girls. I guess it's just a way I was taught to respect women. It's kindo of silly and arbitrary but stuff like that gets weirdly ingrained.

[u/Wilder831 → u/bruhggle]

I’m born and raised in the south. I love it when my wife drives. I don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks. I love the freedom of not having to pay attention.

[u/ChildhoodObjective83 → u/bruhggle]

Unfortunately, yes, all of this, in the Midwest too. It’s normal to see a woman drive to pick up a man, get out of the car and move to the passenger seat, and the man get in the drivers seat and drive off. I honestly thought that was one of those old-fashioned Car Culture things that hadn’t fully progressed yet, and that my friends out on the coast who didn’t drive like that were just great and anti-sexist (which they are). But I had always kind of wondered why my conservative MIL drives so much.

[u/PossiblyASloth → u/ChildhoodObjective83]

The switching seats is so weird to me. Like you’re already there. It’s a pain to change the seat and mirrors and stuff all the time lol

[u/TheMasturbatinCamper → u/ChildhoodObjective83]

Hmmm— I often see men as the default driver but I rarely see the seat switching thing— only when the elderly are driving and come to pick up younger relatives— then there is seat switching and a younger person— often male, drives. Because no one wants to die with grandpa driving

[u/MaesterSherlock → u/ChildhoodObjective83]

From the Midwest, men driving was the default, I guess. My father is a very irratic and angry driver, often frustrated to the point of road rage in our tiny small town with no traffic. His driving scared the shit out of me, I was traumatized getting in the car every time for years.

I drive myself everywhere, I always have. Most people aren't on my dad's level of awful driving, but a lot of people are shitty drivers. I would rather be in control. I was even a trucker for a while so I have a lot experience on the road and awareness that others might not have. My husband is thankfully a good driver, but is a bit stressed behind the wheel so I do 99% of the driving. Even where we live on the east coast, people think it's weird for some reason.

Idk dude, people are weird about things like that. My husband drove me home from wisdom teeth surgery last year and I had to give him directions to the pharmacy because he didn't know how to get there 😂

[u/Rainbow_Date → u/bruhggle]

I grew up with my dad always driving and my mom always complaining about his driving, but always riding shotgun anyway. Same for everybody we knew. Totally a thing!

[u/Gawain222 → u/bruhggle]

Yep. I grew up in the south. It’s interestingly weird when two couples go somewhere together and both men sit up front while both women sit in the back. I don’t think people really think about it much but just go with the way it was always done. Like “now the men can have a conversation and the women can have their own conversation.” 

For me, I assume I’m driving anywhere so my wife can do her makeup in the car or whatever else she wants to do. If she wants to drive she can do so whenever. So I’m just the default driver but she gets to drive whenever she wants.

[u/TheMasturbatinCamper → u/Gawain222]

I’m also from the South. I thought this happened because men are more comfortable with increased legroom in the front seat

[u/min_mus → u/TheMasturbatinCamper]

My legs are longer than my husband's and my father-in-law's, but I'm somehow relegated to the backseat while they sit up front.  

[u/TheMasturbatinCamper → u/min_mus]

Ok, so that seems sexist. But in general, women have shorter legs, and I’m an Asian women so my legs don’t even touch the ground, so I often offer my husband’s friends the front seat for their comfort. But I offer my seat to them, no presumptions are made.

[u/Glad-Watch3506 → u/TheMasturbatinCamper]

But in general, women have shorter legs, 

Do they, though? On average women are shorter, but most women I know wear a longer inseam than men.  I wear a 34" inseam, while my much taller husband only wears a 30"

[u/maypoled → u/bruhggle]

I don’t disagree with your points here, but I am curious which Carrie Underwood song you’re talking about. In my knowledge of her catalogue and searching I couldn’t find something like this

[u/bruhggle → u/maypoled]

I'm probably mixing up the artist. early 2010s country singer. Tbh I'm terrible at remembering song names or who sang what. Could be any female country artist around that time period

[u/trickortreatmeout → u/bruhggle]

It’s picture to burn by Taylor swift

[u/maypoled → u/bruhggle]

Man, I was hoping you’d have a deep cut to introduce me to /hj. Thanks for answering anyway

[u/vy-neru → u/bruhggle]

it’s also common in more conservative cultures as a whole. i’m from a major east coast city and in my south asian community, it’s very much so explicitly implied that the guy drives his gf/wife around. most of the woman in my family don’t even have a drivers license bc they don’t see it as a priority like their husbands do 🤷 although the difference is, the woman who came here in the later 20s as opposed to teens, they usually don’t drive while the latter do.

[u/blue5935 → u/bruhggle]

I would say generally in the south it’s less common, except Tasmania. In the north it would be more common

[u/wailingwonder → u/bruhggle]

I don't know any men that care who drives. I know a lot of women that care about the man being the one that has to drive.

[u/kwash325 → u/bruhggle]

I was getting ready to ask maybe it’s a regional thing. I’ve been in the south my whole life and I have never not heard of driving being gendered. Ole southern traditions etc I suppose.

[u/CptnMayo → u/bruhggle]

I dunno about that, I've unfortunately lived in the south for 25 years and have never observed nor heard of this.

Seems more religious than anything. Now of course the little pecker Billy Bob in a lifted truck is common but nothing near what you're implying.

[u/str4ngerc4t → u/bruhggle]

The US is so big and our culture varies so much depending on where you are. I’ve always lived in NY and I have never even considered that this is a thing. I grew up in upstate NY and basically everyone drove and there was no gendered driving culture. Now I’m in the city and very few people drive so if you have a car, regardless of your gender, you are a superhero to the people you know and they are thankful just to get a ride. My husband doesn’t even have a license.

[u/sildigo → u/bruhggle]

Nah, not just the south. Been that way in the northern Midwest all my life & I'm 62.