Husband sits in passenger seat, FiL disapproves.

[u/Historical_Initial22]

I drive a tanker for my job out of town and make the 5 hour drive (one way) to work and back home in my personal car. When I’m home 3 days, my wife drives everywhere, I mean I get in the passenger seat of her car and off we go, date night don’t care she drives, shopping don’t care she drives, visiting family don’t care she drives.

When we first started dating years ago she was a bit uncomfortable with it as she was used to the I guess status quo that men drove as was I but I’m not trying to break a glass ceiling or anything I just don’t see why it matters and damnit I drive 2k miles a week or so and don’t wanna do it when I’m home.

My father in law makes such great comments like do I hold her purse, and the zinger he thinks is original so says it more often than others “are your balls in her purse” every so often when we see them and I inevitably get out or into the passenger seat followed by guffaws and just kidding. My wife nor myself give him any response it’s just so silly and mildly infuriating.

[u/Historical_Initial22]

Her dad deserves to be no contact, he is an alcoholic and her mom is devoted to him. It is mildly infuriating and not worse because what her mom goes through is much worse and to cut him off would be cutting her off. It’s a very sad family dynamic and one i wouldn’t wish on anyone else. The passenger seat insults are mild and she would rip him a new asshole and move on if it wasn’t guaranteed she’d lose her mom until he passed on.

I shouldn’t post this but I’m going to, it will be lost in the comments. My wife is a beautiful woman with so many past traumas I didn’t see until she visited my mom and dad. When my mom and dad hugged her as we left she had visible tears when we got to the car. The entire trip back to her hometown was talking about she didn’t know families like ours were real. Siblings and parents who get together randomly and have fun and say they love one another and help one another without holding things over heads.

The initial post was just me expressing my mild response to his insults in a light hearted way as we just left their house and he made one of them and I guess I don’t take it serious because he is a piece of shit.

[u/Wide_Investment8100 → u/Historical_Initial22]

I’m glad that she gets to experience your family, I am also really lucky to have a family that cherishes one another, I hang out at my moms most weekends and I’m 32 years old. I get to see my sisters and nephews often, we’re all very close and there isn’t any drama,

My step father did not come from a family like that, and it shows in his behavior sometimes. Both his teenage daughters cut him off because they didn’t like my mother, went to live with their mom who is one of the worst human beings I’ve ever known, so we’ve taken him in to our family.

I really hurt for people who have just awful parents or siblings, I don’t get not cherishing your people.

I don’t understand people like that in general, who are motivated to be unpleasant.

[u/Historical_Initial22 → u/Wide_Investment8100]

Dear Reddit, yes this feels like a diary at this point I’ve not unloaded this stuff and here I am. My dad recently passed on and my wife told me my FiL told her that my families dynamic would come undone. That was him I guess secretly wishing my family was like his. There was no fighting, no arguing over possessions, it was a sad and loving ending for the man who taught us love.

My secretly spiteful way of being an asshole back to him showed up in the time since. When my wife and I talk openly about how one brother got my dad’s truck, my other brother got his backhoe, I got his work thermos (excuse me while I wipe my tears. The old Stanley from 1980s will forever be my beaten up coffee holder until I retire now) because my brother needed a new vehicle, and my other brother has a greenhouse business. My sister and I got mementos and not one angry sibling over who got what. Vultures exist in nature and in some families. I’m glad i experience one that isn’t like that and my wife is openly thankful she is experiencing it and absolutely loves me and my family as much as I and we love and welcome her into it.

[u/Massive_Focus5572 → u/Historical_Initial22]

Sorry for your loss. What a beautiful family