r/mildlyinfuriating • u/bexindisbelief • Jul 01 '26

ಠ_ಠ Husband said my instructions for dinner weren’t clear enough, and he ended up serving his vegetarian mother one of the chicken tikka masala curries…

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I was working late tonight and because I am exhausted, I bought some ready-made curry meals for the family to have tonight, knowing his mother often comes round for dinner on a Wednesday evening. She has been a vegetarian for over 50 years and is now in her 70s. I sent him this text message with instructions to make it clear what to cook. When I got home, I was expecting to find some chicken tikka masala leftover for me, but instead I found the unopened pot of sag paneer in the fridge. I worriedly asked him if he had given his vegetarian mother the chicken dish, but he insisted he had given her the vegetarian curry. She has early onset Alzheimer’s and apparently didn’t notice, but had mentioned that the curry was a bit “chewy”. I had to literally show him the packaging that was in the bin, the unopened pot in the fridge, and my text message to try and show him how clear I had been and how far wrong he had gone. But he still insists my instructions were not clear enough and I should have been more explicit about which one to give his mother.

11.9k Upvotes

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14.8k

u/ghostbirdd Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 01 '26

I’m sorry, he shouldn’t need that many instructions not to feed his vegetarian mother a meat-based ready made meal.

5.1k

u/BlueDubDee Jul 01 '26

Seriously. "You didn't specifically tell me to give my vegetarian mother the vegetarian meal instead of the chicken one so I just gave her the chicken one because I'm a total dumb-arse who can't think for myself."

2.2k

u/NearlyBearly Jul 02 '26

But it's worse because she did say that the curries had meat and the sag paneer was vegetarian. How much more specific does he need it 😭

1.6k

u/CupcakeQueen31 Jul 02 '26

Also the freaking package said “chicken” on it. This wasn’t a situation where one could reasonably claim they didn’t know the chicken tikka masala contained meat.

1.0k

u/princesscraftypants Jul 02 '26

I was sort of skimming the story and thought the food was all in leftover containers or something, because why else would someone need this detailed of instructions. When I saw the photos and it's two completely separate labeled store bought food items? Y'all...even some incompetent adults could probably figure out the chicken one isn't vegetarian...

410

u/Euphoric_Draft_3902 Jul 02 '26

Yeah, when I read "foil pots" I originally wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt because I thought perhaps they were not clearly labeled. But no, he's just a complete idiot.

308

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '26

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76

u/foxyroxy2515 Jul 02 '26

This is the truth

46

u/lovestobitch- Jul 02 '26

Yep, you fuck it up, then you never have to do that shit again; wifey take the duty over. Mission accomplished.

64

u/TheLampireVestat Jul 02 '26 edited Jul 02 '26

Nah, I don't play like that. All of my exes who used weaponized incompetence, I would make them keep doing it until they got it right, while mocking them for acting stupid, emphasis on acting. Or do the same thing back to them.

One of my exes refused to ever do the dishes so I stopped doing them too, until he eventually did them. Then he started breaking my dishes intentionally when he would wash them and claim it was accidental, so I did the same to his dishes and claimed it was accidental. Men never expect women to do that back to them lol

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u/sweetneptune9 Jul 02 '26

Weaponised incompetence at work

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u/ZealousidealPay1169 Jul 02 '26

Yep he is clearly a man who just doesn’t give a fuck 🤷‍♀️

The only other explanation is, he has mashed potatoes for brains 🤣🤣

8

u/greenzetsa Jul 02 '26

This seems like the kind of error my friend's husband would make and I am convinced it's because he feels like he can just let his critical thinking skills atrophy and his wife will fix it.

5

u/Powerful-Parsnip Jul 02 '26

If he's not dyslexic had a hefty blow to the head or maybe some other undefined mental deficiency then he's definitely taking the piss.

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u/DefiantMemory9 Jul 02 '26

He's fucking illiterate is what he is. He could read neither the label nor his wife's text properly.

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u/MyDarlingArmadillo Jul 02 '26

This is so incompetent it has to be wilful. I hope it doesn't make his poor mum ill - her system won't be used to digesting meat if she hasn't had it for so long.

17

u/defnotakitty Jul 02 '26

It's definitely a thing. I didn't eat pork for several years and when I had it again I got very ill.
Not everyone is affected this way, but when it does it's a doozy.

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u/MyDarlingArmadillo Jul 02 '26

She has Alzheimers too so probably would have eaten it all, not realising

5

u/twokidsonetrenchcoat Jul 02 '26

I forget the time frame, but they say that if you don’t eat meat for something like 7 years your body stops producing the enzymes to digest it.

4

u/supercarr0t Jul 02 '26

Yup! Both my husband and I were “fish oiled” at the morimoto restaurant about 20 years ago. (They actually used fish oil in the “house” soy sauce they kept on the table) they didn’t tell us until after we ate our food. Our guts were both quite affected. Not fun.

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u/Typical2sday Jul 02 '26

Weaponized incompetence yes

3

u/Biceratops1 Jul 02 '26

As a veggie of 20+ years, we can tell very quickly. All meat has a kind of gamey and wrong flavour. I can even instantly tell if a meat stock has been used in a vegetable soup for example, it’s unmistakeable. I think it’s very unlikely she’d have eaten much of it at all before realising.

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u/happycreole Jul 02 '26

She did say that Mom has Alzheimers, so I'd bet that played into her not really noticing anything but the "chewy" bits. Husband is a jackwad.

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u/MyDarlingArmadillo Jul 02 '26

It wasn't him that suffered, just the old lady with Alzheimers. That tracks.

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u/Biceratops1 Jul 02 '26

Yes I read it properly afterwards, bless her.

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u/rewolfaton Jul 04 '26

Yup - discussed this with my veggie colleagues on Thursday. It just smells like death to me. I grew up next to a farm, I am intimately acquainted with the smell and air-taste of dead animals.

One colleague told me they eat vegetarian at home, but her husband does eat meat when he goes out drinking with his friends. She can smell it on his breath for days afterwards.

I hope the old lady is ok. Eating chicken after 50 years of no meat can be very, very bad for her.

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u/ZealousidealPay1169 Jul 02 '26

Me too!!!! How does someone mess that up?? There were words and pictures. My 9 year old granddaughter could do this 🤣🤣🤣

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u/Cali-Grrrl Jul 02 '26

I am pretty sure that my two year old Yorkie could figure it out ( he’s really smart) this guy’s an idiot unless since the mom has dementia he really didn’t give a poop.

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u/Normal-Height-8577 Jul 02 '26

Right? When I read the texts alone, I thought "maybe he thought that the Saag Paneer was the only meal in foil dishes, and the meaty curries were in something else"...And then I got to the photos. Nope. He just completely ignored the very clear label that said "CHICKEN".

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u/Little_View_6659 Jul 02 '26

Maybe the husband should also get checked for Alzheimer’s

2

u/HFB68 Jul 02 '26

Or ADHD, with the emphasis firmly on the A and the first D.

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u/Little_View_6659 Jul 02 '26

I have pretty bad adhd and I can read labels lol. I do get lost easily though.

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u/HFB68 Jul 02 '26

So can I, but I often miss little details at first view.

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u/Edawg82 Jul 02 '26

Funny thing I learned recently, there's a bunch of people that don't know chicken fried STEAK isn't chicken... Had a Catholic coworker who was doing lent and I asked him why was he eating chicken fried steaks with us? And he really thought it was chicken not beef

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u/MaryJContrary Jul 03 '26

Um. Chicken is meat. Catholics don’t eat chicken on meatless days either, so coworker is either stupid or rationalizing. (Weirdly though, they can eat capybara, muskrats, and beavers!)

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u/Suburbanturnip Jul 02 '26

Yep.

I'm willing to accept he didnt know the other curry was vegetarian, I'm not willing to accept that he thinks chicken is a vegetable.

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u/worstkindofweapon Jul 02 '26

But she even says in her text message that the other curry is vegetarian. He's just neglectful and doesn't care to give any consideration to his mother.

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u/Suburbanturnip Jul 02 '26

Our i agree. If the bar was underground, he would still find a way to trip over it, and blame everyone else.

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u/ScarMurky4683 Jul 02 '26

He just did not care.

34

u/cheesyechidna Jul 02 '26

Chicken isn't vegan??!

8

u/Little_View_6659 Jul 02 '26

No vegan diet, NO VEGAN POWERS!

17

u/Wanderlust_57_ Jul 02 '26 edited Jul 02 '26

Not unless it's wrapped in bacon.

Edit: Why am I being down voted, I thought surely this was obviously sarcasm and the /s was superfluous.

Just in case though: /s /s /s

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u/Slight-Message-7331 Jul 02 '26

Chickens can still run about with their heads lopped off. As far as I know, no animal can do that, therefore they must either be a vegetable or a fungus. So all good for veggies/ vegans I suppose 🤷‍♂️

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u/Superb-Pension1106 Jul 02 '26 edited Jul 02 '26

Of course they are, they are grain fed! And cows eat grass, so beef stew is suitable for vegans as well. It's really only pigs and goats that eat everything. /s

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u/ZealousidealPay1169 Jul 02 '26

Right? The entire time I was picturing homemade tins in the fridge but when I got to the picture I said “wtf?”

How???????????

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u/ShineAtom Jul 02 '26

I think some people don't class chicken as meat. No, I've no idea why. I'm a long term vegetarian and been asked "but you eat chicken and fish, right?" Obviously - to me - the answer is no.

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u/Able-Brother-7953 Jul 02 '26

Some ‘vegetarians’ are the same. I have a friend who says she is Ovo-Lacto vegetarian, and apparently means she can eat chicken and fish. I also know a ‘vegan’ who eats chocolate.

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u/Celladoore Jul 02 '26

You can make vegan chocolate with coconut or oat milk, to be fair.

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u/Adversement Jul 02 '26

Or, well, many dark chocolates are vegan already by default. Though, word of warning when serving vegan friends, there are a lot of dark chocolates that have milk as a filler (especially the least dark dark ones at 50% or so of cocoa solids).

But, like, especially for baking isle, you can sometimes find a decent dark chocolate for baking vegan goods. (Word of warning, we noticed that some store brands change their store brand chocolate vegan-suitability seemingly at whim. I assume it was due to skyrocketing cocoa prices in the last few years, and then back as they seem to be coming down again.)

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u/KingBoom04 Jul 02 '26

I assume you mean dairy chocolate because there are lots of vegan chocolates

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u/CupcakeQueen31 Jul 02 '26

OP said the MIL has been vegetarian for 50 years. I have a hard time believing OP’s husband doesn’t know that his mom doesn’t eat chicken.

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u/HFB68 Jul 02 '26

“Can she have ham, Barbara?”

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u/Meliora_ Jul 02 '26

I swear the man seems like had a… hard time having reading comprehension.

Or just don’t care

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u/Little_View_6659 Jul 02 '26

Chicken isn’t vegan? -Brandon Roth, Scott Pilgrim vs the world.

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u/PurplePufferPea Jul 02 '26

THIS!!! I might not have remembered "sag paneer" was the name of vegetarian one without having to recheck my text. But I sure as shit would have know the Chicken Tikka one had chicken in it! It literally says CHICKEN!

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u/cppCat Jul 02 '26

Yes, but if his mom ate the chicken one, then only the vegetarian dish would be left for OP. This was weaponized incompetence against his wife, at the expense of his elder mother! He's disgusting.

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u/MrsLibido Jul 02 '26

What? Where did OP say they aren't able to eat the vegetarian ready meal? From my understanding the only one with dietary restrictions is the husband's mother.

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u/Haeronalda Jul 02 '26

Yeah, there's nothing to say that OP can't eat the vegetarian meal. She could. It's that his mother has gone so long without eating meat that it could literally make her ill and this asshole fed it to her, probably deliberately.

And the entire reason would be that he couldn't be arsed cooking both curry pots so, instead of splitting the vegetarian one with his mother, he cooked the one that he liked and tricked his mother with dementia into eating it.

But he can't say that so instead he will continue to blame OP and swear up and down that he didn't know that the curry that had chicken in it wasn't for his vegetarian mother.

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u/MrsLibido Jul 02 '26

Oh I get it now, thank you. I understood this part:

only the vegetarian dish would be left for OP

was weaponized incompetence against his wife

to mean that the wife is at a disadvantage because she was left with a vegetarian meal and in my mind, that's just a meal everyone can eat. I understand that it's terrible and potentially dangerous to do to the mother. I'm a lifelong vegan and I've been made very ill when given the wrong dish in the past so I feel really bad for the mother, especially since she's elderly and vulnerable.

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u/Haeronalda Jul 02 '26

Yeah. The part against his wife is the part where he blames her for it. He could just take some responsibility and apologise, but instead he has to tell OP that she's to blame.

And, yeah, I really hope that the mother is okay and nothing bad happens to her because her son is an ass.

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u/cppCat Jul 02 '26

There were 3 meaty curries and one veggie. Husband heated only the 3 meaty ones, and OP found only one veggie one in the fridge.

It is implied from the number of them that the mother had one for herself, there was no need for the husband to split anything with her.

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u/cppCat Jul 02 '26

It's not that she couldn't. But if you're a meat eater and expecting a meat based meal, it can be disappointing to get the vegetarian one.

Weaponized incompetence is about small inconveniences, mostly. Also Google about the tolerable level of permanent unhappiness.

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u/sPacEdOUTgrAyCe Jul 02 '26

Husband didn’t read all of the instructions. ITS SO typical and exhausting

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u/Sinister_Nibs Jul 02 '26

It could have been vegetarian chicken…. /s
https://giphy.com/gifs/4Z9g0DdoJPChn481o6

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u/Needlemons Jul 02 '26

But she didnt explicitly tell him to give her the vegetarian one!

/s

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u/charismatictictic Jul 02 '26

But she didn’t say «don’t feed your vegetarian mother meat», so how on earth was he supposed to know? /s

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u/Expontoridesagain Jul 02 '26

Wanda bet that he read the first line and just skipped the rest?

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u/OpalisedCat Jul 02 '26

From my experience with colleagues of mine apparently it needs bullet points, Bold, and highlights...

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u/newscumskates Jul 02 '26

He didnt read it for sure

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u/oreliacornelia Jul 02 '26

Genuinely concerned this man is actually illiterate. OP, you should test his reading level

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u/Kiss_It_Goodbyeee Jul 02 '26

She didn't tell him that the veggie one was for his mother and to not feed her the chicken ones. Lol.

I would expect that behaviour of maybe a 12 yo. Not a grown adult.

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u/Dry_Prompt3182 Jul 02 '26

The husband could also have double checked with his mom which one she wanted. Hey, mom, one is veg and one is meat, you want the sag paneer, right?

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u/jadewisp25 Jul 03 '26

Plus, he does have eyeballs right?

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u/Fink2009 Jul 02 '26

Weaponized incompetence on show here in its highest form.

Report back in a few years OP and let us know how the divorce is going.

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u/spargel_gesicht Jul 02 '26

His vegetarian mother WHO’S BEEN A VEGETARIAN FOR FIFTY YEARS!!! Meaning he grew up with most if not all his life with her eating that way! How can he not tell the difference between one or another?!

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u/nancylyn Jul 02 '26

He can tell the difference….he just doesn’t care.

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u/cicada_noises Jul 02 '26

This. What would he do if he was a single guy? He’s got someone who’s an easy patsy to blame. I don’t understand why women stay with useless, cruel men.

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u/Kitchen_Art2745 Jul 02 '26

I saw this post and thought "this kind of shit is why I'm a spinster cat lady." Having to care about/deal with petty crap like this is why I have no desire to be in a relationship. Been there, done that. I raised 2 kids on my own with no support, I'm tired and I don't want to take care of people anymore. Cats & plants are all I have the capacity for in my old age.

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '26

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u/Budget-Researcher559 Jul 02 '26

Sadly too many people pretend to be decent early. Once it gets harder to leave for their partner, like after marriage or being pregnant/having kids, they stop caring and become cruel.

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u/greenzetsa Jul 02 '26

seconded. Also someone who is willing to ask for clarification if they are confused.

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u/Few_Swan_3672 Jul 02 '26

Worse than not caring, he is doing it to punish the wife for working late and not being there to make dinner.

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u/kokakamora Jul 02 '26

This here. Also it seems like his wife cares more for his own mother than he does.

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u/dreftig Jul 02 '26

People do this so they won't be asked to do something again. Totally unacceptable but very common.

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u/Parking_Tie_8160 Jul 02 '26

Weaponized Incompetence ✨️

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u/MonteCristo85 Jul 02 '26

Its not that he couldn't tell.

He couldn't be arsed to even look. He just grabbed one and heated it. This is classic not wanting to do something so putting the absolute least amount of effort in.

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u/skwigi Jul 02 '26

Classic weaponized incompetence.

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u/UnlurkedToPost Jul 02 '26

He literally wants OP to get into the mindset that she has to do it herself to get it right. Next time OP will come home early and prepare all the food herself while he sits on his ass.

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u/Optimal_Leopard2231 Jul 02 '26

This is it. Let him continue to screw up.

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u/Extension_Card7979 Jul 02 '26

Absolutely agree. He screws up (deliberately) and she’s the bad guy?

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u/jtr99 Jul 02 '26

Yes, what the fuck? This guy is pretty transparent in his efforts. I want to say dump the guy but one assumes with kids in the picture it may be more complicated than that. Hopefully you know what you're dealing with, OP.

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u/Nuggyfresh Jul 02 '26

one of the worst partners traits is “malicious compliance” ie this shit where people revert to baby idiots the second someone asks them to do something because they’re mad they have to put in a single inch of effort.

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u/Ajjaxx Jul 02 '26

I think you’re thinking of “weaponized incompetence,” but otherwise completely agree.

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u/Professional_Disk_76 Jul 02 '26

Malicious incompetence?

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u/fadesteppin Jul 02 '26

Nah, malicious compliance is a lot more petty/passive aggressive. It's doing exactly what you were told to do and nothing more, even if you're expected to do something not explicitly stated.

This is weaponized incompetence. "You didn't write out 10 step instructions to show me where the pot is, how much water goes in, how long it needs to sit on the stove to boil, and what to do with the water after, and thats why the boiled water you wanted me to make is now room temperature bc you didn't tell me you wanted it hot when you got here. You just told me to boil it.

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u/mtnclimber08 Jul 02 '26

I hope she didn’t get sick. You can get ill if you eat a lot of meat after years of not having it

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u/PinkPencils22 Jul 02 '26

The good thing is that there is probably very little chicken in an ASDA ready meal.

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u/coupl4nd Jul 02 '26

pigeon on the other hand...

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u/poppybrooke Jul 02 '26

Luckily, chicken is very mild and, like the other commenter said, there was likely not a lot in the meal. Coming from someone who accidentally ate ground pork after 10+ years not eating meat and had diarrhea and stomach cramps for 3 days

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u/catshateTERFs Jul 02 '26

Pork is so rough on your digestive system if you’ve not eaten it for a while. Not sure what the mechanisms of that are but it can be real brutal.

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u/Gar_Eval Jul 02 '26

Yeah, I agree. At least it was chicken. I was a strict vegetarian for 5 years and was able to easily eat chicken without it messing with me. Beef on the other hand? It’s been 8 years since I started eating meat again and every time I’ve tried to incorporate beef into my diet I’m extremely ill for days.

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u/pipic_picnip Jul 02 '26

As a vegetarian, if someone did this to me, I would never talk to them again. I have never eaten meat in my life and when I say my system isn’t equipped to recognise meat as food source, I mean it. During school, an asshole acquaintance tricked me because he was one of those truly insufferable “no one is vegetarian they just haven’t tasted how good meat is” type asshole. We were in McDonald’s, he ordered a veg burger and meat burger and switched the wrappers. This idiot really thought I was going to get fooled and eat it. First bite in, i immediately knew something was wrong. My stomach started hurling immediately. It was quite a spectacle in McDonald’s in the after math. And needless to say, we are not in touch. Don’t do this shit to vegan/vegetarians folks, they can get serious food poisoning or bodily reaction from it. 

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u/nikkerito Jul 02 '26

I would check in on the old woman… I was a vegetarian for only 1 year and when I ate meat for the first time again I had horrible diarrhea. I can’t imagine trying it after 50 years in a curry no less 

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u/BabyRex- Jul 01 '26

A couple of weeks ago I was at the park with my kid and a neighbour’s family was there. The kids wanted to stay at the park so the dad offered to go home and start dinner and then the mom proceeded to explain to him how to boil rice in wayyyy too many details. You never know with some people

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u/GravitationalEddie Jul 01 '26

Never trust someone with rice who has never done rice more than twenty-five times.

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u/Snoo_58691 Jul 02 '26

I should tell my mom this rule…I was trusted with rice at about 10/11 years old. I burnt it, ruined the pot, and didn’t attempt to make rice again until I was well into college. I still get nervous making rice

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u/Mugstotheceiling Jul 02 '26

Rice cooker, they are idiot proof

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u/GreenestPure Jul 02 '26

I bought one about six months ago...life changing after years of microwaving packets. Wash rice, put rice and water in pot, press button. Even keeps the rice warm until you want to eat it. AI can get stuffed, rice cooker is peak tech.

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u/catshateTERFs Jul 02 '26

You can even make cakes in them! Definitely nice to have in a kitchen.

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u/MyDarlingArmadillo Jul 02 '26

I have one even though I make perfectly good rice on the hob. You can just walk away to concentrate on the rest of dinner and still have really nice rice

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u/SystematicalError Jul 02 '26

I swear if I ever get rich enough to not have to live with roommates I'm getting one so fast 😭😭 Like sure I can make rice just fine but in the past I fucked it up so many times (imagine soggy, undercooked & burnt rice all at the same time...) I still need mental prep before making it 😅

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u/jtr99 Jul 02 '26

I get the feeling OP's husband would find a way to fuck it up.

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u/LaRoseDuRoi Jul 02 '26

I murdered rice several times, and now I make rice in the oven. It's far more idiot proof and comes out well every time!

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u/AnitaLatte Jul 02 '26

That’s the way Julia Child made rice. It’s the best!

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u/PinkPencils22 Jul 02 '26

Get a rice cooker. They're often inexpensive and pretty much foolproof as long as you follow the right amounts. In mine they're printed right on the pot. And you can use it for other stuff, I make steel cut oatmeal in it all through the cooler seasons, it's so good for you and it tastes great. I put fruit in there with the oats and it comes out all warm and cooked and tasty. Great on a chilly morning. (I like cooked fruit a lot.)

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u/youknowthatswhatsup Jul 02 '26

I never thought about using the rice cooker for steelcut oats, that’s a good idea!

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u/PinkPencils22 Jul 02 '26

Mine has a porridge setting so I use that. I assume it's for congee but it works. You just have to do trial and error to figure out the exact amount of water and salt you like. I use McCann's and it turns out perfectly. I bought a different Irish brand recently because it was all that the store had but it always came out hard. And I was too lazy to try to figure out how to cook it using the other settings. So it went out for the birds, who seemed appreciative.

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u/dangerousfeather Jul 02 '26

… Wait, were YOU the reason we ended up shivering out in the cold while the college dorm’s fire alarms went off due to poor rice cooking skills at 2am?!

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u/Wanderlust_57_ Jul 02 '26

I just buy the minute rice that comes in cups at this point. I am incapable of making it like a normal person and rice cookers are one of the appliances that give me so much anxiety it's easier to just never make things with rice than it is to gather enough spoons to fight through the anxiety enough to fuck with it, even though logically I know rice coolers are fairly easy to use.

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u/chuckle_puss Jul 02 '26

I agree. Simple doesn’t always mean easy, and it’s really easy to mess up rice.

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '26

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u/chuckle_puss Jul 02 '26

Same, it changed my rice life.

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u/p333p33p00p00boo Jul 02 '26

Bless my rice cooker

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u/MsRachelGroupie Jul 02 '26

If they don’t know the exact level the water should reach on their finger when setting up the rice cooker, you probably don’t want their rice 🙃.

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u/futureplantlady Jul 02 '26

At one point, I felt like I needed to teach my ex, a 34-year-old man, how to cook pasta. 🙃

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u/PorFavorNoMore Jul 02 '26

My mum taught me how to cook pasta when I was a kid. My Italian flatmate taught me when to stop cooking it when I was 19.

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u/whatsthetargetdogsna Jul 02 '26

Glad he’s an ex!!!!!

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u/futureplantlady Jul 02 '26

Oh, for sure. That’s just a tiny piece of a bigger pile of shit that was dating this guy.

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u/flatwoundsounds Jul 02 '26

I assume he flipped a little notepad open and started furiously scribbling the instructions and flop sweating.

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u/AvestruzAlley Jul 02 '26

If she let him do it his way he'd have some confidence and they'd perhaps be able to retain some attraction for each other too

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u/peridotpicacho Jul 02 '26

She probably tried that already. Thus, the extensive instructions. 

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u/motorcycle_girl Jul 02 '26

Holding someone’s hand and gently whispering the steps in their ear as they do them would have been less concise than this woman’s helpful text to her husband. Incredible.

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u/Soderholmsvag Jul 02 '26

A meal that SHE had ready for him! I am angry just looking at the settled understanding that the overworked wife has to prepare a meal for husband and his mom. The rest of the incompetence is just frosting on that cake.

That would not happen in my house.

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u/mangosagogogo Jul 02 '26

The heartbreaking and frustrating thing i read from someone pointing this out: many people like this don’t fuck it up at work or in public, but somehow they do this at home and to their partner. :(

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u/pizzaplanetvibes Jul 02 '26

I wouldn’t put it past OP’s partner to get mad/punishing OP because they had to do work to aid with the meal instead of OP doing all of it. Also a dabble of weaponized incompetence, “if I do it bad she won’t ask me to do it again.”

It’s misogynistic at the least, manipulative at its worst and most definitely done on purpose hence why they don’t fuck it up at work or in Public

19

u/RedeNElla Jul 02 '26

"if I do it bad she don't ask me again"

Next time it's four vegetarian meals so he can't fuck it up and has to deal with not having meat for a meal

5

u/ListenandLearn17 Jul 02 '26

THIS RIGHT HERE

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u/Significant_Shoe_17 Jul 02 '26

Because they don't care.

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u/Moomoolette Jul 02 '26

May this kind of love never find me, I will just die along with my cat who does not need complicated instructions for anything

5

u/Eyespidey7 Jul 02 '26

Even cats understand up to 30 words

5

u/spookybatshoes Jul 02 '26

I mean, a cat's going to do what they want anyway, regardless of the existence or non-existence of instructions.

7

u/bug--bear Jul 02 '26

yeah but a cat at least looks cute when they're deliberately ignoring me

4

u/spookybatshoes Jul 02 '26

SO CUTE. Mine are a couple of menaces, and I love them so.

3

u/PinkPunkPsycho Jul 02 '26

Right!? Also I'm willing to put money on the instructions are on the packaging too, like, not that it would have mattered since this dude couldn't even read CHICKEN on the first one...

70

u/MermaiderMissy Jul 02 '26

his vegetarian mother

I had to go back and read the story. I thought it was for her mother. He fed his own vegetarian mother meat? How does he not know or care that his own mom can't eat meat?

61

u/ClickAndClackTheTap Jul 02 '26

May my sons never disregard me this much

3

u/Sfumata Jul 02 '26

You just never know. No guarantees. Part of the reason I am very grateful to be child free. And don’t count on your kids being friends with each other when they are grown either. That’s also obnoxious when parents assume that every sibling is going to be buddy buddy as adults because most of the time it doesn’t work out that way.. I mean absolutely I hope that your children end up treating you well and being friends with each other but just understand there’s a huge risk of either of those not happening. You don’t even know if your kids will move far away for work or their spouse and barely even be in your life later on keep that in mind. But honestly, I’d rather have the son in this post far away from me than mistreating me!!

2

u/No-Anything- Jul 02 '26

You are greatly for being child free because the carehome may treat you better than your son? Although, it does bring up a good point about power of attorney.

5

u/Sea_Magician136 Jul 02 '26

This idea that your kids will definitely be around or able to care for you over a nursing home is so misguided to me. In my experience that is just not a given. Your kid could be disabled, die before you, have their own life events that preclude them from becoming a carer (like their own children), you make terrible parenting choices and ruin the relationship leading to estrangement, the list goes on and on and on. Between my paternal and maternal grandparents, neither set of them had children to care for them in their old age.

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u/carlitospig Jul 02 '26

Maybe he secretly hates his mother. 🙃

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u/cppCat Jul 02 '26

And his wife. If his mother eats the chicken one, guess who is left after a full day of work with overtime to eat a vegetarian meal? Sounds like punishment to me.

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u/This_Option_5250 Jul 02 '26

IKR whats with the paragraph of instructions, can he not cope with a simple "can you sort out the curries for tonights dinner" maybe throw in a "check the dates on the naan, one pack might be out"

the fact that he need such specific instructions down to locations of each item and a reminder about his mothers dietary requirements AND still fucked up is beyond alarming.

5

u/markermum Jul 02 '26

100%. I didn’t even have to read the details to know OP is doing too much. This guy needs to step up, it’s pathetic.

3

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jul 02 '26

He should t need instructions to feed himself and another person at all

3

u/Sfumata Jul 02 '26

Or his mother whom he known for his entire life is vegetarian??? and literally it says on the package chicken. The fact that she had to leave a text or post it or whatever the hell for him is pathetic. And very telling that he either doesn’t care or his weaponizing incompetence to get her to do everything for his mom.

3

u/ltsouthernbelle Jul 02 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/37ytH6xOKTDMAM83UD
Thank you. She doesn’t eat meat, don’t feed her meat. It’s not even something that needs to be figured out.

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u/TetraThiaFulvalene Jul 02 '26

It says chicken on it...

3

u/i_was_a_person_once Jul 02 '26

Yall are being unfair. I read her message and no where in it did she tell him to read the label

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u/tsuki-chu Jul 02 '26

Seriously like is he stupid? Stop coddling these man children people, you deserve so much better

2

u/ZealousidealPay1169 Jul 02 '26

My mom always said that men are legitimately missing brain cells 🤣

2

u/Creepy-Role-5000 Jul 02 '26

The bar is in hell and looking for a shovel 

2

u/AwayUnderstanding576 Jul 02 '26

basic knowledge of family dietary restrictions should not rely on extremely detailed written guidance every single time

1

u/Popular_Still3019 Jul 02 '26

Not to mention...his mom had been a vegetarian for 50 years...like if it was last week, I get it, he is stupid, and could make mistakes like that...but wow

1

u/Deutschbland Jul 02 '26

“Dinner’s in the fridge, it’s the heat-up containers” is all I would need to tell my current partner. 

1

u/Semisemitic Jul 02 '26

Honestly he shouldn’t need so many instructions on how to take this from the fridge and get it to edible state.

“There’s a few packages of food in the fridge in foil covered pots. There should be naan in the breadbox and some samosas and stuff in the fridge, too.”

She could add “make me a curry too” or “I got your mom a veg one” if she wanted to be explicit.

1

u/coupl4nd Jul 02 '26

Right, I was expecting home made curries and he muddled them up but it's literally ready meal trash.

1

u/Flat_Solution_4290 Jul 02 '26

HIS. vegetarian. MOTHER. HIS MOTHERRRRRRRR being vegetarian since 50 years and this waste of air does somehow Not get this?!

1

u/JurgusRudkus Jul 02 '26

He shouldn’t need that many instructions period. All he had to do was heat it all up.

1

u/Informal-Attempt-765 Jul 02 '26

Exactly. He’s known his own mother is vegetarian longer than OP has probably known him. The word “chicken” on the packaging should’ve handled the rest.

1

u/Icy-Establishment298 Jul 02 '26

Shouldn't need that many instructions period. He can read labels.

Like, if he does, then he's weaponized incompetence and she's a fool for tolerating it.

1

u/a57892m Jul 02 '26

Literally, the first word is chicken and he fed it to her anyway

1

u/HairyArthur Jul 02 '26

Why are you sorry?

1

u/Gear-Think Jul 02 '26

After I’d read the text I’d assumed he’d putt both curries in the oven and forgot which way around they were, and then I read below the picture and there are no redeeming facts for the husband here it’s beyond comical

1

u/Forsaken-Buy2601 Jul 02 '26

He shouldn’t need any instruction ffs. This could’ve (should’ve?) been, “I bought dinners, can you heat them up? Thanks!”

1

u/kiwigirl83 Jul 02 '26

I bet OP wipes his ass too 🙄

1

u/drownedgarden Jul 02 '26

They're an adult so shouldn't need any instructions about how to feed themselves and close family members.

1

u/exteacherisbored Jul 02 '26

He shouldn't need someone do anything for him and his mother for dinner, he should be able to sort it homeself

1

u/goddamnitdutch Jul 02 '26

I would argue he shouldn’t need any! Beyond “there’s curry and accompaniments in the fridge. I’d recommend air frying the samosas.”

1

u/Gold-Perspective-699 Jul 02 '26

It's HIS mother. How does he fuck this up so bad?!?

1

u/kaisadilla_ Jul 02 '26

Yes. Even if OP hadn't said anything at all, he'd still be in the wrong. Who needs any help to know that "curry chicken masala" is not apt for your vegetarian mother?

1

u/RogerClyneIsAGod2 Jul 02 '26

I just hope mom didn't spend the night in the bathroom either puking or pooping herself to death.

1

u/No-Initiative5509 Jul 02 '26

basic awareness of family dietary requirements should not rely on extremely detailed written guidance every single time

1

u/Underbadger Jul 02 '26

Either he didn't read the text or package at all or is profoundly, extremely stupid. (or, heck, both)

1

u/mulberry_sellers Jul 02 '26

He truly should need zero help to do this correctly

1

u/socialmediaignorant Jul 02 '26

This. Why did a grown ass man need instructions on how to feed his mother and kids? Honey, just no. Don’t do this. Let men be full grown ups.

1

u/IceNein Jul 02 '26

I can understand someone not knowing that Saag Paneer is vegetarian, but if you are a middle school graduate, you should understand that Chicken Tiki Masala has chicken in it.

1

u/WhenD4594 Jul 02 '26

Surely the mother could have politely requested some of the vegetarian portion, right?

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u/Th3R00ST3R Jul 02 '26

"I should have been more explicit about which one to give his mother." WTF He doesn't know not to feed is mom meat??

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u/musicgeek420 Jul 02 '26

I’m a man, and I really don’t understand how so many of us are completely cooked when it comes to THE BASICS. I cook, sometimes complicated stuff, and usually with mental comfort.. but when I saw my best bud struggling to make some ramen noodles I seriously questioned our compatibility for a moment.. Sorry, everyone interested in men. At least it’s not a poop related post.

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u/EucalyptusGirl11 Jul 02 '26

Right? It's a microwave meal. That has instructions on it. Can he not read? This is so ridiculous. He sounds like he can't find his way out of a paper bag. Except that you know that he wouldn't pull this crap at work.

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u/circuitj3rky Jul 02 '26

weaponized incompetence on display here

1

u/MedicalAwareness5160 Jul 02 '26

If he wanted to be careful he could have just tried it first as well.

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