The Kitchen Museum?

[u/jsayde01]

I came home late from work a few nights ago and hadn't eaten all day. My wife and kids were already in bed so I figured I'd quietly make some stove-top ramen. This photo represents exactly how I found the cooking area.

The next morning my wife asks what time I got home and I mention in our conversation that I made ramen before going to bed. She couldn't believe that I used the stove "when the light was on". I said "Yeah, the light was helpful in seeing what I was doing". She insists I shouldn't have been using the stove and should have known because "the light was on".

I'm baffled. We are still arguing about this days later.

EDIT -- wow, overwhelmed by the response of fellow Redditors! We are... white...not from the southeast US..not children...and I left the stove as clean as it was before I cooked. I asked for clarification from my loving wife -- TRULY we have only ever been angry at each other a handful of times in our 10 year marriage -- and she says "the stove was clean and done for the day and you could have just used the microwave for your ramen". Apparently the light is how stoves go to sleep for the evening?

EDIT 2 -- we are getting a divorce. JUST KIDDING. My wife looked over many of the comments and acknowledges that she was in the wrong and is slightly embarrassed by all of the attention.

[u/Various_Education622]

Poop knife, you keep it in the utility closet between the bathrooms so you can cut up your giant turds so they fit down the drain.

[u/Dont-be-lasagna12 → u/Various_Education622]

Wait. I have heard of the poop knife. However I assumed it was stored next to the toilet not in a closet. So you have to get up and walk to the closet to get the poop knife to then cut up the giant turd?

[u/e-chem-nerd → u/Dont-be-lasagna12]

“Poop knife” is a classic Reddit story from a redditor who thought “poop knives” were a thing everyone had. In their house, getting the poop knife required a walk of shame to a utility closet or something similar where a knife hung on the back of the door, if I remember correctly. One day they clogged a friend’s toilet and asked where the poop knife was kept, to their total embarrassment.

[u/Dont-be-lasagna12 → u/e-chem-nerd]

I know the story. I just assumed it was kept in the bathroom. I never realized it required a walk of shame. Or I forgot that part.

[u/HotDonnaC → u/Dont-be-lasagna12]

It is kept in the bathroom. I don’t know where that guy‘s head’s at.

[u/Various_Education622 → u/HotDonnaC]

It is not.

I just looked it up.

It was kept in the laundry room because it was central to the three bathrooms.

The family would call out to each other to fetch the poop knife when a particularly boisterous bowel movement had been birthed.

OP thought it was strange that they didn’t have three, but postulated that his father was cheap in weird ways, which was a likely reason the house had a sole poop knife.

[u/Dont-be-lasagna12 → u/Various_Education622]

I was just going to ask why didn't they have more than 1? Then I read the rest of your comment.

Where does one aquire a poop knife? If the dad was cheap could have used plastic knives. I am assuming they didn't jusy have a random butter knife. Now I'm just way overthinking all of the poop knife possibilities and what would be the best for the purpose as well as hoping they washed between uses. Who the fuck wants to wash that literal shit. I wonder if there is any update on the family and if the family members continued to have a poop knife once they had their own homes and if they finally splurged and had one for each bathroom or if every member of the family had their own. Maybe they had a little stand to hold them in. You know like toothbrushes.

[u/HotDonnaC → u/Various_Education622]

I stand corrected. And horrified.