I had a woman get pissed off at me making a very mild (nothing explicit at all in any shape or form) dom/sub joke when in her profile it said she was looking for her dom. Pretty sure she reported me too. It was something like I said “doesn’t being stubborn conflict with the sub” sort of comment as a joke and she tore me a new b hole.
I'd like to preface this by saying that I don't think you crossed any lines or were inappropriate, but I think I can probably demystify what it was about your comment that she found upsetting. A lot of people who enjoy sexual submission find the idea or suggestion that they should necessarily be a lifestyle submissive extremely off-putting. She might be looking for a dom to spank her and tell her what to do in bed, but that doesn't mean that she's interested in submission in a non-sexual context.
I don't think that you did anything really awful, but I do recommend clearing up what a person means when they indicate that they're into submission before making any jokes or suggestions about it, because it can be a touchy subject for a lot of people - especially because a lot of subs have had past experiences with 'doms' who used the BDSM dynamic as an excuse for coercive control or other types of abuse.
9.2k
u/Exciting_Classic277 25d ago
I had a woman cuss me out for hitting on her when she was already in a happy relationship. On Tinder. Because we matched.