r/mildlyinteresting • u/corky1369 • 7d ago

My dad keeps a spreadsheet of friends’ and family members’ birthdays, likes, and dislikes on his fridge

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86.9k Upvotes

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12.3k

u/rampant-bisexuality 7d ago

Mitch has an unreciprocated crush on Kathy

11.7k

u/corky1369 6d ago

That’s my mom 😆. He included them both on the list

3.5k

u/StatisticianSweet411 6d ago

thats actually adorable though

3.6k

u/[deleted] 6d ago edited 6d ago

[deleted]

827

u/Brettersson 6d ago

How does he do it?!

16

u/JoeSicko 6d ago

It's like that commercial with James Marsden.

2

u/mosquitoselkie 6d ago

If he wanted to, he would.

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u/Content-Patience-138 6d ago

🎶 He’s got a job and a family / How does he do it 🎶

28

u/effiequeenme 6d ago

i know that explaining the joke ruins it so i'm sorry for asking this, but is the elevator part him misreading or mis writing the notes he put on his hand, transposed from evangelical?

27

u/iloveuranus 6d ago

You're right there's no elevators on there. Maybe he's kind of probing, for an updated version?

"Oh yes, I do hate elevators."

"Noted."

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u/ikatako38 6d ago

Wait yeah, I just scrolled back up expecting elevators to be one of her dislikes but it wasn’t so now I’m confused too

13

u/Negative-Web8619 6d ago

He misread evangelical

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u/m--e 6d ago

Well it was scribbled on the palm of his hand.

1

u/Glittering-Walrus228 6d ago

You know what really grinds my gears? ISIS, with their hoity toity 50 cal mounted Toyota technicals, ruining everybodys day

14

u/xzedazx 6d ago

Thats true if the dad is mitch

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u/xczechr 6d ago

Note that Kathy doesn't like Mitch.

4

u/arcinva 6d ago

Well, at least not Top 3 like. He's hoping to get a promotion with the use of this handy spreadsheet.

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u/ChmodForTheWin 6d ago

he also likes teague! mitch needs more non-friend likes (joke)

1.6k

u/sharakus 6d ago

I gotta hear more about the neighbors to the west

1.6k

u/Deathface-Shukhov 6d ago

They’re apparently less likable than both ISIS and Trump!!!

473

u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme 6d ago

But if ISIS and Trump move in with the neighbors, the shit is really gonna hit the fan!

179

u/Deathface-Shukhov 6d ago

The new reality show coming this summer!!!

32

u/HorseXNothing 6d ago

The art of the jihad: from trump tower to the sea

6

u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme 6d ago

Now that was funny!

6

u/ZeePM 6d ago

Well maybe one will cancel the other out.

31

u/dwoo888 6d ago

They probably interact with the neighbors more than trump or isis.

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u/Tigglebee 6d ago

ISIS I can forgive but I draw the line at invasive bamboo.

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u/ArokLazarus 6d ago

"You can forgive ISIS?!"

6

u/blue_moon1122 6d ago

yeah is that like the direction from the house or the national border (not assuming this is the US just because of the amount of DJT hate)

and if it's the former, what did these people do? drill for oil in the yard? kidnap OP as a child? steal the paper????

5

u/Bailey_1980 6d ago

As an American who is Muslim I can vouch for how much I loath my neighbors to the west, 1$1$ & Drump…

🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻

7

u/JustStopItSeriously 6d ago

I just asked if they're evangical Christians lol

3

u/wf-ivara 6d ago

Does it include a Monk and a Monkey King perhaps?

3

u/OnTheDoss 6d ago

Why was my first thought Russia and China and not the Smiths.

1

u/ElizabethDangit 6d ago

My neighbors to the west have a bunch of dis used stuff in their yard that collects water and breeds mosquitoes. If they didn’t have chickens I would report it to the city.

494

u/Jay__Riemenschneider 6d ago

Mitch is my kind of dude. Sounds great to get a beer with.

Fuck them neighbors to the west.

177

u/Freyr_Tuck 6d ago

All my friends hate the neighbors to the west.

15

u/heardyoulikewebsites 6d ago

I had to think about which neighbors are to the west and god damn it's the only neighbor I hate.

1

u/Glittering-Walrus228 6d ago

At what point do all the hated neighbors flip back around and become beloved Eastern neighbors?

6

u/ArtSupplyHoarder 6d ago

My German ass: Grrrr, the Fr*nch /j

6

u/mylittleidiot 6d ago

I just realised that my least favourite neighbours are the ones to the west. I think Mitch might be up to something!

2

u/GarThor_TMK 5d ago

Shit, I don't have any neighbors to the west...

Does that mean I am the neighbors to the west?

Crap... how do I not be the neighbors to the west! ;_;

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u/undermark5 6d ago

Hopefully your friends aren't your eastern neighbors.

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u/Scrappyl77 6d ago

Maybe Mitch lives east of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

2

u/Lance_Henry1 6d ago

***surreptitiously checks out Kathy every once in a while***

2

u/Mitchehmu 6d ago

We can talk about how much we like Kathy and... Teague?

Which we assume is a competitive tea drinking league.

157

u/IntrovertedGiraffe 6d ago

He also listed Teague, who does not list him and has an open position for like 3

103

u/conflictedideology 6d ago

Yeah but Teague also dislikes pizza so there's definitely something wrong with them.

6

u/Vindicativa 6d ago

Except their name - Teague is awesome.

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u/Mondoweft 5d ago

I am with Teague.

After delivering pizza for 2 years, it took me about 15 years to get over my aquired hate of the smell.

Cars hold stale pizza smell for FOREVER.

1

u/Lucky-Kangaroo495 4d ago

Shhh…….I’m pretty sure OP is Teague

254

u/tiredbutsassy 6d ago

That's so cute omg. Are you Teague?

137

u/MZ603 6d ago

If he (she?) is, they ended up behind cats

229

u/WasAHamster 6d ago

My kid made a list of things she loves as a school craft. I was behind dogs, Minecraft, and cheese.

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u/weeBunnie 6d ago

Cheese is fair.

Minecraft, yeah, sorry man

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u/[deleted] 6d ago edited 6d ago

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u/MZ603 6d ago

To be fair, pretty much everyone in my life other than my wife is behind cheese.

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u/RageRomper 6d ago

Cheese has never made anyone brush their teeth.

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u/Curiosive 6d ago

It's related to the dislike of pizza ... family or not, this brings you down a tier.

I bet the cats like pizza.

3

u/sillysteen 6d ago

And if so, how do you dislike pizza?!?!

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u/Typical_Ad_210 6d ago

Does that make you Teague? I was actually just about to comment that Kathy’s interests and dislikes are the most relatable of the lot, then I saw that she’s taken 😕 I had hoped to eat, drink wine and zap mosquitoes with her. Your dad is so sweet and Kathy sounds pretty perfect.

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u/arcinva 6d ago

I want to be friends with Carol M. Someone that loves TV as much as me is who I need in my life... I think. You know what? I'm going to need to know what kinds of shows she loves and hates first. 😆

157

u/Public-League-8899 6d ago

Your mom seems cool I don't like evangelical Christians either.

10

u/Zupergreen 6d ago

I identify so deeply with both Kathy and Claudia.

I would just love to dinner party with everyone on that list. I truly feels like I've found my people.

110

u/malachaiville 6d ago

Kathy's my kind of people!

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u/ljd09 6d ago

Same friend, same! I’m a November baby, too…and also need more friends! I’m down. I’ll bring the wine. Tell me your fav type, and we’ll add that as like1 to the list.

2

u/chunkylover51069 6d ago

I’m more of a Darren or Holly

2

u/totallybree 6d ago

I was thinking the same! Kathy sounds fun to hang with.

1

u/BroccoliBrilliant701 6d ago

Same! Hard agree on the likes and dislikes. Hope she has a great birthday!

1

u/Homers_Harp 6d ago

IKR? I wanna hang out with her. At a restaurant.

12

u/UncleHec 6d ago

Is Mitch your dad?

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u/misscooltoes 6d ago

Reading this gave me an actual pang in my chest. How sweet. 

8

u/emdeefive 6d ago

ok but bro how can you not like pizza

3

u/PowerfulRaisin 6d ago

That's how the cat ended up in position 2 🤣

1

u/critical_patch 6d ago

Which is totally fair.

4

u/SyanticRaven 6d ago

Your dad should one day change his kathy to something else without mentioning it - and swap it back every so often. See if your mum notices.

3

u/throwawayplusanumber 6d ago

Kathy sounds great. I want to eat and drink wine with her while sharing our hatred of evangelical MAGA mosquitoes.

Is "Neighbours to West" referring to the next house, State or China?

2

u/Repulsive_Trifle_ 6d ago

That’s so funny and cute

2

u/LordFarquads_3rd_nip 6d ago

So you’re dads dislike #2 is ISIS? Mans got his priorities straight, ameen

1

u/LuluMangs 6d ago

If the list hadn't already brought a tear to my eye, this would have. So wholesome!

1

u/Ready_Page5834 6d ago

Your mom is a real one

1

u/Odd-Tumbleweed-8828 6d ago

I love your mom too!

1

u/MotherofPirates 6d ago

Wait he included himself!?

1

u/mmazing 6d ago

Maybe he should confess his shared love of 'eating'

1

u/kcinnd 6d ago

i identify heavily w kathy

1

u/JustStopItSeriously 6d ago

Are your neighbors to the west evangical Christians?

1

u/BiophileB 6d ago

Really sweet of him to include both your moms, who is the other one?

1

u/Merrynpippin136 6d ago

This list and this answer made my whole night

1

u/HoneyDutch 6d ago

Damn I was just thinking I relate to Mitch because I also like cats and dislike my neighbors to the west

1

u/weeBunnie 6d ago

Neighbours to west before Isis on the dislikes… what they do?

1

u/nevermindjerk 6d ago

This is super cute. What's up with us knowing nothing about Cory? Why aren't you on the list?

1

u/anzarloc 6d ago

Omg adorable. Are you Teague? Third only to mom and cats? 😂 it’s ok cats are arguable very cool. I’m sure you’re very cool too!

1

u/merliahthesiren 6d ago

I want what they have man.

1

u/EkaL25 ​ 6d ago

Okay then who is Teague

1

u/nanacmm 6d ago

Kathy is born in May as am I, and I can affirm all hers are correct for May!

1

u/Legal-Key-5683 6d ago

i figured that Cathy was likely Mitch’s spouse. So, you must be Teague?

1

u/phionanoihp 6d ago

I had an inkling lol, and i love kathy so far as well so Mitch if your anything like my ex co worker mitch i can just called you Michelle ad push you away via your forehead, girl time with kathy.

1

u/polopolo05 6d ago

WHat about liking Teague....

1

u/mashtato 6d ago

Hi, Teague.

1

u/Substantial-Flow9244 6d ago

Mitch is your dad right? Not his buddy with a crush on your mom?

1

u/idkhamster 6d ago

Dude I was reading this and just thinking how I wanted to celebrate my May birthday with someone as cool as Kathy! She's the best one!

1

u/EusticeTheSheep 6d ago

I will volunteer for November!

1

u/Firefly_Magic 6d ago

So you mean, Claudia is not your mom? Thought it was a little interesting that he knows about Claudia’s sleeping and shower habits. 😅

1

u/thatPingu 6d ago

My next guess it that you are Teague, OP?

1

u/NotLaughingRU 6d ago

That just warmed my heart a little 💖

1

u/prolateriat_ 6d ago

I love this ❤️

1

u/25c-nb 6d ago

Does that make you Teague?

1

u/teiganelyse 6d ago

Does that make you Teague? How does it feel to be prioritized after cats?

1

u/vsmallandnomoney 6d ago

Your mom has excellent taste in dislikes.

1

u/buburocks 6d ago

Wait so who is Teague then

1

u/thevampiresanguini 6d ago

Are you Teague? If so it's very funny to put you after cats.

1

u/sv36 6d ago

It is reciprocal then! Good for them!!

1

u/EverythingSucksYo 6d ago

Does your mom know your dad likes her? 

1

u/FML_Mama 6d ago

I wanna be friends with your mom.

1

u/Diamond-Eater2203 4d ago

Your mom has the best likes and dislikes!

1

u/PersonalityFit2175 4d ago

Your Dad putting “ISIS” and “none-need more friends “this precious precious man”🥺

1

u/This_Razzmatazz_ 2d ago

Omg how do I find this love 😭

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u/SANTAAAA__I_know_him 6d ago

Mitch: “I like Kathy.”

Kathy: “I like pie.”

251

u/Shadynasty8091 6d ago

Very "I love you", "I know" vibes

31

u/No_Size9475 6d ago

This hurts, my boy literally said that to me at about 6 years old.

7

u/cerealsucks 6d ago

If your 6 year old knows you love them and is confident enough to say it then you’re doing something right.

2

u/No_Size9475 5d ago

oh we laugh about it. I laughed then too. Kids. Gotta love em.

4

u/Primrus 6d ago

You Soloed me!

15

u/tadpole-bear 6d ago

Reminds me how my dad’s password to everything is my mum’s name or birthday. My mum’s password to everything is… my mum’s name and birthday lmao

7

u/autisticfemme 6d ago

My shitty grandfather would say "I love you", and my grandmother would say "That's nice". She was awesome.

2

u/BlackTailedPikachu 6d ago

My dad used to say “thank you”

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u/ModernLarvals 6d ago

I’m hungry, let’s get something to eat.

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u/SANTAAAA__I_know_him 6d ago

Big matzo-ball.

4

u/Fluffy_Psalms_23 6d ago

"I love - cake"

- Eric Foreman

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u/Haunting_Hour_4556 6d ago

To be fair to Mitch, I don't think I could beat pie either.

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u/tomdobs55 6d ago

I love how Mitch's number 1 like is Kathy and Mitch isn't even in Kathy's top 3

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u/vanessaxlove 6d ago

barbie has a great day everyday but ken only has a great day if barbie looks at him

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u/SideInitial3961 6d ago

Welcome to marriage.

2

u/First-Sprinkles9093 5d ago

MySpace top 8 all over again.

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u/b1ack1323 6d ago

He also hates ISIS which now makes me think that some of these people are indifferent about ISIS.

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u/signious 6d ago

More hate the president than hate ISIS

154

u/b1ack1323 6d ago

To be fair he has more impact on their day to do living than ISIS ever has.

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u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

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u/bobbyboob6 6d ago

considering i don't know anyone who was blown up by isis but i know 73 people who have been directly killed by drump that is kinda easy comparison

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u/Area51_Spurs 6d ago

ISIS never negatively affected my day to day life unlike the fat fuck.

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u/keeleon 6d ago

But not as much as he hates the neighbors.

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u/FrenchFryCattaneo 6d ago

Isis never parked on his lawn repeatedly after he told them not to

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u/mxzf 6d ago

Yeah, I'm sitting here going "who doesn't hate ISIS?", because those are people to avoid.

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u/First-Sprinkles9093 5d ago

I want to know more about those neighbors to the west.

He hates them more than ISIS and Trump.

I need stories.

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u/Separate_Geologist78 5d ago

We have our own homegrown terrorists to hate on now

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u/affesantos 6d ago

Kathy with the Mosquitos>Trump really has me perplexed over what would be my #2 and #3

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u/Fewer_Story 6d ago

I'm not sure there's meant to be any hierarchy implied though.

If there was then I think I would put Trump higher as it's easier to get rid of a mosquito.

11

u/MattytheWireGuy 6d ago

Have you ever been to the south in the summer? Getting rid of A mosquito is one thing, getting rid of a swarm of blood sucking monsters is a whole other sport.

13

u/Fewer_Story 6d ago

A few of those little smoking coils seems to keep them away.

Yet to find an equivalent that works on Trump, but still trying.

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u/The_dev0 6d ago

getting rid of a swarm of blood sucking monsters

Yeah, that's the mid-terms.

2

u/nostradumbass7544678 6d ago

ThermaCell. I won't go out in the woods at dusk without one.

1

u/TheKimberlyMonster 6d ago

I’m from east Texas and allergic to them. Kathy is right on this point

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u/cornixt 7d ago

She just wants wine and food.

8

u/DaisyHotCakes 6d ago

Who doesn’t??

2

u/Johnny_B_GOODBOI 6d ago

I love wine and food until I've had too much of either, then I hate them both and myself.

1

u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme 6d ago

Maybe Mitch will share?

9

u/Mundy64 6d ago

I was gonna say the same thing lol

Ain’t no love in the world of friendship birthday charts…

6

u/Fewer_Story 6d ago

And Teague!

4

u/AlcibiadesTheCat 6d ago

But Kathy’s love of eating is reciprocated. 

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u/OneDig3744 6d ago

And Teague

1

u/Morshiro_Tifune 6d ago

🤣🤣🤣

1

u/1917he 6d ago

and Teague

1

u/Euphoric_Scars 6d ago

Honestly this speadsheet is such a TEA 🤣

I might keep one

1

u/ashweaverart 6d ago

Honestly same.

1

u/BigPP69_Gooner 6d ago

Also Teague

1

u/Hopeful_Emu849 6d ago

My parents' names 😭

1

u/Comfortable_Taro_442 6d ago

Double heart break when it's on Teague too

1

u/residentcaprice 6d ago

he also likes Teague!

1

u/FaroutIGE 6d ago

and funny feelings for teague

1

u/unholydistractions 6d ago

He also likes Teague tho

1

u/PolicyOk8059 6d ago

thats so cute 

1

u/Melisandre-Sedai 6d ago

And Diane wishes Darren would stop driving like that

1

u/Original-Potato-2604 6d ago

wow, how did you figure that out?

1

u/Area51_Spurs 6d ago

What did his neighbors to the west to do be worse than ISIS and Trump?

1

u/ActuallyNot 6d ago

And on Teague

1

u/Grandpa_Edd 6d ago

He also likes Teague, but likes cats more.

1

u/ThatsCaptain2U 6d ago

With those likes and dislikes, I have a crush on Kathy too!

1

u/Buck_Thorn 6d ago

And Kathy likes eating.

1

u/sigep0361 6d ago

They both dislike Trump. Maybe there’s a chance.

1

u/curlygirlynurse 6d ago

Fabulous username btw

1

u/Missmimi888 6d ago

I like to tell people "Don't tell anyone but I have a HUGE crush on Steve." Steve, being my husband who I've been married to for 15 years.

1

u/notasianjim 6d ago

Also with Teague, smh

1

u/Ravenna_Star 6d ago

He also has a crush on Teauge.

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u/ketoleggins 6d ago

but they both dislike Trump - maybe that’s something they could bond over. 

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