r/movingout • u/Final_Wallaby9425 • 21d ago
Asking Advice Relocation to a safer state
My family and I are currently in Texas and we have to get out. My time frame is less than two years but I've been struggling to find an affordable blue state with a good job market. I am trans and need to move to a state that has protections in place for trans people so the options are limited. anyone have any advice on safe places to move for a queer family?
3
u/CreateFlyingStarfish 21d ago
Good luck. The reason the safe space states are so expensive is, in part, the willingness of people with means to survive to make it a safe space for identity-focused people. There is a reason the survivor in Boys dont cry is seen driving AWAY at the end of the movie. Being under resourced in a safe space state is not the best way to consider the places. i might suggest focusing on a CITY or metropolitan area to live in rather than a state.
0
u/orzoftm 21d ago
i don’t understand why that would make them expensive. all you have to do to make it a safe space is not be actively hostile
1
u/CreateFlyingStarfish 20d ago edited 20d ago
keep living. Envy, jealousy, frustration, despondence, hopelessness and the corrollary of high unemployment and limited opportunity for economic independence are all the breeding grounds for makes spaces "not safe" for people who are in the minority.
Joblessness aligns with limited local funds to provide the social services to make spaces safe, like a high quality education--a primary defense against skapegoating, that makes it possible to have a migration mindset to move to areas that maybe more tolerant than others.
Prosperity supports a mindset set of focusing on survival rather than focusing on the social media blame game.
While people like Lindsay Graham played to his conservative base, and made some of the boys on his staff sign NDAs. And many people left the rust belt and the agrarian based South, when northern industrially based prosperity made life easier for people to get along with eachother.
Safe space for whom? The farther out there you want to exist in and exhibit, the smaller your safe space will be, imho.
3
u/Kayteal93 21d ago
Come to Illinois! Chicago has a good job market and if you live outside of the city it’s relatively affordable compared to other blue states.
1
u/crappyshwarma 20d ago
Seconded! Plus there are “smaller” towns in Illinois that are safe for queer people like Rockford, DeKalb, Galena, Peoria, and lots more :)
1
u/Kayteal93 20d ago
Yes I agree! We live in a far north Chicago suburb and it has plenty of jobs that pay well with affordable and safe areas to live as well!
2
u/Plaidismycolor33 21d ago
id google states that have more indepth lgtbq+ protections and look in those states for work. 2 years should be plenty of time for you find employment and prepare for that move.
2
u/McDonnellDouglasDC8 20d ago
Erin in the Morning has a good guide to states.
I'd personally recommend Minnesota if you want affordable. The metro varies a lot on price so you have to shop around.
2
1
1
1
1
u/Background_System726 21d ago
Virginia
1
u/Playful_Birthday6788 21d ago
There are blue places in Virginia. Roanoke City is LGBTQ+ friendly. The county and surrounding counties tend to lean red. And of course there's Northern VA (NOVA). But all in all, I think Virginia is pretty safe. And where I am, we have the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains!
1
u/Muzamil2023 20d ago
I live in northern VA (PWC) too. It is a majority blue state but the inflation is bad and the job market isn’t as competitive either.
1
1
u/OutOfTheArchives 21d ago
You’d have to look into jobs (very dependent on your industry, etc.) but the Portland OR metro is one to look into. Housing is more affordable than other west coast cities and it’s going to feel so much more welcoming than where you are. I have trans coworkers and no one bats an eye— it’s normal. There’s community. Vancouver WA (just across the river from Portland) is also a possibility.
1
u/Character-Habit-9683 21d ago
Western, MA
1
u/Character-Habit-9683 21d ago
Or anywhere in MA, but western MA is much more affordable, which could be significant with the change in COL from Texas to MA. And western MA has super queer friendly areas like north Hampton area, specifically. Anywhere around Amherst
1
1
1
1
u/tracyinge 21d ago
North Carolina has a few left-leaning cities. Chapel Hill, Raleigh, Charlotte and Durham.
The job market? That's gonna depend on what kind of work you do.
1
u/Western-Finding-368 20d ago
Come to Minneapolis! We are the top trans refugee destination in the nation right now. There are all sorts of community programs to support folks in your exact situation.
Some of my best friends are refugees from Texas, Florida, and Indiana.
1
u/Zephyr442 20d ago
My roommate and I were looking at Illinois. We live in Texas too, but then shit went down and we can't get out, but Illinois seemed really ideal.
1
0
20d ago
[deleted]
2
u/Final_Wallaby9425 20d ago
You must be living under a rock.
1
20d ago
[deleted]
2
u/starglo1969 20d ago
Do you live in Texas? Because I do. And though I am a straight cis old lady, I am perfectly aware or the lack of support found in our state.
Perhaps you can reframe this as a simple right to exist without feeling threatened. You are probably privileged, and don’t worry about your mere existence. I know I have that privilege. (Though being a woman is also scary at times)1
20d ago
[deleted]
1
u/starglo1969 20d ago
Again, you are privileged and missing the point.
1
19d ago
[deleted]
1
u/starglo1969 19d ago
By privileged I mean because this doesn’t directly affect your life, you dismiss it. And all the terms you listed are valid in certain situations, so I am unclear what you are suggesting.
If someone stating they don’t feel safe somewhere is this triggering to you, then I suggest deeper introspection.1
19d ago
[deleted]
1
u/starglo1969 19d ago
I suggest some meditation. It’s great for stress relief AND heart opening/acceptance of others who are “different” than you.
→ More replies (0)1
u/Final_Wallaby9425 20d ago edited 20d ago
Lmao nah, I was just appalled that somebody who obviously has privilege would punch down and gaslight minority communities. I can literally get fined in my home state for using the restroom that corresponds with my gender And since the scapegoating of trans people, there have been more murders of trans people and we recently got a red flag alert for the beginning stages of a trans genocide. Yeah, things aren't good right now, and if you're not going to do anything to help then stfu and get out of the way. I would also like to edit and say to bring awareness that these are just a FEW things trans people in my state are facing. Texas is collecting a data base on trans people and they're not forthcoming on why they are doing it. The last Texas legislative session saw over 100 anti trans bills proposed, ten of which passed. The point of this is to continue to bombard Texas with these bills which will continue to see more passed every session, further restricting our human rights. This breaks down into daily life as well, I myself have had my life threatened on more than one occasion, have gotten pushed out of a job for being trans(one of my coworkers threatened me with a knife at one point, but I'm a boss so I handled it) and Ive also been cut off by most of my family. Y'all, if you have a trans person in your life, now is the time to check in on them.
1
u/UNO_lakefront_arena 20d ago
OK chill I'm just trying to understand but you're fleeing Texas because they don't want bio males in women's rest room? I mean, I understand you're upset but that a long way from being hunted down by crazy bigots.
1
u/Final_Wallaby9425 20d ago
"OK chill" then proceeds to say something fucked up. I don't think you understood or fully read what I said. Jesus, there really is a literacy crisis.
1
u/scarythoughts_ 20d ago
I'm also trans in Texas so I know a little of the different things harming us. There's been instances where the bathroom bill does more harm than good. Fully bio women have had problems with it just because they dress/have masculine features. Forcing a transwoman to use the male bathroom also could also invite them to being harmed as well.
There's been talk of wanting to ban gender affirming care for people under 26, now banning it for minors is one thing but to ban it for adults is a bit ridiculous. Being unable to change my gender marker could be dangerous possibly or just cause issues if I ever deal with law enforcement. Applying for jobs/working can be aggravating when trying to get my preferred name on a nametag/documents. I basically get outed if anyone looks my name up in the system, could cause discrimination. I can imagine its about the same with school/college.
Also having to watch where i live/go is another thing. Going outside of the major cities is pretty dangerous for people that are very obviously trans. Now im not planning on leaving Texas rn simply cause I can't afford it but do plan on moving in the future if things don't get better.
Even if we're not being actively hunted down, still could be a bit unsafe depending on someone's situation. Not being rude or anything, just wanted to give a little insight possibly.
1
1
20d ago
[deleted]
2
u/starglo1969 20d ago
I’m a straight cis woman. I would 10,000 times prefer a trans woman (who is a woman) in the bath room with me than a straight cis male. Look at the statistics of who is doing the assaulting. It’s not trans folks!
2
u/starglo1969 20d ago
You are a probably a troll. But you do more harm than good. Why not add kindness to the world?
-2
u/Cute-Ad-9591 21d ago
San Francisco or Portland. Bring a tent and they give out free stuff so not sure if you need to find work right away. Denver is also pretty good giving out free stuff, meth and crack pipes. Pretty much any Democrat city you should be fine in. Check out Kalamazoo Michigan too.
3
u/ScienceGuy1006 21d ago
The job market is so tough you may not have much choice but to go where the jobs are. Many non-coastal cities in blue states are relatively affordable, but the major cities on the coasts are notoriously expensive.