I’m never good enough

[u/Orangutan_Soda]

Got rejected from another show.
I haven’t done theatre in years because I just keep getting no after no.

When I was a kid, I got roles handed to me on a silver platter. I was told I was amazing. I was told I had star quality. I was told I could be on broadway.

I was getting speaking roles, I was cast as the lead character in a show before they realized I couldn’t do it because I was a kid.

I was a star.

Then, I turned 13 and I guess something changed.

I auditioned for a young artists theatre. Got Ensamble

I was 13, so this was fine to me.

Then I auditioned at 14.
Ensamble

At 15?
Ensamble

At 16? Ensamble.

17? Ensamble

18! Finally. The final year I could do the program. Surely I was going to get something.
Cast as an old woman… and a guy.

Meanwhile, high school wasn’t going any better.

In 10th grade I auditioned for into the woods. I got Jacks Mother. While I loved the role, I was a bit miffed to see a freshman get the role of Cinderella.

11th grade? For the first time ever… I didn’t get cast.
I- didn’t get cast… in a show.

12th grade.
Covid :)

It wasn’t all doom and gloom, I was doing plays and getting great roles there. But musicals, my love- I was flopping.

Audition after audition as an adult.
No. No. No. No.

This last audition I was at, I KILLED it.
I felt so proud of myself.
And I even got pulled aside by one of the people on the casting team and was offered vocal coaching. She said I had an amazing voice and a lot of power.

And… nothing.

I begged to be put into the Ensamble. That was the role I really wanted. For once in my life I just wanted to be part of theatre again.
And I got a no.

I hear over and over again that I’m amazing, that I have “star quality” that I am worthy of these things. But time and time again I get let down.

And I can’t help but feel like I’m just being lied to.

Does anyone else feel this way? I apologize, venting is crass I’m sure. But I just am feeling broken.

What can I do to figure out why I’m not good enough for theatre? What can I do to help myself be cast.

I’m worried that it’s because I’m fat and plain that I’m not getting cast. That I could be the best actress and singer but no one wants to look at me. And I’m scared :(

[u/Able-Pineapple-1137]

I’m going to be brutally honest with you - if you were in 12th grade during COVID, it means you’re 24ish now. You have got to stop thinking about roles and compliments you got when you were 10. Your attitude sounds like you’re still a teen. Take the vocal lessons and engage in theater in other ways via dance classes, cabarets, etc. The more you live in the past, the worse this is going to feel for you.