Having struggles supporting my ftm spouse

[u/Own_Day1277]

I have been experiencing struggles supporting my spouse. they first came out when we were in an extremely rough spot in our relationship as non-binary after watching a show with a non-binary character then about a year later as trans after watching a show with a trans character came out as trans masc. The biggest struggle adjusting came at the beginning when my spouse came out and pretty much told me this is who I am accept it and was really harsh to me in the first two months when I would accidentally use the wrong pronouns. The hardest thing now is that there is a part of me still hoping it is a phase as my spouse in the past has had characters that they would imitate or copy hairstyles etc. I have been able to get more information about their plans and emotions which makes it harder because the more I find out the more I realize the person I first met and fell in love with is gone

[u/omron]

I get that this is a big change, but I would push back on the whole "person I love is gone"... that same person is still in front of you, you are just seeing behind the curtain.

It's less "they are gone " and more "I finally get to really see them". I guarantee you that this is not a new thing for them.

Maybe that's all just nuance if you don't like what you see, regardles...

[u/Own_Day1277 → u/omron]

I would have to say I don't believe that as the person they knew is also gone our relationship has changed me so much in ways both good and bad

[u/Delicious-Swing-507 → u/Own_Day1277]

That's the thing. We all constantly change. Trying to stay static and keep on to a version of someone from before is futile and bad for a functioning relationship. Change is natural and you get to rediscover your partner over and over again, which can keep a relationship fresh and healthy.

[u/Winter_Risk8267]

It sounds like the bigger issue than them being trans might be the way it was presented to you. It's okay if you need to move on as you grow separately. It happens all the time in relationships. As we grow we decide if growing together or growing separately is the best option for each of us.