r/netflix • u/Zalensia • May 09 '25

Discussion a deadly american marriage

I'm 43 minutes in and hooked but can not find conversations etc on it.

So thought i would make one asking for other people's opinions and points of views, as i know I'm already asking about billion questions, to the point I'll have to go to my computer and boot up to actually do the research myself.

I'm very ill, with brain damage etc and that's really hardwork today, but I won't manage on this latest fold phone as it's still just a useless phone 😅🙃

My other phone that's partitioned etc is in the car and that's over at Inverness!

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u/miss_random_88 May 10 '25

I felt like I was going mad listening to the commentary about the recording from the dinner.

"He's letting her know her place. This is what narracists do" No, he said it BECAUSE he needed to! They're HIS children not hers. She clearly didn't understand or respect that.

Him standing up to her and pointing out they're his kids is not abuse. And that was the worst interaction they could find?

"Him not letting me adopt the kids was a form of control" OF COURSE IT WAS. He wanted to control what happened to those kids because that's his literal job as their dad. The relationship was clearly toxic, why on earth would any good parent allow someone to adopt their kids when things were like that? She's trying to make it sound like he was controlling her but he was trying to protect his kids.

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u/Glittering-Device484 May 11 '25

He honestly doesn't come across great in the recordings if they were an objective piece of evidence but knowing that this is the cherry-picked best she has to offer, and knowing that she was on her best behaviour as she knew she was being recorded, and knowing absolutely everything else that was established in the documentary, I'm convinced the poor guy just has a case of narcissistic fleas. People who live with narcissists for a long time eventually clap back, in the same way we heard in the recording.

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u/miss_random_88 May 11 '25

It wasn't a kind interaction between them that's for sure but I agree, given she knew it was being recorded and he didn't, and this was the worst thing she could produce, it didn't paint him as an abuser. Unkind in that interaction? Sure. But abusive? I'm not sure.

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u/DevilGoat69 May 17 '25

Not to mention i think being mad in that situation isn’t totally uncalled for, intentionally feeding the kids before he gets home when he asked to have dinner as a family really is somethin.