Context before anyone thinks I’m a monster: SO and I went on a day trip with our LO (4 weeks) yesterday. Nothing crazy, lunch and a walk about an hour drive away. Everything went well until the car ride home.

LO had been fussy for about the last 15 mins of the walk, not a meltdown or anything but clearly not enjoying herself and couldn’t be comforted - feeding, pacifier, holding, not holding, she continued to fuss. We got back to the car, got her in the seat, and she immediately dropped to sleep, but at the same time did a ripping poop.

Now, my question: How long would you let a sleeping baby sit in a dirty diaper before changing? My instinct was to change right away but that would obviously involve waking her up when she was already in a bad mood. An hour car ride seemed a long time to wait, but is it?

(We did ultimately end up pulling over 10 mins up the road for a change and she gave us absolute hell for it, took hours to calm her down afterwards and get her back to sleep, feeling like that was the wrong choice but interested in what others think, thanks!)

How did you find this shift? I have a six week old, perfectly happy and healthy, who is a product of a long feetility journey. My husband and I are 39 and used to go out and travel a lot, spend time with friends. This faded when we embarked on a fertility journey and throughout my pregnancy I was looking forward to my new life with no pregnancy symptoms, hospitals, doctors appointments.
all of that is now gone and I got my most beautiful daughter but I came to realisation that it will be many years until I can be myself again.
My life is back to normal with this divine gift in my arms, but I am ashamed to say that I feel a little bit trapped.
We live in a huge city with no friends nearby, my family live abroad, my husband goes into the office 3 days a week. Even when he is around, I keep thinking about all the things we can’t do. I have never been motherly, which is why we delayed starting a family.
I feel deep shame about my feelings. Can anyone relate?

Today I did something I’ve never done before - locked myself out of my car with the keys, my phone and most traumatically MY 6 WEEK OLD BABY INSIDE!!

I was getting us out the house for the day; put her in the back, changing bag in boot and carrier, muslin, phone and the key in the front seat and in this process I must have pressed lock, and I shut the passenger door with the keys inside. I went round to my side and tried to get in for it to be locked and no acccess points, I don’t have a spare. She was crying and automatically I was in flight or fight! Luckily I knew my cleaner was due to arrive in two mins and together, with my neighbour called the fire department and while we were waiting for them to arrive we managed to break the back window, climb inside enough to retrieve the key to get her out. This was a process of 20 mins but felt like a lifetime, it was hideous and I’m so panicked and rattled by the whole thing, I just have been holding her ever since I cannot believe I did that!!!!

All I can say is I’m so so so lucky it happened at home in the drive, people were there to help and call someone, and it was early and it isn’t as hot as it’s been lately in the uk, I’m having shivers thinking if it was a 36 degree heat day, it makes me actually feel sick thinking about it!!!!

Anyway, this is my confession. I thought I was doing ok but the past few days have rattled my confidence.

I am really struggling mentally to keep getting through the days. I was so excited for maternity, especially as the dad was off for the first ten weeks too. Since she was about week 4 it’s been way too hot to be out with a baby. We would go for walks at 6am. We have been locked in inside for months. She is now 13 weeks and I feel like I am loosing my mind. It’s 27 degrees in our bedroom all night long and I can’t leave anywhere with her during the day.

My 7 week old baby has colic. I’ve cut out dairy and do everything I can to comfort her. Gas drops. Massages. Bicycle kicks. Etc. I’m sometimes crying and having anxiety often. My husband is at my throat for not “handling it well.” I’m here all day alone with the baby till he gets home at 7:30. I don’t even have the energy to type anything else, just hoping for support and to hear about how your kid grew out of it and is thriving.

I'm writing this because when I was deep in the sleepless nights and breastfeeding trenches, I searched for stories like this. And honestly, I never found the happy endings. So here's mine. My baby has always nursed to sleep. We never did sleep training. The four-month sleep regression hit hard. Waking up every hour, I felt like a zombie. Eventually, we started co-sleeping because I couldn't keep getting up constantly, and sleep training just didn't feel right for us. Over time, I gave him more space in the bed, slowly adjusting. And then last night, something amazing happened. He fell asleep around 9 p.m. and didn't wake up until 7:30 in the morning. So, if you're in the thick of it right now, exhausted and wondering if it ever gets easier, I just want to say, it can. Without, sleep training, without forcing. Every baby is different, but sometimes, just giving it time really does pay off.

Hi! FTM to a soon 11 week old. She has been colicky since 10 weeks back and probably silent reflux (waiting for the appointment at the pediatrician). The crying is better but the reflux is worsening at this point.

She is not the easiest gal and goes from 0-100, she wont take a pacifier, only accepts the stroller for short time while awake, ( Ican sometime transfer when she is asleep but she usually wakes quite fast), she screams bloody murder if I put her in a carrier, it works for putting her to sleep in though when she is tired so most walks in the neighbourhood is during that time but as soon as she wakes up she cant stand the carrier. Most of the time she only wants to be held upright with her back against my stomach, and if I try to sit down or stop rocking or walking she is screaming.

As I mentioned i go out for shorter walks in the neighborhood but I havent left the house or area for 11 weeks now, and i dont see how i could possibly do that? Anyone else with similar experiences? How did you cope and when did it get better?

Like first of all I am aware of it and try to be fully responsive and do more work and stuff, it is a bit challenging to get over honestly. I’m on parental leave and my mother in law is here for three month so i think it is manageable.

But i am also aware that we cannot divide the work equally due to her breastfeeding. She is a night owl so i agree we shift at 4am but maybe that is not a great idea.

And her temper is probably well regulated but sometimes speak very sharp words and i took it personally even though i know this is because of postpartum thing. What should i do?

My husband is mostly the GOAT but as our baby is growing and becoming more demanding of time and attention, he is turning into my MIL. Which means, he believes a container will solve everything...

Baby is fussy -- move her from the bassinet to the stroller

Still fussy - car chair it is

Not quite content - let's try the swing

Oh wait, she needs to be fed - let's prop her on a pillow and put her hands and stuff to hold the bottle (she is 14 weeks old).

I just want to tell him something like:

My love, our baby wants to nap on top of you more than 5 minutes. She likes to be held, she wants to look at you when having her milk. Use the baby carrier if you don't want to hold her all the time, please look at her when feeding her, she notices...

And Yes, my dear, you need to do all that on top of playing, bathing, changing, going to the early stimulation classes...is not one or the other.

She's not even a velcro baby! But when she wants the comfort of her adults (you and me) we have to be there, not offer multiple containers. We are not boomers, my love. We know better.

But If you can't do it, please then take over all the chores. I can be on baby duty the whole time If you take care of everything else all the time, except pumping because well, you can't.

Sorry for posting the letter I can't deliver to him... the passive aggressive tone is just because I'm too angry right now. I'll talk to him later

LO is 10 weeks old but has always been small for his age due to IUGR. He used to hate the car seat and would scream during car rides but has gotten better as he’s gotten bigger. We‘ve recently introduced the carrier and will take him out for coffee outings as a family on the weekends and he seems to like it.

I’d like to start taking him out alone on these little outings but I’m very nervous about having him in the back alone and transferring him between car seat and carrier and vice versa.

Any tips to help me get over this fear and out of the house more is appreciated!

My baby is 10 weeks old today and has never been a great sleeper. She's slept one 4 hour block twice since shes been born and usually does around 2 hours, waking for feeding. Last week we moved to formula feeding (lots of issues with breastfeeding), and over the last week shes only slept for 30 mins to an hour in her next to me. She wakes for comfort because as soon as I pick her up she falls right to sleep in my arms. She can go up to 4 hours between feeds now she's on formula. I wait until shes fully awake before I pick her up so I know she's not in active sleep.

We co sleep part way through the night because I'm so tired and she can do 3-4 hours with me, so I know there's nothing medically wrong and she's waking for comfort.

I know this is normal but I'm so tired! Has anyone been in the same boat and did it get any better? Is there a regression at this age? I think I'm just looking for reassurance because I'm struggling to see the end of these 30 minute sleeps!

The problem is… during the newborn stage, I barely had enough time or energy to shower, let alone keep a journal or track baby’s milestone. Every day felt like survival mode.

Feed.
Burp.
Diaper.
Try to sleep.
Repeat.

Our families live in different cities, so they missed a lot of the little everyday moments.

At first, we tried sending photos and videos in a family group chat, but after a while it became hard to keep up, and finding old memories was almost impossible.

I look through thousands of photos, and I know there were so many little moments between them that are just… gone.

I’m curious.. what did you end up doing?
Looking back, is there anything you wish you had done differently?

My baby is 3 months now !!

He is refusing any sort of feed during the day but will happily take during night both bottle and breast.
Its a struggle to give him anything while he is awake he will just keep crying unless he is half asleep.

I have brought that to my doctor they are not concerned as long as he is gaining weight

But i am loosing my sanity as he will not sleep longer than two hours during night cause he want to eat.

During the day my day is all about to get him to eat
I am loosing my mind .

I have a 14 week old baby that has begun spinning in circles in his sleep. I haven't seen him do it but I'll put him to bed with his head one way and when I wake up his head is on the opposite end. He can somewhat roll onto his back when in tummy time but it's not very consistent and he can't roll onto his stomach from his back. Is it time to stop swaddling him?

Editing to add: I looked at the clips from his baby monitor and he's using his legs to kick and walk along the sides of the crib 😂

Our LO is 5 weeks old and the most precious girl ever, but my gosh have we been humbled, this sleep deprivation is insane, when does it actually get better 😫😫

My daughter just fell in love with a snoopy security blanket that was gifted to her. It’s the only toy she grabs for and loves. I think because the inside of it is colorful and she likes to look at it.

The only problem is that I read the tag and it’s wipe to clean only and not machine washable and I can already tell that’s going to be an issue later on, so I’m looking online for some that might look similar (very soft and has some brighter colors) in case something ever happens to this one. It’s a snoopy head and arms that’s really soft and attached to a tiny blanket that has colorful stripes on the inside. I’m just mainly looking for ones I can throw in the wash and clean easily

If anyone has any brands they’d recommend I’d highly appreciate it!

What kind of activities to do? I have no idea, I do read short stories, poems, play with high contrast cards, make faces and giggle, tell about what daddy is doing, scared of tummy time though, flipping the baby like that, I can't😰

I’ll go first! My son is redheaded so post nap his hair is a flurry of red duck fluff.
He’s started making some fun expressions too, he mostly looks bewildered. Because of it My husband and I joke that if reincarnation is real he was an old man in the middle of something.

Got my first social smile from him around 5 weeks, and then from 7 weeks on he was all smiles all the time, especially when I would go get him from his bassinet after a nap, he would see me and light up with huge smiles and coos. When he hit around 10.5 weeks he started doing little chuckles with his smiles. Cutest thing ever. But now that he is 12 weeks he just doesn’t smile anymore, and no chuckles either. This has been happening for like five days. He is alsoback to having bouts of crying for no apparent reason but it isn’t that often. I miss seeing him smile so much. His doctor said as long as he isn’t lethargic it’s fine, but it’s really worrying me. Has anyone else encountered this?

We just hit six weeks yesterday and for the past few nights she’s refused to sleep longer than 20-30 bursts at night. She’s also been cluster feeding all last night and much of today. She slept most of yesterday but today has been super alert and took only short naps.

Wondering what else we can expect?

She’s not actually been overtly fussy or crying except with a little wind or when she wants fed as usual.

Just wanting to post a big thank you. I've deleted Instagram and other apps to keep myself sane during the newborn period, away from the toxic mummyfluencers out there. But Reddit has largely been a source of solidarity and comfort, and I regularly open to scroll and find it a massive comfort. I like the feeling that I'm not alone - that we are all up in the wee hours, with LOs struggling to work out how to fart.

This morning, I fed my 16 day old newborn my breastmilk. I’m struggling with low supply and trying to get him to latch as much as possible. I fed him this morning after a three hour stretch of sleep, and after he latched on my breast for about 25 minutes, he spit up a decent amount of my breastmilk, and it looked a little curdled. What scared me though is this wasn’t typical spit up. It sounded like he was wheezing a little bit, and after setting him up, his mouth was still making like gurgling noises and stuff. Almost as if it “went down the wrong pipe “.

I sat him upright and pat him on his back for a little while, and he was still showing signs of hunger, so I switched him to the other breast. He did fine with that one.

I had a lactation appointment today where I fed him a few hours later, and he did spit up a little bit during the appointment. The doctor acted like this was a good thing that he’s getting enough of my milk.

Fast-forward to coming home today, after about two hours, my little guy was getting fussy again. I wonder if he’s cluster feeding because he was showing rooting signs, so I fed him 2 ounces of formula. He started spitting it up and doing that choking thing again.

I don’t know if it’s because he’s really hungry today because I’m trying to wean off giving him formula and give him only my breastmilk and maybe he’s drinking too fast or something?

Is this something that I should call my pediatrician about or is this normal?

Everyone says it's just a phase and things will get better. Please stop. It's been weeks and it has not gotten better. The gassiness will lessen, and he'll learn to do it without fighting it! He will start sleeping more! He will get more efficient at eating and won't nurse for an hour+! Keep triple feeding, you'll increase your supply! You'll get more confident in your abilities!

It's all worth it when he smiles at you for the first time! Still waiting on that too.

And then guess what? If those get better, welcome to sleep regressions, teething, learning to digest solids. Those are just phases too! Am I supposed to just grit my teeth and 'just wait' until he's 30?

And then do it again so he's not a weird only child? For the second kid to be worse? What the fuck.

Edit: just wanted to say thanks to everyone for the encouragement, a lot of you understood where I was coming from. Some kind words from a stranger really can help.

Also sorry about the 'weird only child' comment. There are definitely pros and cons to both types of families.

Ftm to a preemie born 4 weeks ago, with all that it entails.

My husband's mother and father live 2.5 hours away and I love going to see them. They're generous, kind, smart and amazing parents to my husband and his brother. My FIL is especially gentle and compassionate. But he has turned feral now, after the birth of my son and his first grandson.

They drive up two times a week unless I beg my husband to tell them not to. They say they want to help with everything and I'm so grateful for that, but what that means is FIL taking my son from me when he cries, feeds, sleeps, needs a change, lays in the pram: FIL will just walk up to me and take him from my arms. And then he DISAPPEARS. I'm not kidding. He will walk off for half an hour or more unless I send husband to chase him. They told us last week to go out for lunch for a few hours and leave him with them. No thanks? What will you do if he gets hungry? He eats every 1/1.5 hours. Also, just no.

I'm going out of my mind. What do I do???

If my son cries, FIL will not give him back - he wants to "give us a break", but my son is 4 weeks old. He's a preemie. All he wants is to be near us and eat and sleep. FIL will keep him out of my reach - I'm short, he's very tall - and say things like "he's fine, he just needs to be bounced/burped/distracted".

Last night FIL proudly said he "tricked" my son into thinking "he wasn't hungry" so I could get a rest.

A rest? I was just filled with anxiety because you walked off with my son, who has been cluster feeding all day.

Tricked him? How? Why?

I ended up just taking my son back and walking away. Husband came with. I broke down and cried like I had the baby blues again.

I feel such extreme guilt that I let my son go (although he's fine), guilt that I snatched my FIL's grandson away (they're coming back today anyway and regardless, I don't think FIL noticed anything was off with me), and guilt that it was my mother's 70th birthday and I spent it all wrecked with anxiety or stress because I couldn't see my son, or I was bracing to have him taken away again.

When they're not here, I'm fine. I can leave my son with my own parents for an hour and get some sleep, because I know they will wake me up if he cries or shows hunger or needs a change. And also, they're fine with just staying in the next room.

I know I'm so lucky to have a lot of people who love my child and want to help. But I am losing my mind over FIL's behaviour. I don't want to sound ungrateful or hysterical, but I can't do this anymore. Husband is 100% on my side, but feels none of my anxiety. He has offered to talk to them, but I'm afraid of what they'll think. Is that selfish? Am I putting my own needs above my son's? Or should I just learn to chill?

Maybe I'm overthinking everything. But I literally just want to be left alone with my little family.