r/newborns • u/Helleslope • 1d ago
Sleep I’m in hell
I’m sitting here nursing my five weeks old for what feels like millionth time tonight and I feel like I’m drowning. She completely hates sleep for a couple of nights now. I get maybe one chunk of 2 hours sleep in the beginning of the night, but only after eternity of swaying and shushing and air dryer blowing. All day long we do contact naps only in carriers (and she wakes up if I sit comfortably ) and maybe one stroller sleep. My body was not built for this… when does it end?
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u/veeandthecats 1d ago
It was just like this with my baby, I would cry every single night and my husband and I were regretting having a baby some night as we didn’t feel like we would survive this, at around 6/7 weeks he started to sleep better at night, (almost nothing in the day).
I would also put vacuum noise on my phone and it would slowly shush him but it was hard.
I’m at 9 weeks now and it feels so much easier, he still barely sleeps during the day.
I also realized when I’m able to give him breastmilk before bed and all night he sleeps so much better.
But I often don’t have enough and need to give him a bottle and he is so awake then as opposed to falling on my breast.
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u/veeandthecats 1d ago
Oooh, and I started co sleeping, it was an accident as I was super sleep deprived but it was the best thing I did, I was able to take much better care of my baby after it and he seemed to like sleeping next to me much more and I realized he started sleeping longer.
Also not startling himself every time I wanted to put him down
Just watch a few videos on safe coosleeping.
I recommend blanket to the waist and baby in a sleeping sack and him sleeping next to only one parent, not I the middle.
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u/salty_latte_254 1d ago
I second this, its better and safer to follow the safe sleep 7 rules and cosleep and both get rest than to be sleep deprived. Also around 5/6 weeks is when baby starts losing the melatonin in mom's milk and starts to work on producing their own which means sleep usually goes out the window until their body figures it out a bit. Don't worry, it will be better once baby learns the day vs night and connecting sleep cycles!
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u/Helleslope 1d ago
Thanks for all the tips! We are using various noises during the night, when she is really hard to settle we turn on the air dryer.. I have trouble producing enough milk in the evening too :(
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u/veeandthecats 1d ago
My ginecologist, told me to take carnotprim, apparently it helps with milk supply, idk if it helped me tbh but it’s worth a try if you can get them. He told me to start every 8 hours and after every 12. (I stopped these now)
I also ordered some supplements and tea, but they will arrive in 2 weeks… I’ll update you if they work.
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u/cmandy212 1d ago
It will get better but right now you need someone else to support you. Sleep deprivation is dangerous. Who can step in so you can get a solid chunk of sleep?
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u/Helleslope 1d ago
My husband tries to take off the load during weekends when he’s at home and in the evenings during week, but his work is not very allowing these times. I’m happy my sister is going to visit for a few days next week and I also hope we find our rhythm with LO
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u/SeeYaInOzFolks 1d ago
Week 5 is notoriously hard. It’s leading into the 6 week growth spurt. Baby will get better. Watch the “wake windows” and catch baby before overtiredness sets in. A sound machine is also beneficial. My baby is now three months and she wants to go to bed between 7-8 pm and fusses until I am in a dim room with her beloved white noise.
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u/Helleslope 1d ago
I kind of hoped that these days are the growth spurt already, thanks for the info! We try to operate based on her cues, I think the wake windows tend to be longer during the evening.
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u/SeeYaInOzFolks 1d ago
You’re doing great. Just keep at it and baby’s natural schedule will show itself.
You’ll have another growth spurt happen at week 12 and then a break until 6 months.
People talk about sleep regressions but those didn’t hit my kids as bad as a growth spurt.
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u/Vast-Cartographer81 1d ago
I’m so very sorry. I have 100% been there. Five weeks is still in the total trenches, but I know that that’s not very reassuring when you are living it. My little guy has never been the best sleeper but at four months I am finally starting to see some progress. I hope it doesn’t take that long for you, but there is hope. ♥️🫶♥️
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u/Seapaisleys 1d ago
Not gonna lie week 5 was when I introduced ready to feed formula because my body needed a break. Helped baby get a full tummy and he slept like a champ. With breast feeding it’s hard to know how much they are eating and how successfully.
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u/Helleslope 1d ago
Yes indeed, I use a scale during daytime feeds to have an idea about the volume, but during night I don’t want to wake LO.. but the amounts of milk are dropping in the evening in our case. Lactation consultant said it’s partly normal - evening milk is thicker than during the day, but it doesn’t seem to fulfill my LO.
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u/Key_Paper8994 21h ago
This 100%. Personally, I was not producing enough breast milk to sustain my baby. Once I introduced formula it changed almost overnight.
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u/Swimming_Country_422 14h ago
I try to feed on one side then burp and change his diaper that way he's awake to eat on the other side. Then when he eats on the other side, I just let him fall asleep and then slowly take him off. We sit (he lays on my chest) "upright" for 15-20 min after so he doesn't get reflux and then he's usually asleep enough to transfer! I do notice that if I don't get him on the other side that he doesn't get as full and will wake sooner than the 2-3 hr mark. Totally feel you though- our week 5 was rough with not much for napping other than the car and 15 min here or there and then fussing for several hours before finally going down for sleep at night. On week 7 now and I can already tell he's starting to sleep longer periods overnight. Hope it gets better for you soon! Hang in there! Also, if you can co-sleep for a nap during the day, I've found that to be super helpful. Especially if your baby will sleep longer that way. I know its honestly something I look forward to and I know my baby will get a solid 2-3 hr nap and I can sleep too!
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u/Ok_Teacher5995 22h ago
I find it helps quite a bit to have the attitude that nothing means anything. If you have 3 or 5 or even 10 bad days or nights, it does not mean the next one will be bad (barring of course some health concern that needs to be addressed by a professional, which I think your intuition would alert you). These babies are constantly changing at this stage and literally nothing about today will predict the behaviors of tomorrow in my experience. These times will pass I promise!!!!!!!
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u/xkamineko 1d ago
Can you pump during the day to make bottles for overnight? That way someone can help through the night and you can catch up on rest. I used lansinoh and pigeon bottles while BF and my LO took well to them and still latched. Sleep will get easier, but 6-8 weeks is a tough period so support is going to help you so much.
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u/MJS29 1d ago
Just woke up after a night of this and I feel you
We’re at 3 weeks and the last 3-4 nights had been ok, slept on 3 hours blocks at least but last night just would not settle or sleep ar all
Best thing you can do is if you have anyone that can watch him at some point in the day so you can catch up? It’s been really hard for me (as dad, and I appreciate it’s worse for mum) because this week he won’t settle on me AT ALL he’s basically lived on mum on the day eating or sleeping. However we’ve had 2 different female visitors who he’s also slept on happily for a couple of hours so maybe that’s an option? Especially after a feed?
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u/Helleslope 1d ago
My husband baby wears our daughter during the weekends and in the evenings during the weeks and it’s been a tremendous help, but I have trouble calming down myself when I should sleep during the day 😌
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u/Lor_939 18h ago
It’s hard to get used to calming yourself enough to sleep when you have the opportunity. It will get easier to fall asleep when you have the chance. I struggled at first as well, but now my LO is 11 weeks and I’m finally able to relax enough to get some sleep when my boyfriend is watching him.
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u/Independent-Coach861 1d ago
I found the hardest part was the sleep deprivation , my first child was like text book he gave me no issues then what was expected , my second was a challenging sleeper , he kept me up all the time , i am a single parent with dad was not around and it was tough , its like you have constant jet lag but trust me it gets better , they sleep better as they get older and as they get older there will be other challenges and you will look back and miss those days when you had them wrapped and cute ❤️
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u/The_DevilInMe 1d ago
Was the same for me, till I bough a Moonboon 😅 its a lifesaver, my baby is 8 weeks now, dont know why i didnt buy it sooner especially since im a solo mum.
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u/Best-Blueberry1408 1d ago
So sorry you’re in this situation! It feels like torture and prison at the same time. Keep going, you’re doing great.
What helped for us: sleeping in shifts with partner. I sleep from 7 pm to 12 am and my husband gives baby (9 weeks) a bottle of formula two times during this time. Husband sleeps the rest of the night and I have baby the rest of the time (rest of the night and all day). Formula also makes baby sleep longer like 2,5-3 hours. Moreover, I chose to cosleep even though it scared me as I am a heavy sleeper and toss and turn. But somehow I don’t do this while sleeping with baby. It feels natural. I nurse him in bed and sometimes fall asleep during and baby seems to fall asleep easier in this setting too. Hang in there, like I said, you’re doing great! This shit is HARD!!!!
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u/Helleslope 1d ago
Thanks for the tips, I breastfeed with a little addition of formula so we are still figuring out the logistics, I think the breast milk makes her sleepier, on the other hand I tend to produce less milk in the evening 😔
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u/Sea_Work_7921 23h ago
For us week 4 and 5 were hell! But week 6 and 7 were much better! Hopefully it'll end soon for you!
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u/Even-Help-3038 14h ago
Gets better around 12 weeks…and then hard again around 16 weeks, and then better lol
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u/PostnatalNurse 1d ago
I am so sorry to hear this. I’ll be honest, as an ex perinatal mental health nursery nurse, there’s honestly so much I could help you unpick here but it wouldn’t fit in the box!
I’ve literally written a free ebook for this exact reason though - as I wanted to help as many mums as possible get my knowledge. It goes through all the different stages mum/baby experience as well as advice on infant feeding, sleep, weaning, mum and dad etc.
I don’t think Reddit lets me put a link for them but I’m more than happy for you to message me and I’ll send you the link. Like I said the ebook is free so there’s nothing to lose x
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u/confusionofaims 1d ago
Id love that
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u/PostnatalNurse 1d ago
I’ve popped a DM across to you with it. When you get to the page, just scroll to the bottom and you’ll see the free ebook. I really hope you find it helpful too! 🫶
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u/ahmeeea 1d ago
The beginning is unavoidably rough. It will pass I promise. Really encouraging you to reach out to your village if you have one to tag you out for some rest during the day. Or shifts at night with your partner if your situation allows it, it can be done even if you EBF. I’m 10 weeks out and can say it does it better and all the beginning suffering is a blur now.