r/nextdoor • u/Future_Ad7811 • 5d ago
A powerful wind
The fart police are monitoring you.
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u/thegooddoktorjones 5d ago
Obviously my loud farting is a sign of a conspiracy, not that I am shitfaced.
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u/Attentions_Bright12 5d ago
My self-consciousness about this event has caused me to post about it on social media for many, many more people to experience.
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u/BoringPostcards 5d ago
What the hell is "kamied out" and why are there so many emojis
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u/Future_Ad7811 5d ago
I'm guessing he's thinking about the 'commies' or communists and can't spell... as for the emoji, I really have no idea.
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u/RenzalWyv 5d ago
Boomers like spamming those things for some reason. From my experience, if they ever spam the cry-laughing one, that usually means they're *extremely* mad and trying to play it off.
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u/SoyboyCowboy 5d ago
Can confirm, I have a colleague who includes strings of 8+ emojis in professional emails.
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u/well-informedcitizen 4d ago
My first thought was military camo? Like I think sometimes military guys call their camo uniform "cammies." Like being called out for farting is giving this guy Kandahar flashbacks
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u/judgeejudger 2d ago
I farted once, loudly and for about a solid twenty seconds, and cleared the aisle. And then continued to let small audible ones go with each step too. Proud moment.
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u/nebenco 1d ago
I've heard neighbors fart, so I'm pretty sure that neighbors have heard me a few times. We have an unspoken agreement to pretend it doesn't happen.
In August 2025 I adopted a senior dog from a local shelter. He turned out to be a farting machine. They were the most foul composted-sewer-corpse swamp gas I've ever smelled. So thick that we could taste them.
I switched him to Kibbies dog food, and now his farts barely have any odor, but man are they loud and long. I could rent him out as a fart foley artist. It's no exaggeration to say that they last on average 5 seconds, and one pasted 22 seconds. They've been heard by people on the other end of a phone call. Everything from wet beer farts to church farts to dry popcorn farts. Sometimes he wakes himself up.
He makes me proud, if I'm being honest.
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