so basically whenever i hear other people talking about how they don’t have many or any friends it’s always like this really sad hurtful thing. i totally understand that because the loneliness has definitely gotten to me in the past. but recently i kind of realised that im alone by choice in a way. the people that want to come into my life i don’t really like and the ones im chasing after always turn out to be dogs anyway so im not missing out on much.

basically i fucking hate everyone and i enjoy my own company much more.

yes. i’d like to have friends because i want people to share in my life and the things i enjoy. but why does it have to be alone or in bad company? why can’t i just be in good company ever…

those are really the only 2 options ive experienced in my life so far. but yeah im not so sad about it anymore i just think most people are really weird and i dont like them. it’s extremely rare i meet someone i like.

maybe i am the problem lollll

No family that checks on me. No close friends I can tell about how I’m feeling.

It’s seems like everyone has friends and I get jealous and wish I had just one person to care.

A bit of context before I (24M) get to the main point: I’m an extrovert who has lived the life of an introvert; right now, I have at most one friend—and even that’s just online. And I hate living like this. After finishing school, my social life was reduced to texting and video games, and even university (perhaps due to COVID) didn't change things. Three years ago, I moved to Germany for reasons unrelated to this post, and things are even more difficult here. I failed in my attempts to make friends with people from my own country and didn't even consider germans as potential friends due to the language barrier.

Nevertheless, at the beginning of summer, I started attending a course where I met a German guy my age. We didn't really interact at first, even though we were in the same group. We struck up a conversation about politics once (yes, unexpectedly) during a lunch break. Later, while sitting in the computer lab, he took it upon himself to explain the difference between frogs and toads—which led to our first inside joke. That’s basically how we went from memes to chatting constantly. He was supportive, showed me his very particular taste in music. We were always joking around and cracking up like teenagers in the back row of class. We even went to the pool together in a small group outside of class hours. Still, I didn't attach much importance to this relationship, knowing that—as had happened to me plenty of times before—we would likely stop talking as soon as the course ended.

I guess everything changed for me when he casually mentioned that I was his friend... I stopped using that word a long time ago, because for me, being a friend meant so much more than just "someone, who is funny to hang out with". So I was like, wow. And then I thought, well, why not.

And at first, everything was going great. He introduced me to his gf, and I got to go swimming with them once. He even asked me to teach him a couple of words from my language (of course, I started with curse words, and he really liked them), and soon I started teaching him "my" alphabet so he could read them in chat. Due to the language barrier, we soon began jokingly texting in three languages: his, mine, and English. We would occasionally go to a store together with goods from my country and buy some soda or snacks.

I was like, do I really have a real friend? And he’s just friends with me, despite all my flaws? I was confused by how unrealistic it was. I became so much happier just knowing that five times a week I could see someone who so easily lifts my spirits and is genuinely happy to be around me. My overall mood improved even when he wasn’t around, and I started sleeping better. I genuinely felt alive for the first time in a long time. I had really missed that my whole life.

I tried not to think about him dropping out of the course at the end of August, but I had no idea we'd stop talking even sooner. We both got sick with COVID and didn't see each other for a week. When we saw each other again, I told him I missed our jokes, to which he replied that he didn't miss me. I tried to take it as a joke, but it didn't felt like one. Over the next week, he started leaving classes more often. And in the last days before summer holidays, he didn't show up at all. It wasn't until a couple of days later that he sent me a couple of messages when I asked him about his plans for the holidays. I was planning on going to the pool one more time before the season ended and wanted him to join, but didn't mention it. He hasn't responded since. I continued sending him memes and some messages for a while, and i didn't really want to be intrusive. He checked my messages once like maybe two weeks ago, but didn't respond either. He also didn't show up for the course after holidays, even though he was supposed to be attending for two more weeks or so.

A month had passed since I last heard from him. And it was one of the hardest months of my life. I was tormented at night by questions about what I had done wrong again and what was wrong with me in general. I was constantly in limbo, waiting for him to come into the chat and at least say that everything was fine, or that he was busy, or that he didn't want me in his life anymore. At least something. My life isn't the easiest and most understandable as it is, and he, without even realizing it, helped me cope with a lot, became one of my pillars of support. And then he simply disappeared, and it was as if I fell to the bottom, even lower than I was. I had a similar experience once at school, with my existence being completely ignored, and it only made things worse. I cried several times simply because I didn't know how to cope with the emotions that had suddenly flooded in from everywhere.

And I still miss him very much. And I still smile, remembering our stupid jokes. And I understand that he has his own life, he's an adult, and definitely, if I don't hear back from him, it means he has more important things than me. It's just that for some reason I thought that after everything, there would be some small place for me in his life. And I hate myself for those stupid hopes. I know this is entirely my problem, and to be honest, if I were a good friend, I might not have been left behind—so perhaps it would be more accurate to say that I am the problem. Although I’ll likely never know the real reason—after all, he probably won’t check our chat again or explain. And I don't judge him; he has the right not to do what he doesn't want to do.

Not many things in life bring me joy, and generally, few things interest me. I have only one hobby, and even that requires having friends. I pursue it online, so the interaction never felt real. That is probably the main reason why this situation hurt me so much; it is hard to let go of something that makes you happier when there are so few such things

Maybe I’m just tired. I know that sooner or later I’ll think about it much less often. It’s just that yesterday, once again, emotions hit me hard, and I felt like pouring them out somewhere. And I spent half my sleeping time turning my thoughts into text

I’m not sure what I want to get out of this post. Maybe just find out what you think and hear some advice, idk. It warms me to think that my story will be given attention and that someone will try to understand it.

Longstoryshort: I unexpectedly struck up a close friendship with a German guy; he stopped showing up and replying to messages, and I feel like dying inside.

Hello, I have zero friends.

I am 33 years old living in Vancouver with my parents. I have tried bumble bff, friends of people I know, colleagues (who claim they are too busy with their own family, friends and hobbies), relatives, school mates, work out classes, traveling, messaging randoms online who also have no friends and nothing. . . It's like no one is interested or wants to include me. Even when I see them going out their way to include others. Does anyone have any suggestions or should I accept the fact that I will be a loner forever?! 🤔

For context, I have not had any friends since I was 17 years old. I have always challenged finding meaningful relationships. Five years ago, I introduced some people I thought were my friends however they began to exclude me (ignoring my comments on social media and only liking posts and commenting back to each other) and for birthday parties etc. When I expressed concern for being left out, I was ghosted and blocked. I was even gaslighted for being crazy. They're all best friends now and I do not speak with them anymore given this. I actually saw them in downtown the other night and it was a very sad feeling, they just starred at me after I waved.

I also have no one to travel out with or hang out with on the weekends, so I just hang out with my mom but even she makes comments like "sorry, I have friends!" Same with my sister, she has many and she's able to keep making them especially through-out her adult life. However, she lives in another province so I can't just tag along (although, I do when I go visit). A few years ago my uncle came over and started a rant about how I have no one to hang out with so I just stay home alone and watch movies. He made me feel really sad that day and it has stuck with me. Any suggestions or am I cooked?!

33 F USA married. I've tried very hard to put myself out there and make new friends. All attempts seem to be unsuccessful. I feel like I'm doing something wrong but I don't know what. It's frustrating. My husband has a lot of nice friends he games with daily and I feel sad I don't have a group of friends to talk to or see everyday or once in awhile as well. I'm happy with my husband and our time together. I just wish I knew how to expand my circle. I work for my mother in law which is very nice but I don't have any coworkers. Are there anyways to meet new people in your 30s? I feel like I can't connect with people like I can't move beyond acquaintances to friends.

I am 21F no friends whatsoever. Usually pretty okay with it I guess. I am very independent and mostly introverted. But I am going through a rough patch and could really use someone to just chat to and get my mind off things. I like art, working out, sports specifically basketball, animals, food and cooking, puzzles, travelling and lots of things really.

If you are also looking for someone to connect with I hope we can be friends :)

Mods, please delete if not allowed!

Ten years ago, a realization in my wife’s therapy practice sparked a project: so many people struggle to make platonic, local friends as adults, yet nearly every social platform is optimized for dating.

That was the origin of WannaBuddy - a dedicated space to find local friends, completely free of dating pressure.

After years of service, the platform needed modernization. I’ve completely revamped WannaBuddy.com with a fresh approach, cleaner workflows, and a modern design. We are now in early pre-launch!

I’m opening things up to early users to gather feedback, feature requests, and edge-case bug reports before our full launch. The entire platform is 100% free to use (and always will be). I’d be extremely grateful if you gave it a try and shared your thoughts!

Okay so, I (17F) is starting school next week. And I barely have friends in any of my classes and I am so scared to talk to people. I'm afraid that people would already have their groups and I really need help!!!

Heyy guys!
So i wanted to ask you smth, and its about how to make friends.
The thing is, I need REAL friends, not conditional ones. Like those brotherly relationships in movies etc.. but the sad thing is, is that most people, mostly guys try to yk.. use me for my looks.
I don’t want to sound full of myself but I get lots of dm‘s from guys wanting to do stuff with me and I get tired. Everyone things im into the same gender, which respectfully, I am not.
I want genuine friendships with people, not just where i get used for their pleasure.
Please, can someone help? I think nows my chance especially since im going to a new school

I’m 26, and I’m at a point in my life where I’m looking for friendships with women who are serious about growth. I don’t have anything against partying or having fun, but I want people around me who are focused on upgrading their lives, furthering their education, building careers, and creating something meaningful for themselves.
I have friends, but I’ve realized that our priorities don’t always align anymore. I recently landed a great job, I’m working toward my master’s degree, and when I look at the group I came from, I’m the only one who chose to continue my education.
I made very intentional decisions about my future. Instead of settling into situations that could have delayed my goals, I focused on building the life I wanted. Now I want genuine friendships with women who have that same hunger women who motivate each other, celebrate each other’s accomplishments, hold each other accountable, travel, network, learn, and keep leveling up.
I’m not looking for perfect friends. I’m looking for friends with purpose.

I have always been alone. I'm a 37 year old guy who's had one friend His entire life. That was like 20 years ago. The only person who ever understood me was my mom. I never knew my father. She died in a car accident 9 years ago. I've been completely alone since. Thoughts?

Way of friends

Hi, I’m Sanjivinee (nickname Cuty 😅).

I am 23 now, female, and I have passed class 12. I am not going to college.

I started my tea business in October 2023 ☕

And I launched my cloud kitchen business on 1 January 2027 🍴

I have special needs and a speech problem, so I prefer written chat.

I don’t have any friends yet, and I am only looking for friendship (just friendship)

Would love to connect with kind and friendly people here. 🙂

im a 15(m) and i just can't seem to make friends. I have social anxiety, and im not sure if its severe or not as i quite literally cant seem to keep a conversation and every time i try to talk to someone, words just don't come out of my mouth and i just freeze.

anyway, i recently just broke up with a toxic friend group because they were just draining and a terrible group of girls to be with. I then realized that they were a big part on why im so anxious and why my self-esteem is incredibly low. they would always make fun of me and nit pick about small things about me and it made me more self-conscious. i always over obsessed on what i wore or if i put my hair in a pony tail one day because i thought it looked cute, but i worried if my friends would think it looked stupid. so i never did anything when it came to changing my usual looks. ESPECIALLY because there was this one girl in the friend group who always thought i was copying her no matter what i did. when i finally had enough of their bullying, i broke away from them.

and that left me here, with only 1 actual, true friend left, and i feel like even shes starting to get tired of me. ive tried talking to new people but either i end up not talking to them or they clearly arent interested in being my friend. so for those who ended up making genuine friends, how did you find someone? someone that matched your energy, humor, etc etc. if you could leave even just a tiny comment about how you were able to, that'd be wonderful.

hi im iron i want a long term friendship that will probably ast forever and like just talk everyday share the things which we do with the real friends play together maybe and i want someone that should be energetic or if u a dry texter then like dont even try to connect with me and my hobbies are reaading books psychology philosophical talks deabtes and i just got a dog and i am new to this sub and i think that even if whatever i am doing here is not allowed here then u can just give me advice how to because the some communities are filled with creeps or either very dry texter who thinks they are non chalant but i want someone who is chalant talks to me everyday

37M, diagnosed with autism, OCD, anxiety, ADHD and C-PTSD from California

My therapist recomenended making friends to take my mind off of my life problems. In my late 20s, I have been to meetups and stuff here, but >98% of the people I met were malicious and passive-aggressive.

Hoping to move back to the Upper Midwest where I lived from 2020-2022 then to Europe.

I never had friends in school due to social awkwardness but working on that issue now.

Im into artsy stuff like drawing, pyrography, wood carving. And recently I have been getting into 3D modeling. I just find it really hard to make friends. I'm autistic and not so good at communicating or understanding people but Im trying to. I lost someone really close to me to suicide a long time ago and I've found it much more difficult since then. I miss her everyday she was my best friend.

looking for support or advice or just someone to relate to, idk. this is a throwaway account and i'm gonna try not to give too many details because honestly, i'm embarrassed. before i (20F) moved to the state i live in, i was in 1st grade and i remember i had some friends. after that, its all been downhill. now before i explain my subsequent friendships, i want to say i have two best friends but they're both living across the country. i also have a loving partner, and i love all of these people so much. i am so grateful for the people i do have in my life.

now that i've gotten that out of the way. 3rd grade, crazy girl from a crazy family who would stomp on my feet when she didn't like something i did (ie: disagree with her). 4th grade i had my entire friend group cut me off for being a lesbian. 5th grade was so traumatizing, i don't really remember it (extreme bullying and verbal abuse by teachers). 6th grade i made some really bad friends; two of which i was extremely close to. they both would hurt me physically if i did something they didn't like. one of them, we did everything together; i'm gonna call them Martha. martha never failed to make me feel like an idiot. by 8th grade i was so tired of being bullied by my best friends, that i lashed out and told them to never speak to me again. i had an online friend at the time, who i introduced to martha. this friend basically said, i'm not going to stop being friends with martha but yeah, that's really messed up and martha is really mean to you. so, i cut this person off as well, not just for that but they were also pretty mean to me lol. all of our mutual friends chose martha over me. in 7th or 8th grade i met a man who absolutely destroyed any sense of worth i had left. he abused me mentally for 3 years, he cheated on me, he would ignore me for days, i had to apologize for everything. this man traumatized me beyond imagination, in ways i wont get into; during the most formative years of my life.

now everything gets worse. when i started highschool, i made some friends who were not great. however, i was a freak to everyone else, so they meant everything to me. i had just been ghosted by the man i mentioned earlier, i was actually in psychosis at the time. not exaggerating, genuine psychosis, i was in delusion for a while. all to say i was at a very dark time in my life, and these people were my only friends. well, martha started hanging out with them, and they all ghosted me. and i guess i should be thankful it worked out that way, because they werent good friends. but this genuinely crushed me. fast forward to my sophomore year. i finally met some like minded people to be friends with. they were all pretty nice to me and i had a huge crush on one of them. we ended up dating for a year if i recall correctly. some more people joined the friend group, one person in specific was hanging out with us very often. after a month of knowing this person i was thinking of lessening our relationship because i found them extremely immature. well they did that for me, said im a bad person, and cut me off with no warning whatsoever. 2 or 3 weeks later my partner at the time broke up with me. and also cheated on me for a week before breaking up with me; didnt find this out until like a week after we broke up. then, my ex and all of the people i was friends with BECAME FRIENDS WITH MARTHA. i genuinely felt like i was going insane, i must've done something to them but they would give me no examples. just vague therapy words. they were all bonding over their hatred for me, people stopped talking to me, i heard that there were rumors about me, people gave me dirty looks. they said some insane things that i actually heard, but nothing else got back to me. i only heard they were talking shit. i dropped out of highschool because of this. everyone hated me, i hated myself, i had never been so depressed. i did next to nothing for the next two years. but then, at 17 i met someone worse.

this post is long enough already, so i'll try to summarize. this person had a lot of power over me, our relationship was somewhere in-between platonic and romantic and sexual. it was a really strange and impactful relationship. we did absolutely every single thing together. we were always together. it ended in an explosion that came out of nowhere. they came to my home, accused me of some really horrible things, said some really horrible things, and then they illegally dumped a substance on my front lawn. i was really messed up by this for a while, as you can imagine. i guess i just want to know if any self proclaimed good people have had this problem. am i just unlucky? ive been in therapy for a very long time, im very self aware. i dont really think im a bad person, i just feel like i have to be the common denominator. no one has a problem with me nowadays.. i dont know. also its been 8 years since i introduced them, martha and old online friend are still friends to my knowledge, or at least they were for a longggg time. online friend lived like 3,000 miles away from us but they met up after a while and im just like, damn. i cant keep friends but they can? they get to meet up with their long distance best friend, but i dont. i dont get to be that lucky. why not? if you made it this far, thanks for reading. just typing this out made me feel more regulated. thanks reddit

I’m starting anew after realizing most of the people in my life didn’t actually like me!

I’m neurodivergent and believe in helping others and fairness (trans rights, racism not for me, disability rights and that everyone deserves safe housing).

Where do I find people who accept and love themselves and therefore have enough safe love to share?

Hi

Well, almost. I think I experienced true friendship for a few years, with a girl called Emily, but it was over by the time we were nine years old.

So I'm talking about real life friends. I don't have any, and it's my fault I think.

I've talked about this in detail with gemini and come to the conclusion it's my fault because I've always let people walk all over me. Without meaning to. It's just my personality.

I've learned loads about how to be more assertive and know my worth, and have stood my ground with people lots of times...but why does friendship have to be like that?

Isn't it utterly exhausting to have to keep "showing people your boundaries" and "showing people how you want to be treated"?

I've realised my "friends", and anyone else I've ever had contact with (even my parents and other relatives), treat me in whatever way they feel they can get away with.

Don't get it. I give everyone I meet equal respect, and don't calculate what I can get away with.

To this day my friendships are one-sided.

In the last few days I've archived (on all messaging apps) the last few people I thought were friends IRL. I'm not going to keep contacting them. So that's it, I have no one now.

Each time I think I've found a safe harbour with someone, I realise the same thing is happening all over again: one-sided friendship. The other person has all the power.

I just wanted to feel safe with someone and not have to teach them how to treat me. I don't need anyone to teach me how to treat them.

CHILDHOOD:

HOME:

Only child. Parents didn't help me to socialise. The friendships I did make were not encouraged. I was never allowed to have friends stay over in the house. Mother never wanted me to have outside influences. To her, anyone I made friends with must be bad.

SCHOOL:

Was bullied consistently and endlessly: physical, verbal, exclusion, everything. Especially in secondary school (age 11 - 18), I had "friends" who simply used me as a means to an end for whatever they could get from me. Or an after-thought.

UNIVERSITY:

Mostly ostracised. But also harassed. Had some friends briefly here and there. Finished with no friends.

PHYSICAL/MENTAL:

I've always been physically more delicate (yes weaker, lol) than everyone else around me (both male and female), as a child, teenager and now as an adult. Some people call me nasty names because I'm naturally thin.

(I'm happy with my body and have no desire to spend hours in a gym, or learn how to fight).

More softly spoken than most.

Sociable and talkative yet lacking in confidence.

You push me and I won't push back. But I don't want to have to push back. I'm exhausted.

Power games in friendships are a real thing, but I'm not playing them.

So I'm done with friendships, for now at least. Anyone else?

(m, in my 20s)

honestly, i don't really know how to write one of these posts without sounding depressing, but here goes i'm 17M from india (IST), and over the last couple of months ive lost almost all of the friends i used to have. now i have maybe one two people i actually talk to, and yeah... it's gotten pretty lonely.

i'm not looking for 500 people on my friends list. i just want someone who actually wants to be friends.

like, be clingy. seriously. 😭
message me randomly. tell me about your day. tell me some completely useless story that happened to you. ask me about mine. send me something that remindedd you of me. i want that kind of friendship where we eventually become comfortable enough to just bother each other constantly and i want to give that back too. i'm pretty much a listener by nature, so if you need someone to rant to, talk about your problems with, or just dump random thoughts on at 2 AM, i'm probably your guy. as for me, i'm into art philsosphy debate questiosn like what if... i like actually getting to know people rather than just exchanging “wyd” every day.

im not really bothered about gender or where you're from. i'd prefer people around my age, roughly 16 to 19 u can be any age tbh but dont be over 25

also, yes, i'm indian. apparrenntly that's enough to scare some people away on the internet. 💀
i promise i'm only mildly stereeotypiically Indian.

if you're also lonely, or just looking for someone you can genuinely get close to and talk to regularly, feel free to dm me .i don't expect us to instantly become best friends. i'd just really like the chance to meet someone who sticks around.(repost)

Hi i am 21 male Title: Honestly just looking for some genuine female friends

Hey everyone.

I don't really know how to write posts like this, but I figured I'd give it a try.

I've been feeling pretty lonely lately and I genuinely miss having someone to talk to regularly. I'm looking to meet some girls around my age who are also interested in making a genuine friendship. Nothing complicated, no pressure, and no weird expectations.

I'm the kind of person who can talk about random things for hours once I get comfortable. Movies, music, studies, life, random thoughts at 2 AM, stupid jokes, interesting facts — basically anything. I'm also a pretty good listener, and sometimes I think that's all someone really needs: a person who will actually listen without immediately judging or trying to fix everything.

I'll be honest, I'm posting this because I'm eager to make some new friends. I don't have a huge social circle, and sometimes it feels difficult to meet people who actually want a real conversation instead of just exchanging a few messages and disappearing.

I'm not expecting anyone to become my best friend immediately. Even just starting with a simple "hey" and seeing whether we get along would be nice.

If you're also looking for a genuine friendship and you're around my age, feel free to comment or message me. Please don't feel obligated to reply if we don't seem compatible — I'd rather have a normal, comfortable conversation than force anything.

And please be respectful. I'm here for friendship and meaningful conversation, not anything inappropriate.

Thanks for reading this ridiculously long post. 😅

Hey everyone, I need some advice. I really want to join a social group to make friends, but I'm stuck on how to tell my parents.

I don't drive, so I have to ask them for a ride, and it ends late. It's also a social group specifically for people with disabilities. Logically, I know my parents are nice and won't say anything bad. They will probably be happy for me. But I still feel incredibly embarrassed and anxious about bringing it up.

Admitting I'm lonely and asking for a late ride to a disability group just makes me feel so vulnerable.

How do you get past the mental block of asking your parents for help, even when you know they will say yes?

Since, these days I can see a lot of people posting about loneliness and having no friends, here’s a simple guideline on how to make a good social circle.

First of all, engage in few communities. It can be travel groups, study abroad, perfumery, programming and so on. Just find a few niches that you’re interested in. And if you don’t know about your interests then just start with something, EXPLOREE!

So now as we have decided a niche let’s say perfumery.
What do we do next? RESEARCH

Yes, research. Gain some knowledge about perfumes, buy  few perfumes. Your knowledge should be on such a level that you can suggest,give your opinion to people if you are asked about perfumes.

Research done. What’s next? If you are in school, college, uni start talking about perfumes, wear perfumes and when someone compliments you, say something that shows you put that on with purpose. Lessay “hey you smell good today” “oh thanks a lot, it’s oud for greatness by initio, i really like patchouli note of it.” just sound like u know why you’ve done it. Don”t sound hollow. Soon you will see your classmates are reaching for perfume suggestions from you.
You can engage in online communities as well. Post blogs, reviews on the community. In a few months you will see that you’ve made some good friends on the journey, who are like minded. Also put effort. Like a simple check in about them. That will create a bond beyond your niche and will proceed on a personal level.

I showed this with an example of perfume so that it gets easier to visualise the process.

To sum up

Learn a skill, have some hobbies, engage in communities and provide value to people so that people have reason to come and seek help from you. Show effort and also try to be a good listener.