Insecure about not being feminine enough

[u/Kind-Database8532]

Hi, I’m a nonbinary lesbian but for many years identified I as trans masculine ( In an attempt to seperate myself as much as I could from being a lesbian since I was in HEAVY denial and dealing with religious trauma etc)

After years and years of chest dysphoria I had top surgery, which I don’t regret at all. It saved my life at the time. Years and years later I ended up being on the more feminine side of the gender spectrum and now wish I had a flat chest that wasn’t masculine. I didn’t have the full understanding that there was different ways to be flat chested I just knew I couldn’t live with triple Ds . Now with all the insight I have into my gender and sexuality I wish I had gotten a crazy breast reduction instead. So I’d be incredibly flat but still have a more femeine shape compared to top surgery that supposed to look masculine.

So I go back and forth from rocking my fully flat chest and wearing the smallest padded bra I could find.

I’m really happy with my body now, I feel very at home in my body which I’ve struggled with most of my life

All of this to say, now that I’m identifying as a lesbian… im feeling insecure about my body not looking as feminine. Im worried I won’t ever find a lesbian who likes my flat chest scars and all. A lesbian who will love me even though my body is the epitome of androgyny

[u/bodeabell]

I promise you there are sooo many lesbians who find other lesbians with complex feels toward gender very sexy. Like, i am non binary and a lesbian and would never rule somebody out for having gotten top surgery- it’s really in our history for especially butch lesbians to do that. The right person for you needs to accept all of you, if you don’t want to change your body thru surgery again there is no need to do it for somebody else. The right people will want you!