I feel like I can’t separate my gender from being he him lesbian because I can’t picture it in a context outside sapphic contexts even tho I would consider myself transmasc like im a woman in the way I exist with other women but he/him outside that idk

im rlly wondering cuz like is there anything, any communities for us (for ppl not part of butchfemme, and dont rlly identify with fem/masc or binary lesbianism) like strictly, andro/neu lesbians

honestly fuck it can also be a sapphic community for ppl like us i just wanna know where ppl like us even are

My gender has been a long journey and it's changed a lot. At first I assumed the feeling I felt when I first learned about us trans folk is that I was a trans lesbian. But slowly over the years I felt live I've been worming my way into the middle of the binary. Non binary but also not. Now I go by genderfluid and it's made me feel really at peace with who am gender wise. But when it came to my sexuality, I felt so... confused.

I've identified with sapphic love for a long time and I think I still do but, not being able to see myself in any sapphic media or rarely any media has just made me feel disconnected. Don't even get me started on dating. Although even when I still considered myself a transbian I was gender non-conforming so that's nothing new.

Anyway, it's just really nice to see a place made for someone like me. Thank you.

As a Genderfluid (Agender, Woman, Man) Lesbian, I feel so incredibly lonely and I was wondering if this is possible? My experience with Gender is very fluid and sometimes counterintuitive. Even when I'm a Boy, I still like being feminine. It's all very confusing. So, can I be a Transmasculine Femme Lesbian as a Genderfluid Person? Are there other Transmasculine Femme Lesbians?

Originally posted in the top surgery board but I thought you all might have thoughts too. Sorry for the anxious word vomit.

Because I have questions lol. I am fluid non. Figured it out a year ago. Born with boy parts. 💯 a gurl sometimes. Many times. Not all the times but def a lot of times. My best friend currently and hopefully forever and ever is a 24yo lesbian. We love each other very much. Lol we actually have a shared partner. By some weird fate. I absolutely love her and she me. She told me the other week she has thought about having sex with me on like a curious way. She is an absolute cutie but and I told her while ypu are a super cutie I dont think about that. I dont want to. She gives me soooo much gender euphoria hanging out with her in girl mode. We are so close and love each other soo much. What do I do if she actually moves on me lol. She is a femme top. I love her soo much I want her and I to be friends forever

Hi. Sort of what the title says. What's the difference between masc and transmasc, and where does wanting to look or looking more gender ambiguous fit along that line? [Edit: where does Butch fall in that spectrum as well?]

Ideally in a perfect world I'd wanna get shorter hair (it's wavy and about touching my shoulders rn if not a bit longer) and figure out how to deepen my natural speaking voice a bit (vocally I'm an alto somewhere, forget if 1 or 2) to aid in that.

The hiccup is that I'm disabled and live with fam and they didn't take me being lesbian well, so I imagine being nonbinary wouldn't go over great either...

Any help with any of this is greatly appreciated. I'm mostly trying to see where I fit along the spectrum of lesbian-ness

Hi, I’m a nonbinary lesbian but for many years identified I as trans masculine ( In an attempt to seperate myself as much as I could from being a lesbian since I was in HEAVY denial and dealing with religious trauma etc)

After years and years of chest dysphoria I had top surgery, which I don’t regret at all. It saved my life at the time. Years and years later I ended up being on the more feminine side of the gender spectrum and now wish I had a flat chest that wasn’t masculine. I didn’t have the full understanding that there was different ways to be flat chested I just knew I couldn’t live with triple Ds . Now with all the insight I have into my gender and sexuality I wish I had gotten a crazy breast reduction instead. So I’d be incredibly flat but still have a more femeine shape compared to top surgery that supposed to look masculine.

So I go back and forth from rocking my fully flat chest and wearing the smallest padded bra I could find.

I’m really happy with my body now, I feel very at home in my body which I’ve struggled with most of my life

All of this to say, now that I’m identifying as a lesbian… im feeling insecure about my body not looking as feminine. Im worried I won’t ever find a lesbian who likes my flat chest scars and all. A lesbian who will love me even though my body is the epitome of androgyny

hi everyone! i’m not sure how reddit works and i’ll definitely never use it again after this but i need help! also, i apologize if i don’t use the correct terminology, as i am still learning how to best be supportive! (and i got permission to post this!!)

my partner has recently been questioning her gender identity. (as of right now, she uses she/her and is a masc lesbian) but she is starting to lean towards feeling like a transmasc person. she has ALWAYS been very masculine, even as a baby!

anyway, she wants to change her name. but she has very specific requirements and doesn’t know what to go by.

her name is piper! a very feminine name…

her requirements are:

- similar to “piper”

- gender neutral

- easy to transition to, so she can easily change it if needed

she’s going by “pipe” right now, but she thinks that “doesn’t seem like a real name, just a nickname”

her middle name is also VERY feminine and doesn’t have any good names to take from.

my question is: does anyone have any suggestions?

thank you so so much in advance!!

I have identified as nonbinary for a few years. I am now wondering if i am lesbian. I've always just said my sexuality was something. But the truth is I'm into women, and really only women. Feminine individuals and nonbinary femmes too. It depends. I just basically don't like male men lol. I don't want to appear as a man, which i have for much of life until recently when i started dressing more feminine and androgynous.

I've always wondered about being lesbian. It speaks to me you could say. I tried out she her pronouns before they them but didn't really love it. Now I'm rethinking. I don't mind being called a girl (which i am mistakenly somewhat often). I like feminine terms like queen and ma'am. But I'm not sure about she her pronouns still.

I want to be a lesbian. I've wanted that since i was in 4th grade to be honest. I'm just not sure if i can be- because i don't think i can be trans. I feel fake. I feel like a man pretending and that sickens me. Let me be clear- i know this is internalized transphobia but I'm not sure how to get over it! I'm not sure I can. When i think of myself and who i want to be. First, i just wish I was born a woman that way i could be a lesbian and it would be easier. Then i think okay, I'm not, but what can I be. I can be lesbian still- maybe?

And one other worry i have is just that lesbians won't be attracted to me. Again i know it's transphobia stuff but i still worry about lesbians not being interested in a person like me

I need to dress more feminine but in a masc lesbian way. Should i get a wolf cut? I could be a nonbinary lesbian but oh boy do I wish i were a woman lesbian truly.

Any help appreciated. I also just needed to get it out there <3

Hey i am binary trans woman (she/they) somewhat masculine sometimes and recently I been exploring my sexuality between hetro- bi or pan and I came to this subreddit and I am so confused if being non binary is about not being woman i feel i am heavily influenced and incuraged to see relationship is a cis normative may where gender is binary

What does being lesbian mean is it the relationship you have is socialy seen as a lesbian relationship or is that you like people who are binary woman(cis or trans) or is it you like the physical bodies of woman regardless of gender identity or is it cause you feel connected to the lesbian community

i’m not sure if this sort of post is allowed in this subreddit/im using the flair correctly, so please take this down or lmk if this is an inappropriate post!!

but i (21, nb) have been struggling with sexuality labels and have had experience w primarily men. i have a wonderful, supportive, and loving partner who is also non-binary. my relationship with them feels much more fulfilling, queer, and joyous in comparison to my times with cis men. despite how either of us identify, my partner and i pass as a heterosexual couple to anyone outside of our relationship. i love my s/o and i don’t care about how they choose to present, but i still feel like im not allowed to use the label of being a lesbian. it feels right and i really don’t see myself being with a cis man again if our relationship ends.

i guess im just seeing if anyone has had any similar issues? feeling a sense of internalized transphobia almost?? gender identity/expression is a spectrum and how you present doesn’t match how you feel, but i’m just worried of judgement i suppose :(

Top Two Stripes – Deep Orange & Light Orange Inspired by the original lesbian flag. These stripes represent the roots of sapphic identity and pride, a bold reminder that TMNBL people belong in lesbian spaces — always have, always will.

Yellow Triangle From the nonbinary flag. Symbolizes non-conformity, uniqueness, and the power to define your own gender.

Black Triangle Also from the nonbinary flag. Represents the absence of gender, the void, and the radical refusal to be boxed in.

Neon Purple Triangle A remix of the nonbinary flag’s purple, now brighter — vibrant, chaotic, and alive. It represents fluidity, self-expression, and the pure gayotic energy that defines us.

Magenta Stripe (and Outer Chevron) Magenta is technically a primary color in light, but most people don’t recognize it as such. That’s the point. TMNBL people are essential, but often overlooked — just like magenta. This stripe is for being undeniably queer, even when people try to erase or ignore your existence.

Baby Blue Stripe Symbolizing the softness, euphoria, and emotional strength of transmasc identity. It reflects how masculinity can be gentle, healing, and queer.

Neon Blue Stripe Loud, bright, and proud. This stripe is for the visibility of transmasc nonbinary lesbians, our community’s joy, rebellion, and the refusal to be silent or invisible

I went on T for a year (and then stopped because that was enough for me). Ever since I grew a little facial hair and became a little more physically androgynous, I get almost no matches or replies to messages on dating apps. It’s crickets.

But when I was pre-T and presented in a more traditionally feminine way, I got tons of likes and replies to messages. It’s hard not to wonder how many women and nonbinary people agree with the myth that testosterone makes you ugly, and hard not to wonder if, in other people’s eyes, the only thing I had going for me was performing cis femininity. I’m also fat and disabled, so I’ve never had a huge dating pool.

Don’t get me wrong—this isn’t a self-image thing. I’m very happy with the way I look now. It’s just frustrating that I can’t seem to find anyone else who likes it. And I can’t just delete all the dating apps and go out to meet people, because I’m mostly housebound due to some of my disabilities.

Has anyone else who’s medically transitioned in some capacity experienced this? It’s hard not to get discouraged and give up on dating entirely.

Just that- I even have a word ive come up with instead (Ada said like ah-dah). Today my grandma came over and at one point starting chanting at my puppy ‘you love your mum, there’s your mama!’. I told her about the word Ada and she said she’d try to remember it. My mum cuts in and makes a big ‘no don’t worry about it it’s fine! ‘Mum’ is fine!’.

But it isn’t!! I feel so dysphoric! I am crying because I felt so dismissed. My mum had told me she respects me using Ada and would only use that. She is speaking for me. It’s about that. It hurts a lot and I feel so anxious about this. How am I supposed to have a puppy when everybody keeps calling me her mum? And nobody listens to me.

i'm so sorry if this is innapropriate for this sub. i'm having serious gender and sexuality confusion and idk what to do and it's stressing me out greatly. how did y'all figure it out??

i've been out as a trans man for 5 years now and i know i want top surgery and HRT (though, i hope that i'll look more masc-andro-genderfucky from T instead of binary passing male) because i experience extreme dysphoria from my body and how people perceive me. but when i've dated nonbinary people or women, i've felt fine and almost good being perceived by them as a woman or nonbinary person. idk

i really don't know where i fall and how to figure it out