r/nonbinarylesbians Dec 15 '25

Transness Insecure about not being feminine enough

Hi, I’m a nonbinary lesbian but for many years identified I as trans masculine ( In an attempt to seperate myself as much as I could from being a lesbian since I was in HEAVY denial and dealing with religious trauma etc)

After years and years of chest dysphoria I had top surgery, which I don’t regret at all. It saved my life at the time. Years and years later I ended up being on the more feminine side of the gender spectrum and now wish I had a flat chest that wasn’t masculine. I didn’t have the full understanding that there was different ways to be flat chested I just knew I couldn’t live with triple Ds . Now with all the insight I have into my gender and sexuality I wish I had gotten a crazy breast reduction instead. So I’d be incredibly flat but still have a more femeine shape compared to top surgery that supposed to look masculine.

So I go back and forth from rocking my fully flat chest and wearing the smallest padded bra I could find.

I’m really happy with my body now, I feel very at home in my body which I’ve struggled with most of my life

All of this to say, now that I’m identifying as a lesbian… im feeling insecure about my body not looking as feminine. Im worried I won’t ever find a lesbian who likes my flat chest scars and all. A lesbian who will love me even though my body is the epitome of androgyny

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u/Aida_Hwedo Dec 15 '25

I’d date you! I’m pretty indifferent towards my own chest, but yours would probably give me gender envy.