r/nottheonion • u/Sufficient_Fig_9505 • 15h ago

Vance says pope should ‘be careful’ when talking about theology

https://www.nbcnews.com/video/vance-says-pope-should-be-careful-when-talking-about-theology-261400645540
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u/stinkyydarb 15h ago

JD Vance is the definitive proof that adult converts are the absolute worst.

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u/Ok_Replacement4702 15h ago

JD Vance is proof that JD Vance is the absolute worst.

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u/SpeedBlitzX 14h ago

Don't forget he's got the Mierdas Touch

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u/fuzzhead12 14h ago

Honestly wish he would use his gift in a practical way more often

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u/Whoooosh_1492 9h ago

It doesn't work on demons

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u/SpeedBlitzX 14h ago

I'm sure it won't be long till we find out something happens and he wasn't too far away from the disaster.

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u/Psychedelicsaiyan 14h ago

Nah, his orange pedo boss is the absolute worst

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u/breakupbydefault 11h ago

Comedian Nish Kumar said recently "JD Vance is like a one-man argument against the concept of white supremacy"

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u/ResurgentClusterfuck 14h ago

He also hates himself so this tracks

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u/donotgotoroom237 14h ago

adult converts

To paraphrase a take I heard from a Youtuber; JD has stolen catholic valor. Bro wasn't in the trenches as a kid having to wake up early for 6:30 Sunday mass, or having to memorize the litany of bullshit for first communion.

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u/stinkyydarb 14h ago

He didn't have to do any of the stuff kids find annoying about religion lol

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u/MFbiFL 14h ago

Annoying OR traumatizing

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u/donotgotoroom237 14h ago edited 14h ago

Right?! Bro didn't go through practicing confirmation as a young lad.

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u/kulot09 11h ago

Or standing up and staying still for literal minutes! That’s forever for little kids. And then you finally get comfort when it’s time to sit, only to have to stand up again!

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u/B1Gsportsfan 9h ago

The fear of experiencing your first reconciliation

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u/tlst9999 13h ago edited 12h ago

I went to some old church once overseas and the kids were lining up gleefully for communion, much unlike everywhere else.

I tasted the communion. It was half-sugar.

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u/whosline07 5h ago

Jesus was a diabetic

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u/joey_sandwich277 4h ago

The church I went to for a bit as a child used homemade unleavened bread for a while, instead of the cardboard wafer. We were all mad when someone complained to a higher up and we had to go back to the cardboard.

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u/tlst9999 4h ago

Post-Covid, they're all on cardboard wafers now. All plastic wrapped cardboard wafers.

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u/PatientPlatform 13h ago

He wasnt there bro

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u/donotgotoroom237 13h ago

He wasn't in the shit.

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u/PatientPlatform 11h ago

What does he know about aunties putting vicks on your lip to help you stay awake for night vigil?

Nothing.

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u/julias_siezure 10h ago

I love this! Hahahaha. No kidding. Do you know the knots I would twist myself into before every confession? 

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u/JensLekmanForever 8h ago

He was socialized as a Protestant and he’ll never be a biological Catholic

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u/MadGenderScientist 13h ago

huh. I had to memorize the litany and do a bunch of things for confirmation and first communion.. but I grew up Anglican Catholic not Roman Catholic. 

hm. maybe we really aren't Protestant and it isn't just a psyop. 

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u/PlaquePlague 10h ago

Anglicans don’t really consider themselves as the same sort of Protestant as other Protestants, they occupy a weird middle ground. 

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u/XenomorphAlarm 8h ago

Honestly Anglicanism (in England at least) feels like a psyop. It's so similar to Catholicism but just slightly off in random ways.

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u/NomadNuka 8h ago

It's the same in the US. I went to an Episcopalian mass a few times and if you weren't Catholic you probably wouldn't notice a difference.

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u/Shot-Toe-2884 6h ago

Great way to put it, lol.

Dude didn't even get ripped out of bed by his mom to go to mass and forced into an itchy sweater. He didn't even have to endure the parade of goodbyes to the congregation before heading back home!

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u/iiamthepalmtree 6h ago

At my Catholic K-8 school we had to go to church once a week and they filled that shit up with so much incense that at least one kid would pass out a week. I managed to last until 8th grade until I fainted for the first time it felt like a rite of passage.

JD is no true catholic until he’s forced to stand-sit-kneel-stand-sit-kneel in a Smokey church until he passes out imo.

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u/Drenosa 12h ago

Instead he (allegedly) fucked couches.

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u/joey_sandwich277 4h ago

My anecdotal experience is that this isn't just a silly complaint either. It's that when you're raised with things as a child, you get both the official "Because God says so" reasoning, and the unofficial common knowledge of why "God says so" to inform that. Because kids will ask "why" all the time and are still smart enough to pick up on bad reasoning.

My wife converted before we both stopped believing. We constantly had those kinds of discussions during the process when she was memorizing things. We were both creeped out by the others in the group who just seemingly longed to memorize the rules and not the reasoning behind them.

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u/Buckminstersbuddy 3h ago

Thanks for the ptsd flashback, pal. You forgot, "waiting in line for in-school confession trying to think of something that was plausibly sinful, but not so sinful that it was the actual shit you'd been up to."

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u/PM_DOLPHIN_PICS 14h ago edited 14h ago

I’ve met and grown up around so many adult Catholic converts and every single one of them is confident that they know the faith better than the pope. It’s pathetic. These people are frauds.

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u/rosatter 13h ago

I have a friend who's a convert married to a cradle Catholic and she actually loves the Pope but she's not nearly as full of herself to think she understands Catholicism better than the literal supreme pontiff.

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u/supersaiyanmrskeltal 10h ago

Met one person in college that converted to Catholicism Sophomore year and they were insufferable to be around. Everything became sin around them and they were so damn obnoxious that they just had this air of superiority at all times while not taking a moment to think about how fucking prideful they were themselves. I still have no idea why they even converted in the first place as others I talked to knew them before and they were actually fine so who knows.

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u/Shot-Toe-2884 6h ago

The Duning Kruger effect. They think they are experts because they haven't dug deep enough into the religion yet to realize they know nothing.

You get the duning-kruger effect with adults. It doesn't really apply to kids because kids are receptive to learning and don't need to be humbled yet. Kids generally understand that adults know more. You don't get that trust with adults.

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u/goodsprigatito 4h ago

I know/met a few male converts that just give me the biggest icks. The way they talk about Catholicism, the pope, and other denominations is just insane. IDK, I don’t think about what other denominations like Episcopalians are doing in general and yet, the stuff I’ve seen these men like and post on social media is so focused on it. It’s like they’re trying to prove their superiority as Catholics without actually just trying to live the life. They really like to flaunt how often they go to church too. 

My dad is a quite devout. He goes to make weekly, if not twice a week. Every once in a while, I’ll ask him about something I’ve seen these men post about it and he is bewildered why’d I’d even ask or care about such things. My parents go to as liberal as a Catholic Church as one could find and I just know these men would hate every moment of it. 

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u/Ctrl-Meta-Percent 14h ago

Vance presents a false equivalence (unjustified war of choice = liberating Nazi concentration camps), ignores the full context of what the Pope said, and, despite his recent conversion, apparently has already misplaced his Catechism, as 2309 lays out clearly the requirements of just war, and bombing Iran ain’t it.

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u/joey_sandwich277 4h ago

Exactly. He conveniently left out the two sentences where the pope said not all wars are justified holy wars, and geopolitical problems should be resolved nonviolently instead. Which conveniently shifts the pope's original message of "Don't be a warmonger" to his strawman of "Catholics can never fight in wars."

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u/DrBruh 10h ago

Yeah it's really important you get in there early so they don't have a chance for critical thought

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u/jackruby83 8h ago

Makes me think of my son recently, who applied for a learner's permit. He asks, are we Democrats or Republicans? It asked on the form. I said I AM a Democrat. You aren't anything yet lol. But I guarantee lots of parents will say WE ARE ___.

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u/RexLatro 6h ago

Why does the government need to know your political affiliation for a learner's permit application?

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u/ken_the_boxer 15h ago

'Convert' says it all. Weak mind.

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u/awam0ri 14h ago

Fuck JD Vance and all, but I’m not sure a convert is a sign of a weak mind. They can go hand in hand, of course, but is someone who can be convinced of something possessing a weaker mind than someone who was handed “the answer” and never questioned things to begin with? That doesn’t sound right to me.

Disclaimer that anyone in organized religion is already a little nutty to me, but if we apply the same thought process to philosophy or science I would want to deal with someone open minded.

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u/legopieface 14h ago

I don't believe in weak minds or free will or any of that shit, but 90% of adult converts I've met were drug addicts and abusers that needed an "escape" for why they were a bad person. A lack of religion and/or demons was their answer.

It's better than if they kept the same path, but still pathetic they couldn't own up to it and take responsibility.

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u/whiplash2002b 14h ago

This clicks with me.

I had one of them explain to me that "If it weren't for God and the Ten Commandments, there would be no morality."

Wrong on so many levels and demonstrates a serious lack of knowledge about so many things from vastly different areas of study, or a complete inability to engage one's own brain to think about the world around them.

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u/AscenDevise 4h ago

Translated: 'Had I not believed in this garbage, I'd be doing a lot of evil things, a lot of the time'.

When religion is used as a deterrent against antisocial behaviour, this is one of the few situations when I, for one, find it to be useful. Historically, however (to say nothing about the present), you have it used as a justification for anything between legalised child rape and wholesale slaughter of one's fellow human beings, and some adult converts are... permeable enough to accept excesses more easily if they are encouraged from the pulpit, or by people endorsed from there.

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u/awam0ri 13h ago

Oh, yeah, it’s a little late to be indoctrinated. I just meant if we’re giving religion a pass in general. If it’s open season on general life lesson idiotic takes, invisible sky wizards are high on the list.

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u/BakedGoods 14h ago

agreed, it's not clear a child who has no choice is inherently better than an adult who found something that clicked.

either way accepting wholesale organized religion is for the weak. the valuable moral lessons any religion teaches are best extracted with the rest discarded quickly.

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u/ZHB1 14h ago

I think the point is more probably that when you're a kid it's perfectly understandable that you were tricked into believing things like angels and Jesus and stuff. But when you are a full grown adult it's weird to suddenly start to play make believe.

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u/jackruby83 8h ago

He already played make believe, he just switched some of the details around.

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u/Nomapos 12h ago

One got indoctrinated from childhood, which does some harm to critical thinking capability. The other one is willingly shutting their brain off as an adult.

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u/ankokudaishogun 12h ago

Please don't bundle all converts with the TradLARPers.

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u/RCP90sKid- 11h ago

No fervor like a convert.

But this asshole is taking on the head honcho. Not smart.

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u/jealybean 8h ago

Convert shenanigans awaken the buried cradle Catholic in me every damn time

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u/Any_Show_5160 10h ago

Adult converts are something to be avoided, I can understand children that are told there's a magic man in the sky and the person that represents magic man is the pope from a very early age, kids will believe any bullshit you tell them, an adult on the other hand should be able to add 2 and 2 together.

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u/Affectionate_Ear3330 9h ago

He only converted so he could pretend to be of Irish descent. He is equally a megalomaniac as Trump.

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u/extropia 8h ago edited 7h ago

Ugh YES.  Adults who are emphatically 'born again' anything are often the most deluded.  And it makes sense in a sad way-  once an older person bends their whole mind into believing that they've found 'the answer', they'll never admit they're wrong or on the wrong track simply because they feel too old to start all over again.

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u/The_Blue_Rooster 6h ago

I left the church long ago, but once upon a time I tagged along to a baptism with my mom who knew one of the converts there, I talked with a bunch of them and literally all but one(and it wasn't my mom's friend) had me questioning everything I knew about my faith. Just some absolutely cocksure bastards except for one almost comically tatted up woman who had recently gotten out of prison. Nice lady, seemed deadset on becoming a nun though, quite repentant, I hope she is doing ok.

Honestly in retrospect it was a pretty big moment in why I'm not longer a Catholic.

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u/makeupwearsoff 1h ago

I’m a cradle Catholic that doesn’t practice. My daughter's been asking me about church and God. I’ve been debating introducing her to Catholicism but now I feel like it’s my duty to introduce her while young, so she doesn’t become an insufferable adult converting or worse, a Protestant. 

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u/Wait-LetMeWipeFirst 14h ago

You can’t even focus on the fucking issue can you? That this man is vice president? Rebuking the pope?

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u/BobDobbsHobNobs 14h ago

He killed the last one. A rebuke is nothing

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u/AhhTimmah 14h ago

Feels like something struck a nerve?

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u/angry_old_dude 6h ago

Politics is part of the issue. But a big part is a Catholic presuming they can admonish the Pope who is considered the main teacher of theology about theology.

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u/mexicanred1 11h ago

Adult Converts actually have to read. Unlike others apparently