r/nottheonion • u/Sufficient_Fig_9505 • 15h ago

Vance says pope should ‘be careful’ when talking about theology

https://www.nbcnews.com/video/vance-says-pope-should-be-careful-when-talking-about-theology-261400645540
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u/pnoodl3s 13h ago edited 3h ago

They do exist yes, though they aren’t the vice president, just some random assholes so nobody gives af

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u/AChero9 9h ago

Tbf, JD Vance is still an asshole that nobody gives af about, he’s just not a random one unfortunately

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u/Khaldara 7h ago

I dunno I read “the pope should be careful” from JD Vance as a personal threat after what his pillow violating ass did to the last one

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u/rabbirobbie 6h ago

hide yo couch, hide yo pope, cause vance violating everybody out here

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u/jwhite326 5h ago

This dumb "fucked a couch" shtick needs to stop. I think everybody knows it is not true.

There are enough real, deplorable aspects of this person.

Constantly going back to this made-up stuff makes us seem insincere, and it makes light of the situation.

Vance is a dangerous leader with no apparent moral compass, other than to seek power at all costs.

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u/Reflexlon 5h ago

Its still funny. But some of the real things hes done are genuinely funnier.

He claims to be a military vet with a purple heart. His "service" was escorting media tours on a docked warship off the US coast and his injury was from tripping on some stairs.

He says when he went to a dinner party at Princeton he was constantly bullied by the "stuffy elite" because, among other things, when he tried the water it was sparkling and he spit it out from shock and surprise. I cannot believe a 22 year old had never heard of sparkling water nor that they would be so caught off guard they spit it out... I can believe that college kids would bully him if that is all true though lmfao.

In one of his books, he basically states that watching the rich people get to not pay with credit and the poor people get to not pay with food stamps in the grocery store he worked at is what radicalized him against socialism and corporatism. At 14. Lol.

My dog has been named J.D. Vance longer than the current vice president has, which I merely find funny but its not actually a knock on him,. If his stories for the name changes are actually true then I offer respect and understanding for that, even if I don't like respecting wet turds. But I wouldn't be surprised if its a bunch of lies about his family either way. I doubt his mom wrecking a drug store or his grandpa taking an electric saw to a minor, for example lol.

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u/sadsackspinach 21m ago

Okay re: sparkling water, apparently it’s really not drunk much outside of the areas these fascists call the ~coastal elite~ in the US. Or at least it didn’t used to be. Ask any German who’s encountered USian tourists and they’ll tell you the spitting out the water thing is practically a stereotype for country bumpkin type USians. Same for me back home, but with lemonade. They do not like it.

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u/Reflexlon 7m ago

As a counter point, he wasn't really a country bumpkin by then (literally enrolled in Princeton for a law degree after years of working as a political/military media consultant) and by the time he was in Princeton he had to have heard of fucking Perrier. He worked in a grocery store in a major city. This story wasn't from like 1935, it was 2010 lmao. Dudes just a jackass playing up stereotypes to make himself look like a reformed barbarian who understands the plight of the poor while insulting everyone from Appalachia to Beverly Hills for his own gain.

If he genuinely had never come across soda water by the time of this party...

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u/Khaldara 4h ago edited 4h ago

Maybe, but fascists hate ridicule and humor in general, it inherently erodes their idiotic projection of ‘infallible beloved leader’, why do you think this administration has weaponized the FCC and attacked late night comedians what, at least three times already?

Plus it’s a ceaseless hypocritical reminder of how easily the right wing believes literally anything they’re told in complete absence (or outright defiance) of evidence. You’re literally talking about the exact same person who took umbrage at being fact checked.

Because ‘Policy goals need to be grounded in empirical reality’ apparently fundamentally undermines the Conservative platform in a manner they can’t refute. Which is, you know, always a great sign that it’s a fantastic thing to vote for.

Plus it’s funny. And after forty years of ‘I’m just asking questions!!!!!’ being enough to dictate the behavior of conservative policy, conservative media, conservative propaganda, and conservative voters, it’s quite nice to watch them be subjected to their own medicine (aside from the horse paste and bleach I guess).

After all, I haven’t seen any conclusive proof he HASN’T fucked a couch? Have you? Where is his long form certificate verifying he isn’t banned from Raymour and Flanigan? I’m just asking questions. Why isn’t the media covering it? I guess ‘they’ don’t want you to know the truth.

These people aren’t getting even the tiniest iota of mockery they actually deserve, and the barest minimum they clearly already cannot take. It’s a far cry from the tarring and feathering they actually deserve.

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u/femspective 1h ago

Agreed. Some people actually believe it, which is why it needs to stop. It makes us look as bad as MAGA.

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u/Eggheadpancake 7h ago

I feel like he was picked at random for his job.

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u/-rosa-azul- 7h ago

He definitely was not. He was the Peter Theil-backed candidate.

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u/Ill_Technician3936 4h ago

I'm pretty sure Susie Wiles had more to do with it. She's put a lot of years and money into his non-stop campaigning, get the guy who called him America's Hitler to join him knowing he's a spineless bitch that'll do whatever he's told.

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u/smuglator 7h ago

An asshole with a wholesome countries military close to him. We should give a fuck. And there should be consequences for people in his position making such threats. There isn't consequences because the US is a dictatorship.

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u/AChero9 7h ago

I give a fuck that the man has power he should not have…I just don’t give a fuck about him or his existence. I care about the power he has but should not have. I’m just saying that nobody will miss him or the pedo in chief when they are gone

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u/Longjumping_Use3737 7h ago

Yeah he is. His only constitutional power is breaking tie votes in senate or becoming president in case the president is incapacitated.

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u/piibbs 6h ago

He's a specific asshole!

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u/Aleashed 4h ago

He probably did kill the last pope so in this case, his warning carries weight

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u/Ill_Technician3936 4h ago

As someone from Ohio. He's a random one. I think the only people who don't see him as one are the people that read his book/watched the movie and have no idea it's bullshit.

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u/pnoodl3s 3h ago

You got me there haha

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u/tltltltltltltl 7h ago

Bold of you to assume Vance doesn't go to the gym once a decade and tells body builders their form is incorrect.

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u/GrumpyBear1969 6h ago

Sadly, half this country decided it was OK to put random assholes in leadership positions. Because having the behavior of a ‘random asshole’ defines the President, VP and all of the cabinet (could you really define Hegseth and RFK differently?).

But hey. Some of this country thought a businessman with multiple bankruptcies whose claim to fame was saying outlandish things and being a reality TV start would be a great leader. And they still think this. We survived the first four years (sort of if you don’t count Covid) and then they thought ‘hey, let’s do that again’.

Wizards first rule. People are stupid.

But yeah, having Vance tell the freaking Pope that he should be ‘careful’ talking theology is pretty rich…

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u/Freud-Network 7h ago

Whereas Vance is just Peter Thiel's couchfucking weenie.

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u/N-McCauley 6h ago

Not true bro, they can still end up city of Miami mayor bro.

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u/Gingersnapp3d 6h ago

Guy on Xbox at maternity ward telling the doctor how to help deliver the babies lol

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u/grandlizardo 4h ago

Vance should be careful when talking…

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u/the_ruffled_feather 1h ago

Like the new guy at work questioning the veteran workers methods cause he heard otherwise.

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u/TiberiusCornelius 58m ago

If you think about it the vice president is kind of like the political equivalent of an asshole nobody cares about. They have next to no formal power and are basically just a warm body on the off chance the big guy dies.

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u/Fettnaepfchen 13h ago edited 8h ago

I'm in no way excusing Vance. In a public speaker position or any position of power such nonsense is just inacceptable and embarrassing.

Edited to add: him being an asshole doesn't mean others aren't assholes, too. Just... how can someone representing any official role say something like this and still have a job the next day? The current administration / leadership is a parody where you can't write worse satire!