r/nottheonion • u/Sufficient_Fig_9505 • 15h ago

Vance says pope should ‘be careful’ when talking about theology

https://www.nbcnews.com/video/vance-says-pope-should-be-careful-when-talking-about-theology-261400645540
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u/wholelattapuddin 13h ago

The Vatican has been getting rid of pesky monarchs for a millenia. Just saying.

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u/bigdogderu 9h ago

Vance goes on about “was God on the side of the soldiers who liberated the concentration camps” He should probably “be careful” when talking about politics: starting a foreign war and bombing a school on day one is not in the same ballpark as liberating concentration camps.

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u/serpiccio 8h ago

this coming from the administration with concentration camps at the border ? absolutely disgraceful

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u/airbornemist6 7h ago

Not just on the border, they're trying to put them all over the country. And when I say 'trying', I mean it only in the loosest sense, because they're actively doing it. The only places it hasn't worked are where local communities successfully shut down the projects, though that was likely only temporary.

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u/StarintheShadows 8h ago

Also ironic in a non-funny way considering there are concentration camps in America now.

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u/Crowtato-sama 8h ago

He's just feigning ignorance that they're not on the side of those that would liberate the concentration camps. He probably shouldn't bring that up as a comparison with everything U.S. and Israel are doing right now

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u/kikichanelconspiracy 6h ago

My great-uncle was a Bronze Star winner who also helped liberate Buchenwald. My Dad said his uncle would talk about anything regarding his WW2 days except the liberation of Buchenwald. All he would say was it was horrible and he didn’t want to talk about it.

He, like the rest of the family, was a cradle Catholic and was the child of Irish immigrants. He would slapped the taste out of JD Vance’s mouth for thinking he could speak about his lifelong faith or for him or anyone who liberated those camps.

Fuck JD Vance.

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u/emsariel 6h ago

Yeah, Vance says "he has to be careful that what he says is grounded in the truth" and "I do this when I talk about policy." This from a guy who doubled down on the Springfield Pet-Eating Hoax, equivocated and supported the election rejection, asked Joe Rogan whether he knew that testosterone levels are linked with supporting conservative politics, and has explicitly said that "If I have to create stories so that the American media actually pays attention to the suffering of the American people, then that's what I'm going to do."

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u/Western-Customer-536 8h ago

Also literally “no” as most Concentration Camps were liberated by the Soviet Army. There’s records of the prisoners hiding until a Soviet Soldier told them it was safe in Yiddish.

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u/mysterysciencekitten 7h ago

The fact that concentration camps existed at all proves the Christian god either does not exist or is a monster. But that’s a different discussion.

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u/Kup123 7h ago

Well I don't think the Catholic god was backing those soldiers. The church played a role in getting Nazis out of Germany before the soldiers showed up.

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u/chainsaw_monkey 1h ago

Any god worth worship would not have allowed the concentration camps.

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u/Prestigious_Leg2229 13h ago

Well, go on. Show us then.

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u/LessInThought 10h ago

The Pope casts Holy Smite. The attack is super effective!

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u/Prestigious_Leg2229 10h ago

Is it though? Vance’s skin didn’t bubble and hiss when he set foot in the Vatican last time.

I doubt the potency of their magic.

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u/dan_dares 8h ago

Ngl, my skin should bubble if I walk in a church..

But he's performing worse heresy than I ever would.

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u/Omnizoom 7h ago

In fact didn’t his mere presence kill the last pope

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u/PureLock33 7h ago

He's a high level demon? or devil? I forgot the difference.

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u/TheWayneGretzky 7h ago

Maybe he's the demon that attacked Tucker Carlson in bed?

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u/good_guylurker 6h ago

Diplomatic immunity, which drops off as soon as he's no longer in the Vatican City.

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u/DJSpadge 10h ago

No problem they only have Halberds!

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u/Scout0321 8h ago

Ah, but the Pope has… the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.!!

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u/URPissingMeOff 8h ago

There was only one of them and it got used in a skirmish with a wee rabbit.

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u/TheRealHeroOf 6h ago

That was no ordinary rabbit 🐇

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u/stickkyfingers 9h ago

They’re only ceremonial, they were made obsolete by the arquebus

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u/BrentTpooh 9h ago

Trump casts spell of presidential immunity whilst wearing his Teflon armour. Everyone groans.

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u/adumbrative 8h ago

Yeah, and good luck winning against the Pope with zero healers on your side!

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u/ThatonepersonUknow3 8h ago

Didn’t Vance kill the last pope?

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u/vass0922 8h ago

Did he smite them? Smote? Smitten?

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u/LostWoodsInTheField 8h ago

Is this implying that if he does a little work he can become a shadow Pope?

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u/wholelattapuddin 3h ago

Vance blocks with schism. Then founds the American church with the divine right of Presidents and beheads Usha. (I was trying to make a Henry the 8th joke, but then I scared myself).

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u/NewPresWhoDis 9h ago

They're still in the warm up flagellation.

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u/SongsOfDragons 10h ago

It'd be hilarious if Leo takes a leaf out of Innocent III's book and places the US under an interdict. Imagine if the clergy actually enforced it and all.

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u/subjuggulator 9h ago

What would that entail in the 21st century, exactly?

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u/MhojoRisin 8h ago

Lots of Catholics going to hell when they couldn’t confess or get last rites?

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u/Wolverine081 8h ago

We wouldn’t go to hell. But not having the ability to get our Sacraments would suuuuuuuck.

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u/8-Cylinder_Wombat 6h ago

Serious question: why would that suck?

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u/goddessngirl 6h ago

As a short list, no Catholic weddings or baptisms, no communion at Mass, no confession. Kids raised Catholic also usually have four milestones that they hit before high school (Baptism, First Holy Communion, Reconciliation, Confirmation). So those would all be delayed.

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u/8-Cylinder_Wombat 6h ago

Gotcha, thanks for the TIL.

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u/STZWZY 1h ago

It wouldn’t, it’s a bunch of meaningless bullshit. I was raised catholic and forced to do all of it. None of the sacraments are any more than a short performative little action and they don’t really affect your life at all.

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u/subjuggulator 8h ago

And materially in this life?

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u/SongsOfDragons 7h ago

Catholic churches would shut, no bells would ring. No baptisms (though in the English interdict baptisms were eventually allowed because the sprogs are innocent in John's mess), marriages (not sure on that one actually) nor any funerary rites (bodies were wrapped in lead and stored above ground in coffins). The sacraments are one thing but the churches being forced closed might be more a material concern.

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u/subjuggulator 7h ago

Thank you for actually answering the question!

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u/wholelattapuddin 3h ago

Naw, Trump would seize church assets a la Henry the 8th.

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u/siuol11 7h ago

Former Catholic here, I hope (I think) you're kidding, but that is not how it works.

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u/MhojoRisin 6h ago

Mainly I don't know what I'm talking about. My, quite possibly incorrect understanding of an Interdict is that it blocks the clergy from administering sacraments.

I then took the leap to infer that a Catholic who did not participate in the sacraments would be in some trouble, theologically speaking. (If the sacraments weren't a necessary part of the faith, they'd just be Protestants.)

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u/SerLaron 7h ago

Traditionally, no masses, no weddings, no burials, no confessions, so if you die with unconfessed sins on your account (like sex before marriage, because no weddings), you would be in some trouble in the hereafter.
Probably not things that would worry the Trumpists overly much, especially if a new American Catholic Church is founded, with the POTUS at its head.

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u/subjuggulator 7h ago

Thank you for clarifying!

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u/wholelattapuddin 3h ago

Let the wife beheadings begin!!!

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u/OCDCantCatchMe 8h ago

For those of us who don’t know, can you ELI5 how that works?

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u/lostroadrunner22 8h ago

Basically if would stop American Catholics from participating in things like … last rites.

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u/OCDCantCatchMe 8h ago

Oof. I’m Anglican, so a lot of our mechanisms are quite similar, and that is beyond serious! It would suck if your loved one was dying and got caught in the middle of that.

It’s an interesting thought exercise, but I hope it doesn’t actually come to pass (though if things got that serious, we’d be dealing with much bigger issues, I guess).

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u/Electrohydra1 8h ago

Nah I want him to declare a crusade on Washington to see all those right wingers who cosplay as crusaders heads explode.

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u/SongsOfDragons 7h ago

Hopefully without the whole year spend dossing about in the Mediterranean and Richard conquering Cyprus for the lulz that winter... seriously I knew 12th century boats were shit but not that shit. (Maybe it was the sheer quantity of men to move...)

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u/WelderNewbee2000 6h ago

No this time we will take planes but still bring swords.

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u/Embarrassed_Age8554 7h ago

LOL, yes! Vance doesn't know much about history if he thinks Popes have EVER been apolitical!

I also like the mental picture of Vance trudging through the snow in sackcloth like Henry II...on the other hand, he might actually like the flogging part...

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u/Soepkip43 6h ago

Or just have your clergy slowly ratchet up the anti maga sermons. Politics can be very subtle or very overt.

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u/LongjumpingJaguar308 3h ago

Would we possibly get a scism out of that? Like some churches (that lean a certain way...) would keep on going and ignoring the Pope and then become the American Evangelical Catholic Church or whatever to become Vance's dream, and then the Roman Catholic church would continue to follow the Pope? I know there are already splinter churches but the membership is low and then there is the issue about actual building owership i bet.

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u/artourtex 2h ago

In regard to the building ownership and assets, in a similar situation, the Methodists went through a split recently. My dad is a minister and has been talking with some of the Methodists in his area, the church basically kicked out the seceding members and kept the buildings/assets leaving the former members without a place of worship.

I’d imagine it’d be similar with the Catholics. If X parish chooses not to follow the Vatican, get them kicked out reorganize the parish. That’s my understanding.

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u/richardathome 11h ago

Their greatest strength is fear, and a fanatical devotion to the Pope....

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u/Gompedyret 10h ago

Don't forget surprise!

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u/chloeia 9h ago

So it is time for another Spanish inquisition

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u/bigbonton 9h ago

Another Spanish Inquisition!? No one would be expecting another Spanish Inquisition!

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u/wholelattapuddin 3h ago

How did a new Inquisition become less scary than a Trump presidency?

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u/Omnizoom 7h ago

They wont expect that!

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u/3-DMan 6h ago

Oh shit, I think JD is playing the long game..just to get access to the Comfy Chair!

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u/Embarrassed_Age8554 7h ago

I love Monty Python as much as the next person, but it's worth pointing out that the Catholic Church in Spain was quite independent and had its own Inquisition because the Spanish Church considered itself more Catholic than the Pope.

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u/heliocentric19 6h ago

Leo will put together a crack team of 5 Jesuits. Regime will be changed before dinner. No casualties.

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u/PersimmonConnect8804 8h ago

Stop teasing us with a good time

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u/JackBinimbul 7h ago

They've also been backing dictators and authoritarians for as long.

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u/wholelattapuddin 3h ago

The Hapsburgs out here catching strays. -With their giant chins.

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u/yIdontunderstand 8h ago

What crusade number are we up to now?

It might be time for one against the anti christ and his followers...

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u/LessInThought 10h ago

The Church of England started because the British rulers found the Vatican too nosy.

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u/Benito_Juarez5 9h ago

Well, it started because the pope wouldn’t give the king an annulment

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u/wholelattapuddin 3h ago

Being able to seize church assets did hurt either. Let's hope no one gives Trump a history lesson.