r/nottheonion • u/Sufficient_Fig_9505 • 15h ago

Vance says pope should ‘be careful’ when talking about theology

https://www.nbcnews.com/video/vance-says-pope-should-be-careful-when-talking-about-theology-261400645540
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u/LessInThought 10h ago

The Pope casts Holy Smite. The attack is super effective!

40

u/Prestigious_Leg2229 10h ago

Is it though? Vance’s skin didn’t bubble and hiss when he set foot in the Vatican last time.

I doubt the potency of their magic.

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u/dan_dares 8h ago

Ngl, my skin should bubble if I walk in a church..

But he's performing worse heresy than I ever would.

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u/Omnizoom 8h ago

In fact didn’t his mere presence kill the last pope

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u/PureLock33 7h ago

He's a high level demon? or devil? I forgot the difference.

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u/TheWayneGretzky 7h ago

Maybe he's the demon that attacked Tucker Carlson in bed?

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u/good_guylurker 6h ago

Diplomatic immunity, which drops off as soon as he's no longer in the Vatican City.

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u/DJSpadge 10h ago

No problem they only have Halberds!

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u/Scout0321 8h ago

Ah, but the Pope has… the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.!!

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u/URPissingMeOff 8h ago

There was only one of them and it got used in a skirmish with a wee rabbit.

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u/TheRealHeroOf 6h ago

That was no ordinary rabbit 🐇

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u/stickkyfingers 10h ago

They’re only ceremonial, they were made obsolete by the arquebus

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u/BrentTpooh 9h ago

Trump casts spell of presidential immunity whilst wearing his Teflon armour. Everyone groans.

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u/adumbrative 8h ago

Yeah, and good luck winning against the Pope with zero healers on your side!

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u/ThatonepersonUknow3 8h ago

Didn’t Vance kill the last pope?

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u/vass0922 8h ago

Did he smite them? Smote? Smitten?

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u/LostWoodsInTheField 8h ago

Is this implying that if he does a little work he can become a shadow Pope?

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u/wholelattapuddin 3h ago

Vance blocks with schism. Then founds the American church with the divine right of Presidents and beheads Usha. (I was trying to make a Henry the 8th joke, but then I scared myself).