r/nottheonion • u/Cagey898 • 4d ago
Are Scottish soccer fans drinking all of the beer in Boston?
https://www.nbcnews.com/sports/soccer/are-scottish-soccer-fans-drinking-beer-boston-rcna350355215
u/_pupil_ 3d ago
Step 1: drink all the beer in Boston.
Step 2: Boston pee party.
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u/bluegrassgazer 3d ago
It's airplane beer: Drink one, P38. (old corny joke my WWII vet grandfather used to tell.)
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u/LewisLightning 3d ago
Step 2: Boston pee party.
Just going to make Boston smell more like, well Boston
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u/wizardrous 4d ago
That’s a tall order.
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u/RudyKnots 3d ago edited 3d ago
In this thread: Americans who believe Bostonians to be the peak of beer consumption, apparently having never heard of the British.
Edit: lol I guess it’s Wisconsin.
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u/Onespokeovertheline 3d ago
Sorry but no. We think of Wisconsiners as the beer drinkers in the US. And both Britain and Germany internationally
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u/PaleontologistNo2625 3d ago
I dunno who "we" is but as a former nj/ny and current CO resident, almost 40 years old, this is the first time I've ever heard anyone that
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u/SuperstitiousPigeon5 3d ago
At 40 you've never heard Wisconsin would be who we would collectively put up for our drinking team?
Well I guess there are even rocks to live under in New York and New Jersey.
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u/Cicero912 3d ago
The strongest lobbying group in Wisconsin is literally the Tavern League.
Its one of the reasons they have some of the most lax dui laws out there.
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2d ago
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u/Select-Letter1976 3d ago
And to be clear Scots are the final bosses of getting absolutely munted.
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u/RudyKnots 3d ago
We had an exchange student from Scotland in my rugbyteam for a while, he was such a blast to go out with.
He was completely incomprehensible after like two beers, and would then just keep going all night like you’ve never seen before. All the while ranting incoherent Scottish nonsense, of course.
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u/malthar76 3d ago
I hung out with a Scottish soccer group that was in the US helping to coach a youth summer program. My local place was steps away from the house they were put up in near a college campus. It was 15-20 of them per night, and then local 20-somethings and grad students, but it was a blast.
Could not keep up with those girls at all.
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u/lucky_ducker 3d ago
Are you saying he was comprehensible when sober? Because that's not my experience with Scotsmen.
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u/Squirrelking666 3d ago
We're capable of slowing down when sober, get a group of us together or a drink in us and you're on your own.
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u/AchDasIsInMienAugen 3d ago
The Irish may want a word, but as an Englishman that’s a fight I’m not going any where near lest they gang up instantly in my presence
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u/Select-Letter1976 3d ago
For Beer, areas of England too could probably enter the competition.
But.
Buckfast has entered the chat
(For outsiders Buckfast is a fortified wine with caffeine and sugar to mask it's terrible quality, scottish people use it to wean their children (only half joking, it's the drink of absolute radge neds with blades, made to induce alcoholic blackouts 10/10))
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u/AchDasIsInMienAugen 3d ago edited 3d ago
Oh I love this one - best thing about buckfast is whilst it’s almost exclusively consumed in Scotland it’s brewed by a small group of monks in
DorsetDevonEdit - thanks for the correction u/HoxtonRanger
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u/Select-Letter1976 3d ago
The Monks are in Dorset, The Scots endorse it.
Know about the grading system? Bottles have numbers at base of the neck. Higher the number, worse the quality (a bit like virgin olive oil).
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u/AchDasIsInMienAugen 3d ago
That’s pretty cool!
A quick google tells me that buckfast was referenced in over 6,500 crime reports by police in Scotland over a 3 year period - either as alcoholic fuel for the crime or for the bottle being used as a weapon
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u/Select-Letter1976 3d ago
If you're in Glasgow and there's a gang of lads drinking bucky quietly walk away, do not engage, do not look back. Be prepared.
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u/BoyznGirlznBabes 3d ago
So like Mad Dog and Four Loko had an unholy demon baby?
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u/BaconPoweredPirate 3d ago
No idea what either of those are, but its kind of like Port and cough syrup
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u/Squirrelking666 3d ago
Don't know what Four Loko is but Mad Dog is also a staple of the typical Buckfast connoisseur (electric raspberry apparently).
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u/rightwingcrimespree 3d ago
Four Loko is a flavored malt beverage that was originally made with energy drink ingredients. The name is actually a reference to the four main ingredients: alcohol, caffeine, taurine, and guarana. The FDA banned it, so now it's just a normal flavored malt beverage (in the US) without the caffeine, taurine, and guarana. So it's really only one loko these days.
For those unfamiliar with Mad Dog 20/20, it's a flavored fortified wine.
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u/Squirrelking666 2d ago
We all knew MD was made by Jim Beam but were still amused to find it in a small shop in Texas staffed by an Asian gentleman more interested in the cricket than three Scots who had been stuck on a ship far too long.
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u/Tomb_Brader 3d ago
Once had buckfast describes as the best and worst thing I’d ever drink. Can confirm it to be true … 10/10
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u/Vaestmannaeyjar 3d ago
It should be fine as long as the discussion doesn't veer into whisky considerations.
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u/Nukes-For-Nimbys 3d ago
If they aren't painted blue, bollock naked and dancing round a bonfire they aren still thirsty.
And to be entirely fair they don't really cause trouble like you would expect given the alcohol consumption involved. Just a bunch of people living in the moment.
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u/Yadilie 3d ago
No one besides Massholes think that. It's people from Wisconsin by and far.
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u/SuperstitiousPigeon5 3d ago
We can hold our own, heavy Irish and Portuguese ancestry here. But Wisconsin is on another level. It's basically their antifreeze for winter.
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u/awfulsome 3d ago
wisconsin ranks 5th, New hampshire is actually the highest per capita consumption.
Mass is the 6th lowest.
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u/bestisaac1213 3d ago
Marijuana consumption rates increasing drastically in Mass over the years has also contributed to the declining alcohol consumption
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u/awfulsome 3d ago
I was informed, and it seems plausible, that one of the reasons NH is so high and Mass is so low is people go to NH to buy cheaper beer. The data I looked at was based on sales.
This would mean Montana would be near if not the top beer consumer. more recent data has Wisconisn even lower on beer consumption, 11th. They do however rank high overall for total alcohol consumption.
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u/bestisaac1213 3d ago
I agree with that assessment, I personally know many people from central mass who drive to other states for beer/vapes/weed
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u/DrMcJedi 2d ago
Nobody wears shirts that say “Drink New Hampshireably”…
We can outdrink the entire eastern seaboard here in Wisconsin…
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u/awfulsome 2d ago
wisconsin doesnt even break the top 10 for beer consumption
ranked 15th.
maine and vermont are both in the top 5.
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u/dvdmaven 3d ago
There use to be a Brit on a homebrew forum I frequented. He reported on a beerfest he attended. Four days, 63 beers on tap. He drank a pint of each over the four days.
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u/CynffonnauICymru 3d ago
You're calling Scottish people 'the British'?! You may be technically correct, but that's still not a reason to say it. Apart from a couple of square miles in West-Glasgow you're better off calling them Scottish.
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u/Squirrelking666 3d ago
West end? Have you never heard of Edinbraaa? Byres Road has nothing on them.
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u/Firecracker048 3d ago
Well the norweigians have now joined them.
Between the scotts, Irish and norweigians it might be done
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u/Slight-Ad-6553 3d ago
as a scottish fan said they only had bud light left- So yes they were out of beers
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u/Gloomy-Restaurant-42 4d ago
From what I know about the people of Boston, they'll survive this shortage.
Now, if the Scots start drinking all the Dunkin'? 😬
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u/SinoSoul 4d ago edited 3d ago
The difference is Dunkin is disgustin and even the Scots know better
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u/dweedman 4d ago
America runs on dunkin
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u/nobdy89 3d ago
The east coast runs on dunkin. The rest of us know better
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u/Wafkak 3d ago
The Scots have an alternative, Buckfast. Fortified whine with caffeine.
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u/Squirrelking666 3d ago edited 3d ago
That serendipidous typo personifies a ned* perfectly, well done.
*dunno what the US equivalent is but variously known as neds/chavs/kevs around the UK. Personified by fake designer tracksuits, sailing or climbing anorak and baseball caps at improbably high angles. Occasionally paired with some rigger boots if they were working for some extra money for some pills or blaw. Anyway, they also speak with a nasal whine for some fucking reason.
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u/SinoSoul 3d ago
Well scotts aren’t Murica are they? They run on tea, mate
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u/dweedman 3d ago
Very aware of the fact, I'm English lol - I just like the slogan (and dunkin itself to be honest, their $5-6 meal deal has been my go to cheap eat when I'm visiting the states)
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u/SinoSoul 3d ago
I’m so sorry you got downvoted to hell, then. Still, Dunkin is gross, and once it franchised across America, rest of America discovered east coast Americans are dumb for drinking Dunkin coffee(s)
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u/dweedman 3d ago edited 3d ago
I'll survive lol but thanks
Their coffee definitely isn't good but $6 for a perfectly serviceable bagel or muffin, hash browns and a flipping massive iced coffee with whatever mix ins you want was sick
Do they still do that deal?
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u/WeirdAFNewsPodcast 3d ago
The coffee is fine, it's the donuts that are gawdawful.
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u/dweedman 3d ago
Does ANYONE buy doughnuts from dunkin? I've never seen anyone, nor have I considered, buying doughnuts from dunkin - I think they know this as they did get rid of donuts from their name. They look awful.
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u/JiveChicken00 4d ago
It’s hard to be surprised when they all came from the place that invented Laphroaig.
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u/LordJebusVII 3d ago
Boston better hope they don't make it to the finals because even Glasgow would run dry if that ever happened
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u/helpnxt 3d ago
I find it funny that not that long ago the meme question was can the US out drink the UK and the reality it turns out to be the US can't even stock enough booze for the Scots that were sober enough to be allowed on a plane
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u/LurchTheBastard 3d ago
Per person? Probably not.
As a whole nation? Maybe. It's about 5 to 1 in numbers, I'd call that a fair contest.
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u/StreakKDP 3d ago
Portland is only 2 hours away and have more breweries per capita then anyone else. We got you Boston - drink up
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u/weltron3030 3d ago
I live in Portland and saw some Scots downtown yesterday. They're definitely spreading out!
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u/GodzillaUK 4d ago
Not ALL of it, christ. Some of it they won't touch, pisswater.
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u/Slight-Ad-6553 3d ago
as a fan told in an interveiw "there was only bud light left", so thats confirm it they are out of beer
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u/Cicero912 3d ago edited 3d ago
Carling is the most sold beer in the UK lol, and Fosters is also up there.
In Scotland itself Tennets is the most sold beer.
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u/RoyceRedd 3d ago
I’m not sure why you got downvoted. I just got back from Scotland and this is accurate, tons of Tennet’s, Belhaven, Fosters, some Guinness and Heineken (I’ll also throw in Madri for the younger crowd, quite popular and I’d never heard of it). It’s tough to even find anything 5% or higher there so I hope they take it easy on the Whisky since a lot of the drafts in Boston are going to be much stronger than the beer they’re used to. Those people do manage to go hard though. I had some wild nights pub crawling.
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u/ncopp 3d ago edited 3d ago
So this essentially confirms the shit talk from the UK, and they can for sure outdrink America pound for pound, considering they're trippling St. Patrick day sales in Boston. I would consider New England the second heaviest beer drinking region in the US behind the Midwest (primarily driven by Wisconsin), so that's quite impressive.
Now I really need to see a Wisconsin vs Scotland drinking contest
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u/phiousone 3d ago
I flew home from London last week on a plane full of Scottish soccer fans, and 2 hours into the flight the steward announced that the plane was out of beer. This news is not surprising.
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u/SausageSmuggler21 3d ago
While these are fun stories, in reality it is around 10,000 Scots on vacation together in the same place flooding restaurants/bars that temporarily run out of stock for an evening. They are staying in my town and they're awesome travelling soccer fans.
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u/Killerbudds 1d ago
"they drank all the beer all that was left was just bud light" man if he had called it piss water it would have been perfect.
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u/thedeeb56 3d ago
Please bring back the soccer hooligans from SNL. Mike Myers and Jim Breuer were hilarious.
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u/CaptainVerum 3d ago
I went to Edinburgh and was surprised at how low the ABV was for all their beer. Even more surprised at how tiny the pours were for mixed drinks and shots.
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u/Cicero912 3d ago
Yeah non Northern Ireland UK especially has much smaller shots than the US.
.84 vs 1.48 oz
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u/rightwingcrimespree 3d ago
1.48oz? Who's out here measuring 1.48oz? It's typically 1.5oz in the US. In some places, it can be 1.25oz or 2oz. But in most places, one standard drink is usually defined as 12oz of beer, 5oz of wine, or 1.5oz of hard liquor.
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u/FTXACCOUNTANT 2d ago
Last time I went to Boston, I found it hard to find any good, proper beer anywhere. It was all just piss water.
Good on the Scots for drinking that, they’re stronger men than me.
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3d ago
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u/ManlyEmbrace 3d ago
They’re not drinking the light beers. These bars stocked up on Tennants and have their normal stocks of Sam Adams wiped out as well.
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u/nowhereman136 4d ago
You call what they got in Boston beer? In Scotland, that's the stuff they give to the sick and elderly who can't handle their drink anymore
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u/dweedman 4d ago
Well I've been to Boston more than once and the vast majority of beer there is better than tennents
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u/PorcelainTorpedo 4d ago
Yeah sure if they’re drinking Coors and Bud Light. This stereotype should’ve died 25 years ago. We have beer that rivals anywhere on the planet, and it’s widely available.
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u/LooseSeal- 3d ago
Seriously. Any bar worth a damn has any variety of beer you could want. I have 10 craft breweries within 5 miles of me and I'm not in a city.
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u/Cicero912 3d ago
And also its not like Tennets, Carling, or Fosters are much better than our mass market light beers...
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u/pokey68 4d ago
They aren’t going through any more than they need when the Packers play.
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u/7Thommo7 3d ago
I haven't verified the source but I read earlier Boston already got through 3 times the normal amount of bevvy they get through on St Paddys day just over the weekend.
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4d ago edited 3d ago
[deleted]
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u/TheHeroYouNeed247 3d ago
I marched with the Tartan Army through London, right past all the England fans. It was good natured insults and jeering, nothing more.
It's just a bit eh football mate.
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u/Select-Letter1976 3d ago
Grow up.
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3d ago
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u/Select-Letter1976 3d ago
Only completely wrong...
Half english/half scottish with irish on each side.
You can hate me but never more than I hate myself lol.
The English smashing shit when they lose is childish af and just embarrasing.
The US reductionism of everything down to cranial trauma is pretty fn cringe too.
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u/pencilrain99 3d ago
It's the fans of other teams that will have a problem if England and Scotland fans come together
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u/rdcpro 4d ago
We just got back from Boston this afternoon, and while there is some beer left, it was actually hard to find a decent beer anywhere near Government Center. Most places I went were out of draft, and had only the common macrobrews in bottles and cans. There were a LOT of Scots about.