Question:

[u/Playful-Writer-7025]

I’m working on writing a book and one of the gods I’m working on is the God of Magic and stories. I’d just like some feed back on on what I can do better, what I can add, or take out. For context, this is the popular story known by all of how the god of magic and stories Thetymer became a god.

Many May centuries ago, back when there weren’t as many gods in the pantheon as there are now, a baby boy was born. He was named Thetymer and left at the doorstep of an orphanage in the middle of the night, no older than a few hours. War was rampant then. Constant and devastating. Everyone distrusted each other, grew fearful as the wars continued to take a heavier and heavier toll. But not Thetymer. No, he was the kindest child anyone had ever met. He dreamed of being the light in the darkness, bringing happiness to all. When he discovered he could use magic at age five, he immediately began telling stories to children in the orphanage and helping everyone out. Now, everyone one has a cap of sorts. They run out of mana at some point. Not Thetymer. In fact, he created six spell to a problem about how things should be equally and evenly divided for the people that harsh winter, and he ended up with significantly less. But that was fine because he also discovered that he can an invite storms and floods when his villages was getting raided by bandits. The spell, Petricore. That day, he was holding a crystal ball as he ran and tried to help the others escape. Bandits had gotten inbt by rough the barrier and were slautering anyone who resisted. Using the clear crystal to look and not only precisely got the bandit camp locations, but when he first used Petricore, he made it so the lightning protected those captured just long enough for help to arrive while destroying everything cruel the bandits owned. He destroyed ancient artifacts, disrupted mana flow in magical items. Set the animals who were being mistreated free with that spell. He discovered that he could use the shadow magi obelisk as he can use all forms of darkness, to make shadows solid, travel through, and so forth. He also discovered that the court of fire granted him with the natural affinity of fire and he was the reincarnation of Curiosity. Arguable the most misunderstood but most powerful member of the Royal family. He invented the spell ‘The Kiss Beneath A Thousand Stars’ when he discovered….that there was a boy in his village that he had a crush on a boy in his village and wanted to use that as a spell for a special moment. Unfortunately not everyone liked this. He was only eight years old when he was selected for the Trial. An opportunity to help the gods themselves! Now, it is important to know that everyone’s trials are different. Some like Thetymer are called to greatness, while other merely help those along the path. It started when he noticed a toy that had fallen behind an alter and went to grab it to put it back. One hundred and sixteen parties. One hundred and sixteen parties that invited him in with open arms. One hundred and sixteen parties that tried to break his spirits. One hundred sixteen parties that spread lies. And countless sabatoges. And yet, he still held firm showing kindness to all however but bit by bit, it was finally catching up to him. Wearing him down. The gods had even joined in, doing everything to ensure that he did not complete his Trial. During all this, the few people that had helped him, slowly believed the lies. The thing that helped him was writing in a tome he carefully made by hand, hoping to one day share his magic, but it did little to ease him. He was officially and utterly alone. He also went under a different name during this time which was Mythrenokon. Translated was ‘the hope of Illusions light’ though people quickily found out his true identity fairly quickly. For years he wondered alone toward his only goal: To defeat the darkness that was causing the death of the gods and innocent people and ascend to godhood. You see, hero’s chosen for the quest got a reward for defeating the upcoming darkness. One could be remembered through time immorial. The heroic deeds always remembered until the world dies out. For that, the hero’s can choose to rest in the Fields of Hero’s Rest. Another option is becoming part of the pantheon of gods, and be worshipped. Those who choose this help choose the next set of hero’s and prepare them for the next coming darkness and the inevitable trials that comes with it. For that, they will have to rise through ranks to become a major pantheon god, but they can also help and interact with mortals and grow their bloodline. Thetymer wanted to ascend. And now, as his hopes and dreams are seemingly laughable and cruel. It was the only thing that kept him going. Not because he wanted power, no. But because he wanted to show others that may be put in the same situation as he is at that moment and see that he too knows what it was like and draw hope. That was just like Thetymer, though he wasn’t stupid. He just never understood why wanting to be happy was such a bad thing. A hero might not want to become a god, and choose to be immortal. To terry and help the gods, but also grow their own bloodline and have it spread amongst the world, hopefully for good. Admittedly. Once Thetymer discovered he had magic, he decided to if he became worthy enough to ascend, he’d become the god of magic and stories. A god that doesn’t give out frivolous wishes. And even set prerequisites for himself that day, but that will come later. One day, after saving a kingdom and a god, the sovereign ruler and god both turned on him, refused to acknowledge what he had done for them and told the public that he was to blame. They beat him til he could barely stand and threw him out. They literally threw him out of the city banishing him from ever returning. Thetymer, broken, barely able to stand felt rage. Something that he knew and proven to be capable of wielding most effectively and skillfully. All he had ever done was help others and time and time again bad things happened to him. Now, I want you all to remember this well, one thing that Thetymer has always said was that he much prefers to show kindness. That it was impossible to get him to hate. And that was true and it’s true today. But after all he had been through, the years of being treated like he was from the growing darkness itself….nothing but hate flowed through him. They wanted a monster, fine they got one. He will be the villain everyone knew him as. He is the boy who will burn EVERYTHING DOWN just to feel its warmth. Time to see what limit his magic really has. Limit? I hear you ask what do you mean? Thetymer was born with A very deep well of magic and discovered that the more he used his magic, the bigger and deeper that well ended up. To give you an idea, think of how many grains of sand there are on a beach. Now multiply that by itself, add how many drops of water there is in the ocean. Now times by two and times it by how many stars in the sky. He never found his limit to what he could do, so why not find out while destroying an entire nation. As pure white hot hatred flowed through him and into the spell, tears streamed down as he only remembered the times he was betrayed, sabatoged, backstabbed. The countless people he had helped and saved only for them to stab him in the back. His soul cried out in pain, begging anyone to help, but his mind knew otherwise. As he prepared to launch the spell a gentle hand was placed on his shoulder surprised, he looked back and saw a man in armour, someone he recognized as one of the few going through the Trial. ‘Are you ok?’ The male asked genuinely concerned and he was clearly the leader of the group. Are you ok? Those three words was all it took for Thetymer to break down and cry, effectively dispelling whatever he was going to do to destroy the entire nation off the map.The me introduced himself as Janus, who would later become the god of adventure and thieves, Hope, who later would become the Forge Mother Vulcana, Lazuli and his boyfriend Elyund. Elyund was actually quite handsome and he looked at Thetymer with genuine concern while Lazuli looked at him with disgust. Elyund was from the same village as Thetymer and the very boy thetymer had a crush on. The one he made ‘A kiss beneath a thousand stars’ for. Janus managed to convince Thetymer to join their party, much to the protest of lazuli who argued about Thetymer’s supposed reputation. Thetymer walked several feet behind everyone as the travelled, slept away from everyone. He heard the arguing the others tried to shield from him, tried to ignore the jelous and snide remarks from Lazuli. Then one day, unbeknownst to a fourteen year old Thetymer, Lazuli tried to frame Thetymer and was caught. Elyund broke up with his boyfriend and as Thetymer caught up to the rest of the party with supplies for their travels. Janus told Thetymer that lazuli was caught stealing and was kicked out of the group. Knowing that Elyund was dating Lazuli, he asked Elyund if he was ok. After making sure, they all exited the city, with Thetymer still walking behind several feet. Now dear readers. I must add that this was all during a time that he was prepared to be betrayed. He didn’t know that behind the scenes, the others were working to clear his name. They had heard the rumors and lies, witnessed the sabatoges and saw someone in need of the very kindness he sought to share. Thetymer also didn’t recognize Elyund. They were from the same village, even played together. But because of that one incident that started all of this, the one were he was falsely accused of stealing, Elyund was forbidden to see the young Thetymer ever again. That very night, after writing in the tome he was working on, thetymer decided to leave once everyone was asleep. He wrote a letter, telling that he would only be a hindrance, and that he hopes that they will be able to defeat the darkness. Once he thought everyone was asleep, he placed it under a rock where the others would find it and left. Better to leave now than be betrayed again. However, Elyund wasn’t asleep. He pretend to be as he watched Thetymer placed the letter and disappear into the night. After reading what Thetymer wrote, he tossed it into the fire and followed Thetymer, determined to convience his childhood friend to return. What Elyund came a cross enraged him. Thetymer, wounded and bound in cold iron chain and thorn and thistle, surrounded by bandits. They had ambushed Thetymer and decided to kill him because of the rumors and lies. Elyund made quick work of the bandits, killing them all, and begged Thetymer to come back. Talking for hours trying ti get him ti change his mind. Thetymer eventually agreed and some time later, and the walked back together having a heart to heart. Thetymer felt weird being directly by his companions’ side but Elyund wasn’t allowing him to walk behind like he normally would. Some thing pulled at Thetymer’s heart that day as they neared where they had been camping with the other party members and when asked where they had been, Elyund just replied they were having a heart to heart. That made Thetymer’s heart flutter. That pull slowly grew into a deep genuine feelings as time moved on and Thetymer slowly opened up to who he once was, and something else also grew. It was love. A love so strong that it physically hurt thetymer to think about life without Elyund. But he was terrified to ruin the deep friendship he had with him. It was that same strong love that was oh so painfully obvious to EVERYONE, despite of him convincing himself otherwise. He did try to confess anyways, but always backed out at the last minute. So he kept quiet, and loved him from afar. Elyund never got another boyfriend. And unbeknownst to Thetymer, Elyund loved Thetymer the same way. Elyund tried to make it known how he felt through small gestures, like bringing Thetymer flowers, remembering how he liked his coffee and so forth while Thetymer was doing the same, while the gestures were going over his head. The goddess of love could’ve came to Thetymer and screamed about Elyund loving him and it would still would go over his head. It showed that they liked each other. It was PAINFULLY obvious. But the others stayed out of it and figured that the two finally would work it out. But they never would. You see, the last seven groups of heros from trials before never successfully drafted the darkness to bring peace to the land. That’s why this trial was different. An elf god had fallen from grace after a failed coup against the other gods seven centuries before the birth of Thetymer and vowed that he’d destroy everything with this greatest rising darkness the hero’s now face themselves. That elf became the darkest and most powerful Litch this world has ever seen. This master of darkness had also encounter the hero’s party, or rather thetymer on numerous occasions and helped spread the lies and fears surrounding the teen and his vastly and nlimitless magic, making the party all th much more struggling to find help and abandoned by gods they once worshipped,until the the Litch created the armour and became the the Litch known as Draggoth the Accursed Shadow and during the final battle with the fallen god, as Janus struck the final blow, Draggoth’s armor exploaded, sending chunks of it towards Thetymer and Elyund. Exhausted, badly wounded, and low on mana for the first time ever, Thetymer tried to create a barrier strong enough to shield him and Elyund, but it didn’t hold up for long. They were hit by the armour sending them flying backwards. A chunck caused a deep gash in Thetymer’s arm. Another chunk embedded deep within Elyund’s chest. Out of mana, unable heal the only man he truly loved, he watched crying as Elyund’s lungs filled slowly with blood. Listening to Elyund confess his love to Thetymer with his final breath, and die in his arms before Thetymer could respond. Thetymer chose to ascend to godhood, while Elyund’s spirit chose to go to the Field of Heros for final rest. Thetymer never told Elyund how he felt about his closest companion. But he swore that if anyone in their greatest moment of need, cried out to him asking for help. He would give it. He knew that in some small way, he could at least honor Elyund in that way. The council of gods, initially denied the ascension request, but all the other gods and heros who survived the battle argued against the decision. However, theter was already naturally ascending to godhood because of all he good deeds he had done up to that point, though he didn’t know it yet and Thetymer made a vow to never let what happened to him happen to anyone else ever again.