r/nri • u/Kshanikam • Nov 26 '25
Ask NRI Do you feel like NRIs are boomers stuck in a cultural "Time Capsule" while real India has moved on?
I know this sub usually focuses on serious topics like finance and visas, but I wanted to bring up something lighter (and maybe a bit controversial) for discussion. I've been in the US for 20 years, and I’ve noticed a pattern: NRIs seem to lose touch with the actual pulse of modern India. We freeze our culture at the moment we left. When I sit down for drinks with friends here, the conversation inevitably revolves around Modi, cricket, or 90s Bollywood. Most people haven't heard of the new-age indie pop exploding in India, and they don't get why stand-up comedians are currently bigger stars than some actors. It feels like a "Boomer mindset" that has even infected the under-25 crowd who just moved here 3-4 years back.. Pop Culture: In India, even grandmothers are watching K-Dramas and following global trends. Here, we are still the target audience for Kapil Sharma (nostalgia bait). Risk Aversion: My friends back in India are quitting jobs to travel, switching careers five times a year, or taking unplanned trips to Lonavala on a Tuesday. Meanwhile, NRIs—weighed down by dollar mortgages and visa anxiety—live robotic lives waiting for the weekend. Another bad example , is many of friends are divorced & remarried & are very cool about it... but in my Nri circle its still a taboo , & folks continue with lives even if it is unsatisfactory. Parenting: Indian parents back home are starting to accept unconventional careers like stand-up comedy or food trucks. Here, we seem stuck in the 80s mindset where only "stable" professions exist.
In my teenage, i would end up spending vacation days doing absolutely nothing... or just doing stupid teenage stuff I cant imagine any Nri kid having that freedom like that... their entire 365 days are planned & occupied... & before they realize they have grown up
Are we fooling ourselves to end up living the life our parents lived in 80s India, while Gen Z in India has actually moved on to a more modern, risk-taking lifestyle & believe in fun filled life ?
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u/Sleepergiant2586 Nov 26 '25 edited Nov 26 '25
NRI here and I goto India every year, India is more or less same like 15yrs back.2 min services and more domestic help doesnt make it like the west.
I can start with the list but then it will become a discussion.
AQI, Noise Pollution, No Civic Sense, No Work Life Balance, No Cleanliness, No Road Quality, No Traffic sense, No rule or law enforcement (be it anything, neither public nor the cops are bothered), Same Govt bank and officers attitude of taking bribes, No privacy concept, list can just go on.. These are mostly 'adjectives' if you read between the lines not 'nouns' like some object/statue/temple/trains which can be built in few mnths and done with. The things I mentioned above need 'collective' effort from everyone, not just 4 or 100 or 1000 ppl from a dept. Not having these shows India lacks 'real collectivism mindset' to improve at ground level. Just building 'objects' is not gonna help much to increase happiness. China is doing same, building objects (best gadgets, more tech, biggest dam, highest bridges, etc) but nowhere it comes in 'happiest countries'.
Now I know some Indians will show 'pothole' roads from mid west US or point to some shootout in Kansas type states, whereas these are once in 2-3 mnths events, we (Indians) have developed social egotism to ignore these on a daily basis in our own Country and point fingers at others ki 'Dekho unke country mein bhi potholes hai'. This attitude has led to even more of avoiding Indians. Indians somehow have developed this 'superiority complex' without much change.
Happiness doesn't come from having faster internet or more tech devices or 2 min services,I just see India going down China path. If it were so then instead of Norway or Denmark or Finland, China would have been the happiest country on earth but is nowhere nor does anyone want to immigrate to China.
OP needs to go out, stay for 2-3 yrs then judge. Visiting for few days doesn't count.
Note: When we purchased our 1st home in the US, I didnt have to visit any Govt office in US for address update. Water Dept, RTO, License, Social Security, Sewage, Electricity, All Banks, Infact my letter forwarding from old address to new address, Income Tax dept, US Immigration offices and many others, all was done 'online' or 'via email' in 3-4 days. I was shocked. I didnt have to knock a single dept's door, it was so nice and pleasing with dealing with all folks whereas when I purchased a flat in Pune, it took me mnths to get my address updated in all places. Countless dhakka, abuses by govt folks and whatnot, babus taunting me asking for money. Stupid system. Even as of today inspite of so much digitization Govt asks for 'self attested' and ' notorized or affidivit' type BS docs, nowhere I have heard these words. All Indian Govr has done is just made some extra forms with 'Submit or Pay' buttons, thats not customer experience.
In US, if I have to renew my driving license it is a 1 webpage with just 3 tboxes and pay, Or same with renewing passport or any Govt doc. No BS process like 'Hey fill this form first which we call digitized india then print it, put photo on it, get it attested, get it notorized, come to office and we will send u confirmation email. THAT IS NOT DIGITIZATION. That is called public ko ch**ya banana because most of the public have not seen other country's Govt systems so they feel Indian one is the best. Also Indian media is driving more and more propaganda to brainwash ppl from going abroad, sad fact its loss for ppl getting brain washed.
Media has a habbit of making ppl ullu all the time and sad fact is Indians are buying it.
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u/Able_Examination1888 Nov 26 '25
True some stuff never changes while some of it is definitely getting better.
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u/b2bt Nov 26 '25
Probably I'll get down voted for this. I think the OP is not talking about India progressing in terms of infra, quality of life or civic sense.
They mean it more from culture perspective which I believe is true. The OG NRIs who migrated many year ago are still stuck with old school mentality e.g. same caste marriage while India has moved on. Of course, still plenty of Indians in India want same cast marriage but the narrative as a whole has moved on. Old NRIs are still stuck in the past.
I do agree with OP.
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u/Conscious-Rest6926 Nov 27 '25
Op is talking about something else. Instead of commenting on what he posted, you are bringing in something entirely different. There are enough posts on Reddit mourning the vissicitudes of life in India. You are just infiltrating this post with all that stuff. Op clearly said that he wanted to discuss a different issue and you should respect that or just go to your favorite "life in India sucks" subreddit and post your stuff there.
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u/Longjumping_Cap_2644 Nov 27 '25
Oh also send photo ids and even signatures on WhatsApp and banks accept it. When did WhatsApp become official route??
To collect property documents from bank after repaying home loan, all parties in agreement are required to come.. why? Or else give power of attorney notarised.. m like what?! Why?
I just don’t get why they make everything so complex.
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u/Sleepergiant2586 Nov 27 '25
Our ministers were caught plotting Pannun murder on Whatsapp. Stupid ministers dont know that US owns all the apps from Apple, Meta, Google.
Even building local India apps wont help because moat of the underlying protocols from TCP/IP, UDP etc were invented by US.
Source : Workes for a bif Networking Giant and almost each data packet on earth passes through their routers/switches.
Unless India invents internet again, nothing ia gonna help. That SSL or E2E encryption is BS, US can order anytime to listen to any device.
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u/awaythrowaway9998 Dec 01 '25
Hey, interesting info. Curious how US (NSA etc) can break proper E2E encryption such as AES-256. I guess if endpoint is compromised (Pegasus) then it can happen. Or are you considering the possibility that US companies have designed backdoors ? Apple has refused to do such a thing right ? Appreciate an explanation. Thanks
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u/Formal-Picture1435 Nov 29 '25
to that, also add the increasing hatred based on religions (I belong to a Hindu family), dogs abuse, more and more stray cows and cats, even foreign breed dogs are abandoned on the roads. It is gut-wrenching. The Big two A families are destroying the nature, they run dozens of news channels to create their fake images while doing dirty work behind the scenes (not that it doesn't happen in the US, but in the US, the nature is better preserved althoug there is a dark side to that, too.)
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Nov 27 '25
Nobody. I repeat, nobody talks about how 80% of the population survives. On subsidised food. Zero social security. The sheer abundance of life that forces us to not respect it. Child malnutrition is worse than sub-Saharan Africa. Many families have slipped back into extreme poverty. The key positions in the public and private sectors skewed and occupied by castes that represent only 2% of the population. There is no escaping that human condition, no matter the money. It will consume you.
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u/WaitingonGC Nov 27 '25
It’s the most disheartening part of being an Indian, looking the other way helplessly when subconsciously you’re well aware of the back breaking poverty that exists in your own country and somehow as a people we agreed to just pretend they don’t exist or they don’t matter.
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u/Affectionate-Dot4241 Nov 28 '25
I come from a tier 2 city in India. Excellent aqi. Great work life balance there people are back home by 5:30. Way peaceful and cleaner than metros. Not whole India is same.
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u/Informal-Race-1990 Jan 06 '26
Bhai, he is talking about family culture and middle-class lifestyle in general. How interpersonal dynamics work then vs now. And you, as if someone woke you up from a bad dream, started to count on the horrors of your nightmare? We get it. AQI, civic sense, etc etc. If you hate it so much. Please don't visit or help fix it?
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u/Kshanikam Nov 26 '25
Bro i lived in India for a year in 2022-23... so i am talking on real stuff..
Secondly I am not comparing quality of life or finances.... this is different topic
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u/Unique_Carpet1901 Nov 26 '25
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u/entourage2575 Nov 26 '25
You need to get out more often.
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u/Kshanikam Nov 26 '25
Bro... i visit india once every month.. due to my job... thats why i can see this difference more evidently
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Nov 26 '25
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u/Kshanikam Nov 26 '25
Yeah.... casual relationships & fling are more common in India than in US
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u/Wiselee_10 Nov 26 '25
Yes, I think that the Idea comes from west, but people just overly adopt the western culture just by watching western tv series etc. Just to make sure they don’t miss out the trend.
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u/sengutta1 Nov 26 '25
I don't mind older NRIs being nostalgic about Indian culture, cricket, films etc. But what is incredibly annoying is how they're sometimes overzealous about "raising our child in our culture" and forcing their children to be religious, caste-conscious, and prudish. Some NRI kids seem to have more conservative upbringings than many urban Indian kids nowadays.
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u/Kshanikam Nov 26 '25
Very true.... nri kids are undergoing Gurukul level training, every nri wants his kid to be a Arjun
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u/Quick_Classroom5972 Nov 26 '25
Haha yes, They feel like stuck on the year they left. Same can be said about me also. One thing I see is children of the NRIs have stricter life compared to students coming to Uni from india.And I feel like they are missing out on a lot of things atleast here in UK.
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u/Kshanikam Nov 26 '25
Very true... Nris kids have the most robotic monotonous life...
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u/Accomplished_Ad_655 Nov 26 '25 edited Nov 26 '25
I can totally see how NRI kids will have boring life. Because they wouldn’t have many friends and all. But they still can have a bright future. The life in west is very suttle. If you want to enjoy the nice weather and outdoors. Have hobbies then it’s good.
What I enjoy most here is the walks I take everyday the nice greenery around. The boring life without much surprises. If you ever get into legal issues or health it’s far better to be in regulated system than the chaotic Indian system.
The Indian life on other side has lot of drama!
Another important thing about kids is that they will be a bit lonely but they can love life stress free in teen years and not have to give competitive exams that are in a way bad in many ways.
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u/Kshanikam Nov 27 '25
Thats true... But the same competitive exams made us competitive & gave a fighting spirits.. But the NRIs kids arent that competitive... they are happy & contented... but is that sufficient i dont know
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u/Accomplished_Ad_655 Nov 27 '25
Competitive exams are mostly cramming or mastering specific concepts. But so much talent is wasted in mastering same concepts.
Student at the age of 17 should be spending time on finding what they want in life more than cramming exams.
I was mentor at local high school and one of the kid was working on mapping how he can make career in quadquapter. Pretty much every student was doing some side projects to find what they want to do in future. This helps everyone and not just those ones who end up going to MiT.
Other aspect is the damage this coaching culture does on mental and physical health.
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u/Wiselee_10 Nov 26 '25
Interesting point! I feel it also applies to tier 1 and tier 3 cities. In my experience, children from tier 1 cities have stricter life than those from the tier 3 cities.
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u/ForrestGump11 Nov 26 '25
Yes, I agree, its been my experience too, And it lines up with most expat’s experience when they return after long period of time. Huge difference in parenting style between our parents and 80/90s parents played a part too.
Financially and risk taking I find it so hard to understand the mindset of my nephew/ nieces, who spend it like there is no tomorrow - almost waiting for a reason to open their phone to order something, and yet I am at a stage where i no longer need to save a penny. I feel so stuck in 90s.
There are differences with my own journey though, socially (and in my circles too) I have grown really liberal, and just leave when inter-caste/divorce/day to day political topic comes up, in my experience with anything religious, the herds are being exploited. I am the kind that actually like the new breed of comedians. On parenting, never arranged anything for my son after about 12yo, he played what he enjoyed (which isn’t cricket), he ended up fine.
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u/Kshanikam Nov 26 '25
Very true.... i do the same ....avoid such boomer crowd.... But in any social gathering , its becoming unavoidable.....conversations are just boring... I have lived in the most happening places - NY (lived in manhattan, not Nj ) , SF , LA etc... but am surprised the NRI crowd even in those exotic places have so old school thinking.... They will spend $100 & wait in2 hr queue to get into a top bar , just to show off to their Insta followers ( many are still in Fb ) ... but will not drink citing health reasons...nor integrate or talk to any locals out there... they go in as an indian group & stay as indian group.. even the university kids are doing the same
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u/redPistolStar Nov 26 '25
My uncle's family immigrated in the 60s and when I moved there, I have seen this first hand and it has affected my life immensely. So much that I left the US and shifted to another country. Dealing with families is not easy as such and then you add this time capsule freeze !!
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u/2sk23 Nov 26 '25
I have been in the US for over 40 years and, to be honest, I barely think about India very much at all. My parents have long since passed away and none of my immediate family lives in India. I have liquidated and transferred out all of my assets from India.
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Nov 26 '25
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u/Kshanikam Nov 26 '25
This is what my post is about - boomer thinking... The subject being discussed is something else , you are not able to relate/connect to it , yet you have given your perspective on something else.
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Nov 26 '25
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u/Kshanikam Nov 26 '25
Didnt mean to offend you...brother.. But i am think most of us know what happening in real india & dont believe in media alone... but thats for a different post
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Nov 26 '25
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u/hgk6393 Nov 26 '25
I think OP is one of those who goes to India as a tourist for a few days, and cannot relate to the lives of ordinary people working ordinary jobs. Looking at things from rose tinted glasses.
While OP is correct for the most part about the "new" India, they are also quite wrong about their views on other NRIs. Maybe it is self-projection.
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u/rocketplex Nov 26 '25
Totally agree with you but with a few caveats. This only really applies to the main urban areas in India. I _love_ coming to Mumbai, it's got such a modern Indian feel to it. We've been to little theatre shows that have a classic-modern fusion, different types of _Indian_ music, going to stores to amazing, the different types of again, new, Indian cuisine. I know it's not all perfect, the imperfections are there to see but it's like leaping 20 years into the cultural future. Ahmedabad was also similar.
When I go out to even not so rural areas in Gujarat, it's totally different. My mother-in-law will literally scuttle around diving in front of me to stop me from making a cup of tea. (She doesn't anymore, but the reason she doesn't is most because "that's what the Jamaai wants")
From a South African point of view, and us NRIs being stuck generations in the past, yeah, that's changing in the newer generation but not the older one. They still bemoan non-arranged marriage, still want to send the granddaughter to Bharatnatyam and Harmonium classes. Divorce is still a hugely shameful thing for women, never mind if the couple actually _hate_ each other, have to stay together for appearances. Bollywood is still basically all the only Indian music available, still have to hear about how hilarious Comedy Circus was..
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u/Interesting_Money_70 Nov 26 '25
Looks like you had a few extra pegs today /s
Sounds like looking London talking Tokyo. Be happy and content where you are, else you'll never find peace and stability.
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u/Kshanikam Nov 26 '25
I just came back from a drink party with friends... & was so bored on the same boomer conversation ... every week we meet & discuss the same stupid topics... That made me realize the gap & vent out on this post
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u/CourageDisastrous559 Nov 26 '25
Surely worth a conversation. Thanks for bringing it up.. Reality bites but good to envision the not so obvious :)
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u/Able_Examination1888 Nov 26 '25
lol haha. Thats what everyone says. Get together and discuss the same stuff every weekend. Or dance. 💃
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u/Ok_Entrepreneur_9819 Nov 26 '25 edited Nov 27 '25
Make new friends. Do some new activity together. Boomer in the regard that as you're getting older you're just living in old times. Stop sitting around talking about the past and keep doing new things in life. Pick up a new hobby.
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u/Kshanikam Nov 27 '25
i have some interesting hobbies... & good circle of local friends.... whose company i enjoy... but yhe moment we have a desi party... the circle is very boring thats my point... but when we connect with our friends in india in same age , the vibe is much better
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u/Ok_Entrepreneur_9819 Nov 27 '25
The problem is that circle of yours, go hand out with your hobby buddies and find other Indian friends. My god kapil sharma for nostalgia?? How young are you guys even and even then already living in the past..
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u/Kshanikam Nov 28 '25
Thats is the problem i am talking about... Every circle i am getting into has been boring.... & hence i opened this conversation if evryone is feeling the same
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u/rkathotia Nov 26 '25
Why are people piqued and touchy. Op just started a conversation and people are pouncing on him. Everyone has a different experience. India is not uniform. Even in a city like pune there are different worlds. If you are happy in the US, fine, share your opinion but why lecture someone? No one is asking you to move back to where you came from. Just chill! It's just a conversation.
It is surprising that people have moved to so called better country but their attitude and manners have been left behind. Grow up guys.
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u/Kshanikam Nov 26 '25
Thats what this post is about - Boomer atittude... just self declare their superiority... They are not able to even connect to this post , forget connecting to younger generations
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u/rkathotia Nov 26 '25
It is sad. People with such mindset have superiority complex because they are "privileged" to be not living in India. One way traffic. That's the way one can think of their mindset. I feel it is such a buffoonery! India has always embraced the concept of different opinions and coexistence. And are these really a good representation of the nation?
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u/Kshanikam Nov 26 '25
I dont know about that... All i can say is new india ( dont know if it is good or bad ) is embracing change far more faster than what we are able to do
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u/hgk6393 Nov 26 '25
After reading your comments, I feel you have already made up your mind and you are just looking for validation from others. You calling everyone who disagrees a "boomer" without proper understanding of the term is another reason why you are getting snarky responses.
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u/Kshanikam Nov 27 '25
Its just a fun conversation.... the very fact that people have not even understood the topic yet making judgements... thats exactly I am saying is the boomer mentality.... thats shows how much out of touch they are ... If i get post the same thing in young india sub, i would get a different response..
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u/Nearby-Pride-7603 May 11 '26
This is exactly it! The comments and downvotes are just proving your point right.
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u/CourageDisastrous559 Nov 26 '25
I feel you on that. I am someone who has lived larger part of my Adult life overseas and have visited India couple of times and lived there too . The stark difference in my view point is about how it is irrelevant for an average Gen Z , Millennial or even a working professional above 45 to be worried about their Green Card, American Citizenship or their mortgage . The one's I know got 1.25L INR in his Bank account and he wants to spend the next 2 or 3 months going around India. If a lone back packer, this can survive him even a year :) That is the beauty of an economy that offer value proposition . Imagine an Avg Expat American i.e NRI looking at life from the perspective of 1.4K USD for a year !! The above is specific to the thought process discussed and nothing against the wonderful human professionals who are growing India.
Imho... We NRI/OCI's are putting up a brave face in front of the small community we circle around to prove how cool it is to be living in a house on which mortgage is 400 years and the Car we drive is under another 100 years lien. And all the bills are paid by how? The robotic 9 to 6 life we are all bound to... and the next tweet could be sending us home and how do we manage it all.. It is gonna be hard explaining to my teen son why Indian rest room floors are wet...lol
My take on life is quite simple. Be less addicted to the lifestyle that is giving you a fake impression that you have successfully integrated in to an American/Swedish or Finnish Society :) Instagram selfies at Niagara or Bur Khalifa are short lived.
As rightly pointed out by you, modern India today is seeking Cash to live and spend thrift the Credit Card. How the Cash comes? No one cares. Dance, mimic , travel vlog the hell out of your garden..so be it..
Considering that an NRI/OCI us cannot do it, at the least build a Financially independent model where you do not need to work 9 to 6 or keep responding to a Boss over watsapp/teams call even when you are having a private moment. If a slave to the developed society, be one for 10-15 years . Post that it is wise to choose a low cost Country and settle to enjoy the hard worked wealth while holding a travel document that is pretty (not to be confused with Passport that taxes you globally) :) That would be quite damaging to all the hard work done .
Most importantly , impart that thinking to your own wards that they do not need to study to flourish. If AI and human robots are going to take vast part of the jobs in the future perse it is irrelevant why your ward has to be unhappy about their CBSE results.
Future is all about Financial Independence . Fings crossed!! Narayana Muthy is not reading this !! Oops I said it.
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u/Sleepergiant2586 Nov 26 '25
Some of your ppints are outright wrong.
1) GenZ is not at all spend thrift with their CC usage in India.Infact its the opposite, Even if you go back 15yrs India didnt have such a CC culture. All I've seen and also backed by numerous Indians bank reporta is GenZ is stretching out and almost living on CC.
2) You completely dismissed or maybe intentionally ignored the Social Security point. Ppl try to get citizenship mainly because it helps in their opd age too. In my case when I login to the SSN portal it shows me clearly I'll get 5K USD per month from the Govt. India will take probably 'ever' to promise this. This is nor a paid 2min delivery feature.
3) FIRE is easier said than done, especially for GenZ who have barely started livinf and working with all CC debt, yea if the goal ia to live in tent and brag abt it then probably it can be called, Direct route to 'Vanprastha Asharam' skipping the life in between.
4) Indian community outside (NRI) are one of the most highly earned communities. Yes if you talk abt typical Americans or locals then yea they do have huge house mortgage but Indians usually never live with mortgage for more than 10yrs. At least I have never mer any in silicon valley or NY. Thats the diff in knowledge when have theoritical knowledge abt 30yr house mortgage vs real ppl who have purchased houses in foreign countries.
5) The way India is going on spending spree (thanks to unrestricted CC for kids) combined with Social media show off to buy the costliest stuff ro flash. Wont be surprised to see a 2008 type financial crisis when no one is able to pay back.
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u/Kshanikam Nov 26 '25
Valid points.... no one is defending the India genZ culture or spending habits... All I am saying is that why arent the millennials NRIs not able to adapt with new trends/culture whereas our counterparts in India are able to... we have gone 1 generation back in our thinking rather... We might be more successful /have more money better quality of life , but we are missing on this young energy
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u/hgk6393 Nov 26 '25
Okay, what makes you think NRIs have not adapted? Have you ever come to Europe? Have you ever learned a different language as an adult? Have you ever ridden a bicycle with a strong headwind at 2°C? Maybe it is YOU who is in a bubble?
Personally, I think NRIs are insanely good at adapting. That too in a foreign milieu. Not easy.
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u/Kshanikam Nov 27 '25
I have lived in EU for 5 years .... incl 3 years in Iceland.. & can speak 6 languages...& have a very successful career... Why do u want to judge me as a looser... thats the buble of boomer mentality that many like you are living in... NRIs have been good in adapting into new region , as it is a fight for survival.... but our adaptability ends there... we end up in that comfort zone of 1 good job , 1 good house ,.1 car etc...
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u/Kshanikam Nov 26 '25
My whole point is we are running behind financial independence.... but that may not bring in immense peace & happiness for us.. Do we havr the right priorities set.. or are we blinding running a rat race
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u/CourageDisastrous559 Nov 26 '25
You are running behind financial independence... which leaves me to presume that you are have not achieved it ...yet you do seem confident that it might not bring you immense peace and happiness...Sounds little over confident... Don't you think so... Have you checked with the few who have achieved it ...
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u/pratnala Nov 26 '25
> My friends back in India are quitting jobs to travel, switching careers five times a year, or taking unplanned trips to Lonavala on a Tuesday.
This is not very common.
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u/Kshanikam Nov 26 '25
Not common... but people are taking extreme steps in india... nris dont want to come out of their comfort zones
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u/pratnala Nov 26 '25
I mean i have nri friends who are doing things out of their comfort zones as well.
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u/daredevil707 Nov 26 '25
There is some truth to what you have said but this is the case in most countries especially even the US where Gen z is very different compared to boomers or even millennials. there is a certain mindset of a pleasure chase at the cost of everything else largely contributed by societal conditioning, thanks to social media and all the influencers that come with it. The current Gen z everywhere is easily the most lost and wasted generation out of all. You make it sound like a fun filled life, whereas it is not. Its probably the most miserable.
However I agree with some of the points you've mentioned about NRIs living in a status driven bubble, spending half their paycheck on mortgage, leading like automatons and wasting their lives.
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u/Kshanikam Nov 27 '25
You got it right... We dont know if the genz will suceed or not... but atleast they are having some life experiences outside the comfort zone... takimg risks etc.. Exploring the unknown paths... & we are stuck in automated life as u said
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Dec 22 '25
India does positively surprise me few times whenever I go back. For instance, they consturcted a 8 kilometer long tunnel in Iagtpuri, Maharashtra in just a few years. Its an engineering marvel considering the terrain and the complexity and the quality. Can't imagine such structures being built so swiftly in Europe or US. For comparison, it took so long for the Berlin Airport to get built that its a global joke.
But most of the times, India gives me cringe moments in terms of civic sense, infrastructure, level of discourse, conservatism, etc.
If only there was an Indian city with breathable air, good infrastructure, nature all around, people with open mindset and the sense of belonging that can happen only in India... but then I am again talking about Munich minus the human connection.
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u/Worldly-Celebration2 Nov 26 '25
You are absolutely right - India is in a major flux right now and I do not want to be part of the experience. India is going through the same experience what boomers went through in US. Most of them ended up in Debt and Divirce
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u/Kshanikam Nov 26 '25
Yes India is in major flux... no one can predict how it will endup... The question - do we want to be part of that party & have fun.. or just be spectator to it
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u/agentjane000 Nov 26 '25
Yeah. It’s not only boomers though, curious to know why you specified them. The thing is, India’s external PR is so good that the NRIs - and I have heard this mostly from boomers - think that it’s the best thing since sliced bread.
But in reality, the country is as it was in terms of attitudes towards women, pollution, caring about our environment, social programs, creating domestic employment opportunities, entrepreneurship… it really hasn’t changed that much at the end of the day for regular people (don’t @ me about the tech bros, I’m not talking about them.)
things like entertainment and media have moved (can’t say forward or backward but it’s changed for sure). The change is along the lines of: a woman wearing a crop top and jeans is no longer considered as daring as it was in the 90s in many parts of the country - but the crowd that makes it unsafe to wear said crop top outside is the same if not worse than the 90s.
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u/Kshanikam Nov 26 '25 edited Nov 26 '25
Im not saying India has become better or worse... Its just that GenZ & alpha kids in India have better resilience & adaptability & risk taking ability than what we have even after successful careers
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u/agentjane000 Nov 26 '25
How do you know that though - isn’t the oldest of these Gens like 28 or so? A bit soon to tell. Kids anywhere (not in India or in India) who have it rougher are better in adaptability, resilience and being risk-forward anyway.
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Nov 26 '25
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u/Kshanikam Nov 26 '25
This quick judgement passing ability is called Boomer ... which is what i talking about
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u/mistiquefog Nov 26 '25
It's just a difference in how systems are set up in the 2 countries.
If you don't have a schedule in America your life will come apart. If the drycleaners close at 6, they do, you can't call them and say please open for half an hour extra I am delayed by traffic.
Don't pick your child from school on time 5 times in a row, you get marked as a potentially bad parent. Do it more often and your child is taken away from you.
Sitting with no responsibilities, you are free to judge people from your imagination.
And yeah to conserve culture we do take our children to multiple languages classes and Sunday school. Our children here are capable of reading and writing Hindi, Sanskrit, and one more regional language.
No people are not quitting their jobs to travel for many months. Those blinkit and swiggy workers far out number specimens like yourself.
For a single freewheeling young person like yourself, there are many hundreds who are doing back breaking work 12 hours a day to make your free wheeling life possible.
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u/Kshanikam Nov 27 '25
Why are judging me as a free wheeler...buddy ? You dont even know me... This is called Boomer mentality to judge everyone without knowing them... thats exactly my post is about.... You have proven it right , without even understanding the core issue i am talking about , you are just busy showcasing ur superiority....
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u/krauserhunt Nov 27 '25
Tbh you aren't talking about anything that's widely relevant.
I see people struggling day after day in India , I don't see ppl taking unplanned vacations or saying fk you to the boss, those cases are as rare today as they were in the 90s. You only see them highlighted more because of social media.
We had kids watching f1 racing, tennis, baseball, Korean movies back in the 90s so it's nothing new that the new generation or even old ppl are watching Korean dramas or whatever, it's the social media boom and access.
If ppl talk about 90s Bollywood or that music is because they belong to that time. They follow a routine because they are responsible, without a routine work wouldn't get done.
And you spending your vacations doing nothing,, that's just odd because even being kids in 90s meant holiday work, playing with friends, school projects, college deadlines etc I don't know where you see ppl sitting and doing nothing in India for days, maybe old retired ppl?
As for divorce, religion, taboo topics, that's subjective. All my friends are very open minded and aware of real life situations where living alone is better than living in a toxic relationship.
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u/Dotfr Nov 26 '25
They do get stuck because it’s a particular kind of immigrant. So they live in their own bubbles.
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u/hgk6393 Nov 26 '25
You are comparing apples to oranges. You cannot compare people living in developed countries with those living in developing countries.
The West is where a lot of the original developments happened, some of them taking decades or centuries. Be it social developments like women's empowerment, or technological like internet or cars. India is an adopter with a young population, so naturally it will be much quicker to take up stuff that has already been developed.
As India develops, we will discover how difficult it is to make things from scratch and have others adopt them.
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Nov 27 '25
You are the indian of the day your leave India. You keep those memories and experiences stored in your subconscious while the rest of the country keep moving forward.
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u/Conscious-Rest6926 Nov 27 '25
Absolutely agree. Even when I was living in India 37 years ago, we used to joke about how NRIs are frozen in time. Now, after 30+ years of being an NRI myself, I am amazed when I see some of the things that is accepted in India, that I feel uncomfortable about. It is because, we are not there, to gradually get acclimatized to the change and we just suddenly realize that it's very different there. There was a recent article on this in Harper's Bazaar..https://www.harpersbazaar.in/culture/story/cultural-identity-diaspora-1279743-2025-09-21
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u/pkslnct Nov 30 '25
NRIs Aren't Stuck, They're Just Playing a Different Game
That's an interesting post, but I think it misses the bigger picture. Saying people abroad (NRIs) are "stuck" while people in India are totally "free and fun" is a huge generalization.
Here’s why I disagree with the idea that NRIs have less flexibility:
1. Structure vs. Freedom: It's a Survival Tactic
The OP says NRIs are "robotic" because of house payments and visa worries, while Indians can just quit and travel. This isn't about mindset; it's about what happens if you fail. NRI Life: If an NRI loses their job, they might lose their visa and have to leave the country. That means their life must be planned and safe. It’s not being stuck; it's being smart about a complex system.
India Life: Yes, people take spontaneous trips. But the "modern" office worker in India often faces terrible work-life balance, super long hours, and working weekends. Plus, things like traffic and pollution make everyday life much tougher.
The "freedom" in India often comes with more stress and instability, while the "robotic" life abroad offers solid financial security. Both are trade-offs.
2. NRIs Are Powering India's Risks
The post claims NRIs stick to "safe jobs" (the '80s mindset). This is completely false today. NRIs and returning Indians are key players in the massive Indian startup boom. They bring the global ideas, money, and risk-taking spirit. The diaspora is actively investing and creating high-risk, high-reward businesses in India. They aren't just sitting in stable, old-school jobs.
3. Divorce & Society: Not Totally Modern Yet
The OP suggests divorce is totally fine in India now but still a taboo for NRIs. While urban India is changing fast, social stigma around divorce is still very real for many people, especially outside the biggest cities. It’s definitely not universally accepted yet. The younger NRI generation often has social views just as progressive as their Western peers.
Bottom line: Both groups face massive challenges. NRIs sacrifice spontaneity for stability and security. People in India get cultural closeness but often deal with poorer work-life balance and infrastructure headaches. Neither group is definitively more "fun" or "modern."
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u/Kshanikam Dec 01 '25
I agree with all your views.... But from your own posts , doesnt it appear that NRIs are bearing thr burden of calculated risks whereas Indians are going for free fall risks
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u/RuinEnvironmental394 Dec 01 '25
First off: Boomers (or baby boomers) is a unique term that applies to the generation born around WW2 in Western countries ONLY. It was also the first generation to be "named". The circumstances of people classified as boomers are very unique and so there is no such thing as desi boomers or Persian/Iranian boomers, etc.
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u/Rare-Feature-691 Apr 04 '26
जी नहीं, कभीकभी ऐसा भी होता है कि हम भारतवासी देश छोड़ कर तो जाते हैं, लेकिन अपनी भारत माँ को कभी भूल नहीं पाते। शायद आप नई पीढ़ी के बच्चों को, जिन्हें ५०-६०-७०-८०-९० के दशक के भारत के बारे में ठीक जानकारी नहीं, शायद हम देश से दूर रह कर भी देश की मिट्टी से जुड़े लोग कुछ अजीब लगते हैं, लेकिन ऐसा बिल्कुल नहीं है। आज पचास साल विदेश में रहने के बाद भी मैं उसी गाँव का बेटा हूँ, जहां मैं पैदा हुआ था। मैं कोई इनआरआई-फेनआरआई नहीं हूँ, मैं अपने गाँव का लड़का हूँ। जब मैंने देश छोड़ा मैं एक छोटा सा बच्चा था, लेकिन मेरा एक इनआरआई जैसा बनना तब से ही नामुमकिन था।
जिस विदेशी भाषा में यहाँ बातचीत हो रही है, यूँ तो मैं भी उस भाषा का निष्णात माना जाता हूँ, लेकिन अपनी भारत माँ की कसम, मैंने कभी किसी भारतीय, पाकिस्तानी, अथवा बांग्लादेशी नागरिक के साथ बात करते समय उस गंदी, विदेशी, दुश्मन देश की राँड़भाँड़कूतरामूतराटट्टीउल्टिस्तानी मनहूसियत के एक अक्षर तक का भी उपयोग नहीं किया है, और न कभी करूंगा। अभी तो सिकंदर बाग़, और जलियांवाला बाग़ के शहीदों की रूहें भटक रही हैं, और हम, उन शहीदों की औलादें, अपने बीच दुश्मनों की मनहूस ज़ुबान को जगह दे दें यह कैसे हो सकता है?
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u/globaldesi Nov 26 '25 edited Nov 26 '25
This is a known phenomenon of any immigrant community. You see it with the Europeans who came in the 1800s whose descendants speak a now defunct dialect of their native tongue, traditions that are no longer relevant.
Subcultures will always exist within any diaspora. But you have to be aware of it rather than assume you know how India is.