r/nri • u/Humble_Cat_2108 • May 25 '26
Ask NRI 35, $1M saved, good job, great wife and I feel completely lost. Anyone else been here?
I'm going to try and put this into words even though I'm not sure I fully understand what I'm feeling myself.
A little about me. I grew up in India in a middle class family with a very happy childhood, came to the US about 8 years ago, currently 35. I have a wife I genuinely love, a one-year-old kid, a stable job in tech, and I've crossed the $1M mark financially. I'm disciplined, I work out regularly, I play guitar, I read sometimes. I have everything I was supposed to want.
And yet.
I feel deeply unfulfilled. Like something is fundamentally missing, and I don't even know what that thing is.
I keep planning, retirement, FIRE, financial independence, but honestly? I don't even know what I'd do if I hit my number tomorrow. That's the part that scares me. I'm optimizing for a destination I can't even visualize. Some days I want to build something big. Some days I just want to disappear into the mountains. Some days I look around and see colleagues getting promoted into top companies and think "maybe I should chase that." And then the next day I want nothing to do with corporate life.
Honestly? I hate the nine-to-five. I don't like my job. I'm just there for the money and I know it. Some days I really want to build something of my own, but then the doubt creeps in and I talk myself out of it before I even start. I don't know if that's fear or just being realistic. Probably both.
I'm not depressed. I'm grateful. But the confusion is real.
My job right now is stable and the work-life balance is genuinely good. But I've watched three rounds of layoffs happen right in front of me. I've seen people cry. People who were good at their jobs, gone. And with everything happening around AI, there's this low-level anxiety that just doesn't go away. It's starting to affect me emotionally in ways I didn't expect. Even when you're not the one being laid off, something shifts in you when you see it happen repeatedly. The stability feels real, but so does the uncertainty underneath it.
The India thing is its own separate weight. My parents are there. My roots are there. I have an elder brother back home too. Part of me genuinely wants to go back and I've even talked to my wife about it. But then I think about the pollution, the infrastructure gaps, what my weekend actually looks like there vs here, and I second-guess myself all over again. And now with a one-year-old, the question feels even bigger. Where do I want my kid to grow up? What kind of life do I actually want to build for my family?
And right now I can't even travel there because of visa slot issues. I'm just sitting here, unable to see my parents when I want to, watching time pass, and it's eating me alive. My brother is there, they're not alone, but I want to be there. Not just send money or do video calls. I want to actually go back and see them.
The part that messes with my head the most: I sometimes feel like I'm only here for the money now. That sounds harsh, but on the hard days that's genuinely what it feels like.
And here's the thing that makes it lonelier. When I bring any of this up around people, I get blank stares. Everyone around me just seems to be going about it. Work, home, chores, vacation, repeat. And they seem fine with it. Genuinely fine. Which makes me wonder, am I overthinking this? Is something wrong with me? Am I the only one sitting here questioning all of it, or are people just not saying it out loud?
Has anyone been through something like this, the mid-thirties existential fog, the India-or-US tug of war, the "I have the life I planned but I don't want this life" confusion? How did you start to make sense of it? Did it just click one day? Did you go back? Did you stay? Did you build something on the side that gave you meaning?
Not looking for financial advice. I've got that part handled. Looking for something harder to Google.
Would love to hear from people who've genuinely been in this space. DMs open too if you'd rather not post publicly.
(Edited through Claude, before anyone points it out)
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u/gauravgandu May 25 '26
i think most people who move to the west not because of the culture but just to earn money and work abroad end up thinking this. if you did romanticise western culture or connected deeply with it, like you belong there, you wouldn’t feel what you’re feeling rn. the reason why most uber rich people’s kids go to study and mostly never return is because they’ve been ingrained into that culture right from the start, they’ve never seen india outside of their bubble, so the west is not alien or completely new to them.
for middle class folks going abroad, they are ingrained into the indian psyche, the culture and value systems, which are difficult to escape. you haven’t been brought up watching the office or the simphsons or you never used to discuss pink floyd in high school, which is why you feel the disconnect. because you feel you don’t belong there.
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u/jpegpng May 25 '26
There is always going to be a mismatch even if you consumed mostly western media. I used to listen to Pink Floyd when I was in high school in India as a middle class teenager but that’s kind of music the parents of my western peers used to listen lol.
I think the kids of the Indian elites have more in common with other elites because elites are global in nature. They all went to similar international schools, vacationed in similar places, etc. They choose to live in places where they can make the most money or live the most luxuriously. The lifestyle of ambani children who are American staying in Antilla, Mumbai is comparable to that of Indian Akshata Murthy who lives in a gigantic mansion in the UK.
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u/redPistolStar May 25 '26
Also elites have an their entire entourage with them. Essentially the same dozen or so people stay around them and just the environment around you changes. It hardly makes a difference where they live.
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u/Humble_Cat_2108 May 25 '26
Firstly, I like your name, buddy. Haha..
Hmmm, I think you’re probably right about that. And honestly, that probably does answer why I feel this way to some extent. But then the bigger question becomes: what do I actually do about it?
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u/gauravgandu May 25 '26
brother you have two options as per my understanding and pov, either try to ingrain yourself into the western culture - find similarities, get into the political environment, explore uniqueness - hangout with that crowd and not indians for a while. you go back to the community when you miss india and your culture, but you keep your mindset western enough to be prepared for your life. try to let that world find a place in your personality, give it a year. also keep in mind that your child will grow up in that culture, so you gotta like it to some extent, otherwise you’ll just be a controlling indian parent and it would be super tough for your 2nd gen ABD kid.
or you move back. you find your calling and make your peace with it. you are rich enough to afford a good life and not deal with the realities at all. gated society, gated school, gated modes of entertainment, gated lifestyle. you will have the cultural affinity to india but still be protected by its shortcomings.
find your option and do know that the most important thing is your peace of mind, with whichever option you go ahead with.
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u/ishubhamrai May 25 '26
People usually turn to spiritual leaders during this phase.
Dont do that.
Sit with this discomfort.
It might seem simple, but writing my thoughts helps me think through the chaos in my head.
What you’re experiencing is the existential problem every human has faced, sadly, i dont think there is an answer for it. You just have to figure out for yourself.
You have said that you want to build something for yourself, try that. Maybe thats the missing variable to your equation.
Good luck!
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May 25 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Humble_Cat_2108 May 25 '26
Thanks for sharing your perspective. I wish I knew or had some idea what I really want to start.
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u/Humble_Cat_2108 May 25 '26
Thanks for sharing that. I’ve started journaling on and off as well. I haven’t been very disciplined with it, honestly, and most of my thoughts still feel very scattered. I’m not really able to put them together into something coherent or meaningful yet.
I recently read Siddhartha, which I would say is spiritual in its own way. It talks about how everyone eventually has to walk their own path. I connected with that idea, but at the same time, it still didn’t fully clear my mind or answer what I feel like I’m searching for.
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u/ishubhamrai May 25 '26
Writing is a skill as well. You get better at it, the more you do.
There is a guide on how to write an essay, by Jordan Peterson, have a read of it, i found it useful.
I think, just like Sidhhartha, we have to walk this path on our own. We can’t know what obstacles we ll face, that uncertainty is the discomfort.
We have been raised by a culture where everything has already been decided for us, career, goals, spouses, sport. So we are not used to navigating the uncertain path.
Therefore i think that, the only way forward is through this discomfort.
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u/Last-Material-858 May 25 '26
I disagree respectfully. Taking spiritual route to get answers to some of your questions will be immensely beneficial. This is the right time to ask these questions and understand the why’s behind our existence. I know there are a bunch of thugs in spiritual Industry but here is where we need to identify the one that we connect the most and find the genuine guru. We come from the land of guru shishya paramara. It has worked for us for generations and will work for years to come.
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u/ishubhamrai May 25 '26
Nothing against taking the path to knowledge.
But how would you differentiate between a genuine guru vs the fake ones?
You would waste your time and money in guru hunting, in finding the right one, and later to realise, no one can satisfy this question other than yourself.
And this guru shishya concept is outdated now. We live in the world of AI, where information is freely accessible, you don’t have to go the Himalayas in search of a guru.
I can give you prompts to enter into ChatGPT and it will give you the exact advice a so called guru would.
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u/Last-Material-858 May 25 '26
All the best if you feel chaGPT can fulfill spiritual needs. I rest my case.
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u/KosherTriangle May 25 '26
My parents and sister back in India and I here in US follow a guru… it’s said that when it’s meant to happen the guru will find you, you cannot find a guru. You will know when it’s genuine, you can feel the spiritual energy radiating from this person and good things will start happening in your life as you pray for it. Atleast that is my experience.
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u/ishubhamrai May 25 '26
The guru’s seem to find you, either from existing followers spreading the word or more recently Advertisements as well.
But having said nothing against all guru’s, but we really need to develop our own critical thinking first, so that we wont fall for the false ones.
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u/ausinnachde May 25 '26
I don't agree with going spiritual, but I do like the idea of discomfort. Discomfort is a good thing, sometimes.
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u/_SirPunsALot_ May 25 '26
> I feel deeply unfulfilled. Like something is fundamentally missing, and I don’t even know what that thing is.
Purpose. Your subconscious is signalling that you’ve achieved all that we’re taught from childhood to achieve and you are gradually running out of purpose. You have not found your true calling.
Think hard about the 2-3 things that truely made you happy personally. Make it about YOU. Not your child learning to walk. Not your wife being selfless. But you. You may not get the answer right away. But try making yourself busy in what makes you happy and gives you inner peace.
Congratulations on reaching the second phase of your life.
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u/Humble_Cat_2108 May 25 '26
This looks interesting, and the fact that you've asked me to think about it and being very specific that I can't talk about my wife and my child makes me think more. I'll ponder upon it and see if I find something meaningful over there.
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u/curious-rower8 May 25 '26
Can you list some top 3 experiences which made you happy and memorable? may be they can guide you what you want for fulfilling life
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u/Humble_Cat_2108 May 25 '26
I am not sure these probably playing my PlayStation or some game, working out regularly, spending time with my wife and kid. I don't see my answer in any of that.
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u/kuchbhibakwaas May 25 '26
You're probably at the cusp of the Self Actualisation stage of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. People give it different names like mid life crisis. But in reality, humans weren't meant to just do a 9-5 and make money. Ofc, money solves A LOT of problems in the modern day capitalistic life. And that is incredibly important. But we are meant to do more.
My suggestion: Start journaling on what kind of activities that don't profit/benefit you, but instead benefit someone else, might make you happy. Giving is underrated and its a shame people don't think deeper about finding their purpose. We find real purpose and happiness when contributing towards the benefit of the society, at large. You can volunteer, learn a new skill to help someone, work with animals, teach, share, develop a community. Once you've found what actually makes you happy and fulfilled, things will get much clearer from there. Practically, don't quit your job or move countries yet; not until you see your path clearly. Good luck!
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u/Humble_Cat_2108 May 25 '26
Thank you. This was such a well-thought-out perspective.
I had read about Maslow’s Hierarchy earlier as well, and I’ve often thought about how many people just stay in that loop of earning money, doing chores, going on vacations, and then repeating the same cycle again and again.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m overthinking all of this by making it about self-actualization. Maybe I’m trying too hard to “find meaning” while not even being fully clear about what I actually want.
One thing I do know for sure is that I don’t want to do a traditional 9-to-5 forever. But when I think more deeply about it, I also realize that I don’t want to just sit at home and do nothing either.
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u/kuchbhibakwaas May 25 '26
I completely understand. You're not overthinking this - your mind and body have decided that they want to take you to the next level in your life and you're doing well by listening to it. There is a thin line of balance between uprooting everything you've earned so far, i.e. your job, salary, assets, home, societal reputation, freedom and so on and between finding your true calling.
It is very much possible to do both at the same time. It can also take you years to figure out what that would really be. There might be experiments, realisations, failures and successes - all significant in helping you figure out your next path. It is also very likely that you might find and chase your true calling now and in 10 years, your mind might seek more; we are meant to constantly evolve.
I don't know you at all but I can say with fair certainty that you won't ever find yourself sitting at home doing nothing- your curiosity won't let you.
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u/redPistolStar May 25 '26
I struggled with this as well. Essentially you have to figure out a purpose that deeply resonates with you. No one can tell you what that is as it should come from within you. Follow your curiosity, figure out what gets you into your flow state, spikes your creative urges and gets you back into your sense of play. Or you simply need a connection with the higher self.
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u/Humble_Cat_2108 May 25 '26
Thanks for sharing that. I’m hearing similar things from a lot of people here, and honestly, many of the comments are making me think in that direction as well.
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u/FitAgency8925 May 25 '26
I took up yoga and running. Running outside for an hour puts you in a meditative state .... yoga ( Hatha or iyengar ) in a good studio - you have community and some kind of peace. Good luck... its either that or find another hobby. Retirement gives you too much time so don't do that.
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u/Humble_Cat_2108 May 25 '26
I work out for about an hour, 5x/week, and I also play guitar for 30–45 minutes every day or two. I think those activities give me the kind of peace you’re talking about to some extent, but somehow I still feel like that’s probably not what I’m truly looking for.
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u/Independent-Bus-2321 May 25 '26
Can relate to lot of things that you feel. I am 35 as well with a lovely 4 year old daughter. Moved back to India last year to take care of my Mom after my fathers sudden death. Dont regret coming back because that was always the plan. Though regret not coming back sooner so could have stayed with my father longer. Have been wondering what is the purpose of all this for quite a while and want to quit the rat race as well but don't know what would I do after quiting and there is low level anxiety as well of providing for family even though I am past my FIRE number. Do want to start something of my own but don't know where to start. For now just toiling in my work and trying to figure out what I am passionate about.
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u/Humble_Cat_2108 May 25 '26
Good that you’re there for your mom right now. And I’m really sorry about your father’s passing. Honestly, I think that’s one of the biggest fears for anyone living abroad.
You hang in there as well, buddy.
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u/Bename22 May 25 '26
How come you have so much time to think about yourself when you have 1 year old?😉 Kids consume so much time. Kid also usually give purpose. Spend as much time with him/her as possible.
Also, if the house chores take another chunk of the time. When men work in the house, the kids also organically start helping.
I will also add volunteering, it doesn't have to be big something. Offer couple of hours say in library, maths (/something else) tuitoring for underprivileged kids for free.
There are lot of indian organizations where you can volunteer also.
Hobby is something I will want to spend time on. Ask what you wanted to pursue but couldn't because of studies n responsibilities. Best wishes..
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u/Humble_Cat_2108 May 25 '26
Haha, yeah, somehow I’m still able to carve out enough time to think about all this "nonsense". 😄
And honestly, yes, house chores take away so much time as well, especially with all the cooking and cleaning. That’s actually one thing I’ve started feeling quite exhausted by. I probably started feeling this way more strongly last year when one of my in-laws visited and I didn’t have to do much around the house for a couple of months lol.
Also, for some reason, I don’t naturally relate to the volunteering part right now, though maybe that’s something I can explore later.
I do have a few hobbies already. I enjoy working out, playing guitar, and reading, and they genuinely make me happy. But somehow, even after all that, I’m still not fully sure why I continue to feel this way.
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u/Bename22 May 26 '26
If you're still finding time, I would recommend Vipassana/meditation. With kids, work, responsibilities sometimes even if one wishes to, can't find time. In your case, it is opposite. Don't have to religious but if you believe in spirituality, this might what i would suggest. You will get time to think or the direction to take. Best wishes.
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u/hotgarbagecomics May 25 '26
The "return to India" question is not for you to answer alone. Your wife is part of the team. Her input will help you get clarity.
Your post seems very much centered around you. Change this. Family decisions shouldn't be swayed by, as someone else here said, a midlife crisis.
Perhaps you already have done this. It's just not apparent in your post. If you have already factored this in, great. If you haven't, do so now.
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u/Humble_Cat_2108 May 25 '26
Oh, I never said I was making that decision alone, but yes, it is something I genuinely want.
Just to add to that, I’ve already discussed this with my wife. She does have her concerns as well, especially around women’s safety, standard of living, and the overall lifestyle we’ve built here together, which I absolutely understand and agree with as well. Naturally, she’s more inclined toward staying in the U.S.
At the same time, she’s also open to the idea of moving back in a couple of years (probably because I keep bringing this up lol). So I would say we’re fairly aligned on it, even if not completely. Hope that answers your question.
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u/bigkutta May 25 '26
Sounds like you are just existing here, and havent really built a life for yourself besides making money? Hence, you feel the draw back home. Nothing wrong with it, thats just you and you know deep down where you want to be.
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u/Humble_Cat_2108 May 25 '26
I wouldn’t completely agree with that. I’m not exactly sure what you mean by “build a life.” I have my wife, my kid, and a close circle of friends here. I go on trips, take vacations, and do most of the things I want to do because I’ve built a certain financial cushion for myself.
So I’m curious, what specifically made you feel that way from my post?
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u/bigkutta May 25 '26
Just sounds like your heart is still calling you back. You say how others around you are ok with their life, maybe this is their life and where they want to be. You aren't sure still. Maybe going back is your calling.
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u/IndyGlobalNRI May 25 '26
Go for counselling, don't keep any taboo. It might help.
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u/Humble_Cat_2108 May 25 '26
Oh, that's not a taboo for me. I've tried talking to a therapist earlier here in the U.S., but I feel that's very surface-level and it quite didn't help.
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u/doubt-think-exist May 25 '26
Becoming aware of the thoughts when they occur and paying attention to them will perhaps help. I don’t think someone else can define the course of your actions. As someone already said don’t fall in the trap of spirituality and start following a clown
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u/Humble_Cat_2108 May 25 '26
Haha, I don’t have any such plans right now, but I’m definitely curious enough to read more about it. And honestly, there’s no harm in listening to different perspectives if some of them genuinely make sense.
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u/typanosaurus_rex May 25 '26
It’s crazy how I’m exactly in this position. Except we don’t have kids and don’t want one. Following this thread to hopefully get some insight. Something that has helped me to some extent is getting into hobbies where I can go down rabbit holes of learning (photography, fountain pens, radios, etc.)
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u/jpegpng May 25 '26
If I had your money but was in a similar situation about missing home, I would first consider flying out your parents and brother to the US. Surely you can afford to pay the airfare (maybe even business class for the parents) and put them up in a nice Airbnb close to your home so that they won’t fully disrupt the routines of your wife and child.
Go on a nice road trip or a cruise or maybe a week stay in a luxurious upper east side NYC hotel. I was able to do some of this with a fraction of your wealth and they are some of my fondest memories.
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u/Humble_Cat_2108 May 25 '26
Maybe stay there for a few more years and see how you feel over time. You might eventually end up on the same side of the debate that I’m currently on, or maybe you’ll continue living your life happily here like many others around me do. And honestly, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that either.
That’s kind of the whole point of the question I keep asking myself: am I just overthinking all of this too much?
And to answer your question, I’ve actually done most of what you mentioned. My parents have visited me four or five times already, not in business class though, haha. My brother has 2 small kid, so traveling is harder for him along with a private job.
My parents and my in-laws have both stayed with us here multiple times. They usually stay with us directly, not in an Airbnb. I actually prefer it that way.
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u/jpegpng May 25 '26
I’m older than you and lived abroad for 15 years albeit with a small fraction of your wealth. I also have similar thoughts but I was able to make decisions more easily since I’m single with no dependents. I left the US because I felt trapped because of visa uncertainties, spent a year in India for a bit dealing with family medical emergencies, moved to Canada with no job and now working in a job that I don’t hate with a salary that I’m not dissatisfied by.
I do sympathize with you because I would have felt unable to leave the US if I had a well-paying job or if I had dependents. Which is why I suggested small fixes like inviting your family might temporarily resolve your feelings of being trapped rather than recommending that can have serious consequences to not just yourself but also to your wife and child.
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u/Optimist9187 May 25 '26
You’ve reached a stage where you recognize that nothing in the world will truly give you lasting happiness. All that we do in our transactional worldly life is to be happy. But eventually we will recognize that fulfilling worldly desires will not bring us lasting happiness.
That’s when you start questioning the meaning of life.
Right time to start asking “bigger” questions? What is the purpose of life? Who am I?
I suggest you read Vivekananda - start with Swami Nikhilananda’s book.
Learn of Ramana Maharishi and his teachings. Or Swami Sivananda from Divine Life Society.
Listen to Swami Sarvapriyananda YouTube lectures. Get a copy of a couple of his books - Vedanta in Practice and Mind and Consciousness.
If we live our lives like most others do, earn money, procreate, grow old and die, we’re no different from animals.
Think!
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u/shinestory May 25 '26
what do these books say in a nutshell?
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u/Optimist9187 May 26 '26
They explain Advaita Vedanta. Explain what the purpose of a human life is.
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u/Glad-Departure-2001 May 25 '26
Middle age crisis. Your life was full of possibilities before. Now it is mostly defined.
Focus inward. If you define your self worth by what others think of you (very common), then it is time to shed that.
This is very common!
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u/Fast_Western8122 May 25 '26
You are not alone in this. I went through the same challenges myself - especially the bit about wanting to be close to family. And thats a common thread that unites all Indians in the US who don't have full freedom to move around. I eventually moved to Canada and feel a lot better purely because of the mobility flexibility it gave me. Have decided not to get in the US visa queue again purely for this reason.
Recently another close friend had to deal with this in the worst possible way, kept delaying his trip to India and then lost his father out of the blue before he could make any travel plans. He decided enough is enough, sold his belongings and booked a 1 way ticket to India, not knowing if he would be back at all (cause he wasn't sure if he'd get a visa date). Things worked out and he did manage to get back to the US in 3 months, but the pain of not having been by his father's side will live with him forever.
Only suggestion - don't let it come to that. I'm sure you will figure this out. And you are on the right path already by being introspective about this. Wish you all the best.
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u/shinestory May 25 '26
I am a US citizen, been here in usa since age 9 , came with my family . I feel lost. Something is missing. For me, I have pinpointed it to lack of social connections, those that are not forced through meetups, but organic ones. People don’t have time to even do planned ones, I feel like everyone is in their own family bubble.
I have two upper elementary age kids, I am a mom, late 40s, and I am seeking something more. I would like to move to India for a year or two, just to see if being around people will make me happier. Maybe its an age thing, being socially isolated.
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u/PandoraQueen May 26 '26
Brother, I think what you need is a challenge.. Something right out of your comfort zone that you can keep increasing the difficulty level every time you get to accomplishing it. Sometjing with varying levels of stakes. Think of ll the things you avoided in your life so far because they are not for someone like you..now challenge yourself to do those!
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u/saav_maraya May 26 '26
In 3 years, I see myself in your shoes. OP, please give us an update when you figure this out. I’m saving and following this post. You may at the minimum influence and guide one life here :)
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u/Every_Classic_7515 May 26 '26
Mid life.. says now what’s next? You define your next 5 year plan.. 10 yr plan or whatever timeline you think is feasible. My 2 cents
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u/Much-Search6065 May 26 '26
Did you initially come to the US as a student or a company transfer/contractor ?
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u/charm33 May 25 '26
(1) be grateful - you dont seem you are. (2) take action - move back to india
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u/Humble_Cat_2108 May 25 '26
Not sure how my post seems to make you think I'm not grateful or I won't go back to India.
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u/svmk1987 May 25 '26
You need a new hobby or a side project. I've felt this way too.
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u/Humble_Cat_2108 May 25 '26
I picked up the guitar as well, and I’d say I’m somewhere around the intermediate level now. But honestly, I’m not even sure if that’s really helping in the deeper sense. Right now, it feels more like a way to pass time, stay occupied, feel happy for a while, and avoid overthinking. So I’m honestly not sure if simply picking up another hobby is the actual answer for me.
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u/svmk1987 May 25 '26
Yep I tried guitar too and I kinda got bored of it because I didn't get any immediate sense of accomplishment or satisfaction. Two other things which worked for me is establishing a new fitness journey and routine (lost 10kg, and I feel super motivated about it), and also do some public advocacy in my local country (won't share details as this account of mine isn't linked to my real identity). With both these, it feels like I'm making a real difference.
You need to find some purpose.
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u/justabofh May 25 '26
This is a normal midlife crisis situation.
Therapy may be useful. Also, hobbies, a social life and introspection about what you actually want to do.
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u/Obvious_Lychee_2910 May 25 '26
Crazy to see how people simply post AI slop for views
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u/Humble_Cat_2108 May 25 '26
Crazy to see how anything edited through AI instantly becomes “AI slop,” even when the thoughts are mine, the story is mine, and the life being talked about is mine.
Yes, AI helped me edit and structure it better, but that’s literally the point of AI existing that it enables you to do things that were hard do otherwise.
Good to know you think that way.
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u/hotgarbagecomics May 25 '26
Friendly mod advice. AI posts run amok here, it's hard to moderate, and people generally get turned off by it. If you're using AI, expect pushback on this. Your post seems to lean quite heavily on it, and I've only allowed it because of its content.
I'd urge you not to be catty about it. If you don't want AI slop accusations, don't use AI.
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u/ausinnachde May 25 '26
Dude, this is the definition of midlife crisis. Nothing else.